People having family and friends visit

[BackInTime]

Why do some people think that it's ok to have friends and family over? That they are special and the rules do not apply to them. So infuriating and an insult to those of us who are missing seeing our loved ones.

@Redwoodmaz we haven't been told that at all. There are many reasons we can go out - one of them being to care for friends/relatives.

We visit my MIL every weekend. She lives in a v large house with extensive grounds. DC cycled to her her house, mowed the grass, while we cut brambles and had a bonfire
Well this makes sense, single mother, 3 kids in a flat with no garden=stay put.
Whereas your MIL, with too big a garden, of course you’re allowed round to garden, definitely both of you too!

Next time god send us a virus that wipes out just the stupid people!

Clearly extensive grounds are fine unless the extensive grounds are a park and you dare to sit on the grass because you live in a tower block with three kids...

One rule for one

Several of my neighbours are carrying on as normal which I see every day as I am sitting in my garden respecting lockdown rules. Friends and family still visiting several times per week, bbq parties with numerous guests, Easter lunch with grandchildren visiting, going in and out of other neighbour's houses, going to the local shop every single day. What is really amusing is the Thursday night clap brigade who gather closely together to clap and then chat for over an hour each week.

DH and I are staying home from work, only going to the shop once per week and we haven't seen any friends or family since lockdown began. So I can see where some people are wishing ill health on those who are clearly flouting the rules putting the rest of us at risk.

It is a slippery slope because people twitching their curtains because some might be getting visitors..they don't know the reasons all of the time why that person has to be looked after.
I've got a lot of elderly on my street who have had family come over they need them more then ever to do shopping etc so if anything I've seen them come over more often as their parents can't go to the shops or get their medication also a lot of them live alone and don't always have Carers so need to be checked upon by family.
I've not seen parties or BBQs everyone I know is complying as much as possible but I've got one friend who lives in a high rise with kids and she has to go the park with the kids are we going to tar and feather her in the street?
It's all going to far you do know planes are still coming in and out everyday and we're focusing on the small minority that may be flouting the rules when their letting in people unchecked ten times a day if not more maybe we should focus on that instead ?

There are many reasons we can go out - one of them being to care for friends/relatives.

Yes but how many people are allowed to go care for one person?

One of my neighbours is going to the shop every single day and then has a relative coming to visit daily and because they are apparently considered 'vulnerable' and 'unable to go to the shop' they get a council volunteer bringing a care package every few days and they have numerous other friends and family visiting regularly. Surely if the neighbour is able to get themself to a large shop (which has a pharmacy) every single day they don't need numerous people visiting them as well? If they did need some sort of help then surely only one or two people are required?
Some people are just taking the piss because clearly the rules do not apply to them.

My neighbour isn't she's got early onset dementia .

Bonfires are just really selfish. That’s pretty low.

So if schools go back but with social distancing rules do we accept that 25% of parents will believe that these rules don’t apply to them?

The situation you described is allowed. You are allowed to help a vulnerable person.

Yes, I know. But a lot of people, not necessarily on this thread but elsewhere, are very adamant that it's not acceptable. I've certainly seen it on my local Facebook page, people being publicly shamed for providing help to others. That's why I feel that it's a slippery slope.

No one who sees me going to my mother's house knows why I'm there, they only know that I am.

And to clarify, I do believe in sticking to the rules and certainly haven't been socialising.

But I'm very wary of 'my neighbour's daughter is there everyday' statements because there might actually be a reason for it.

There's no reason for bringing the whole family for a jolly though.

@Guardup I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how difficult that is. I hope your dad is comfortable and as ok as possible and of course, it's perfectly natural to want to see him .

I don't think people are really understanding the impact that "just popping round to see someone" could have on the health service or on other people they come into contact with. Unless you are completely isolating, never going to shops, never touching anything others could have touched, you can have no idea of the potential impact you are having. That's the point. I'm following the rules to the letter and when all this is over my conscience will be clear.

Every day I go to visit my mum and dad, my mother in law and my grandparents. Me and the kids sit at the bottom of their gardens, they stay inside their house and either speak from the doorway or the window. The only contact made is when they throw a packet of crisps at the kids but none of them have left the house in weeks.
My reasoning is that we're helping their mental health. We don't travel by car, we do it on our daily walk and spend roughly 10 minutes at each house.

I'd love to take a bottle of wine and have a wee drink with my mum but that would be taking the piss.

Gwynfluff

PolloDePrimavera

Thanks so much for acknowledging my post and for your kind words.

Cancer is an absolutely beast and is ripping my heart in two.

When lockdown ends then, will all the people banging on about the 'rules' just assume that the virus has miraculously disappeared and everything is hunky dory again?

Whilst I'm not someone who casually flouts the "rules" without thinking, I am one of those who considers the details of each situation rather than repeating the "must stay home" mantra.

I've repeatedly defended people who drive to go for walks because they are going somewhere quieter rather than try and dodge crowds in the streets, because logically it reduces their chances of infection.

I go to visit my parents, but stay outside at a safe distance...I also see a friend occasionally when walking the dogs, but stay ten feet away from each other, because I'm no more likely to spread or catch the virus than I would if I was walking in the same place as strangers.

In every situation I weigh up if I am putting myself or anyone else at risk, and I'll continue to do so when restrictions get lifted, based on scientific information.

So actually , I think you might find that it's the ones who blindly follow the "rules" without using their own powers of rational thought, could be the ones who will revert to normal behaviour when restrictions get lifted.

