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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Wait a second ... how do we do custody exchanges?!

299 replies

PicsInRed · 23/03/2020 20:35

Nothing in Boris' message about travel to exchange children for contact.

What is the legal position here?

OP posts:
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Notredamn · 23/03/2020 22:56

The title of the thread is a question. Are you ok choma?

chomalungma · 23/03/2020 22:58

Stop interpreting the rules of this lockdown as meaning children can't live in their homes as usual

I don't want to interpret the rules like that. I really really don't. I am in tears at the moment.

However, I can't see any guidance that says it is allowed.

Can you?

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 22:59

....and to answer the question (again): everything continues as before unless there are unusual circumstances for e.g. one parent has been ignoring government advice and has been socialising with tom, dick and harry, and is refusing to comply with social isolation. In which case it would be more complicated as the other parent would want to step in and stop the risk their child is exposed to.

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 23:00

Yes, the official guidance. You are your child's caregiver.

CorianderLord · 23/03/2020 23:01

Go now.

Grufallosfriends · 23/03/2020 23:01

So why not to ship kids from one home to their other home?

Because the kids could ;unknowingly) spread the virus from one household to the other.

And we're try to stop the virus from spreading!

12345kbm · 23/03/2020 23:02

Here's the guidance:

NEW RULES ON STAYING AT HOME AND AWAY FROM OTHERS
The single most important action we can all take, in fighting coronavirus, is to stay at home in order to
protect the NHS and save lives.
When we reduce our day-to-day contact with other people, we will reduce the spread of the infection. That
is why the government is now (23 March 2020) introducing three new measures.

  1. Requiring people to stay at home, except for very limited purposes
  2. Closing non-essential shops and community spaces
  3. Stopping all gatherings of more than two people in public
Every citizen must comply with these new measures. The relevant authorities, including the police, will be given the powers to enforce them – including through fines and dispersing gatherings. These measures are effective immediately. The Government will look again at these measures in three weeks, and relax them if the evidence shows this is possible.
  1. STAYING AT HOME
You should only leave the house for one of four reasons. ● Shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible. ● One form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household. ● Any medical need, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person. ● Travelling to and from work, but only where this absolutely cannot be done from home. These four reasons are exceptions - even when doing these activities, you should be minimising time spent outside of the home and ensuring you are 2 metres apart from anyone outside of your household. These measures must be followed by everyone. Separate advice is available for individuals or households who are isolating, and for the most vulnerable who need to be shielded. If you work in a critical sector outlined in this guidance, or your child has been identified as vulnerable, you can continue to take your children to school.
  1. CLOSING NON-ESSENTIAL SHOPS AND PUBLIC SPACES
Last week, the Government ordered certain businesses - including pubs, cinemas and theatres - to close. The Government is now extending this requirement to a further set of businesses and other venues, including: ● all non-essential retail stores - this will include clothing and electronics stores; hair, beauty and nail salons; and outdoor and indoor markets, excluding food markets. ● libraries, community centres, and youth centres. ● indoor and outdoor leisure facilities such as bowling alleys, arcades and soft play facilities. ● communal places within parks, such as playgrounds, sports courts and outdoor gyms. ● places of worship, except for funerals attended by immediate families. ● hotels, hostels, bed and breakfasts, campsites, caravan parks, and boarding houses for commercial/leisure use (excluding permanent residents and key workers).
  1. STOPPING PUBLIC GATHERINGS
To make sure people are staying at home and apart from each other, the Government is also stopping all public gatherings of more than two people. There are only two exceptions to this rule: ● where the gathering is of a group of people who live together - this means that a parent can, for example, take their children to the shops if there is no option to leave them at home. ● where the gathering is essential for work purposes - but workers should be trying to minimise all meetings and other gatherings in the workplace. In addition, the Government is stopping social events, including weddings, baptisms and other religious ceremonies. This will exclude funerals, which can be attended by immediate family. DELIVERING THESE NEW MEASURES These measures will reduce our day to day contact with other people. They are a vital part of our efforts to reduce the rate of transmission of coronavirus. Every citizen is instructed to comply with these new measures. The Government will therefore be ensuring the police and other relevant authorities have the powers to enforce them, including through fines and dispersing gatherings where people do not comply. They will initially last for the three weeks from 23 March, at which point the Government will look at them again and relax them if the evidence shows this is possible.
RuffleCrow · 23/03/2020 23:02

We desperately need clarity on this. Let's all email Gingerbread tomorrow and ask them to put this question to the Government.

