Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

Thanks Lala that guy is a dick and not the type attached to one of the hot mens in our Bananian kidnap bid. He's a nasty, crusty clap ridden dick. Hex hex hex.

I say the HT visiting the kids' houses thread. What on Earth??

Ughhh sorry i forgot to reply to you earlier crow . He sounds like a proper waste of oxygen, syphilis ridden dick.

Hexes are too mild for him. Sending a proper "easy" European (stole that from the ballsack thread) curse.

Crow someone should report him for rule breaking. Its anonymous in supermarkets they have numbers up in staff areas or website. He cant just decide that.
There shouldnt be that many customers in store.
Hex on its way.

Some of the posts on the 'going out when cafes etc reopen' thread and others are giving me the rage. But i dont want crucified! Have nearly posted twice about the hypocrisy of people posting about not going to leave thier house until thier personal safety is guarenteed and going to continue to get supermarket deliveries till then to save themselves the hassle. I dont want to stand in a queue to get anything never mind a coffee types. Not vulnerable nor shielding just want someone else to risk thier health for them. Its ok for Crows DD, me and countless others to go out daily into an environment where SD is a joke but if i want to go for a coffee in a cafe were they are reducing numbers they let in I am putting a coffee before life itself! I should stay home like they do!
I have no prob with your average person getting home deliveries (for years usually) just these idiots who think the shopping goes into the trolleys by itself or its someone elses responsibility to keep them safe through all this crap. Apparently wanting to go out is just following others without being able to make our own decisions.
Get all the deliveries you want no problem but just dont talk to me in the same breath about not understanding the virus will still be there once things open or are we all to stupid to realise that?
Dont tell me i can face 100s of customers to serve thier needs but mine dont matter.

And dont tell me to stay indoors to protect you unless of course its to make sure you get your bloody shopping!

Phew! That feels better.

And so much for scribbling to relax me. Did a fair bit and really enjoyed it...now my 'trigger finger' is going mental at me😤

Willow that's what I've been saying too. Someone people in retail are just there to make sure 'real' people get their needs met while yours aren't important at all. It's like they think fucking fairies stock shelves and fill out orders and and and.. I'm beyond pissed off with it and now she's ill and quite frankly I could go torch her place of work. I won't but you know, I'm allowed to say it here and it's ok. I get it off my chest so I don't actually go torch it.

You're definitely allowed to say it here. You could even fantasise over what type of fire you'd like to start.

Maybe I should add flamethrowers on the list of necessary state supplies .

Really hope your DD is ok.

I've got lighters Crow just woke up from a horrid nightmare so riled up to fight anything and anyone.😉 off for a ciggie.

This whole thing has made me realise how little some people know about how their lives are held together by 'invisible' people: from home shopping workers, to factory workers, to fruit/veg pickers, to cleaners.

All still working away in NMW jobs but with the added joy of being abused by customers who dont want to be contaminated by them but still want all the shelves to be stocked/floors clean at all times.

Threads about how furloughed people should be heading to the fields to get harvests in. Always with no idea how that type of work is done but with some vague idea that all it entails is trotting about a field with a basket like some sort of Darling Buds of May PYO.

I'm not feeling the love this morning.

Morning all.
Yep Gnome people haven't a clue do they?
I refrained from replying to one poster who was complaining about staff restocking shelves while she did her shopping with her husband (because she wanted a lot of shopping so he had to come and help!!) They and thier huge crates of products should have got out the way for her as she didnt want them near her! 😠

I used to do fruit picking as a child all summer and sometimes tattie picking in October it was back breaking but as a child it was ok and good money for us. i wouldnt want to sit on one of those huge machines doing veg harvests now. Freezing cold and having my bones rattled constantly.

Same with the crap trotted out about 'drop in centres' "just get an Uber to your drop in they will sort you dont go to A&E unless your head is hanging by a thread". I dont have a drop in centre..nor Ubers and nearest A&E is 40 minutes away by car. Thread last night where op was told to go to A&E if abscess no better this morning by her GP but she was eorried about going it was in the first paragraph of op. Cue 2 posters telling her tp see her GP and if she wasnt going till tomorrow then obviously she didnt need A&E just a drop in centre! Despite other posters including nurses urging her to go today as abscesses can cause serious infections. People live in thier own little bubble where they are the only person who knows whats what and everyone else is wrong. Grrr.