Self-isolating - I agree! Every person who follows the rules is helping stop the spread and is protecting themselves and their families. We’ve chosen to do this and not only from selflessness. Anyone saying they wouldn’t comfort a close relative living alone on the death of a partner, that’s just weird. Compassion is keeping the rules to stop others dying but also compassion is understand that some situations maybe are a little different. The PP gets that bit some people in the replies just seem to like following and policing rules and getting pissed off with their fellow humans.Are you going to say key workers should be out spreading the virus? No, some situations are more nuanced and the initial guidance did state you could still visit if caring for a vulnerable person. People are saying MN attitude has changed. I’ve seen maybe 2 posters saying they just don’t care. Everyone else has genuine reasons ie helping with funeral arrangements/ giving consolation to the bereaved. The remaining people are all commenting in favour of sticking to the rules. So most people, most of the time are complying which has got to be slowing the spread significantly. Where is your anger at the government for being so slow to react and enforce lock down? It would have been so much more effective if we’d have introduced it earlier. Just bitching at each other and reporting others is depressing. Stop being so bitter about a decision you’ve made to protect yourself and your family.

Sorry - the OP get that difference, but some of the replies etc....

All the people saying those who bend/break the rules don't deserve NHS treatment, calling them thick or whatever other childish insults and wishing them death (bit extreme).

Do you realise that we are all going to get this virus at some point. If you're in an area with a low infection rate it makes no real difference if you get it now or later. My local hospital has had like 22 covid patients since this started. Friends that work in the hospital say its dead and they're twiddling their thumbs.
The vast, vast, vast majority will need no hospital treatment. Many of us are happy to take the chance because we know ours and our families health, and lifestyle, and feel confident we won't need hospital treatment.
Many of us are almost 100% sure we have had the virus already.

So no, I and many others who probably don't feel brave enough to admit it, haven't been following rules to the letter.

And lastly, do you not think your anger is misplaced. Why are you mad at Brenda for having her grandson in the garden for a tea and a catch up when you should be angry at the government for not providing proper ppe for NHS workers to protect them. If we were testing like other countries we could be letting those that had the virus already out of lock down and doing lock downs in areas that have higher infection rates only. Why arnt you mad at the government for forcing you to be in lock down due to their shit handling of this.

But no, carrying clapping like a bellend, loving our clown of a pm, voting tory and sitting at home shitting your pants while you read the daily mail.

Our goverment is not the only government in the world telling us to go on lock down, its a standard practice to flatten the curve. And obviously the rest of world is trying to get ppe its not like our goverment is keeping it from us because they r being mean. Its common sense , if we stay at home we try and stop passing it on to other people, yes their r people caring for their relations, put having a party or just popping round cause u fancy it is just potentially spreading the virus. Which is selfish and wrong

@Naturalbornkiller. You do realise that there is no evidence yet that having Covid once gives you immunity?

Our goverment is not the only government in the world telling us to go on lock down

Just because France, Italy and and Spain have handled it badly too, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be angry at our gov for this over the top lock down.

Look at how Germany and Singapore have dealt with this. Testing reduces the severity of the lock down. Did you see what the Chinese health care professionals wore - full suits and masks. Ours wear a paper mask and a plastic apron like a dinner lady. We don't have ppe because the order wasn't put it. That's why NHS staff are dying, not because I popped to my dads to have a beer.

At this point I'm alot more concerned about the economy and the deaths due to the lock down than I am covid. In my opinion we need to spread the virus quicker so we can get herd immunity and get out of lock down quicker. But then we won't even know if we've got herd immunity because the gov can't be arsed to test anyone.

We are fortunate enough to have a garden, not large, but big enough that our children and GC could come round and sit/play at a safe distance. We don't do it because we have been asked not to, and we know this won't be forever, but I don't judge others who choose to make different decisions. There are two of us, so we have company, but if I was on my own I might feel very differently. One of our neighbours has regular visits from family, and it's none of my business why. I'm amazed that people would think of reporting people.

My experience, based on neighbours and what I see when out on walks, is that most people are following the guidance. That seems good enough. I'm in London.

It's fascinating to observe human behaviour though - usually Mumsnet is full of people talking about their own 'little family' and resenting family visits, now it's full of people who must see their mums/Mils/extended family/friends every day!

You do realise that there is no evidence yet that having Covid once gives you immunity?

Not strong evidence no. But it's highly unlikely it wouldn't seeing as with simular illnesses, once your immune system has fought the virus, you retain antibodies for 3-12 months. And if you got it again after that time, your illness would likely be much less sever as you immune system has already sucsessfully fought it once. Remember this is a mild illness, its not in the same category as TB or ebola or even SARS.

Many countries are sending people back to work and off lock down that have had the virus already. So it's obviously not that insane to think you have immunity once you've had it.

Oh and I wouldn't listen to the WHO. I saw them pushing the idea that you won't have immunity from having the virus. They would say that because they want to make sure their financiers sell lots of vaccines. The WHO are jot independent or impartial.

I think ita all very well saying what should of happened but doesnt help us now, the government are people and yes somethings they havent got right but i know i wouldnt want the job, maybe if u think u would do such a good job u should get a job in politics
Its not the goverment cant be arsed to test its they r stuggling with upscaling it, i have a friend who is a scientist who is working at the testing she is struggling as lots of the components that u use to test just isnt there as there is a global need and they cant just magic them