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 23:03

I can't think of any government which would police a parent, parenting their child/ren and enforce laws to prevent them from seeing each other overnight, with no justification.
Stay at home. Have your children stay at home. If they have more than one home, have them stay at home during your contact time with them. Don't go gathering in public. That is all.

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 23:04

Or to provide care

There it is.

SmileEachDay · 23/03/2020 23:05
  • Grufallosfriends

I’m a KW. My child is looked after by their dad whilst I go to work - as a teacher, looking after other KWs children.

Their dad and I live separately.

What would you suggest? Send DC to school instead - exposed to far more possible sources of infection?

amy85 · 23/03/2020 23:09

@Notredamn I thought that (Kids going to school = ok kids going to their dads = not ok) seeing as I had just read loads of posts telling me kids should stay with one parent for the next three weeks...I thought it would be fine for them to be transported by car from mine to his

SmileEachDay · 23/03/2020 23:12

I thought it would be fine for them to be transported by car from mine to his
It will be.

I will be running with DC to dad’s house. Daily exercise. Drop DC off. Finish run.

Might actually get trained for when marathons are back on!

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 23:12

Don't pay any attention to it, amy. Just go on as you usually do with your children's contact. People are frightening themselves/being frightened by others for no reason.

BigChocFrenzy · 23/03/2020 23:16

Email your MP to ask

The MP will check on this
and the government will update the rules they are issuing, to clarify what to do

"In other countries custody exchanges are permitted."

But they may not be in the UK
Every lockdown around the world is a bit different

Notredamn · 23/03/2020 23:19

Or to provide care

Is what Boris himself said.

Notcool1984 · 23/03/2020 23:20

In other countries under lockdown custody exchanges are allowed. Use common sense

nopointinstaying · 23/03/2020 23:22

Jess Phillips tweeted on this exact topic

jamaisjedors · 23/03/2020 23:25

I'm in France, custody arrangements and childcare are specifically cited as exceptions and allowed.

The DC's father was stopped by the police this week on his way to get them, he just had to show ID and show his self certificate.

However I have also heard that no court is going to "punish" you for NOT handing over your dc if you don't feel it's safe.

As others have said, exh and I both live alone and are extremely cautious (I haven't been out at all since a brief trip into work to pick up stuff to work from home last Tuesday).

The dc get into his car outside the door and are delivered to his door.

No contact with anyone else.

I will not be going out at all for the next 2-3 weeks or more, apart from one click and collect shop.

I'd call that self isolating, particularly compared to all the people going out for "just essentials" like bread and milk every day or couple of days.

Myself or exh are not spreading it to anyone(if we by some chance had it), we haven't been near anyone for over a week.

No reason for the dc not to see their father.

Otoh friends who are vulnerable or whose dc are vulnerable are not keeping up joint custody.

Qwerty543 · 23/03/2020 23:56

I'm confused by this too. I'm WFH, ex is working but not many people in his work afaik. He lives alone. I'm unsure if it would be risky for contact or not. I can't see him taking it well if there no official guidance and purely me saying they are staying with me for at least 3 weeks. He is due to have them for a week in the holidays.

northernlass88 · 24/03/2020 00:00

Boris has spoken yet I'm still getting abusive texts from DD's dad about how unreasonable i am to keep asthmatic DD at home and it's my own selfish insecurities to blame and I'm destroying DD's mental health. I must point out he lives 70 miles away as well - surely Boris made it clear we're barely allowed to walk down the street once a day for daily exercise!

Thatnovembernight · 24/03/2020 00:02

An MP has said they think it will be permitted but they will get clarification (scroll down a bit to see): www.theguardian.com/politics/live/2020/mar/23/uk-coronavirus-live-news-latest-boris-johnson-minister-condemns-people-ignoring-two-metre-distance-rule-in-parks-as-very-selfish

30not13 · 24/03/2020 00:09

I've contacted my MP to ask that he clarifies this issue.

30not13 · 24/03/2020 00:11

Reply was that guidance will be issued tomorrow but Scotland advice may differ (where I am)

PotholeParadise · 24/03/2020 00:13

It's allowed.

Been added as a footnote to "providing care"

"Where applicable, this includes moving children under 18 between their parents’ homes. ↩"
www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

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