AIBU to send kids to nursery?

[MammyOoo]

Wwyd

Kids are 1 and 3. No health conditions. DH is a key worker, I can wfh. I can’t actually work while looking after the kids as they are so little and baby is Velcro. I can’t work when they are asleep as biggest doesn’t nap, baby isn’t a good night sleeper anyway. So if they don’t go to childcare one of us has to stop working. I earn shedloads more and enjoy my job more so no way it would be me.

So do we send them? Or DH quit work and take a key worker out of circulation? (He’s in food not NHS)

You do not send as you are working from home. The key worker care is for those with no other options.

No way should they be going to nursery. Can you WFH around your partners hours?

YABU. They’re your kids, you’re going to be at home, you should look after them. Doesn’t matter if you earn more and enjoy your job more you’re responsible for your children

YABU = keep them home
yanbu = send to childcare

DH should talk to his employer.

If he is not absolutely needed, he should stay home. If he is, then you should then talk to the nursery and work out the best solution.

So is their dad, so if they stay home he’s quitting his job. We can’t survive on his income, we can on mine.

No you dont send your children to nursery. You are able to look after them at home. Guideline clearly state sending your children to nusery or school is a last resort. And no your husband doesnt leave his job if he is a key worker you just have to make your role at home work just like the rest of the country is.

You definitely should not be sending them. Cross that off your options list, and go from there.

Yabu - advice is very clear, you can only send them if there is absolutely no alternative. You have an alternative.

Do you really want to put your entire household at greater risk? You may have to adjust the times you work around nap times and when DH gets home but please do not abuse this service setup to keep key workers working.

Why is he quitting his job?! You’re being selfish and irresponsible. Look after your bloody children and stop trying to ship them off to somebody else just because you enjoy your job

Did you just watch the news?! Keep them at home please

@Eleanorrrelephant

Just out of curiosity, do you mean OP is responsible as the mother or that as parents they are jointly responsible?

Because she has a solution if they don't go to nursery and it means keeping a key worker at home.

Option C: me stop working/earning would bankrupt us (and destroy our marriage and my mental health as well as let down the team who depend on me) so it’s not happening. Either he quits or they go to childcare.

This is one of those slightly pointless AIBU posfs that ends up being
Op: AIBU?
Everyone: yes
Op: Well I'm not.
Everyone: yes you are.
Op: I'm doing what I want anyway.

I tried WFH with a 1 year old on Friday. I was either being screamed at because they wanted to literally sit on top of me and when they were sitting on top of me they were rolling around/hitting laptop with toys/pushing buttons. Completely impossible to work.
OH came home to take over because financially we need my wage.

It’s really bloody hard OP and if your OH is a key worker I’m not sure what to advise.

@gymrabbit95

She is not saying her decision is purely based on her enjoying her job more. She earns exponentially more than DH.

You can't expect a family to give up their main wage because the partner works in an industry which is currently in high demand.

Everyone is making sacrifices, we will all face financial uncertainly.

The childcare provision now is for EMERGENCIES. You need to stay at home with your children.

Don't send them in. You could work around your DH shifts, for example in the evening if he is on a day shift

YAbu you shouldn’t send your kids to nursery.
That option is for people who have no other choice.
You’re working from home, why does your DH need to quit his highly important job just because you don’t want to take care of your kids? Why does anyone need to quit? Why don’t you just look after them and work from home?
It’s tough, it’s tough for everyone but it’s not all about you OP and how healthy your kids are and how much you love your job.
Look at the bigger picture here, you’re just going to have to suck it up

Does he want to quit his job? If so, do that. Lots of newly unemployed people who may be able to take up a role in the food industry without putting others at risk.
Don’t send them in to nursery just because you don’t want to compromise your life. We are all making sacrifices, esp the NHS workers.

No don't send them. My DH is going to work tomorrow-at his school to look after all the kids that need to be there.

I am a keyworker who is working from home. I will be not sending my DD in to hers.

YABU, you need to look after your children at home. If you don’t get any work done so be it.

He’s hardly an ICU nurse, let him take the leave.

Sorry, but there’s no really ‘nice’ way to say this, but NO do not send your children to nursery.

The number of children being cared for needs to be as low as possible to keep everyone safer! And childcare workers did not sign up for this,not teachers & certainly not nursery staff!! They’re providing emergency care not in don’t want to give up my well paid job’ care FFS

The food industry & supply is,of course,very important and your DH’s ‘role’ is ‘key’ but HE himself isn’t. There are loads of people looking for jobs that can replace your DH (Sorry, but it’s true).

If you can’t wirk around the kids & he doesn’t want to go on nights then he’ll have to resign

Come on, you need to ‘do your bit’. Not put others more at risk (nursery staff) you’re lucky to have a well paid job & be able to WFH don’t take advantage of the poor nursery staff just to keep two incomes. There are ways around it.