Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

I was so SO happy to discover you last night. That makes me sound like Simon Cowell taking credit for your existence? Why, a 45% lifetime earnings commission suits me fine, you won't regret it, sign here and I can make you a STAR...

Ahem. Confessions time - I believe that's the rule for joining the thread? Alas we have no furry pets so can't offer up pics Trust me, if DD has her way, that will change the very second the cat adoption centre undoes its padlocks.

1. I have Tesco delivery slots (2)
2. I've had delivery slots most weeks because I usually book them well ahead to mitigate my usual lack of planning
3. I took DD for a walk last night and it was a) well after her bedtime, and b) forbidden, because I'm supposed to be cowering behind a gigantic shield. Should I report myself to social services or the NHS first? It's a quandary.
4. I'm proudest of this one: I may have slightly "misled" DD about what she has to do for the new Brownies 'Home Sweet Home' badge. Instead of completing one task from each section of household tasks, I said she had to do all of them Yesterday she hoovered. Today I plan to initiate her into the mysteries of the coffee machine. God bless the Brownies.

Please please could you link to the previous thread so I've got something to read with my coffee?

@MutteringDarkly I like the way you think.

The rise in the hero complex www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3864265-the-rise-in-the-hero-complex

Old thread, just stay away from the STD riddled soldiers.

Hi all, I missed the previous thread but this place looks like fun!

My confessions: I've had 2 deliveries of boxes of nice wine ( essential obvs)

I've been spending( too much ) money buying nice things for the home from Laura Ashley and Debenhams as they've both got huge sales on, since they're sadly going out of business.

Said purchases included a lovely furry throw, a gold loo brush and a washing up bowl with a plug in it! 😂

I've got a wine delivery coming next week. Also some camping gear so that the kids can camp in the garden since we're not getting to go on holidays.

I think buying a few things is no bad thing because otherwise retailers are going to go out of business and after this is over we'll be reduced to bartering with our neighbours.

Gold loo brushes are so not aloud, pretty sure your to flog yourself all day for that breach of the roolz.

I've woken up quite happy today. Will get on with coffee cakes in a bit when I'm dressed. DP said hes off to buy small sweet eggs (cant think of the name)
Might risk him a bit more for more cocoa powder, can make mocha cakes then, and its him at risk not me so yeah alls good in the banana house.

GOLD LOO BRUSH

Faints.

What do I need to do if I've got an Ocado order coming...I'm not vulnerable I just logged on and there were like 45 slots...
should I accept the order then sacrifice myself or I could leave the food on the doorstep for others to get who are more vulnerable than myself.
We already had a post in our local Facebook group when Asda delivered to someone saying I hope you are in the vulnerable category.
I'm scared!

Well I survived the shops, not sure about everyone else though. Very busy, shops closing for a day or two is bad enough at the best of times.

I think though, my biggest sin and the one for which I need the most punishment, is I took my cow print shopping trolley. It is coming in very useful.

decisionsdecision it's Easter weekend. I'm sure you can think of something suitably humiliating for your crimes. A crown of thorns might work.

Here ya go! 😂

TheGreatWave I've been taking my tartan shopping trolley out a lot lately, it's been very useful! Jealous of your cow print one tho...

The teenager won't go out with me if I have it.

Morning all!

I hope you are all well. I have just taken the dogs out and going out again. Supermarket shopping. I havent been able to get in one the last few days.

Not convinced I will today either!

Happy chocolate weekend all!

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday and it was something really trivial that set it off. I'd had a day of little things going wrong and had been harassed by a drunk man outside my house, I sat down at 4 to watch Friends on C5, my little bit of sanity and fun and it has been taken off air half way through the season! With no warning but think it's been bought by another channel. I know it's a little thing, but everything is so uncertain right now, there's no normality and now this little bit of regularity and comfort has gone too. Bonkers, I know!

The thing with times like this, the uncertainty of it all, having something in your routine, such as a regular tv programme also changing is enough to tip anyone over the edge @Destinysdaughter

The little things really do matter at the moment. Our day to day lives have changed so much and no-one on this planet has any idea if it will ever get back to how we are used to, and that's a massive, almost impossible thing to come to terms with - it's no wonder things like a tv show being cancelled, or someone eating the last of your ice cream (the reason for my meltdown a couple of days ago) is going to be the last straw.

Ugh. There are sounds of people over the back.

Sounds like Sierra Leone Dancehall. I'm prepared to bet that some kind of barbeque is going to be fired up within an hour - how dare a family sound like they're doing their usual Bank Holiday weekend activities (with or without visitors)?

No sign of DP emerging this morning. So gardening is looking less likely, as I'm not doing it in full sunshine.

Never mind, I will live, as will the copious numbers of weeds for another day.

Thank you for this island of sanity in a sea of rage filled zealots ranting at anyone with a sense of humour.
My confession is that the boyfriend and I (co-habiting during lockdown) like to go out shopping together but we pretend we are alone. We communicate via what's app and little winks and nods (from 2m apart) on any executive decisions re: what "essentials" to purchase. One of us then shuffles away to the car whilst the other avoids breathing whilst paying at the checkouts.
We have discovered a delightful grocery shop that no one else appears to have found. It has plenty of gin, fresh bread and a little squirt of hand sanitiser after you complete your transaction.
Thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread and of course a curtsey to @PrincessConsueIaBananaHammockPrincess. You are all wonderful and delightfully sane.

I have just bartered a kilo of bloody carrots with my neighbour in exchange for a net of oranges. She whatsapped me and we had a complex arrangement whereby we would each wash our own offering, then retrieve them one at a time from the boundary fence, then rewash at home. I’m now going to make Nigellas orange cake (wasting many ingredients in the process), then enjoying it in the garden (more badness). I shall probably breathe at the same time (evil). And best result of all - bastard carrrot stock is finally at a manageable level.

Currently listening to live streaming from the Hacienda, is it too early for wine?

destiny, I understand. I was irrationally upset about something that on the surface was completely ridiculous and trivial, but not having it felt like a disruption too far and reduced me to snotty sobbing.

Managed to get some shopping! Lots of luxuries!

Even these, in hounour of @Thepigeonsarecoming

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Why are you cleaning? What's the point? No one will see it which is surely the whole point of cleaning and do you not realise we are in the midst of an apolcalypse. It's a shameful waste of cleaning products which should now only be utilised for sterilising anything entering from the world outside your front door. Desist and commence making headbands with buttons on