Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

Princess I really think “whatever gets you through” is important. You won’t hear of criticism from me.

Speaking of criticism, tomorrow’s government complaint will be too much traffic - people and cars - which they will have monitored. Le sigh.

Good night you fabulous killers!

Morning all.

I do wonder if we should be inviting Trump onto this thread. His latest suggestion is that injecting disinfectant into patients could be a cure. I've got a few syringes left from previous medical crises. Should I tip out the heparin and replace with domestos? Would pine disinfectant be better as it would give me a lovely clean smell?

I could keep them in the medicine cabinet and just shoot up if I start feeling a bit peaky.

morning a glorious leader princess and fellow bananians.

shits I completely agree about your NHS view. As do most of the people who work in the NHS (in non covid depts)
It is totally ridiculous how it has all just sort of stopped. I am so, worried about the impacts this is having on peoples non covid phsyical and mental health and I think once things start getting back to "normal" and we fully realise the impact this has had it will be totally devastating.
I know GPs who have very little to do - people are just not presenting to them which is a worry. So many other hospital depts shut down totally, for no really good reason. It just crazy.
My specialty have been still working but have swapped a lot of consultations to telephone, but I am starting back more face to face appointments next week thank goodness. Although a lot of the face to face apps I've already offered people have not wanted to attend, or just not turned up - and this is the problem of all the scaremongering when it makes people to afraid to attend a much needed medical appointment.

Anyway, off to work shortly. Takeaway tonight yay and then its the weekend again.

Smile ...don't tease us like that! We need to know. Can you tell us when you get back? (If you get back?).

Also...Tho I think l more like catching the doggers peeing in the park!

We've actually found a local cottaging place where we've walked the dog a few times.

Opens up a whole new can of worms. I wonder how I can add it into the pee in the woods thread?

In other news...the Child and I plan on murdering many today as we are going to a well known local chemist to purchase face masks and other non-essentials to have a pamper day tomorrow. It's her treat for an excellent first week back at school.

Sorry - second sentence above should have been in bold. It's what Smile said earlier in thread.

Already writing at people in capital letters on here. Bad start 😂

Morning all

Pinkginhelps slightly envious of you finding dogging and cottaging places whilst on dog walks! This lockdown is definitely messing with my brain!

I've been struggling this week - combination of not seeing OH for 3 weeks with hormones and an increasing feeling of general unworthiness. Although I'm still working every day (running small engineering company in absence of elderly MD) I'm not a key worker, or NHS worker or anyone worthy, I can't sew and make gowns and capes and masks and scrubs, I can't shop for any elderly or vulnerable people as i can't get to know them anyway as I'm at work, I've not shaved my head to support the NHS, I haven't joined The Clap, or run a marathon in the back garden yet the newspapers and facebook are full of articles about so many people doing all this stuff.
I'm so lucky - I'm still working and getting paid - I have two of my three adult children at home to share stuff with (although the mess is horrendous!) - and two sisters who are doing shopping and stuff for parents. So shouldn't really be feeling down!

It really is this thread (and the peeing in the wood one and the 'is the fear out of proportion' one) that's keeping me sane and smiling so a big THANKYOU to all you heroes on this thread for saving my sanity.

Morning you glorious bastards!

I should NOT have started my day reading the nurses dancing threads. Arghhh

Now I'm grumpy.

We have a rule on our allotment field - never, ever go into another plotholder's shed without full PPE and brain bleach to hand! DH is currently amused (and impressed) by the frequency with which a new young plotholder takes his girlfriend into his shed!

We allotmenteers can be a racy lot

Morning murderers. @GnomeDePlume surely the more efficient Mumsnet way would be to just knock it back in shot glasses?
I’m feeling really fed up as I think I’ve fucked up regarding jobs. And I did the same last year. I really fucking hate myself regarding finding another job. I apply for somewhere and then find somewhere else. I’m going to piss off every school in my garden county (I know where Moat House is 😉)

I have already been asked, twice, this morning

'So you want to just throw covid paitents straight in the morgue? Is that what you want?'

Smile - I confess, I am very curious. Not to take part but I think it would be mildly amusing/ nauseating to stumble upon it.
I remember a documentary series about Brit doggers quite a few years ago. I wish I could find it. I'd never heard of it before the series.
Fascinating and a welcome distraction from all things lockdown!
I'll update you if I see anything of interest on my next walk.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking

Challenge Accepted!

Not to take part but I think it would be mildly amusing/ nauseating to stumble upon it.

I saw a headline on one of those magazines where people sell their, personal stores to.
I can remember exactly what the headline said.

But essentially a lad in is early 20s went dogging, there was a man and woman snagging and a group of men wanking over them 🤢

The woman got up and it was the lads mum 😱😱😱

I don't if that happening is worse....or that you would have your face in a magazine claiming it happened.

Ohhhhhh here are the sane people. I wondered where they had gone...

Ohhhhhh here are the sane people. I wondered where they had gone...

Dogging apparently 😂😂😂

@Shitsgettingcrazy that's a tricky question for a game of 'Would you rather...'

Just a thought, is snagging what happens when participants get caught on a bramble mid throes?

@theemmadilemma we are huddling here (at the officially designated 2m spacing) for safety. There was talk of getting Spanish soldiers in early on but that seems to have gone by the wayside. All we seem to be left with is giving the NHS The Clap. It's a sign of the times.

You came for the soldiers and stayed for the banana(s).

Just a thought, is snagging what happens when participants get caught on a bramble mid throes?

Its what those of us with poor spelling do instead of shagging. sometimes you can get caught on a bramble.