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Original poster

AIBU to send kids to nursery?

169 replies

MammyOoo · 22/03/2020 17:57

Wwyd

Kids are 1 and 3. No health conditions. DH is a key worker, I can wfh. I can’t actually work while looking after the kids as they are so little and baby is Velcro. I can’t work when they are asleep as biggest doesn’t nap, baby isn’t a good night sleeper anyway. So if they don’t go to childcare one of us has to stop working. I earn shedloads more and enjoy my job more so no way it would be me.

So do we send them? Or DH quit work and take a key worker out of circulation? (He’s in food not NHS)

OP posts:
june2007 · 22/03/2020 18:11

Actually yes you are fine to send.

Wouldyoubemyamericanboy · 22/03/2020 18:12

YABU but I think you already know that by now.
I also think it’s plainly clear that you’re going to do what you want and put yourself first anyway despite what we all say so I think we’re all wasting our time replying

Meredithgrey1 · 22/03/2020 18:16

I don't know what jobs people have that allow them to work around a baby and a toddler. You'd have to have an extremely understanding boss and complete flexibility re. hours.

You have my sympathy OP, I'm glad I don't have to make this decision. I couldn't in all conscience send them to nursery but if you can't survive on his wage then you can't survive on his wage. If he worked in healthcare then I'd made it work somehow, since he works in food then I think it has to be him that looks after them.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 22/03/2020 18:16

What @Wouldyoubemyamericanboy said

Orchidflower1 · 22/03/2020 18:17

@MammyOoo
NO NO NO
You are at home so are thousands of other parents with Velcro kids.

Do your bit.

Don’t be selfish !!!!!

Nonnymum · 22/03/2020 18:17

What is your job? Is it necesarry. Your employers will have to be reasonable and allow you to work flexibly to look after your kids and alllow your husband to work.

Ohhgreat · 22/03/2020 18:18

Honestly - I think the response here is harsh. The OP needs to work to ensure her families financial survival. Her question is whether she risks childcare to enable her partner to go do his bit for the nhs - the answer to that should be yes.

MushroomTree · 22/03/2020 18:19

Please keep them at home. I'm a single parent key worker so DD will be going to nursery tomorrow. I really wish I could keep her at home, but I don't have the option. You do. Make the right choice.

Nonnymum · 22/03/2020 18:19

since he works in food then I think it has to be him that looks after them.
Working in food is essential. We all née dto work and we need to ensure that food supplies continue.

Violetroselily · 22/03/2020 18:19

OP why bother posting? You know what you want to hear

LisaSimpsonsbff · 22/03/2020 18:22

I don't know what jobs people have that allow them to work around a baby and a toddler. You'd have to have an extremely understanding boss and complete flexibility re. hours.

My work normally have a very strict 'you can't work from home unless you have childcare' policy, but at the moment it's 'do what you can, when you can' because it's clear that the alternative is that half their workforce have to stop working entirely. I realise I'm fortunate to have an understanding employer, but lots of others are saying this - it's the ones who are insisting that all the normal rules apply who are like Cnut shouting at the waves, and who will quickly work out that it just won't be possible to get through a global epidemic while insisting that everything continues just as normal.

Badskinday · 22/03/2020 18:23

Look he is not really a key worker. He works in a shop? Tell him to quit and stay home and you work at home. No childcare needed, you said you can survive on your salary and plus the whole family safe as your DH children and you will all be home. No brainer

amy85 · 22/03/2020 18:24

Yabu....but you sound quite selfish so who cares how many people your kids could potentially pass the virus on too as long as you can work

sunshinemachine · 22/03/2020 18:24

yabu

Spied · 22/03/2020 18:26

It wouldn't sit right with me using the nursery when I was sat (albeit working) at home.
I'd be doing most of my working when Dad returned from his shift.

Original poster
MammyOoo · 22/03/2020 18:28

Thanks everyone! I think He will ask to work just weekends and if they say no he will resign. His work don’t do nights or anything that would otherwise fit around mine.

I know you might think I am selfish, that’s ok. childcare are basically begging us to send them so that they can survive financially and we have a lot of friends with 1 key worker and they are all sending them in. So it hasn’t felt bad. I wanted to check what the ‘outside world’ thinks.

If he were an ICU nurse or something of course he would be working 24/7 and I’d do anything to support that. The world will still turn if he quits.

OP posts:
ChloeDecker · 22/03/2020 18:28

Honestly - I think the response here is harsh. The OP needs to work to ensure her families financial survival. Her question is whether she risks childcare to enable her partner to go do his bit for the nhs - the answer to that should be yes.

Did you read the OP? It says he is not NHS

flumposie · 22/03/2020 18:29

Keep them at home. I don't understand why you would risk sending them in. Childcare provided is for emergencies only

Shehz21 · 22/03/2020 18:29

YABVVVU!
I am most certainly in the closest situation to you, working from home with a 2 year old who is getting bored out of her mind. Me and DH earn almost the same, he is a key worker. I would much rather send DD to nursery so I can work peacefully and concentrate better but I am not and will not as there is absolutely no fckng need to put more pressure on nursery workers!! They have families and want to be safe(confined)too but they are doing this to help those that have absolutely no choice. Can't believe the selfishness dripping from your post.

ChloeDecker · 22/03/2020 18:30

You actually rock OP, thank you for thinking about the bigger picture despite your stressful circumstances Flowers

Crunchymum · 22/03/2020 18:31

I have 3 DC and my company (everyone WFH for a week) have said that people with children do what they can / when they can. Efficiency is expected to drop.

Although our clients are likely to be in same position as well so there will be less work to do overall?

Don't send them to nursery.

Looneytune253 · 22/03/2020 18:32

Everyone is gonna be skint OP. I agree with the others that you should keep your kids home and let DH go to work. You can either work around this or ask to be furloughed. We're all in a tricky position but we need to all work together and stop this disease. It won't work if people decide they want to do what they want to do. Being skint is gonna be the norm for most. The gov are helping with this. Mortgage holidays, paying wages, paying sick pay etc. We're all in the same boat. Do it for the greater good and not for the extra money.

Wouldyoubemyamericanboy · 22/03/2020 18:34

The world will still turn if he quits

Alright crack on then, force your DH to quit his job so you can have it all your way. Do what you want but do not send them to nursery.

BoingBoingyBoing · 22/03/2020 18:35

Absolutely not.

runrabbitrunrunrun · 22/03/2020 18:37

Yabu.