Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

@loobyloo1234 I would gleefully join you in that role. Purely because I can NOT stop eating and I would like everyone else to stop having bbqs purely because I don’t have a bbq or a space I can have one in so they are all making me insanely jealous.

Can someone give me the edited highlights of the gloves thread. Why 3? Are they putting one over their head al la penguin in Wallace and Gromit The Wrong Trousers?

I understand the rules, but the 'spirit' of the rules is less clear. Can you help?

Whilst filling the void of unemployment I accidentally watched a make-up tutorial and that led to ordering some cream eyeshadow for delivery. Am I supporting small business or have I just murdered a delivery person?

gloves and how to wear them. Apparently.

I did think, whilst making 'Breakfast for Tea' that I should have got a bbq, but then realised that I am pretty shit at frying eggs on the hob let alone a bbq.

Anyway I'll take your chalks and raise you a .... plastic shed.

I too am going shopping tomorrow - it is the first time I have been to a big supermarket since I snuck one in just before BoJo announced all his plans. I am writing a list, and like my Mother I am writing it down in the order the shop goes in, I can therefore only go to Sainsburys as this is the only shop I know the order of. I am even downloading the app so I can scan and bag. No alcohol for me though.

Nothing is washed or quarantined, if a parcel turns up I want to open it there and then. Have been using gloves at the petrol pump but not been for a few weeks - with not going to work I haven't used any petrol - sadly the huge £££ I spend each month on petrol are not being saved instead plunged into frivolous things like skips, new sheds and funky Joseph Joseph ice trays.

Oh and more bloody Match Attax cards for the autistic one.

@Kolo if it made you even slightly happy,more accepting of your situation or excited in any way IT IS NOT IN THE SPIRIT OF THE LOCKDOWN!!

Murderer!

@soupforbrains

Welcome to the BBQ police Hopefully people are having good ones though, can’t be doing with bland sausages on our tasting session

@Kolo, you are doomed to an eternity in Covid hell, gate 19.

You have not only murdered a delivery person, but all those that person have come into contact since, the person who is next using the delivery van and their customers and on, and on, and on.

You are single-handly going to wipe out the entire country...for cream eyeshadow. I hope that the shade is worth it.

(seriously though, which tutorial - I need to actually start wearing the hordes of make up I have)

The only time I have walked through the door and stripped off was when there was a great possibility I had come home from work with some fleas.

I hope my nail varnishes arrive before @Kolo causes the entire delivery network to collapse!

I am hoping that the whole dettol and cleaning everything 50 times post was wind up.

Its not official, Letme it was 'suggested' by one of the gov chaps think he is a Mnetter but its not actually in the guidelines.

if it made you even slightly happy,more accepting of your situation or excited in any way IT IS NOT IN THE SPIRIT OF THE LOCKDOWN!!

That's cleared it up. Nothing that brings me any glimpse of joy whatsoever.

(seriously though, which tutorial - I need to actually start wearing the hordes of make up I have)

Some crap about how not to look like a potato when you're a teacher and having to teach online classes. I can try and hunt for it. I'm not a teacher, nor am I doing online classes or meetings. I'm just very open to suggestion.

@soupforbrains. Fuck knows why it's 3 gloves. Apparently you wear different gloves on different hands to do different shit.

On the plus side, we could all go shopping in teletubbie costumes, singing greensleeves and playing the harmonica and still be able to guarantee we wouldn't look like the most unhinged customer.

I hope my nail varnishes arrive before @Kolo causes the entire delivery network to collapse!

Soz about that.

Am I supporting small business or have I just murdered a delivery person?

If you need to ask you clearly dont understand THE ROOLZ!

which I usually do anyway because DC3 thinks it's his personal teething bar

This reminds me of the "good "old times when DD used to lick the hand rails on the tube.

Luckily we didn't take the tube that often.

The postman only comes once at the moment. Doesn't even ring.

Does he disinfect his package before letting you lose on it?

Hope you have bleached your flaps first Princess

No idea, but since I haven't disinfected my flap either, I can't really judge.

arghgghg Xposted!

@Willow2017 tbh did you even have to ask? If I don't disinfect my chicken I'm not going to disinfect my flaps. Plus the package is always too big to go in anyways