To visit my 79yo dad in the current situation?

[orangejuicer]

My dad is (almost) 79 and lives alone. He has done since my mum died from cancer 3 years ago (she was 64). My dad cared for my mum in her final few months and she died at home.

My dad goes out most days for a walk around his local shopping area. He is obviously being encouraged not to do that now.

I work FT so visit dad every Sunday with my DS who is 15mo.

The thought of him being stuck at home alone with only phone contact is really upsetting me.

I know the current coronavirus advice is that he should do that and that I should probably also stay away. He has heart problems and type 2 diabetes. My DP is a type 1 diabetic so I need to be careful around him too.

We are assuming a kind of lockdown is on its way at some point.

Until then AIBU to visit dad with DS as normal providing we all feel well enough? Or should I just accept that we should basically be self isolating anyway?

My DM is 80 and is mostly self-isolating. She's staying away from us because I've had what's almost certainly COVID-19, and we've been self-isolating as a family. (DH and I have worked out that I'm not infectious now; my DD present caught it a couple of weeks ago and was very bad for 3 days but recovered quickly.)

I've been worried about my DM, because she's been helping my DB at different times and he isn't in an at risk group for himself but he has very poor hygiene due to his MH issues so if he gets ill she would be very much at risk.

She also isn't prepared to commit to self-isolating, saying it's advisory only. But then, it's her choice, she spends 2months every year in West Africa, doing work for the Christian charity she set up and she's had malaria a few times and flu whilst there, so she isn't going to change the habit of a lifetime.

My MIL (also a widow, 79) is planning to stay in and has always been happy to stay in for the last few years and rely on telephone calls.

It's up to our elderly parents to make the decision what they do themselves. But I'm advising my DM to stay safe, so I would never put her at risk myself by going to visit her.

It's up to our elderly parents to make the decision what they do themselves. But I'm advising my DM to stay safe, so I would never put her at risk myself by going to visit her.

And yet you're condoning her not self isolating and thereby putting others at risk?

My point is, I can't make her. She hasn't got symptoms right now, and she stays away from other people. (She came back from Africa so self isolated for an appropriate time.) She's always been good at social distancing when avoiding germs. This is really about whether she should come and visit us, I've probably got COVID-19, though I'm probably not infectious now (according to the guidance of infectiousness being for 7 days).

My parents are early 70s with no (related or current) health conditions. We are self-isolating for 7 days (as are they) and then meeting outside (they live rurally) to give them supplies with no contact, wearing gloves, following stringent hygiene practices, etc. To me, this is a much lower risk than them going shopping as they can't get any delivery slots. Also, the elderly only slot has apparently caused absolute mayhem at their Sainsbury's.