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Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

999 replies

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 21/04/2020 19:40

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

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45
LilacTree1 · 26/04/2020 21:37

I’m more of a potato with arms and legs.

Oh and a head.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 21:59

Well at this point I'm quite uniform. So more like a uhmm chest of drawers.😂😂

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Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 26/04/2020 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 22:14

Lilac potato head.

Aww I have this adorable image in my head now.Blush

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Shitsgettingcrazy · 26/04/2020 22:25

I had about 2 stone to lose when I met dp. Now I have about 3 to lose. He doesn't alotbof our cooking and gives me the same portion as him. Except he is 6ft 4inch and built like a brick shit house, so can eat loads and not gain weight.

I have lost weight since lock down and still have 3 to lose.

Dp has always been massively attracted me and it does boost confidence and make me worry less. He knew me 24 hours before he told me I was hot and could he take me out. I had only left my husband 10 days before so said no. He pursued me for 9 months until I thought 'fuck it, I fancy him and fancy a shag'. I was always self conscious around my exh, but didn't feel that around dp. He has really helped me feel more comfortable in my chubby skin.

But as I have said before, I am only losing because its a combination of still not getting my sense of taste back, after being ill and stress.

I am going to make a concerted effort to eat more decent stuff. I am surviving on snacks at the moment.

Its cant be helping my mood.

isabellerossignol · 26/04/2020 22:37

My husband, to his credit, has never ever commented on my weight. Ever. He has never uttered a critical word about my appearance in all the years we have been together (over 20 years) and he often compliments me. But, I know he has eyes, and I'm sure he wouldn't be devastated if I shifted a bit of weight...

But actually, now that I'm in my mid 40s I'm having that realisation that actually I need to take care of my health. Diabetes is coming for me, even my slim relatives have developed it as they have aged. If I don't shift this weight I'll be developing it soon, instead of holding it off until I'm maybe 60 or so...

LilacTree1 · 26/04/2020 23:06

Princess- I don’t know how you made a cute image from that. Smiling potato with lilacs for hair? 😂

Speaking of cute, I saw a baby squirrel today.

Meanwhile, on other threads, good things to emerge from lockdown are sunshine caused by fewer planes in the sky. And I’ve been told off for querying it.

LilacTree1 · 26/04/2020 23:07

I was going to eat some ice cream but this thread has put me off....!

CrowCat · 26/04/2020 23:08

I'm a bit jealous reading all these lovely DPs liking their partners bodies as they are! My exH made me feel so shite and self conscious about my body, especially when I was pregnant with DD2. I know I'm no super model, I've had 3 DC, but I've never been bigger than a 12/14. Mind you he was an absolute git anyway, so much emotional abuse, so much gaslighting and cheated twice. He did a proper number on my self esteem.

The most I've done in the few years since we separated is flirt and then wuss out when they wanted to meet up. I've had quite a bit of interest during lockdown and I really would like to think when it's over I'll take the plunge and at least have a shag WinkGrinConfused

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 23:21

@CrowCat it does help when the aim is just the shag. Not a lot to second guess or worry about cause once it's done it's done.

I did a bit (A LOT) of that between my ex and OH.

OP posts:
PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 23:22

Is this you Lilac? Grin

Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus
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LilacTree1 · 26/04/2020 23:24

Princess - yes! But flowers past my potato shoulders, neatly tied back so it doesn’t get in the way of my AK47.

CrowCat · 26/04/2020 23:26

Princess it would be a start I guess. Certainly won't be throwing myself into a relationship any time soon but I think it's time I started enjoying some male company again.

Might have to look into that vag plumping cream first though Grin

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 23:30

See? Adorable Grin

Crow the pumping might work for plumping? GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 26/04/2020 23:32

On that note, I have been concerned that I have come to resemble a Flump. Probably the one with the headscarf...

Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus
CrowCat · 26/04/2020 23:44

This thread is pissing me off. My DD1 works in super busy retail and faces 100s and 100s of people day in day out but some people don't really see the problem with that!!!

To think people have forgotten what lockdown was for and now think they’re all going to die http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3892000-To-think-people-have-forgotten-what-lockdown-was-for-and-now-think-they-re-all-going-to-die

Willow2017 · 26/04/2020 23:52

OOOOh I loved the Flumps.
Bring back the Flumps I say. That will cheer the country up no end Grin

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 26/04/2020 23:54

We can all waddle /roll together. Grin

Crow that's shit and must be so worrying for you and her.

