Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

there are always those that knit next to the guillotine

And they are so offended when you point out they are one of these.

Willow2017

I agree with Princess though. Definitely not their mercy!

#InterpretativeDanceForTheImmune

I can't in all honesty recommend the process by which one would qualify for the Certificate. But by all means, dance for me.

Just drove to Iceland to buy these.... And paid cash.
Muhahaha

This warmed my soul. Two brothers having a socially acceptable distanced get together despite being in different countries.

Imagine the outrage at " Me and my brother live in different countries but really miss eachother. Would it be ok to meet for a drink?"

I didn't see the previous thread, but love this. Some bloody sanity at last!

Shame in you two i am a lady! flounces off in a huff

🤣🤣🤣🤣Dammit i knew i couldnt say that and keep a straight face!

Oh Gawd, I've finally found my people. I sinned, and it weighs heavy on my conscience. Do you want to know what I did? Do you?

We live in a rural, isolated area. My parents live by a beach, three miles away. Yesterday I loaded the DDs into the car and DROVE to the beach for our allocated walk. I brought with me a large chocolate cake. I placed the cake upon a rock, and lo, from the other side of the bay came my mother, a nurse who is currently working on a covid19 ward, and who is a shit baker.

As I backed away, she moved forward until she was able to gain possession of the betinned cake (which had mini eggs on)

She then stood at the sea wall and watched her only grandchildren, both of whom she usually sees multiple times a week and who she hasn't laid eyes on for three, frolic upon the sands.

So not only did I do BAD DRIVING and BAD BEACHING but I also PUT A HERO NHS NURSE in danger for the sake of chocolate cake and frolicking. Except she already fucking is because they won't give her a proper mask to where when treating covid19 positive patients.

I await execution at dawn (turns "Grace" up full volume, pours whiskey)

Princess thats a fab photo.
That would blow a lot of minds! Mind you if brains were gunpowder it wouldnt blow some peoples noses.

Alright so where have you lot been hiding.

I thought it was me.
I thought I was going insane or something with the MN competitive misery/ bleaching of entire household and that talking on your driveway one was the last straw.
I was going to point @ilovecherries in the direction of this thread, and I see she has already found it to share the batshittery of her neighbours who must be MNers.
Hallelujah!
My name is Gin and it's 36 years since my last confession..... here goes:
I am collecting a BBQ later as my teenage DS only gets up to cook before going back on his PS4 for a further 12 hours and he needs his vitamin D.
I have four bars of fairly milk in my fridge (big ones)
I have four bottles of white wine and DH only has two tiny bottles of red as they subbed his for wee ones lol.
I have raspberry magnums hidden amongst the frozen veg so teen DS can't find them.

Another thread now about how dare people let their dog off of the lead to run around a park spreading the virus

Think I am living in a parallel universe to many. I may pop out later to buy myself some chocolate ... hope I can be forgiven

I have 18 bottles of wine stashed away.

Oohhh I love the confessions 🙈 I feel so liberated and I'm glad I'm not alone in my frolicking and non social distancing from safe household with only my mum in it because I have some common sense and although I'm technically breaking rules I'm not putting anyone at risk . Thanks guys

Ahh this thread is fantastic!

We’ve been out to the shop purely to buy chocolate. And had multiple amazon orders for non-essential items like new kitchen knives and candles. And we’ve ordered beer. And I’ve not cleaned and sterilised my shopping or post once I’ve brought it in.

Definitely not following the MN rules!

Oh this thread is brilliant. Such a breath of fresh air. I am a clinical NHS worker and my job is currently shit, but what is even more shit is that I then get made to feel guilty for buying Easter Eggs for my kids. Off to read the rest of the thread and the last one to cheer myself up

A fantastic thread

More confessions - yesterday a relative dropped some stuff off for us.
She waved at me through the window! And laughed!
Then she chatted to DH for 5 mins on the doorstep! (Still observing the 6ft rule)
Later DH nipped to the shops and bought me a mini chocolate cake, the rebel!
On Friday he will purchase hot cross buns in a show of solidarity for Thepigeonsarecoming

I met my friend, am now bleaching the dogs and the cat for shits an giggles

I've finished work for the day and I'm drinking a cup of tea. My neighbour opposite is a lovely guy but he can't relax. Since yesterday morning he has washed and polished both cars and his van, taken his motorbike apart and back together again, mowed the lawn, cleaned the gutters, and now he is eyeing up the cars again. If only social distancing wasn't a thing, I could give him so much work to do at my house. I'm exhausted just watching him...

Mind you, I was so bored yesterday that I ironed everything. Underwear, pyjamas, the lot.

I'm not getting any mail! I understand why, but I want my mini Christmas of opening something I forgot I ordered. Oh and definitely need the toner to fix my yellow/orange tinge that I've been left with.

isabelle hide in the garden while he fixes all that you need?. Then bleach,Dettol,Zoflora,disinfect and sanitise the house.

The cat has been avoiding me since I mentioned bleach!

Oh in case it wasn't obvious, cat,pups and whatever other pets pics are mandatory on entrance. Otherwise yours sins will NOT be forgiven and instead of Spanish soldiers you'll all get an angry , frothing MNetter stationed in front of your house to shout "Shame!Shame!" Every time you even look out the window.

Smile swap to vodka to be in the "spirit"?