Daughter 24 wants to come home

[AinJD]

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

@Mittens030869 I know that! No problem at all !

My DD may well have had it... she hasn't been tested and until they bring out the retrospective test, she just won't know.

I've heard the fatigue is awful, do hope yours improves soon

Don't worry Frankie you're on the list of one of the 92 who thinks it's OK to break the rules.

Do come back in 3 weeks when the peak is being reached and tell us how it was OK to ignore rules and travel from south to North and justify it then..

I'll wait for the police knock at the door.

Id get her.

I live in Ireland and I am surprised at the number of people who can't see the harm in going for a drive because:

We're going to a deserted beach where we won't meet anyone

or

We won't be getting out of the car. We're just literally going for a drive.

They don't seem to understand that the less cars on the road, the less likelihood of breakdowns, collisions, flat tyre etc that will bring people unnecessarily into contact with each other. Not to mention taking up hospital resources that really can't be spared at the moment.

Not to mention having to top up petrol, loo stops and so on.

Noone has to come back and justify anything to a bunch of posters on MN

If you break the law you might have to justify yourself to the police or courts but noone else!

Look I was one of the early posters who said the OP shouldn't go. I wrote quite a big post on page 3 (I think) if you don't believe me. I still don't think the OP should go.

But good grief the meal some of you are making of this is totally unreal.

I'll wait for the police knock at the door.

Expect judgement from your social circle too.

Don't be stupid Frankie

But I will be interested on your take on it when we reach Spain levels. How your justification works, that is.

We're talking mid April, see you then

BuzzingtheBee
You're another 'let's break the rules because it's my family' brigade then.

93

More than 10,000 deaths in Italy now I see.

Where this kind of behaviour had a big impact.

Yes the fatigue really is awful. I've never been so unwell in my life before. I think the mistake was saying that this would be a 'mild illness' for the vast majority of people. 'Mild illness' doesn't mean it will just be a common cold.

Lockheart of course they won't come back, I know that!

I still wouldn't mind knowing what is going through their minds then though.

I'm making a meal of it. Yep. Guilty as charged. But 93 posters telling the OP to break the rules and travel from London to North Yorks is pretty gobsmacking AFAIC. And it should be called out.

Mittens Is it like the worst type of flu? The fatigue that is...
It sounds pretty horrible.

My social circle would think that someone keeping a spreadsheet about posters on the internet was a little crazy.

South Korea has apparently been tracking mobile phones so that they can do contact tracing.

Should do that here so that the government can know who the selfish twats are that think it's fine to exploit the guidelines for their own benefit.

My social circle would think that someone keeping a spreadsheet about posters on the internet was a little crazy.

I’m sure.

Not endangering lives though, so there is that.

My social circle would think that someone keeping a spreadsheet about posters on the internet was a little crazy

Of course they would. They’re the type I guess that would be breaking the lockdown rules to suit themselves too. Fucking dimwits.

Good for your social circle!

@Roussette

Yes that's right. It's like the flu I had last year that developed into pneumonia and nearly led to me being hospitalised. But it's much worse because of the nausea and non stop sputum at times. It makes sleep difficult at night.

Not to mention all the coughing, which doesn't bring any of the sputum up, I have to force it out. It's thoroughly draining.

It could still be pneumonia or bronchitis but that doesn't explain or another virus, but it doesn't explain the nausea or the excess sputum which blocks my airways at times.

My DD is 19 and a First year student nurse. Most of her fellow students were sent home a while ago but the student nurses carried on their placements until the end of last week when all were cancelled.

She’s been in her room in Halls since then. She suffers from anxiety and has been very up and down. She wanted to come home but I’ve been working flat out so couldn’t get her until the weekend, I suggested the train but by then she was in too much of a state to cope with this. DH is unable to leave the house for 12 weeks and is extremely vulnerable, we initially thought she’d have to stay at Uni an hour away but as her mental health declined he decided the risk to her outweighed the risk to him.

I got her yesterday, she knows she has to self isolate for 14 days. Her food is being delivered to her room and she’s allowed out to use the bathroom only.

