Neighbourhood 'garden parties' under lockdown

[GardenParties]

Some of our neighbours are suggesting we hold 'garden parties' in a few weeks where everyone decorates their houses and then sits in their front gardens having individual tea parties while socialising with their neighbours from a distance.

They've asked for feedback on the residents group but don't seem to want to hear any concerns from the discussion so far. I haven't commented yet and am trying to work out what, if anything, I want to say. Something about it doesn't sit right with me but I am not sure whether I'm being silly. The front gardens are not large and are all completely open plan with no fences or hedges in between. People would be more than 2m apart if they did stay seated in their own gardens, but would people really do this? Would they not wander about to speak with different neighbours and look at their decorations? "Have a piece of our fruitcake," etc? What about young children running around?

And even if people stayed stationary and just had raised voice conversations with their immediate neighbours, is this really within the spirit of lockdown? We've been told to stay at home and not to socialise, haven't we...? Not that it's OK to socialise as long as we stay a few metres from one another.

I would really like to hear other people's thoughts on this, and the reasons behind them.

Interesting that we've heard from two posters who have had this happen in their street. In one case it just ended up as a big gathering with no social distancing at all, in the other case everyone stayed in their gardens and it was all very civilised. I guess it might depend on the demographic of your neighbourhood.

Thanks for everyone who has shared thoughts. There's (understandably) a wide difference of opinion whereas I was hoping for a consensus which could give me a concrete answer. I guess this shows how thorny certain issues around lockdown can be. I've seen lots of arguments on MN about this kind of situation with both sides certain that they are right. Personally, I was hoping to learn from other people's experiences and discussion but it's tricky to know what to learn from this except that people don't agree.

I do think it is a shame that some people have assumed because I am worried about whether this is safe, that I am a joyless and mean person and think everyone should be being miserable the whole time. They've twisted what I was originally asking and put some unkind motives onto it.

Oh ffs

Which demographics would you suggest it’s ok for?

I have the shielded letter due to work btw. The only thing it says when you are in your garden is stay 2m away. Nothing about length of time.

Can we all stop making up more rules to add to the frenzy of misery and just do what we are flipping asked to. If we need to go into further tightening of measures WE WILL BE TOLD.

Tbh if it is all a big communal garden with no natural separation i.e. fences or hedges odds are mingling will happen.

However "not in the spirit of lockdown " is not and should never be something by which we judge actions and interpret guidance. Things are hard and miserable enough for everyone without berating people for any joy,fun or harmless mischief (choc egg anyone) they might get up to because it's not in the "spirit".

I give up trying to clarify what i meant by the spirit of lockdown as people are obviously not reading further posts. Seems to make it hard to have a discussion tbh...

RJnomore you seem really angry about this. I'm sorry you feel there's a frenzy of misery. I'm just trying to stay safe and keep those around me safe. It is worrying at times but hopefully doesn't need to be misery.

I've read your clarification.. I kinda get it. However , posters after you agreed it's not in the spirit because fun when the world is suffering/dying/burning.

It might've not been your meaning your intention but quite a few posters,even the ones on your "side" took it like that and ran with it.

Sounds like a good morale boosting idea to me. It's physical distancing not complete avoidance of socialising. If everyone is 2m apart it will be fine and might just stop you all going mad. If you don't want to do it yourself, just don't.

GardenParties - just to be a voice of support, I totally understand your intention and know it's nothing to do with being joyless or miserable. I don't think I am joyless or miserable either! You aren't alone in thinking this way. It's interesting to see different opinions and I wanted to let you know what my experience of a similar scenario had been. It does seem to be a very thorny issue that gets people very worked up though. Unfortunately I don't think there is a concrete answer or any chance everyone will agree on one approach.

It's nice idea but if people have kids, how are they going to keep them from running around and mingling?

You just say ‘stay in the garden’ and catch them with the evil eye when they look like they might disobey. If they can’t do that come up with your usual plan for managing your own kids.

I don't see an issue with this really..unless all will be congregating in one garden or something, but it seems not. Me and DH were actually considering offering something like this round here..we are surrounded mainly by older people who seem really down, we have a professional karaoke system in the spare room that we could set up downstairs and open door...was tempting, and still is but I don't dare ask incase some bite my head off or something. Might be a bit of an issue as people wont be able to read screen though..as then would need to be in our house/yard. But..I assume most have a karaoke song they know by heart anyway

So torn on it really. Prob won't do it in the end. Also an issue is, we couldn't realistically do it if even one person said no..as its not exactly fair on them if we did.

Also social distancing does not equal do not socialize..just be smart about it.

And even if people stayed stationary and just had raised voice conversations with their immediate neighbours, is this really within the spirit of lockdown?

I don't know what you mean by this really. Yeah, some people are dying, and its sad. But others can still want a bit of fun and happiness at dire times like this. I figure, if you can make someone happier on lockdown its a good thing, people will get bored a little slower if theres stuff to actually do..

Also apologies..I missed the clarification of what you means about the spirit. I still think aslong as people are sensible, it will be fine. If you have people in the street likely to behave like arseholes and get pissed and dive around in other peoples gardens, there might be problems though!

no, i agree with you OP.
and i think we should all try to stay within the spirit of the rules.
they are for survival.
and some here have not taken in that these are not enclosed front gardens, but just an open area in front of each house. very difficult for children to recognise invisible boundaries, equals too stressful for you or other responsible neighbours. you are right, keep the faith.

I find people's confidence that the 2m guideline will somehow protect them surprising.

It's like wearing seat belts when you drive.

Hugely reduces your chance of dying if you have a car crash, but doesn't reduce it to zero. Only way to do that is to never get in a car - but cars are really useful, so on balance of utility vs risk most people will drive with their seat belt. Similarly, most people will decide that getting out to buy essentials and maintain health through exercise is worth the risk, so long as they stay 2m away from people (wear their seat belt).

But you can drive safely or in dangerous situations. You're more likely to die in a car crash (even wearing your seat belt) if you're a) driving cross-country on narrow, twisty roads on a dark, rainy night rather than b) taking a short drive through suburban streets to the shop at 2pm.

Both are legal, but it's obvious that they're different, and you'll make your own judgement call about whether the more dangerous trip is advisable, maybe depending on whether the trip is to visit a sick relative (I'd risk it, but drive carefully) or to pick up a book from a friend (nah, I'll stay at home).

Similarly, you're much more likely to catch/spread the virus (even staying 2m from people) if you a) have a garden party over several hours where people move around admiring decorations and chatting in groups rather than b) go for a walk by yourself, occasionally passing others for a few seconds

It's OK to decide that the garden party is too risky for you. It's also OK to raise the risk with others, just like I'd ask my friend whether she really needs to make that cross-country drive on a dark rainy night, or whether it can wait until tomorrow. (Imagine how I'd feel if I was too embarrassed to ask her and then she crashed)

Tldr; there's nothing magic about 2m. We've been given a guideline, which is a best guess to reduce risk (based on limited information from the 3 months the virus has existed) but we still need to use our own brains and judgement.