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Covid

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Original poster

Separated parents

63 replies

Cannybluff · 07/04/2020 17:52

Hiya, ex wife and I have daughter arrangements weekends, holidays etc. So she won't let me see daughter (5yo)... she is really worried (has OCD) and I sympathise... but going without seeing her rips me apart... interested to know other family situations and views on this

OP posts:

Original poster

Cannybluff · 10/04/2020 19:36

So I really am not dealing well without seeing her. All those who say it's not long etc... it is.. when you love someone that much it is long. Plus if the current situation is repeated for longer then it could be months before she changes her mind.

I've decided to contact a family mediation and give down the court order route. It will end up taking the decision on these things away and be sorted at the same time.

I now just lie in frustration and sadness of the length of time this could take... it's an absolute nightmare

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sadwithkiddies · 10/04/2020 19:45

@cannybluff

my ex stopped seeing his kids due to covid - he doesn't want to risk making his gf & baby ill..
as we were in court anyway it was brought up....and the judge said how responsible he was being!!! and had it drafted in the order - no contact till covid over, and factime x amount per week instead.
I am desperate for the break, and my kids are heartbroken!

so even with the court order in place the judge allowed covid and his wishes 'to protect the children' to override the court order.

just so you know.

letsdothis54 · 10/04/2020 20:27

Cannybluff If it is the fact that your older daughter has a supermarket job for a few hours a week which is causing the issue for your ex wife would be be possible for your daughter to give up this role during this time and you could help her financially? I also have a 50/50 arrangement in place with my exH and his new partner works for the NHS, if it wasn't for the fact she is on maternity leave he already told me that the kids would be staying with me for the duration as he wouldn't want them exposed anymore than they need to be. I'm sure you as missing your daughter like mad but perhaps this compromise might be possible?

Original poster

Cannybluff · 13/04/2020 14:23

Just an update really... so I was looking at court orders... seems like could be expensive and not rapid but had to do something. The process says that unless there are exceptional circumstances then you need to try mediation. My ex agreed as long as I paid so I sourced one.

After 2 hours on Easter Sunday, and a follow up session today, we have come to an agreement that I can have her to stay with me for 3 nights from tomorrow onwards. It is in a different household that luckily belongs to a family member that is vacant.

I'm just over the moon. I want to thank everyone who both agreed and offered opinion against this. It gave me a really balanced view of what is best. Also the mediator was absolutely exceptional. I'm genuinely unsure how I could have got through an indefinite period without seeing my little girl and would urge anyone in a similar situation to reach out and find a compromise xx

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Hannah021 · 13/04/2020 15:40

@Cannybluff glad to hear that.
R u expected to stay in that house for the three days away from your family?

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/04/2020 16:02

Hannah

I'm a fomer nurse turned lawyer. But carry on making stupid assumptions as you previously did.

Hannah021 · 13/04/2020 16:15

@Willyoujustbequiet oh my dear lawyer, you forget your suitcase of statistics to present to us... Where's your data to back up ur case?

Hannah021 · 13/04/2020 16:16

Forgot*

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/04/2020 17:32

Lol hannah poor attempt. Google is your friend. I'm sure you are capable of pressing a few buttons. I feel sorry for you that you are so dismissive of child deaths. Every single one a tragedy.

I don't have the motivation to engage further. You lost me at ur. Have a good day.

Original poster

Cannybluff · 14/04/2020 11:30

Further update.. despite us having a written agreement from our mediation sessions. And despite both me and her mum telling her that it was happening, me doing all the shopping, asking her what she wanted to take and everything... the mum has this morning changed her mind. I'm devastated

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RainMinusBow · 14/04/2020 16:02

@Cannybluff For similar reasons I had to get a Court Order put in place. I've also had to go back to add police powers to it as ex kept breeching. It's not cheap but it's been invaluable. Without it I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Original poster

Cannybluff · 14/04/2020 16:07

I understand that. I'm just really sad. I've filled in the form for court order and contacted the court... I'm pretty sure as its non urgent that they'll look at it in a minimum of 10 weeks... it's totally shit.

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RainMinusBow · 14/04/2020 19:29

@Cannybluff I understand how hard it is to be without a child. It's devastating. And the courts are very slow - sadly I have a lot of experience of Family Court so I totally get your pain and frustration.

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