Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

I have just be told I value privacy over lives.

And that that poster IS better than me because....reasons.

It's really weird.

I think some of them ar happy accept the government fucked up, when it suits. The defend them, when it suits.

Same posters saying, we can trust Boris and his friends, apple and google with put personal medical data. But we shouldn't listen when they say there no time limit on exercise or on buying easter eggs.

I can only put it down to panic.

How the hell do you still get deliveries? We only get post once a week. last time it was fucking torches!!

The Easter crafts I ordered 3 weeks ago still aren't here .

Yeah I might take advantage of OH's last month of prime. I want to open something and Boris' letter doesn't count.

I'm sure you can console yourself with all the pots and lotions and potions and your peachy firm rejuvenated vag

Last week I completely flipped out trying to take 9yo DD to Lidl without any major dramas. Of course there was drama, we're in the time of corona. Tomorrow I'll take her to town instead where I'm assured by the grapevine is far less stressy than supermarkets, I can buy hair dye in Boots, and DD can pick up some sparkly non essential stationary crap in One Below to occupy herself for the week. Plus chocolate. And possibly wine from Tesco express. And yeah, I'm taking it all very seriously but I have both mine and DDs mental and emotional health to consider and a meltdown in a supermarket won't help!

Well i have more sins to confess.
Been for shopping in a CAR and took ds2 with me😲😲 Needed him to read stuff😄😄 did have a brainwave and we headed to Boots after in the off chance and i got chesp reading glassss. Not really strong enough but better than nothing. After trying them on i read a sign saying 'Do not try them on' how the hell do i know of i can read with them if i dont put them up to my eyes? And as they were reading glassss i couldnt read the bloody sign first anyway!!!
Stopped at my opticians and i can order new glasses by phone. No sight tests though which i need as i want to try vari focals again having 2 pr of glasses at work is a pia now.
Didnt get told only one person in at aldi thankfully but only 1 person in at Boots which was fine.

You know what i should stop reading half of the batshit threads on here as my stomach was actually churning driving to the shop. Its crazy. I cant afford to do a big shop at my lical coop no matter how much i agree with thier ethos nor any of the other big ones so tough cheese. Fridge and freezer now full again so wont need to do it again in a hurry.(am putting a chain and padlock on fridge😀)

Crow just a heads up my lical Boots is only 1 persin in from same family.

Willow - you're i's and o's are misbehaving. You should report them.

Shits - I totally agree with your post earlier. It's getting very much 'us' and 'them' and if you are not with us you are against us. Us is apparently the Experts and Apple and Google. Them is the murderers who want everyone to die and take their children to buy sparkly stationery (because they are awesome parents blood thirsty renegades).

your , not you're

Afternoon. Delighted to say I have done nothing useful or wholesome today. I have just ordered a heated shiatsu massager from Amazon though (thought the Spanish police were looking a bit tired).

I've kindly allowed the child to practice their homemaker brownie badge skills and make me lots of coffee. I can feel the hot cross buns and Easter eggs sitting round my middle like a rubber ring. Ah well, I guess it'll be useful as a buoyancy aid if they try and dunk me as a witch...

Think I can take these poor quarantined things out for a walk? I'm sure i can fashion some kind of lead out of something.

Found this by accident

Murderers 😂

🎤 here comes the hot stepper
Excuse me, mr officer
Just tying my shoe 🎤

@Willow It will be me and my 9yo DD when we go to Boots, I'm a single mum so can't leave her at home and certainly not leaving her outside Boots on her own..hopefully they'll let us nip in quickly

Well my Argos delivery came, mainly a new parasol base, I need it when working in the conservatory.

Other than that I have been for my walk, DH though, went to his Mam's to drop off some chocolate she asked us to get and also a present from us. I think it was a 'dump the stuff on the stairlift and go' job though.

My pc keyboard is playing up the 'a' doesnt work unless i press really hard and i type too quickly with no auto correct! Will have a word with the 'i' and 'o' s though 😄

Crow i am sure they will be fine with that common sense and all that still occurs i do believe 😉

Princess your Majesty stick insects are people too! virus covered murdering people

I am now a proud owner of a portable bidet.

@Bumsnet1 at least is not a gold one. That would get you a lynching around here.

Bumsnet1
Say what?? 🤔