I’m not able to stay at home or socially distance due to my job, I’m exposed to direct contact with new people everyday so haven’t been within 2m of DH for over a week. As the number of Covid patients in the community increases and the chance of me coming across it increases I’ll have to move out so having DD home to be able to help look after DH after her 14 days will be a godsend.

I’m not able to comment on the OP’s situation as I don’t know enough about it but this is a time of great uncertainty with difficult decisions having to be made, yes there are some ignorant piss-takers out there but there are also a lot of people with too much time on their hands rushing in a bit too quickly to sit in judgment on others.

Medievalist If my daughter has been on her own, without symptoms for two weeks, then I think the risk of having her home is negligible.

At the start of this crises, we thought about her moving home and going out to work from our home every day. That would have been much more likely to infect our family, but would have been perfectly acceptable under the rules.

@Frankiecandle

There's no 'keeping a spreadsheet' it's an existing tool for extracting the number of instances of words and phrases from academic documents which I use for work. It took less than 1 minute to copy, paste and click 'run' on my VBA tool.

I frankly don't give a shit about anyone's 'social circle'. Especially one which would encourage recklessness in this time of crisis where we still all have the opportunity to act in the best interests of everyone, not just ourselves.

I never thought that I would agree with mobile phone tracking. I don't do it with my DH and neither of us would dream of tracking each other.

But if my DH who is fit, healthy, active and working gets sick enough to need a ventilator he may be denied it because he is over 70. He has done what has been asked and has not left the house for over 2 weeks. I'm absolutely worried sick about it and terrified of him getting ill.

If it could be identified by mobile phone tracking that the OP's husband and daughter had chosen to travel several hundred miles despite it not being an essential journey then I feel angry that if they needed it they might be given ventilation ahead of others who might also need it.

I know that makes me selfish, and I'm surprised at how strongly I feel about it. But people really need to look at the numbers in Spain and Italy as a wake up call and stay at home.

One of my former colleagues lost her father last week without being able to say goodbye. He self isolated as soon as he developed symptoms and the hospital think he may have protected his wife as so far she is well.
Another former colleague has lost her best friend who was a bridesmaid at her wedding just a few months ago.
I have no time whatsoever for anyone who seems to think the rules can be adapted to suit their family.

@Highonpotandused .. and?

Don't agree. Neither my two DCs in London shop daily for food. Weekly or less. So that is not true. Absolutely not.

Might depend where in London they are. And whether they have a car and shop with that. Round here, without public transport, you have a local shop about 10 minutes away that stocks certain things, and other shops about a 35-40 minute walk away (two stops by bus, but I assume no-one is using that) with most of what one needs - meat in one shop, fish in another, groceries in another. The nearest large supermarket is 50 minutes walk, and I can't carry much back with that distance. Then there is the tube that will get you to more shops, but I am not taking that. There is only so much one can carry from the local shop (milk is very heavy), and it is even worse the further away one has to go, and so I am finding I am having to go out at least 4 times a week if not more, to shop. For the last 20 years or so we have used Tescos online, but they have no slots available, so for the first time in years I am walking to the shops on an almost daily basis.
But even if your DC were managing to only shop once a week (presumably they can survive on two cartons of milk a week and two potatoes - remember the amounts are limited) - between now and June they are likely to have made dozens and dozens of journeys. And for each of those journeys, there is a good chance they are infecting others. If one move eliminated those journeys, then we have minimised the risks. When people talk about not mixing households, they mean meeting and then seperating back into separate households. This is a once off risk that will then save lots of future risks. This is making one household out of two, and then staying that way. The question here really is, are we talking about the letter of the law, or the spirit of it, which will actually minimise risk. This is classic case where keeping to the letter of the law will actually likely violate the spirit of it, ie minimising risks to strangers. It is not without its own risk, but balancing those risks with the risks of shopping in Lndon between now and June suggest that those risks may be the least risky course. It is not the same as other cases where there is no minimisation of risk when breaking the letter of the law.