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Original poster

Neighbourhood 'garden parties' under lockdown

88 replies

GardenParties · 31/03/2020 22:16

Some of our neighbours are suggesting we hold 'garden parties' in a few weeks where everyone decorates their houses and then sits in their front gardens having individual tea parties while socialising with their neighbours from a distance.

They've asked for feedback on the residents group but don't seem to want to hear any concerns from the discussion so far. I haven't commented yet and am trying to work out what, if anything, I want to say. Something about it doesn't sit right with me but I am not sure whether I'm being silly. The front gardens are not large and are all completely open plan with no fences or hedges in between. People would be more than 2m apart if they did stay seated in their own gardens, but would people really do this? Would they not wander about to speak with different neighbours and look at their decorations? "Have a piece of our fruitcake," etc? What about young children running around?

And even if people stayed stationary and just had raised voice conversations with their immediate neighbours, is this really within the spirit of lockdown? We've been told to stay at home and not to socialise, haven't we...? Not that it's OK to socialise as long as we stay a few metres from one another.

I would really like to hear other people's thoughts on this, and the reasons behind them.

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 31/03/2020 22:18

Think it sounds like a nice idea, just stay in your own gardens and consume your own stuff. What’s the problem?

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 22:23

As I said, I'm not sure quite what is bothering me, but I think it has the potential to lead to types of social contact which are unsafe. If you're decorating your houses, surely that implies people are going to be walking around looking at them during the event? So quite a lot of moving about from house to house and chatting with different people. I thought this was strongly discouraged under the current guidelines. The advice isn't, "Go and see your friends and family as long as you stay in the garden at a distance." Is it? Or is that absolutely fine and I've misunderstood "Stay at home and don't socialise?"

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PickAChew · 31/03/2020 22:24

It's nice idea but if people have kids, how are they going to keep them from running around and mingling?

ErrolTheDragon · 31/03/2020 22:24

Socialising at a distance seems to fit with the concept of 'social distancing' - but obviously only if everyone (inc kids) maintains their distance. You are staying at home, you're not doing unnecessary travel.

Coughisoff · 31/03/2020 22:34

Until someone sneezes and that 26 foot away thing drops up.....I’d probably not be inclined to do it. But then I’m enjoying isolation a bit too much atm xx

SquishySquirmy · 31/03/2020 22:34

I think you need to be careful what you are objecting to.
Concerns that it may encourage risky behaviour or complacency - fair enough.

But "not in the spirit of lockdown"??? - what is the "spirit of lockdown"? Misery? If people can find a way to make it more pleasant WITHOUT increasing the risk, this is a great thing. Like the footage from other countries of people on their balcony singing together, or people on doorsteps clapping the NHS. These could be said to be "not in the spirit of lockdown" but they are within the rules and they are safe.

I think raising questions of how to make it safe and pointing out specific risks and suggesting ways to mitigate against them is the best way to handle it (off the top of my head maybe an agreement not to approach fences, set the minimum distance at more than 2m etc).

AnneElliott · 31/03/2020 22:37

I think it sounds fine. If everyone stays in their own garden then where is the harm?

Iggly · 31/03/2020 22:38

I would only worry about kids running about. I’m twitchy about my kids when we go for walks as they love running around so we have to stop that.

I think the principle is otherwise ok. Although evidence that the 2 metre distance thing isn’t big enough as it is

Heronwatcher · 31/03/2020 22:39

It is absolutely 100% fine to socialise from more than 2m, I don’t know where you got the idea from that it isn’t! We’ve done “gin by the bin” in my street and it was brilliant! Please actively encourage it- we are far more likely to survive lockdown over a longer period if people do things like this.

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 22:48

"not in the spirit of lockdown"
I think I meant by this that it is obeying the letter but not the spirit of the guidance / legislation we've been given. For instance, as I understand it, there's no legislation that says you can't leave your house several times a day to go for a walk and get some fresh air. But I think most of us would agree that this is not really following what's intended. That's what I meant by 'the spirit of lockdown'.

It is absolutely 100% fine to socialise from more than 2m, I don’t know where you got the idea from that it isn’t!
Because we've been told really quite clearly to only leave the house for essential purposes: shopping, medical care, or exercise. Socialising, even from a distance, doesn't fall under any of those categories. I got the idea directly from the government advice we've all been given.

