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So confused re FIL - handhold please?

233 replies

EchoLocation · 28/03/2020 16:24

Sorry this is long...

Ten days ago my FIL (75, lives alone 50 miles away from us, very active and healthy) came down with coronavirus symptoms. He didn't call DH until day 4 and we encouraged him to call 111; by then he wasn't eating and did not sound good.
A doctor came out early on day 5 and prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection. FIL thought he had also tested for COVID-19.
Day 6 he felt a bit better and ate something.
Day 7 he felt awful again and didn't get out of bed. We called 111 but there was a mix up and we were promised a call back which never happened. At this point we were waiting for the COVID test to be negative so DH could go and look after him - we then found out FIL had been confused about this and he hadn't been tested after all.
Day 8 he seemed confused, didn't know what day of the week it was or what was going on. My DH called 111 who sent an ambulance and he was taken in.
We eventually got though to A&E who told us he was being admitted but couldn't give us any details but said he "probably has coronavirus".
Day 9 we managed to speak to FIL on his mobile and he seemed ok. A nurse on the ward said they were still waiting for results of tests, inc for COVID-19. From what I gather, he is on a general geriatic ward so this is worrying itself.

Anyway today, day 10, DH called the ward. The results are still not back but the nurse has said FIL has spiked another fever, he has fluid on his lungs and basically we need to prepare ourselves for the worst. She even said he has signed to say he doesn't want respiratory support if it's required.
The really confusing part is DH then spoke to FIL on the phone and he sounded ok-ish?? He said he's got no trouble breathing, just feels weak and shaky, he was grumpy about his uncomfortable hospital bed and kept saying he couldn't wait to get home. He certainly does not sound like he's a death's door, but then we are not medically trained. Do people tend to go down hill very quickly in these circumstances?
We are really aware of how much pressure the staff at the hospital must be at the moment so don't want to keep ringing but we are just so confused and don't feel like we have any answers. It is SO hard not being able to go to him. We just don't know what to do with ourselves, we keep swinging between feeling like it can't be that bad and fearing the worst.
Has anyone been through similar? Any advice?
Sorry if this is garbled, I can't think straight atm.

OP posts:
LuciLuci · 30/03/2020 10:18

Good morning OP. You’re in my prayers today. I re-read your first post and I wanted to ask if you don’t mind, did the hospital finally get the test results back to you? I can’t imagine how shocking and confusing this all is for you right now, sending lots of love Flowers

EchoLocation · 30/03/2020 10:25

Thanks @LuciLuci. Still no clarity on that, DH forgot to ask yesterday. I will remind him to ask today as it will be good to know for sure.
Thanks so much for your prayers x

OP posts:
MrsPerfect12 · 30/03/2020 10:29

Handhold from me. Hoping the you FiL has a turn around today.

DodgeRainClouds · 30/03/2020 10:39

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your poor FIL. You are in my thoughts x

ohfourfoxache · 30/03/2020 11:13

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s thoroughly shit Sad

Torvi · 30/03/2020 11:23

Thinking of you all Daffodil

PinkJam · 30/03/2020 11:26

Thinking of you and your family OP. Especially your FIL and DH x

Desertislanddreamer · 30/03/2020 13:03

Handholding from me as well. Don’t feel guilty tho op...vent away, we are all here for you. Thoughts, prayers and love to you all

SamSeabornforPresident · 30/03/2020 13:37

Hope all goes ok for him (and you) OP. It's a bloody horrible situation - so cruel.

EchoLocation · 30/03/2020 13:48

Test came back positive this morning for corona.

FIL's kidneys are failing, he has been distressed and the palliative care team have made him comfortable.

The new ward is currently saying strictly no visitors but doctor is considering an exception for DH this evening.

No idea how long this is going to take. Please pray for a quick and peaceful end.

OP posts:
Snog · 30/03/2020 13:48

Really hoping your FIL starts to improve OP. Situation sounds unbelievably tough, be kind to your family and also to yourself.
ThanksThanksThanks

EricaNernie · 30/03/2020 13:53

Thanks sending peace to you all

FailingMeansYouArePlaying · 30/03/2020 13:55

I'm so sorry. What a horribly sad situation

lostfrequencies · 30/03/2020 13:56

I'm so sorry OP. Sending love and peaceful thoughts your way Thanks

SerendipitySunshine · 30/03/2020 13:57

Sending lots of love and keeping my fingers firmly crossed for your FIL.

Mittens030869 · 30/03/2020 13:58

I'm so sorry, OP, how awful for you and your family. ThanksThanks

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 30/03/2020 14:01

How awfully sad. I hope your DH does get to say goodbye.

My grandma is 84 and has already said she doesn’t want to be put on a ventilator if it comes to it. She says she’s had a wonderful life and would prefer to go now than to deteriorate and need care.

Dontrainonmyparade · 30/03/2020 14:03

Oh OP, I’m crying for you. Lots of love to you all.

Gillian1980 · 30/03/2020 14:15

I’m so sorry OP, how sad. I really hope your DH can be with him.

Nothingfallingdowntoday · 30/03/2020 14:30

This is such a sad situation. I am so sorry for you all. Flowers

lightyearsahead · 30/03/2020 14:34

So sad, it just shows this virus is non-discriminatory, you go from OK to fighting for your life in a few days. Very frightening.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

ItsJustASimpleLine · 30/03/2020 14:46

So so sorry OP

LuciLuci · 30/03/2020 14:48

I’m so sorry OP, I keep praying for a dramatic turnaround for you. I wish I could say something reassuring. There are lots of people here holding your hand and sending positive thoughts. Lots of love Flowers

TechGinny · 30/03/2020 16:45

I'm so sorry OP, it's so utterly bloody unfair. If the staff are anything like those who looked after my mum at the end of her life, your FIL will be being cared for with the gentle love and care you'd give your loved one if you were able to be there. There are some incredibly wonderful people in the NHS who give their absolute all.

Thinking of you Flowers

Roostersmum2 · 30/03/2020 16:51

I'm so sorry OP, i was hoping so much for him to turn a corner. I came to see if you had updated and my heart sank when I read the latest.

My thoughts continue to be with you and your family. Sending all my love to your dear FIL Flowers