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Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:
CleansUpPenguinPoo · 29/03/2020 11:25

I think some people are enjoying the opportunity to be bossy and unpleasant.

I think eveyone is very stressed and worried in this unprecedented situation in which we find ourselves. Therefore not surprising there are strong opinions when some people say idiotic things or appear to want to act in a potentially dangerous way.

Picking my words carefully!

My OH has COPD and a severe heart condition and we live in London in an area with high CV19 - we're not going out at all, community volunteers are bringing us food and meds and I've cancelled a much needed dental appointment to keep him safe, so please obey the rules everyone, they apply to you too! Do not go out except for ESSENTIALS. Nurses, thank you for looking after us but the rules apply to you too, maybe more than to others. Thank you.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 11:27

As the cost of this epidemic (and the measures required to deal with it) are so very high, there will be genuine anger towards those who haven’t behaved responsibly.

People need to be prepared for that.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 11:27

I know the words in the ‘law’ are loose and create a lot of grey area, but I, and I alone am able to define what is and isn’t an essential journey

Hello, Chris Whitty, is that you?

Didn't realise we had the Chief Medical Officer on here

DowntownAbby · 29/03/2020 11:28

@NoSauce

To those of you that said “ go and get your girl “ have a think on. FFS.

You're wasting your time. We all are. They don't give a shit.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 11:31

@Medievalist

Ditto here. One was poorly for a few days, no idea if it was CV. The other... her boyfriend had high temp and cough, again it didn't last long. She hasn't seen him since. He lives with his parents 20 minutes away, one parent has underlying health issues, too much of a risk for them to see each other.

africansassenach · 29/03/2020 11:31

So you pick her and she isolates at home? After being in the car journey with her anyway? Clever it isn't.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 11:32

Do you think you should perhaps take a break from Mumsnet for your own wellbeing. You're lashing out left and right which must be causing you stress and you're probably causing others distress.

Oh good. The thread police have arrived. 🙄

Roussette · 29/03/2020 11:33

@LaurieMarlow
As the cost of this epidemic (and the measures required to deal with it) are so very high, there will be genuine anger towards those who haven’t behaved responsibly

Yes. I think we're being remarkably restrained on here to be honest. If my walk in the fields gets stopped because of selfish people who think the rules don't apply to their families, I might not be so restrained.

However, after 16 or is it 17 years on here, I have not yet had a post deleted. This scenario might make up for that Grin

goldpartyhat · 29/03/2020 11:44

I'd get her

Roussette · 29/03/2020 11:47

I'd get her

Great. Break the rules and sod everyone else.

BumbleBeee69 · 29/03/2020 11:53

No wonder people are dying....

Mittens030869 · 29/03/2020 11:55

I think some of us said we would pick her up because they're speaking from the heart and being honest, like i was. After thinking properly about it, I realised how bad that would be, and I suspect a lot of others are the same.

In addition, the OP's DD has symptoms so saying no would have gone against her moth's instinct. I'm having to keep telling my DM that she mustn't come here to help or have one of my DDs with her.

I don't think the venom was helpful, she needed to be given a more gentle reality check, as indeed I did after my first reply.

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2020 11:56

I would consider it an essential journey

Individualism. It will be the death of many many many people.

Please please stop and think everyone.

An adult in a flat share is not a health emergency (mental or otherwise) requiring travel right now. Indeed, it is currently prohibited.

Don’t be the individual. Be the community.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 11:59

she needed to be given a more gentle reality check, as indeed I did after my first reply

Me too. My first replies were sensitive given I'm in the same position. But then all these posters piling in saying "go and get her" made it difficult to be sensitive to be honest.

JosephineKarlsson · 29/03/2020 12:01

Oh good. The thread police have arrived

Oh how witty you are.

JosephineKarlsson · 29/03/2020 12:03

made it difficult to be sensitive to be honest

Then stop being a keyboard warrior and take a break.

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 12:11

People know the guidelines, we don't need you to try and enforce them.

And we don't need you to dictate who can and can't comment on this thread Hmm

ilovesooty · 29/03/2020 12:12

I don't blame anyone for being angry given the irresponsible nature of some of these replies.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 12:13

and take a break.

Who made you a moderator? Take a break yourself if you’re finding people’s posting challenging.

Frownette · 29/03/2020 12:15

I'm stuck in a strange town on my own where I don't know anyone for however long restrictions last.

I don't like it and certainly get low moments, but I checked with police and they said it's non essential to travel home.

I have a roof over my head, garden, cooking and washing facilities so have to be more resilient.

This thing spreads fast and we all have to try to be patient and wait and hope for improvements.

Your DH might have a car check OP and it would be classified as non-essential

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 12:15

I don't blame anyone for being angry given the irresponsible nature of some of these replies.

Exactly. Why should anyone feel pressure to be polite if people’s actions are actively and deliberately making the situation worse?

Mittens030869 · 29/03/2020 12:20

Me too. My first replies were sensitive given I'm in the same position. But then all these posters piling in saying "go and get her" made it difficult to be sensitive to be honest.

I agree, but it wasn't the OP who deserved the vitriol. She hadn't done it yet, she must have been very concerned for her DD, and it's a shame that she was driven away from the thread.

She might have accepted the answers if she hadn't felt so under attack.

For the record, I'm actually very unwell with what's probably COVID-19, but I understand the OP because I'm having to constantly remind my DM that we're under lockdown. And her coming wouldn't help me, it would worry me as she's 80 years old and vulnerable.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 12:22

Oh how witty you are.

JosephineKarlsson. And how arrogant you are, thinking you have the right to tell people when they can or can’t post.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 12:28

she must have been very concerned for her DD, and it's a shame that she was driven away from the thread.

A) Many people are very concerned for their loved ones but are choosing to abide by the rules and not put others at risk.

B) She wasn’t driven away, she chose to flounce off because she didn’t like posters telling her she was selfish and irresponsible.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 12:29

She hadn't done it yet, she must have been very concerned for her DD ... She might have accepted the answers if she hadn't felt so under attack.

I don't agree or feel much sympathy for the OP.

She knew that what she wanted to do was against guidelines. She came on here hoping to be told that it was fine, an exception should be made and her and her family are all still good people.

When she started to hear something different, she not only flounced, but also implied it was other posters' fault in goading her into what she knew was the wrong thing to do.

I think she has a serious problem in taking responsibility.

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