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Neighbour abusing vulnerable delivery slots - what to do?

261 replies

Doeeys · 14/04/2020 12:26

Need advice on what I should do...since the lockdown began, my neighbour receives on average 3-4 large online deliveries from Asda, Sainsbury's and Tesco, this usually occur on consecutive day's - this week she has had them Sunday (Sainsbury's), Monday (Tesco) and today (Asda). She is in her mid 40s and has asthma and has been classed vulnerable, however she often goes out during the week to do top up shops as I see her unloading shopping from her car. She has also contacted the local volunteer group to also get 3 large 6pints of milk when she only has herself and one 7yr old. What is concerning me is that there are really vulnerable and elderly people out there that can't even get one delivery slot and she has had 10plus deliveries since the lockdown and it appears she is abusing the system. I have a small 6mth old baby and I am still going out as I know there are people out there that are truly vulnerable and need these extra priority services. What are your views on this and what would you do?

OP posts:
Doeeys · 14/04/2020 13:18

Thanks for your replies everyone, just wanted your opinions. With the lockdown and everything it's always good to see what others would think. Lol there's no spying and constant teetering at windows, you shouldn't jump to conclusions. In my area local deliveries are very rare even today and so it's something that stands out. Anyways...thanks again for all the replies

OP posts:
CherryBakebadly · 14/04/2020 13:18

No, we called Sainsbury’s - took a LOT of tries to get through but as I’m disabled and have underlying health problems they added me and they said DH asthma meant he shouldn’t go to shops either and could be added separately had he wanted.

MigginsMs · 14/04/2020 13:19

Come on, how likely is it really that someone is getting 3 - 4 large deliveries a week plus 18 pints of milk for 2 people? Much more likely that she’s shopping for others. Don’t do anything and concentrate on yourself

Peppafrig · 14/04/2020 13:19

Leave the poor woman alone OP and stop stalking her .

Ohdeariedear · 14/04/2020 13:20

you shouldn’t jump to conclusions - couldn’t have put it better myself OP.

JeSuisPoulet · 14/04/2020 13:20

I've taken to getting food from farm shops. I looked at Tesco every day for the last week in the night and early morning trying to get a slot and nothing is free for the next 3 weeks. I see no easing up of it at all.

I have however seen a few people "ordering in for parents" which allows them to buy their own groceries, friends and other's shopping at the same time. This actually kind of makes sense to me, as although it does feel unfair (I'm a single mum so have to risk shops alone leaving dd in the car for fear of public shaming, let alone the issue of what happens if I died) at least multiple families can benefit from one delivery slot.

LoveIsLovely · 14/04/2020 13:20

"you shouldn't jump to conclusions"

Er fucking what. But apparently your jumping to conclusions is fine?

Beautiful3 · 14/04/2020 13:21

Don't worry, she will soon run out of space and money!!! My brother is stockpiling, and thinks he's amazing for doing so! You can't cure stupid I'm afraid!

HairyFloppins · 14/04/2020 13:21

I had two deliveries in the same week Sainsbury and Tesco the other week. I am not on the vulnerable list but I can't walk very far.

Peppafrig · 14/04/2020 13:22

OP your entire thread is you jumping to conclusions are you serious ?

BringMeSunshineInMyLife · 14/04/2020 13:24

We are getting extremely vulnerable supermarket deliveries (from this week- we have been on standard until then but can no longer get slots). We had 2 deliveries one week.

  1. 35 items were not delivered from the last order . 18 were substitutions. 11 of the substitutions were of no use. You can only order 3 of any item- that is very limiting when on a restricted diet.
  1. 1 of our household is on a limited diet due to cancer. If their stuff doesn't arrive they have no food. We had a scary choking incident last week when the food wasn't appropriate.
  1. We then take all of the cans I order as extra to our local food project- they are feeding 100 instead fo their usual 24. I drive down and don't get out of my car.
  1. 2 days later we take food up to elderly parents who live very rurally. Again 1 is extremely vulnerable but cant get online delivery where they are except through 1 provider. It as taken a month to get that provider to deliver to them. Again I leave it on the doorstep and wave at them through the window. They also need soft food due to cancer.

Not everything is as it seems.

MamaBearLockdown · 14/04/2020 13:24

Honestly, all these people who are saying they are getting them easily, I really do wonder where they live!

