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Original poster

Neighbourhood 'garden parties' under lockdown

88 replies

GardenParties · 31/03/2020 22:16

Some of our neighbours are suggesting we hold 'garden parties' in a few weeks where everyone decorates their houses and then sits in their front gardens having individual tea parties while socialising with their neighbours from a distance.

They've asked for feedback on the residents group but don't seem to want to hear any concerns from the discussion so far. I haven't commented yet and am trying to work out what, if anything, I want to say. Something about it doesn't sit right with me but I am not sure whether I'm being silly. The front gardens are not large and are all completely open plan with no fences or hedges in between. People would be more than 2m apart if they did stay seated in their own gardens, but would people really do this? Would they not wander about to speak with different neighbours and look at their decorations? "Have a piece of our fruitcake," etc? What about young children running around?

And even if people stayed stationary and just had raised voice conversations with their immediate neighbours, is this really within the spirit of lockdown? We've been told to stay at home and not to socialise, haven't we...? Not that it's OK to socialise as long as we stay a few metres from one another.

I would really like to hear other people's thoughts on this, and the reasons behind them.

OP posts:
Original poster
GardenParties · 01/04/2020 08:47

Quickquestion I think a previous person pointed out that there are always people dying, sadly. Lockdown could go on for a long time and I think relaxing and keeping in touch with friends and neighbours is important. It just needs to be safe.

OP posts:
longearedbat · 01/04/2020 08:53

@ZombieFan 'Hopefully the police will be called to break it up'.....'Only go outside for essential travel...'Ah ha! I spy a fully paid up member of the mumsnet stasi. Hate to tell you that I have been outside for hours and hours this past week.
I think some posters on here are actually enjoying being miserable and sitting at home barking their 'instructions' and 'guidance' at other people.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 01/04/2020 08:57

Also just to add, I don't socialise with my neighbours under normal circumstances. So I don't see a reason to start now! But not everyone is the same.

I will however be having a household BBQ when the weather gets nicer.

Random18 · 01/04/2020 08:59

Garden there are not really any grey areas. There are sensible instructions and then there is Mumsnet interpretation of sensible instructions.

Garden is not leaving your house for exercise.

2m social distancing is required when you come into contact with others.

Shielding is different and a different set of rules apply.

I have a social responsibility to follow the govt guidelines and I do.

I do not have a social responsibility to not leave my house so that my next door neighbour who is being shielded does not leave their house. They have their set of instructions and it's their responsibility to follow them (my ndn is not shielded btw)

1forsorrow · 01/04/2020 09:09

It was my GCs birthday last week. He passes our house when taking his exercise, we live close obviously. On his birthday we put a table and chairs in the garden, more than 2m from the house. I put a bag of presents for him on a chair and something for sibling on the other chair. The came into the garden and sat down and chatted to us, we were in the house with windows open. They were there for half an hour. I'm sure some will be horrified but compared to being in shops, workers on public transport the risk must have been so tiny as to be unmeasurable. We all need some happiness, some little thing to enjoy.

It must be possible to stay 2m from neighbours, even if you house is only 4 metres wide, and would any house be smaller than that? So you sit in the middle and even if neighbour comes to the border of your garden they will be 2 metres away and if they are in the middle of their garden you would be 4 metres away.

The govt hasn't said we can't use our gardens from anything I've read.

forrasee · 01/04/2020 09:09

And even if people stayed stationary and just had raised voice conversations with their immediate neighbours, is this really within the spirit of lockdown?

Actually, I think that's exactly the spirit of lockdown.

And OP really We've been told to stay at home and not to socialise, haven't we... You've been told not to out and meet with friends, not that you can't talk to people! This is no different from phoning your neighbour or talking over the garden fence from afar. You are staying at home.

cat0281 · 01/04/2020 09:31

I think the issue here is that it is fine IF people stick to the 2 metre rule. But there is clearly a risk if people are having a party that the 2 metre rule won't be strictly adhered to and OP clearly mentioned that there are no fences between them. I have seen people talking to each other in the street starting off clearly trying to keep a distance but getting closer as the conversation goes on then e.g. showing each other something on their phone briefly before stepping back again. Yes the risk of this kind of interaction would be minimal but if it is happening a lot it adds up.

I personally just want this horror to be over as quickly as possible. I want people to strictly interpret the rules so the lockdown can be lifted asap. If people start interpreting the rules loosely I worry we could be in this situation for a long time. It's very hard for any of us to know how far a respiratory droplet can travel in the air or how far 2 metres is without getting out a tape measure.

OP - the example I gave was the weekend pre-strict lockdown but after we had been told to stop non-essential social interaction. When the party was suggested we said we didn't think it was a good idea but the neighbours said it was fine if they kept 2 metres apart (which as mentioned above, they didn't despite intending to).

MoltonSilver · 01/04/2020 09:39

Its nice that they want to do something positive and nice to keep busy now by planning something but, given what the next few weeks are likely to bring, I don't think that anyone will feel like having a party. It will seem crass. Do it this week and do it from your back gardens or don't do it at all.

