Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

We have just finished watching a movie on Netflix. I laughed at least 10 times and at one point I didn’t have a single COVID thought for at least 53 minutes. This is serious slacking.

Meh.

I made another MasterChef worthy meal today. Duck breast, potatoes, cabbage and a Blood Orange, Lingonberry and Thyme Sauce. After cleaning the detritus from His efforts in making a cheese and ham toastie this morning.

DP said 'Oh, I was going to have a Pot Noodle'.

I am now relinquishing catering duties and he can fucking well do all the cooking and cleaning himself. He ate dinner and said it was very nice, but the Damage was Done.

He's currently sat on the back step in the dark, smoking my cigarettes and wearing my Festival Hat whilst being all pensive and thoughtful. So he looks like a Poundshop Yul Brynner.

Going to persuade him to be all manly and help with extracting some massive weeds from what purports to be a vegetable bed tomorrow. A bit of daylight and physical activity might punish him suitably for bursting my superchef bubble.

Oh - and I made carrot cake because all that’s been in the fecking veg box for a month is carrots. And pancakes.

smoking my cigarettes

Now that's a LTB crime.

Aaaand... now I have some crucifix pic in one of my WhatsApp group. It's not just any old crucifix, oh no it's the one carried through the streets of Rome in 1522 and "miraculously " stopped the plague. Please share....

Where have I gone wrong with my life?

Just be careful pringle. I was doing it yesterday at someone in the supermarket and the uppity murdering bitch had the audacity to say she worked there.

Good luck with that mitzi. I coerced dp into helping with some fencing today, initially I went with the whole manly tool wielding thing, which wasn't very successful because we both know I'm better, and have had more practice. So I had to go with plan B, admitting I needed his brawn, not brain. I did then try and balance it out by bringing up his superior cooking skills, but he suggested I could fuck off if I thought he was going to be talked into spending hours cooking on his first day off. So we put pizza in the oven.

I'm shocked at how many numbers on MN live in the rural parts of the world where they will never see another person and seemingly have to hunt for bread and milk (and cheese) whilst never coming across another sole.
But it's selfish if those in towns and cities go out because they are taking a hospital bed up that they might need because they're rural and have poorer access to healthcare so they deserve the bed...

I saw someone say on my local police Facebook page today that they should be issuing fines to anyone who was caught in their car more than five miles from home. They seemed to have missed the fact that in the area covered by that particular police division, at least two thirds of the population probably don't live within five miles of a supermarket, so all they'd be doing is fining people for grocery shopping.

https://www.facebook.com/124416554409945/posts/1388348644683390/?vh=e&d=n

Three weeks and counting...

It's not aloud to post anything on Facebook unless it includes virtue signaling.

@Mitzik, 'looking like a Poundshop Yul Bryner' made me snort. Yul is my all time crush, especially with the bosom heaving (not his obvs) unresolved sexual tension in the King & I.

But whats the STD riddled Spanish Soldiers about OP, .. Have I missed something?

I'm feeling envious of the Sylvanians in our house. They got to go on an excursion yesterday and it included a steam train. There were delays and even a derailment when DS was at the controls but they smiled serenely.

I cleaned the living room and sorted the board games and mopped the kitchen.

Is anyone else reminded of the Horrible Histories Oliver Cromwell sketch? 'Fun is sinful!'

morning all
another pleasent evening was had in the Max house last night! Chinese was eaten and wine drunk, in the garden having a generally chilled time.DD1 (20) is having quite a wobble though bless her. Struggling to get her uni work done remotely and very much missing her boyfriend.

Have decided to allow myself the rest of the weekend to eat crap/exercise little before getting back to attemtping not to gain 4 stone and mantain a tiny bit of my ability to run.
Today will mostly be spent flitting between the garden, netflix and my book. May do some baking with my illegal flour....

How is everyone baring up today?

I started the day in a eye rolly grump. Papers still peddling the people are out in thousands,pleas to stay at home etc bullshit click baity titles and one carefully staged picture and then when you look through it beaches,parks etc are quite empty.

Doesn't ofc stop the frothers swearing,threatening and hurling abuse at them. Going as far as hoping kids get removed from their parents because they took them out.

Oh and the irony of "save lives..fucking kill the bastards" in the same comment is lost on them.

Yes I'm grumpy.. woke up way too early and in a foul mood. Having no idea whether I'm working next or not and when doesn't help either.

All good today. DD (8) did not wake us before 7 demanding breakfast so managed to get a bit of a lie in.

Need to pop to the little shops to get milk and stuff. May even go to the bakery and get sausage rolls and a biscuit for DS (the one with autism, eats very little, eats shortbread bunny biscuits)

Then shed building will resume.

princess we've had the 'remove the kids' frothers too.

Yesterday on the 'look how many people at Windsor' thread I posted the video from the BBC showing almost deserted places. Even our local paper pointed out that everywhere was quiet. Where are these shots coming from?

ilovecherries - why are you keeping pancakes in your veg box!?
Also, the fact you have a veg box means you're a hoarder. I have reported you.

My Couch to 5K plan is going really, really well. I have now decided which plan I will follow. I have even found a PDF to print which I can put on my fridge.
I plan to possibly think about printing it tomorrow (don't want to do everything all at once in case I pull a muscle). However, tomorrow is Easter Sunday, so it doesn't seem appropriate to be printing, when I should be self-flagellating.

it doesn't seem appropriate to be printing, when I should be self-flagellating.

And now I'm happy again.

Maybe buy a 3D printer and print whips as well as non essential stuff?

I see what you mean about the pancakes, pringle 🤣 Today I have a fish delivery coming, and I am eagerly scanning the road for my sourdough bread and scones which will be here shortly as well.

It’s hacking it down here, so our little isolated seaside town will probably be saved from the ‘flocks’ today. Not that they’ve appeared any other day either, but let’s not get in the way of a good story. The police have also closed the car parks to prevent further flocking. That would be the car parks that have stood empty for a month. However it will stop any local pensioners who are foolish enough to drive a mile to the beach to sit on the front in their car for an hour, watching the sea while sharing a flask of tomato soup. So that’s those murdering bastards sorted out, and I can sleep better at night.

The one plus is that the savage bastard seagulls have found their food supply terminated have had to go out to sea and do whatever it is seagulls are meant to do. Fish maybe??? Anyway, we’ve noticed they are no longer squawking on our roof every morning at 5am.

Thank you so much for this thread.
Can I join please? I have just crawled out of my cell after being found guilty of walking to the shops twice in a week by a Mnetter who spat down my puter that shopping once for me and again for elderly parents was deeply irresponsible.

So I will confess that this week I have:

Aloud my cat to sit on neighbours shed and then return home through cat flap without dousing either her or catflap in bleach diluted with Zoflora.
Cooked a MN chicken and we ate it all, and cat had some.
Threw some stale bread out for the birds [I know] rather than whizz it up in breadcrumbs.
Bought more bread and ate it in preference to the 3 stale cream crackers that were lurking in the back of the breadbin.
Went to Lidl and bought my essentials: a Himalayan Salt Lamp, a bag of easter eggs to leave on doorsteps for neighbouring kids, some margolds for my planter and some jeggings to wear when I sneer at Hank Mancock.
I also confess to throwing neighbour's kids ball back over fence and needed to stand within 2 metres of their fence to do so. Sadly, neither ball nor fence were bleached. And I wasn't wearing my mask either, but I did hold my breath, so please take that into consideration.
Go easy on me.

Stolen from another poster. Didn't even bleach it before sharing.

go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=m.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

The seagulls are all coming inland.

I'd send them back, but then I would have to go outside.