I am South East of London, Tesco released slots for pretty much the entire week before the weekend. Someone posted on the local facebook group and pretty much everybody seemed to manage to get one.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 14/04/2020 13:26

As for people shopping for other households, this post is not about that. It's about saving slots for the vulnerable and giving them a chance to shop and get basic essentials

It kind of is though.
You're working yourself up because you think she's a) hogging all the slots, b) being a greedy hoarder
You have no idea who's she shopping for.
There's volunteer groups on FB for example who shop for others - or they could be shopping for vulnerable relatives who have to stay in/have asked them to get the online slots for them as they either can't get them themselves or aren't tech savvy enough to do it/no internet access.
We're told to only go out to the shops if necessary - if you're shopping for a few people, online deliveries would mean going out to fewer shops but still getting the necessaries for everyone.
In other words you have absolutely no idea of circumstances even if you feel like you do from your watching from behind the curtain.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 14/04/2020 13:26

Cherry well you have been lucky! I am disabled too and not eligible for priority because I am not in the extremely vulnerable group. Sainsbury's moved from supporting the vulnerable to extremely vulnerable only. Maybe I should try again.

Hanamuslim · 14/04/2020 13:27

Asthma is classed as vulnerable
My son was asked to leave school early before they closed them down. And my second eldest as well, due to her having a very weak immune system. Originally I was having two slots a week, as we had to shop little and often due to having a small fridge and freezer. Maybe she is in the same predicament and also shopping for others, to help other people. Either way it's her business and maybe there are other health factors. I'd love to get a slot right now. I'd even pay a tenner a time . They are all going and it's really difficult to go shopping with 4 children. We have not been allowed to enter Iceland which was ridiculous when manager was letting a dad with 3 in. I was low on food and had no choice and husband works lates

BringMeSunshineInMyLife · 14/04/2020 13:27

Ps- advice on what to do?

Stop so pathetic. HTH.

nellythenarwhal · 14/04/2020 13:27

There's been a lot of articles recently where people have been sent nasty notes from neighbours assuming that they are flouting lockdown rules. My son is a keyworker and goes into work by taxi 4 times a week and luckily he's not been harassed by people who should have better things to do than curtain twitch and report. I am getting deliveries from one supermarket and luckily my neighbours aren't dicks judging me.

How sure are you that she's not buying for someone else? A lot of nurseries, schools and care homes use the supermarkets for deliveries. Sainsbury’s only deliver to the elderly and vulnerable so I would assume that someone in her household is vulnerable.

Are you sure that slots in your area are as rare as other areas?

MintyMabel · 14/04/2020 13:28

little one is usually woken up from naps by the noise of the deliveries

Hmm supermarket deliveries are not know for their excessive noise.

Can people pls focus on the point

Other than pointing out you need to be less nosy and wind your neck in, you mean? Those are valid points whether they are your point or not.

Peppafrig · 14/04/2020 13:30

@MintyMabel exactly and they don't start till 8am here so hardly early . I know Ocado domdelicery earlier than that .

AllyBamma · 14/04/2020 13:30

Oh OP stop being so nosy. You don’t know the whole story of what your neighbour is doing so keep your nose out of other peoples business. And stop pretending to be so ‘sad’ that other vulnerable people are going without, you have no idea what her actual situation is and what she’s doing for others. Have you so little going on in your life you’re constantly counting how many deliveries she receives and how much extra shopping she does? Mind your own business!

Peppafrig · 14/04/2020 13:30

*do delivery

Hanamuslim · 14/04/2020 13:30

The substitutes can be a real pain, especially if they're things you don't like and can't eat. We were sent pork as a replacement for halal chicken. Dont know if they're just really slow upstairs or thought it was a good joke. I have had 30 quid of substitutes and then have to go out same day to get the things back . Which is really annoying but hey ho. At least the money gets refunded

ajandjjmum · 14/04/2020 13:31

I agree with you OP - some vulnerable people are being greedy. Hopefully they are in the minority.

We are supporting three different households and I have tried endlessly to get an online slot, but without any luck. Bit irritating when the person I know of has had deliveries from Iceland, Asda and Tesco in one week.

C'est la vie!

iano · 14/04/2020 13:31

I had a huge delivery today. I am buying food for our family and several others. I brought all the food into my house and will distribute it later when I've organised it into piles and worked out who owes me what.

This thread has put me right off doing it again. Mind your own business!

nellythenarwhal · 14/04/2020 13:32

Did she get deliveries pre-pandemic? Some supermarkets make it easier for people who had delivery passes to get slots. I've read posts where people have been told that as a person who is vulnerable, they are able to get deliveries every 7-10 days.

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