Milicentbystander72 · 01/04/2020 09:40

There's bee lots if examples shown on tv and sm of people doing neighbourhood Zumba classes or dancing. Each person stays in the garden or on their porch etc.
Even the Italians singing to each other on their balconies. Why is this different?

1forsorrow · 01/04/2020 09:51

Even the Italians singing to each other on their balconies. Why is this different? Because the spirit of Oliver Cromwell and the Puritans lives on. It is important to be miserable and even more important to make sure other people are miserable.

1forsorrow · 01/04/2020 10:01

BBC just showed a video of people singing and dancing to the BeeGees in their front garden. It wasn't to shame them, no criticism. I think it has the BBC stamp of approval.

cat0281 · 01/04/2020 10:09

@MoltonSilver - I agree, it seems odd to have a party in the middle of a national crisis

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 01/04/2020 10:25

I agree, it seems odd to have a party in the middle of a national crisis

Why?

Random18 · 01/04/2020 10:28

cat I would have thought neighbours supporting each other is exactly what we want in a national crisis.

This is exactly what we want as long as social distancing is followed.

OP is lucky to have neighbours like this. They may even hold a party when Op moves out.......

1forsorrow · 01/04/2020 10:29

People keep comparing it to WWII, people danced and sang and partied in WWII, so can we but just need to keep a distance.

moonfacebaby · 01/04/2020 10:39

I’d be nervous about this - if booze is involved, that’s where there’s potential for the 2m distance thing to go out of the window.

People referencing balconies here - that’s fine. You can’t actually move off them so it enforces distancing. Open gardens, combined with alcohol - will everyone really stick to the 2m thing?

cat0281 · 01/04/2020 10:55

moonfacebaby - I agree about alcohol making it harder to stick to 2 metre rule. That was the issue with the party on my street.

So many people are being affected by this crisis there could easily be someone in the street who has a relative ill/in hospital or who has passed away. I think it's a bit insensitive, but that's just me, I understand many would disagree. I am planning a party for when this is all over though.

GranolaBars · 01/04/2020 11:52

We did something similar on my street and it was lovely. We all controlled our children as we do every other day, and they all stayed in their own front gardens. Those who needed to stay more isolated or had no interest simply stayed in their homes. We did not need to be shielded from the “risk of temptation” to share food or get closer as we are grownups with brains.

jomaIone · 01/04/2020 13:21

@quickquestion2020

Do you not think people have always got sad things in their life? There are always people dying and scared in hospital, people having a terrible time and it doesn't normally stop everyone enjoying themselves if they're not directly affected and often if they are cause it's nice to have a good time in spite of the awfulness of your situation.

It's because it's everywhere you look that you can't get your mind off it. I'm sorry but I can't be miserable every second of the day because people I don't know are suffering and dying. Yes I feel terrible for them, yes I have so much empathy for anyone affected but it's not at the forefront of my mind 24/7 as I would drive myself mad.

Is this different from using Skype and HouseParty to have a virtual pub quiz with your pals??

Original poster
GardenParties · 01/04/2020 17:12

OP is lucky to have neighbours like this. They may even hold a party when Op moves out..

Random I think that's quite rude and I don't understand why you want to be so hurtful. Has it offended you that I've asked whether people's opinions on whether this is safe or not? I've not done anything to stop the party or said anything to the organisers. I'm reading people's answers and trying to get a balanced view on whether it's a good idea for this to happen and whether my anxieties are justified or not. In what way does that make me an unpleasant neighbour who people would be glad to see the back of?

OP posts:
ZombieFan · 01/04/2020 18:46

Why does it have to be a party? A couple of neighbours standing in their doorways talking is completely different to a whole street, without walls or fences getting together for a 2 hour party (with the 'intention' of staying 2m away).

2 joggers passing each other at 2m is 'probably' safe. Dozens of people shouting at each other for hours at 2m is 'probably' not safe.

This is an outside gathering, whether or not some are technically within their own house boundaries. Maybe in a laboratory the virus only travels 2m but what is the wind blows it 3m or more? What is one person cant hear what another person has said and walks past everyone to get closer. What if a postman needs to walk down the street?

I think it is very unsafe and unnecessary, their are plenty of safer ways for neighbours to talk to each other.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/04/2020 18:56

But "not in the spirit of lockdown"??? - what is the "spirit of lockdown"? Misery?

Yep, according to many on MN. I was talking to my neighbour in the garden the other day. We made sure we had the length of a couple of fence panels between us so what's the harm?

ScrambledSmegs · 01/04/2020 19:05

But "not in the spirit of lockdown"??? - what is the "spirit of lockdown"? Misery?

I've seen a lot of this sort of thing all over Facebook as well as on MN, its like we all have to suffer to be 'doing' lockdown right.

1forsorrow · 01/04/2020 19:10

We all need a bit of joy whatever it is. I'm making a lemon meringue pie this evening, it is a favourite in my house. So that is my joy for today.

Runmybathforme · 01/04/2020 19:13

Sounds like a great idea, if everyone doesn’t get pissed and start wandering about. Which they will.

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