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CrowCat · 27/04/2020 00:02

Princess it really is, she's in a public facing roll day in day out dealing with some proper scum who'd happily cough in her face for not having the item they're after. One customer spit in her DPs face a couple of weeks back. They have zero protection. And yet there are some on these boards complaining about staff who have been working constantly while they only crawl out of their homes once a fortnight for fear of catching something. Makes me spew.

LilacTree1 · 27/04/2020 00:23

isabelle that flump was my favourite but I’ve forgotten her name.

Boiler’s bust - hot water anyway.

I really hope they send someone.....😞

Thepigeonsarecoming · 27/04/2020 05:05

I’m having a major blip, I’m so sad, and feel very guilty, one of my neighbours who I’ve known for many year died of a stroke, alone. I’m maybe trying to goad people with www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3892189-Do-go-out as I kind of want some jobsbody to argue with me right now

I feel so guilty, I don’t know if I could have helped if I’d checked? I just assumed she was isolating

Now wondering how many bodies are going to be found in homes completely unrelated to Covid when this is over. I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t a fun post, I just needed a safe space to rant

Shitsgettingcrazy · 27/04/2020 06:43

ah Pigeon, I have posted on the thread.

I am sorry this has happened.

Your posts don't need to be fun. I moaned all weekend. We are all here to help each other get through and maintain some sense of humour.

This group, really helped me over the weekend. Talking out my problem and helping me get the root of it.

We are pretty fab! If I do say so myself.

We are here to support you. Please don't feel guilty. I know that's easier said than done.

My friend killed herself last year and I felt the same. If only I had done xyz.

Unless you had checked on her right at the right time, where symptoms are showing but not too bad she can't answer the door, it probably wouldn't have helped.

My grandad had a stroke in hospital. My aunt saw his face droop but he didn't survive. And he was in hospital, got care immediately. Not sure if that's helpful, but you are clearly a kind and loving person. You arenr one of these that ostracised older people or didn't care what happened to them. How you feel now, is because you are a good person, who wants to do their best.

Yes, I also worry about peolle living on their own. What happens if they have a serious but survival accident. My neighbour has cancer. I dont think he would go to hospital, so even checking on him may prove fruitless. He wouldn't tell us if he was bad. It will be waiting until he doesnt answer the door because he is too sick to.

My mum and dad split up when I was 2 and mum remarried. She then divorced him and some years later got back together with my dad. I have never been happier that they got back together. The thought of either of them being alone, makes me feel sick.

I feel incredibly lucky that non of my family live alone.

Please carry on posting here. Let us help you.

Not sure if any of that helped. But I hope so. ❤

Patte · 27/04/2020 06:44

Pigeons, I don't know what to say but I'm so sorry, please don't feel guilty, you had no way of knowing. I'm sure your neighbour wouldn't have wanted you to feel bad.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock, sorry to make you jealous, I know I'm very, very lucky to have a safe swimming place within walking distance. It might be saving my health and sanity though. It was making me think though that there should be some sort of scheme for letting people who can't do other exercise into swimming pools at the moment, even if it's one at a time. There are some people for whom swimming in a pool is going to be their only practical way to exercise due to disability. At least I have options, not everyone does.

Orangeblossom78 · 27/04/2020 06:48

I'm sorry to hear about person dying from a stroke. My elderly neighbour downstairs had one before Christmas and she waited three hours for an ambulance. Top floor flats so tricky to get out too. They got her the clotbust drug they use though thankfully. So even before this that was the case and with the virus people are scared to go in. I'm more concerned about these people at the moment and all the virus drama has done to prevent and frighten people from getting help. It's really sad. But remember that some things are outside of our control. Would we even have heard that story in the news pre Corona. Possibly not.

Ah the swimming in the lake sounds lovely. I'm so missing swimming. Wish I lived by the sea or lake. We have a spot nearby where people swim in the river, a Weir, but it's known for tummy bugs and druggies tend to hang out there unfortunately.

Orangeblossom78 · 27/04/2020 07:54

On the weight, yes feel this lockdown isn't helping with the pool and classes not on etc. I'm on PIP and it got me really low cost membership and could go any time, all gone now.

I might try madly doing to walk to school as it is up a massive hill. Wondering if it might just look really odd though- the sad mummy still going through the motions even though the school is off! DC of enough to do something while I went out. It really used to make a difference to my mood. Today it feels like a massive block on my head. Need a routine.

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