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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:
Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:35

All those who would go get your child in a heartbeat.... I am going to be polite here but have to say, you really anger and sadden me.

I am playing by the rules, I am leaving my two young adult DCs in London because them and me know we have to do the right thing. Yet... what's the point if all you posters out there don't give a damn about the rules and you would just do what you want and sod everyone else?

Already this morning, I'm whatsapping my DDs and asking them if they have to go out at all today, if so, to wear gloves then wash them, to not touch their faces etc. My messages are met with 'Awww Mum, don't worry, we're being careful'

Yet all these people out there who would drive hundreds of miles and put others at risk makes me wonder about my fellow human beings and their selfishness.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:38

I'm worried she's left it a bit late, but every day you leave it is too long. You will risk getting stopped

That post will have the OP's DH getting in his car in five minutes time to drive hundreds of miles and break the rules then...
Totally insane to post and encourage such behaviour because that's what you're doing.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 09:40

I think there is cognitive dissonance going on with some people.

Their brain can’t cope with the fact that they ‘see’ themselves as people who do the right thing.

Yet they really want to go pick their adult children up.

That’s what tough decisions look like people.

Lockheart · 29/03/2020 09:40

In your opinion, @NoSquirrels

MNHQ do not place themselves, and never have done, in the position of giving opinions and advice on posters situations in the forums. Their job is to be impartial moderators. And yes, that will include removing obvious misinformation or illegal posts. But that's not what was happening on this thread.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 09:41

MNHQ do not place themselves, and never have done, in the position of giving opinions and advice on posters situations in the forums

They have standard responses they give in certain situations.

They could easily do the same here with a reminder of the guidelines.

Radn · 29/03/2020 09:43

Isn't she worried about passing it onto you, her parents? Lots of young London people are asymptomatic carriers - how would she ever forgive herself if she passed it to either of you and you ended up in intensive care? It would be genuinely dangerous of you to bring her into your home at the moment. She'll be fine in London, she's not a baby. Lots of FaceTime and you'll all feel better.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:47

Isn't she worried about passing it onto you, her parents?

Exactly! That was my DCs first thought when they wondered about coming home before lockdown.

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2020 09:50

MNHQ do not place themselves, and never have done, in the position of giving opinions and advice on posters situations in the forums.

Posting the clear government guidelines as part of a message on the thread would not be ‘opinion or advice’, it would merely be re-publishing the information in a prominent place (not behind a clicky link at the top of a thread).

GreyGardens88 · 29/03/2020 09:52

I'm in the same position as your DD, live in a flat share in zone 2, tiny desk makes it hard to work from home. I would love to go live with my parents in the countryside for 3 months but I'm not because my parents are in their late 60s and it's irresponsible as f*ck

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 09:59

People like the OP who think they’re just that little bit different, a bit special and the guidelines don’t apply to them are the reason that the lockdown will get even more stringent.

Why the fuck are we nothing

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 09:59

*bothering

damnitnotlistening · 29/03/2020 10:08

I would absolutely go and get her!
Please go and get her.
We don't know how long this will go on for.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 10:09

We don't know how long this will go on for.

A lot longer than strictly necessary (at great cost to our health system and economy) with people like you advocating spreading it around the country. Hmm

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:11

Please go and get her

Please give one good reason the clear rules do not apply to the OP

We don't know how long this will go on for

It will go on for longer if people decide they can opt in and out of what parts don’t suit them.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 10:11

I would absolutely go and get her!
Please go and get her.
We don't know how long this will go on for

Selfish selfish selfish.
For god's sake think of others. This is going to London and bringing an adult back into Yorkshire who could spread it about... but hey, do what you want and sod everyone else..
What is your justification for this apart from being selfish?

maralough · 29/03/2020 10:14

I took it from the OP that her DH would be setting off at 8am this morning to pick DD up so he's almost certainly on his way to get her.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 10:14

damnitnotlistening

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more appropriate user name

Bluejuicyapple · 29/03/2020 10:16

I would get her, I wouldn’t hesitate

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 10:16

@damnitnotlistening

Why would you go and get her?

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:17

I would get her, I wouldn’t hesitate

I’ll ask you a similar question. Why don’t the guidelines apply to you?

Medievalist · 29/03/2020 10:17

@Bluejuicyapple - and you. Why would you not hesitate?

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 10:17

I took it from the OP that her DH would be setting off at 8am this morning to pick DD up so he's almost certainly on his way to get her.

Yes. Sad

And I bet the OP is planning the family dinner as we speak.

But as someone pointed out upthread, people will be judged by their actions during this crisis. There will be a lot of anger.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 10:18

Coronavirus has brought out the very best in some people, and the very worst in some as selfish thickery appears to be a badge of honour.

Bluejuicyapple · 29/03/2020 10:21

Friend of mine is living abroad with husband and teen. The young adult children, early 20’s are in the family home here. She came home to be with them leaving husband and teen abroad and I would have done exactly the same, no question

Icecreambaby · 29/03/2020 10:23

The government is now saying the lockdown measures may be further tightened. Incidents like this or people who go out more than once are the reasons now everyone may have to go through a complete lockdown. More than 1,000 deaths already when just weeks ago there were only a few deaths, it is still not a wakeup call for people to know how contagious this virus is.