Oh well sod em all. Suns shining and i got to work in my invisible job today. At least today my only customers are other staff.😀

Have a good day folks.

Oh MN has had an issue with going to A&E for ages. Never go unless already dead.. and even then you're a time waster because there's nothing they can do and you should just be cremated in the garden bonfire.

Garden bonfire! Dont be so inconsiderate! Put yourself in the shed and just get your family to squirt you with air freshener regularly. You also cant be put under the patio because any building work which hasnt been authorised by the frothing department is also inconsiderate.

In fact, if you are feeling peaky could you just shut yourself in the cupboard under the stairs.

Will nobody think of the neighbours?

I don't even have stairs, much less a cupboard under them.
Guess I'll just shove myself in the oven

Morning all
At work today

crow hope your dd is OK and can get a test sorted.

To be fair I do think the idea of the head visiting the homes of 200 pupils is quite stupid, especially given that we have been have been told to cancel all routine patient home visits! (humble apologies most gracious leader, please don't throw me out of banana land!)

Anyway... My new pond liner was delivered this morning before work, so a few thousand dead right there....
May also pop to the Co op on way home for non essential chocolate
Local fish and chip shop opened yesterday so we are planning fish and chips for Friday
So keeping up my killing streak.

Blessed Day

'Alkies' ?not funny

Under the present conditions, in the next 6 months, I expect to see my midwife twice, when I'm in the hospital for scans anyway. I think I might see her sightly more in the last month, but I'm not sure, and anyway circumstances might have changed by then. I'm a first time mum. (Not actually too worried as I have a lot of experience with babies/ small children, but she doesn't know that.)

So how is it that a HT can make house calls but not a midwife?

humble apologies most gracious leader, please don't throw me out of banana land!

Opposing views are more than welcome in the Banana Republic, that's how it all started after all.

And I did say I also think it's bonkers and told OP to email for clarification or just to refuse/offer alternatives.

But all the report him to the police posts made me roll my eyes.

Alkies' ?not funny huh?

Hex - bring up and spit out big globs of phlegm

Curse - happens once a month until a certain age is reached

Mostly hexes are temporary and wear off on their own, curses are longer and there's normally no time limit and involve outside intervention to break them.

Morning all.

Yeah flamethrowers, hexes, curses, all of the above. The guy is all the bad words under the sun. I always considered myself a solitary witch but the idea of a coven of pretties all throwing their worst at some unsuspecting soul is beginning to have an appeal.

Spoke to DD1 early hours and she said she didn't feel too bad. Fingers crossed it's a few days of meh then she starts bouncing back.

No killing spree today, I'm not friends with the outside world so I'm staying in my pjs.

Morning everyone - I think I met One Of Us in Aldi on Saturday! I was in my usual 'get it done' mood and charged forwards a little too fast for the lady in the box in front who was dithering over a choice of two products. I said "Ooops sorry" as I stepped back into my own box to wait (like a good little citizen) but she said 'Go ahead love - get it off the shelf if you want - I'm not One of Those" .

And in order to keep up enough of a murder rate to qualify for this thread, yesterday my son and I went to the supermarket TOGETHER!!! No queues, no guard on the door counting people in and out so he carried the (heavy) basket and I wandered along behind him chucking things in it! He then put basket on the self checkout (halo polished for not risking the life of a cashier!) and waited outside for me to scan and pack. This may not have been entirely for the benefit of anyone's health at risk of COVID but more to do with him not wanting me to say "You can get this shop on your card"

The Head Teacher is probably bored silly

It’s nice when you meet someone who says “I’m not One of Those”.

I really hope places like the National Gallery are quiet when they open, due to all the Covhysterics.

Alkies' ?not funny
Who's an 'alkie'?

I suspect littlemeitslyn is another poster who cant read but had to comment anyway.😉

I'm due to go on a looong loong work mandated killer walk tomorrow. With DD! Can't wait.