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Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:
MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:41

Well this thread is a perfect example of why more stringent measures, that will even more negatively effect those poor fuckers who are following the guidelines, are necessary.

CleansUpPenguinPoo · 29/03/2020 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 10:41

I was thinking this the other day, if this happened when I was single in my 20s id have definitely gone home.
Enjoy the time together x

Are you having a laugh with that post?

The time for the DD to come home has passed. We are in a lockdown in case you hadn't noticed. There is now NO mixing of households.

Do you actually watch the News and listen to what is being said?

maralough · 29/03/2020 10:43

What is most frustrating for me is that the people who don't think the guidance applies to them may mean that we have more draconian measures in future.

I don't want to be in this situation, no one does, but at the moment I can go for a walk every day and go to the shop every few days to get the food we need. I don't need a piece of paper to do those things, and I'm not in the situation people in Spain are in where they can't even go for a short walk. If people ignore the rules then we may head in that direction and it'll be much harder for us all.

slashlover · 29/03/2020 10:43

@damnitnotlistening

I'd go because it would be my instinct to protect my daughter from anything and I mean anything. I would walk if I had to.
I would want her with her family. We don't know how long this is going to last.
I would worry so much about her mental health declining if she were left alone.
If she were to get COVID-19 I would want her with me so I could ensure she has all she needs.
There's a thousand reasons why but I guess it boils down to maternal instinct.

I agree! Screw the NHS! Screw vulnerable people! Screw the people dying! Screw everyone else as long as the adult child you care about is home!

If she did get it then, as you say, you could look after her. And if she needs a ventilator and it means an older person dying as happened in other countries then it would totally be worth it.

Icecreambaby · 29/03/2020 10:44

The truth is can we really trust this family will all isolate for 14 days without going out at all? Someone who flouts the guidelines already? Will her DD be really sitting in the car without stop and all? I also don't know why the UK has to make the guidelines so complicated with 7 says vs 14 says. Most countries are saying 14 days quarantine and that's it. So many people now here seem to think 7 days are sufficient and who knows how widespread the virus is now ...

Roussette · 29/03/2020 10:44

Well this thread is a perfect example of why more stringent measures, that will even more negatively effect those poor fuckers who are following the guidelines, are necessary

I know. We are stringently following everything and because of all the huns on here saying go get her, I and my family will be even more restricted than I am now.
If this means I can't go out to walk in the fields, I will be beyond furious with the likes of the Go Get Her posters on this thread.

Lockeddownliving · 29/03/2020 10:44

Ok I didn’t realise UK guidelines were now strict too, apologies. Last I heard from my UK family was yesterday when people were still going to work etc (unless they were able to work from home).

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:45

Last I heard from my UK family was yesterday when people were still going to work etc (unless they were able to work from home)

Which is covered under the guidelines

As is “households must not mix” and “only make essential journeys for food, medication and work where necessary”

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 10:45

I'd go because it would be my instinct to protect my daughter from anything and I mean anything. I would walk if I had to.

Ah, it’s Mumma Bear Syndrome. Something that seems to be lauded on here. Trouble is, it’s saying fuck everyone else’s children.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 10:45

The truth is can we really trust this family will all isolate for 14 days without going out at all?

No. Course not. The family meal for tonight is being prepared as I type. If you flout the rules by doing what has been forbidden in driving to pick up the DD, they're hardly likely to adhere to the rest of it.

CleansUpPenguinPoo · 29/03/2020 10:46

@AinJD
Thanks for all the constructively written responses. However, I only just realised how truly poisonous these kinds of places are - innocent me. I was fine with and expected both negative and positive responses and we really were looking for strength to do the right thing. It only takes one or two overly personally nasty comments to render the whole thing useless. I expect our usually extremely moral, unselfish and ethically sound daughter will either tell DH not to come tomorrow or admit that there’s something bothering her so much that she really can’t stay. I can’t believe how dirty Mumsnet has made me feel despite the many comments that understood exactly where I was coming from. ☹️ No more responses needed, thank you.

Given the diametrically opposing responses on here, I think this discussion needs to keep going as just prehaps a few more people might be prepared to change their minds and follow instructions to protect us as well as themselves. Even if OP, you've thrown a strop at people daring to criticise you. I bet you're still reading this..

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 10:48

The truth is can we really trust this family will all isolate for 14 days without going out at all?

Frankly, no.

What’s the betting that DD comes in, has a shower, changes clothes and then they all have a lovely dinner together?

Then at least one member of the family goes out to do shopping tomorrow.

I’d say high.

CleansUpPenguinPoo · 29/03/2020 10:48

Wow, got deleted for saying I wouldn't want a nurse who didn't understand about observing self-isolation and social distancing to nurse me. Nice one, MN

Roussette · 29/03/2020 10:49

There seems to be this idea on MN that some of us (by adhering to the rules) obviously don't love our children as much as others. I don't think it's sunk in that we're all in this together.

Your actions affect others

kingofkings · 29/03/2020 10:49

No it's against guidance

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:49

CleansUpPenguinPoo

Are you really surprised....?

Lockeddownliving · 29/03/2020 10:50

@MarieQueenofScots thanks for clarifying

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 10:51

Wow, got deleted for saying I wouldn't want a nurse who didn't understand about observing self-isolation and social distancing to nurse me. Nice one, MN

Come on MN. Why not delete those posters encouraging the op to break the rules and spread the virus? Confused

damnitnotlistening · 29/03/2020 10:51

I answered the question honestly. The answer wasn't to your liking but it was honest.
I felt I could answer it honestly.........should I have lied to please you?

Lockheart · 29/03/2020 10:51

No, @CleansUpPenguinPoo, you got deleted because you called her stupid / an idiot. Doesn't matter how righteous you feel, personal attacks are not allowed.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:52

I answered the question honestly. The answer wasn't to your liking but it was honest.
I felt I could answer it honestly.........should I have lied to please you?

You still haven’t answered what makes you, the OP and the other “go get her” cheerleaders so special? Why do you think national guidelines don’t apply to you?

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 10:53

The truth is can we really trust this family will all isolate for 14 days without going out at all?

Of course we can’t trust them. They’ve already demonstrated that they’re too special for any rules. As we write, Dad is probably halfway down the M1 en route to London and Mum’s on the phone to Granny inviting her round for dinner tonight as darling child will be home.

Lockheart · 29/03/2020 10:55

I think a number of posters are now making up narratives to suit their agenda and are getting a bit worked up... Might be helpful to step away from the thread for a bit.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:57

Maybe the guidelines need to be in even smaller words, written in crayon with accompanying pictures just so everyone can decode the text.

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