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Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 09:09

Great. People being actually driven off the site now. Now that is shameful.

No. What is shameful is selfish people like OP putting others at risk and then whining and accusing others of being poisonous when people tell her she’s unreasonable.

YgritteSnow · 29/03/2020 09:12

Instead of burying your head in the sand and deleting posts

Yes everyone must have free reign to be abusive, contemptuous and allowed to attack anyone as harshly as they wish at a time like this without risk of deletion.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 09:13

Great. People being actually driven off the site now. Now that is shameful.

Oh, and she hasn’t been driven off the site. She’s acted like a child and spat her dummy out because she doesn’t like being told she’s in the wrong.

DowntownAbby · 29/03/2020 09:14

@PNDventing I despair, too.

I hope your DH is coping ok and stays well.

It is quite staggering just how many MNers have absolutely respect for people like him, and in fact show utter contempt for him and his colleagues.

You can guarantee they will have been there applauding on Thursday night and saying how wonderful the NHS staff are but when it comes to actions rather than words they unfortunately don't give a shit about your DH.

They should be ashamed, but they're not.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:16

OP if you are still reading, and others on here who are thinking of doing this... go on this site.

news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-uk-tracker-how-many-cases-are-in-your-area-updated-daily-11956258

My two DCs. One of them is in one of the top boroughs... 71 cases per 100,000.

Go and check where your DD lives at how many cases they've got.

I could not live with myself if I brought my DD home. We are all in this together. Selfishness does not rule. We have to think of others, we should ALL have a collective responsibility for others... elderly, vulnerable, NHS workers

YgritteSnow · 29/03/2020 09:18

Oh, and she hasn’t been driven off the site. She’s acted like a child and spat her dummy out because she doesn’t like being told she’s in the wrong.

Yes she definitely should have stuck around to carry on being harangued and should have have been willing to accept any kind of abuse at a time like this.

DowntownAbby · 29/03/2020 09:21

@YgritteSnow if some harsh words help get across the utter stupidity and recklessness of this sort of idiotic behaviour then so be it.

But then you're one of the people encouraging OP to spread this virus to our county which has so far escaped relatively well - which is a godsend given we have so little health infrastructure - aren't you.

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 09:21

Yes she definitely should have stuck around to carry on being harangued and should have have been willing to accept any kind of abuse at a time like this

How much abuse did she actually get? She was called selfish. That’s not abuse, it’s judgement based on facts.

Also, what I was really unimpressed with was the suggestion that ‘mean’ mumsnetters were actually pushing her to do the wrong thing, which she wouldn’t have otherwise.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:21

You can guarantee they will have been there applauding on Thursday night and saying how wonderful the NHS staff are but when it comes to actions rather than words they unfortunately don't give a shit about your DH

^ This.

All your posters on here who say 'Go Get Her'.
Were you all clapping for the NHS on Thursday night? Have a long hard think about what you are advocating. Are you going to clap next Thursday too? Yet you're happy to break the rules ....

Hugh Pym on the Andrew Marr show must be listening in. He has exactly said about this. About long journeys, stopping at service station for a loo break, about picking up a relative and the answer is DO NOT DO IT.

But... hey... selfishness rules with half the posters on here.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/03/2020 09:23

Yes she definitely should have stuck around to carry on being harangued and should have have been willing to accept any kind of abuse at a time like this.

Well I’m afraid that’s the risk you take when you’re breathtakingly selfish and show utter contempt for the well-being of others.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:25

I don't think any poster should accept just a post saying you are disgusting and selfish. Those posts should be scrolled by. They serve no purpose and won't work.
However, look at all the other posts on here... from NHS workers, from mothers in exactly the same position as the OP (ME!), at information on how it can spread, etc.... and accept that it is not the right thing to do.

StSaulOfSnacks · 29/03/2020 09:25

She needs to self isolate in her room for 14 days, not 7, if she's asymptomatic.

YgritteSnow · 29/03/2020 09:27

But then you're one of the people encouraging OP to spread this virus to our county which has so far escaped relatively well - which is a godsend given we have so little health infrastructure - aren't you.

Oh no! looks like the MN Enforcers are being encouraged to turn their wrath onto me now the OP has gone. I've no intention of allowing myself to be positioned there and take that spot thanks very much. But I find the justifications for abuse and attacking interesting, to the point where MNHQ are even being told they should be changing their long standing rules on personal attacks to allow them to continue more easily. When all this is over I think some people will cringe themselves inside at out at how they behaved over it and/or there'll be a lot of cowardly name changes. Time will tell.

Lockheart · 29/03/2020 09:28

The continued unpleasantness from some quarters is totally unnecessary (and frankly pointless, now the OP has gone). You can tell someone they're wrong without shouting and name calling, you know.

Yes, @LaurieMarlow, there were several posts abusing the OP which have now been deleted.

Roussette · 29/03/2020 09:28

She needs to self isolate in her room for 14 days, not 7, if she's asymptomatic

Like that'll happen! As if !

Family meal at home first night, Mum goes off to supermarket next day and leaves traces from DD everywhere, on the trolley, on shelves, then she pops into Boots for a prescription, then goes to the cashcard machine and so on....

LaurieMarlow · 29/03/2020 09:29

As the situation worsens, there will be increasing anger towards who are breaking the rules. Those insistent on doing so will have to be prepared for that.

I’m in Ireland. A young ICU nurse in my locality died of CV the other day. The consequences of this are real.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 09:30

The instructions apply to everybody.

Please do NOT go get your adult daughter. It would be monumentally selfish.

The guidelines are clear - why do you think they don’t apply to you?

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2020 09:31

I am all for doing the right thing, I am following lock down rules very tightly. However - if one of my children wanted to come home and be safe at home I would go and get them in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

“I’m very responsible - I follow all the rules. However... if they don’t suit me I do what I like.”

I agree that MNHQ actually do have a duty here on a thread like this to reiterate the VERY CLEAR government instructions on not mixing households.

MarieQueenofScots · 29/03/2020 09:32

I agree that MNHQ actually do have a duty here on a thread like this to reiterate the VERY CLEAR government instructions on not mixing households

Absolutely this.

BabyLlamaZen · 29/03/2020 09:33

I'm worried she's left it a bit late, but every day you leave it is too long. You will risk getting stopped.

Pulppixies · 29/03/2020 09:33

What are people doing about car batteries? I take it, if you aren’t driving anywhere, they’re all flat? I went for a drive yesterday as I’m at work on Monday and I didn’t want a flat battery. Hadn’t driven for ages. Good job I did as it struggled to start.

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2020 09:33

I find the justifications for abuse and attacking interesting, to the point where MNHQ are even being told they should be changing their long standing rules on personal attacks to allow them to continue more easily

I dint think anyone has suggested MNHQ change the rules on personal attacks.

They have suggested that MNHQ reiterate the government instructions when commenting on thread.

Lockheart · 29/03/2020 09:34

MNHQ have the NHS and PHE guidance posted at the top of all the coronavirus threads.

Beyond enforcing their site rules, they don't have a duty to do anything. They're a forum.

They are not the law or the government or the police.

BabyLlamaZen · 29/03/2020 09:34

Why wasn't this discussed a few weeks ago? I'm sorry but I think she needs to ride it out now :(

NoSquirrels · 29/03/2020 09:35

Beyond enforcing their site rules, they don't have a duty to do anything. They're a forum.

A moral duty, Lockheart.

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