Like the footage from other countries of people on their balcony singing together, or people on doorsteps clapping the NHS. That's a really good point because I don't feel those are risky or a problem. Possibly because they are brief? And clearly defined boundaries, e.g. your balcony or doorstep? The garden parties / house decorating sounds like it will last a couple of hours and involve wandering around the neighbourhood.

Thanks to everyone for different opinions and reasonings, which are really helpful. Posts like "What is the problem?" are not so helpful because that's what I'm trying to work out...

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Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 22:51

Although evidence that the 2 metre distance thing isn’t big enough as it is
well yes. I agree. I thought the 2m thing was the bare minimum for safety if you had to walk directly past someone or be in close contact with them for a short period, for instance at a till. I didn't think it meant you're fine to be around others for long periods as long as you respect this distance. Otherwise we could all visit family etc as long as we stayed 6 feet away.

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Astressie · 31/03/2020 22:57

Seems a bit bonkers to me. Is it not the fact that it is too risky - may have to keep telling children/ neighbours etc not to come too close. Could end in tears/ arguments!! Is it not possible to do something online as a group video or something- perhaps pub quiz style. Sounds like they are quite creative. Could they think of something else to do as a community that's not as risky.

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 23:01

It is creative isn't it and I don't want to be a wet blanket if I can avoid it! But it does seem risky to me, yes. I wasn't sure if I was being over-anxious, though; stress levels are running fairly high this week and from looking at other threads, I'm not the only one fixating on other people's behaviour.

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Astressie · 31/03/2020 23:05

I don't think you're fixating. It would make me feel very uncomfortable. You could suggest other options in a nice way that could still help lift community spirit. For me personally, I would die if my neighbours suggested anything like this. But I'm an unsociable bugger!

thegcatsmother · 31/03/2020 23:06

Because we've been told really quite clearly to only leave the house for essential purposes: shopping, medical care, or exercise.

Dh has been outside cleaning the windows, puting the cars on trickle charge and tinkering with his car. As he is at least 2m from anyone, apart from when I take him out a cuppa, I fail to see why we can't be within the bounds of our property, yet outside the house. Should I not hang the washing out?

IpeartreeI · 31/03/2020 23:08

The people in my area were planning a street disco last week, but I don't know whether or not it went ahead. They were combining it with the clapping thing.

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 23:09

Should I not hang the washing out?
I would say doing your laundry is an essential part of family life. I don't see how that compares to arranging to meet with neighbours for an extended period?

Astressie does it make you uncomfortable because of the social aspect or because you think it's unsafe in the current climate?

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blue25 · 31/03/2020 23:11

Ugh I couldn’t be doing with that. It just seems inappropriate. People around the country are gasping for breath and dying horrible deaths.

Why does that warrant a garden party?

jomaIone · 31/03/2020 23:12

Lockdown does not have to equal social isolation and misery. As long as you're 2 metres apart and not sharing food or drinks them there is no concern here. If you're all in your own gardens you're not breaking any rules.

BilboBercow · 31/03/2020 23:15

People seem to object in some way to others being anything but miserable during lockdown.
People can still sit in their garden and chat to their neighbours. There's nothing in the letter OR the spirit of the rules which says otherwise.
If you don't fancy it or don't feel safe then don't take part.

MeadowHay · 31/03/2020 23:17

blue What? People are dying horrible deaths and gasping for breaths every. single. day. Every day there is unimaginable horror going on, in this country and in others. Do you never do anything fun because you're similarly concerned with the fate of all of the other people who are suffering for reasons that aren't covid-related?

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 23:19

People seem to object in some way to others being anything but miserable during lockdown.

I think that might be true in some situations but I don't think it's anything to do with what's bothering me. I've been actively seeking out fun things to do for myself and others. But not in a real life physical gathering.

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maddy68 · 31/03/2020 23:22

I like the idea. Everyone in their front gardens so socialising but not great idea. except mine would have wine

Original poster
GardenParties · 31/03/2020 23:27

It's really good to hear different thoughts about this. Specific reasoning is especially helpful, thank you.

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