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Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 17:01

What she wants doesn't trump social responsibility.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:05

I’d go & get her. It’s scary times & she wants to be with her family

She's 24, not 15!

Shall I go and get my two from London then? Should my DSS fly home from Spain? Should all my DCs friends go to their family homes too?
What makes the OPs DD different from all the others?

We have just been on a competition online with my DDs and their friends. Probably 15 of them. And lots of parents like us. All the DCs are staying put because they know it's the right thing to do.

Inappropriatefemale · 29/03/2020 17:06

If I was her then I too would want to be with my family and I think you should definitely get her, who knows what could happen, imo it’s essential that your DD is with her family, she’s also young and may be worrying a lot and I always find that it’s a comfort to be with folks in time of worry.

ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 17:13

It isn't essential. She's 24 and chose to stay put until now.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 29/03/2020 17:16

I would go pick her up because I would be afraid she got seriously ill in her flat with no one to help her - calling for medical help/giving paracetamol and water to control temperature etc
She is an adult not a child who needs looking after. I live alone, as do many many others. If I get ill there will be nobody here to help me, to call for medical help or give me paracetamol and water. Should I travel hundreds of miles across the country to be with family? I will look after myself if I get ill, as I have done for the last 28 years. I will let friends who live nearby know that I am not well, I will either call for medical help myself, or ask my friends to do so if they are unable to make contact with me.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2020 17:18

I live alone too Richard and I have to say I'm a bit scared of what would happen if I couldn't get out of bed to get myself some water. Friends wouldn't be able to come in to help.

Inappropriatefemale · 29/03/2020 17:20

Your DH can just wait in the car and she can run down. You obviously trust your DD when she says she hasn’t been near anybody since all this kicked off, and you know that you’re DH hasn’t either so I don’t see the issue, yes we aren’t meant to do non essential travelling but a parent collecting their DD, no matter her age, is essential imo, screw what others say, I think as a parent then you would have to be pretty cold hearted not to get her after she has asked you to do just that!

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:22

If I was her then I too would want to be with my family and I think you should definitely get her, who knows what could happen, imo it’s essential that your DD is with her family, she’s also young and may be worrying a lot and I always find that it’s a comfort to be with folks in time of worry

I give up. This view is pathtic. Should all families move into one house together then? What age should 'children' who are adults move back with their parents? What about the parents being older and getting infected?
I've always hated the term 'snowflake generation' but this is honestly sounding like this. She is 24. Not 12. Not 16.

ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 17:22

I live alone too and it is a concern. The OP's daughter is in a shared house though.

We just have to be responsible and not find excuses to disregard the guidelines as so many here are advocating.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 17:22

If I was her then I too would want to be with my family

And what would make you an exception to the rules laid down to minimise the so read and therefore deaths from this virus?

RichardMarxisinnocent · 29/03/2020 17:23

I live alone too Richard and I have to say I'm a bit scared of what would happen if I couldn't get out of bed to get myself some water. Friends wouldn't be able to come in to help.
I can understand that. I think if you were so unwell that you couldn't get out of bed to get water for an extended length of time, you would be unwell enough to justify calling for medical help, or asking friends to get medical help for you.

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 17:23

I am hoping that some posters on here are being deliberately goady and that their responses don't reflect the attitude of society as a whole. It paints a very grim picture if so. The number of people who seem oblivious to the rules or else think they can interpret them to suit themselves is truly breathtaking and very frightening.

As the police are now doing random spot checks on people in cars to ask the purpose of their journey, what will your dd say Tinkleylittlelaugh if she is pulled over and asked if her trip is essential? Will she say, "well, I was going a bit crazy with lack of social contact so I thought I'd go home to mum". I wonder what their response will be.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:24

You obviously trust your DD when she says she hasn’t been near anybody since all this kicked off

Yes she has. She's been to shops and other places. What about her flatmates?
What if they are asymptomatic?

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 17:24

yes we aren’t meant to do non essential travelling but a parent collecting their DD, no matter her age, is essential imo, screw what others say

Ffs.

10,000 deaths in Italy.

Do you understand how those came about? Hmm

Do you think the UK is somehow immune to all this?

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 17:26

yes we aren’t meant to do non essential travelling but a parent collecting their DD, no matter her age, is essential imo, screw what others say

I think you just mean 'screw others'?

ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 17:27

We're a selfish society and so many posters here think the rules don't apply to them and their families. Unless they are punished for not complying they won't do the socially responsible thing.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 17:28

It is staggering to see how little people care about others dying.

Inappropriatefemale · 29/03/2020 17:28

24 may not be a child but it’s a very young adult, she has been careful as has her dad, so as much as it may be breaking the rules then sometimes your heart wins over your head.

Let’s not go crazy atm, if we hear from the OP that somebody got CV through DD being picked up then we can all go nuts.

Nobody is getting put at risk in this situation except the OP and her family, and that’s their choice, it’s not affecting the public.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:31

I am hoping that some posters on here are being deliberately goady and that their responses don't reflect the attitude of society as a whole. It paints a very grim picture if so. The number of people who seem oblivious to the rules or else think they can interpret them to suit themselves is truly breathtaking and very frightening

Totally agree. I am shocked. The people I have contact with... family, DCs, neighbours, friends. Every single one of them is adhering to the rules. My bestfriend's mother is 84. BF gets her shopping, takes it round, has a cup of tea in the garden and talks through the window. The only time I see anyone is when I have to go to a supermarket, but I doubt I have been closer than 6ft to anybody in weeks. I'm taking this seriously for our health. And for others.

This thread has been an eye opener. I never realised there were so many people out there who were happy to disregard the guidance. When Chris Whitty said 'you staying at home and not going out saves a life or lives' really hit home to me.
How it didn't to the 100 posters on here who are happy to ignore that god alone knows.

NoSauce · 29/03/2020 17:31

Your DH can just wait in the car and she can run down. You obviously trust your DD when she says she hasn’t been near anybody since all this kicked off, and you know that you’re DH hasn’t either so I don’t see the issue, yes we aren’t meant to do non essential travelling but a parent collecting their DD, no matter her age, is essential imo, screw what others say, I think as a parent then you would have to be pretty cold hearted not to get her after she has asked you to do just that

No matter what their age? Jesus wept.

Inappropriatefemale · 29/03/2020 17:32

No I mean screw the replies on MN that are in disagreement, who exactly is at risk when a man is getting into a car to pick up his daughter? Nobody except them and then the rest of OPs family, she is aware of the risks and they aren’t putting the public at risk.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:32

Nobody is getting put at risk in this situation except the OP and her family, and that’s their choice, it’s not affecting the public

So they want stop at a service station between London and North Yorkshire. Okaaaay...

Roussette · 29/03/2020 17:34

and they aren’t putting the public at risk

Yes they are.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 17:34

Let’s not go crazy atm, if we hear from the OP that somebody got CV through DD being picked up then we can all go nuts.

It would be too late then Hmm

Nobody is getting put at risk in this situation except the OP and her family

That’s pure bollocks and you know it.

DD may have it, not be showing symptoms yet, but eventually require medical care, putting nhs workers and resources under pressure in an ill equipped area.

DD or DH could infect someone in an inevitable stop off along the way.

DD could be an asymptomatic carrier and infect am area that was CV free.

The point is that NO ONE KNOWS. they’ve been told no non essential journeys for a reason.

ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 17:35

To say that no one is being put at risk is breathtakingly thoughtless.