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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Covid

Lockdown alone or go to MILs ...

33 replies

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 06:30

Hey really struggling on what to do..

DP is away with work and will be away at least the next 3 months so its just me and my 1 year old DS if we go into lockdown I really dont know if i could cope with just us two.. DPs mum has said I can go stay there but really unsure what to do!! Help what would you do?!

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unhappyclap · 20/03/2020 06:33

How old is DPs mum? and what do you worry you will struggle with with just you and DS?

PennyGold · 20/03/2020 06:34

Oh that's a tough one...
If I were you I'd fo and stay with my MIL (but she really is lovely).
I wouldn't go if there was FIL, BIL or SIL there as there'd be too many people and opinions.

moita · 20/03/2020 06:34

What's your relationship like? I would if she was bearable. It would be good if she would give you a break/you can share cooking etc.

Saying that my MIL is pretty awful so it would never work

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 06:41

Shes in her early 50s and doesn't have any health issues. Get on fairly well shes a good hand when shes here. I'm worried if we go into lockdown and I need to go to get food or stuff and have to take DS with me or trying to entertain him indoors. SIL will be there so will be 3 adults and 1 child in a 3 bed house...

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puds11 · 20/03/2020 06:41

I think it depends how you generally cope with you DS, the age of your MIL (very important) and your relationship with her. If we were to go into lockdown could you cope being in the house with her 24/7? Will she be helpful with DS? Are you good in your own company or do you get lonely quickly?

puds11 · 20/03/2020 06:41

Massive cross post. How’s relationship with SIL? Does she normally live there?

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 06:45

I get lonely very easy I struggle most weekends when I come home to an empty house and DS is sleeping I end up in bed for half 7.. I get on really well with SIL and yeah she usually lives there..

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RosehipRuthie · 20/03/2020 06:46

Also consider how sensible MIL and SIL are being at social distancing. If they are front line workers or active socialisers, living with them might put you more at risk.

amiapropermum · 20/03/2020 06:48

How would it work with DS? mine is a good sleeper at home but anywhere else or out of routine he doesn't sleep well and we're both exhausted. I'm a single mum from day 1 so used to being on my own with him. If you think he'll just roll with it and you are confident you'll get on well with MIL and SIL without any issues then it's a good idea

AnyOldSpartabix · 20/03/2020 06:51

I’d probably go. Relationship may be strained, but sharing the load is probably better than being alone.

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 06:52

Well MIL is talking doing some maintenance around the house to keep busy.. at the start they weren't taking it seriously but they are now, probs just about as serious as me.. I'm also worried if I did catch it and couldn't look after DS. He also doesn't sleep through the night so the thought of him being up during the night then stuck in all day I'm actually pretty scared how I'd manage but I dont want to uproot him... ahh just dont know anymore

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somewhereovertherainbow2 · 20/03/2020 06:54

I couldn't do it, for various reasons but mostly because I like my own space... I lived alone for 3 years and loved it!

elastamum · 20/03/2020 06:54

If she is early 50s and healthy then you both will likely be fine and your child will be better cared for by two of you. I am in my 50s and I have a house full of students now. I don't consider myself vulnerable. Not being alone is much better for your mental health. .

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 06:55

DS doesn't sleep well at home and when he has stayed at MILs hes just slept the same. Think I will go.

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ChilliMum · 20/03/2020 06:56

I would go, we are in France and have only been on lockdown for a few days but you will appreciate the company (it's a really long day) and you will keep each other sane - I am not generally a worrier but it's really easy to get obsessed with this as everytime I turn on the news or pick up my phone there is an update on how many people have died - having dh to talk to and make plans with is helping me get moving everyday.

It also means you will have someone to help share the childcare and you wont have to take your ds to the shop.

I think the advantages massively outweigh the disadvantages a d you will have a room there you can go to when it's all too much.

recycledbottle · 20/03/2020 06:56

If your MIL and SIL are nice and won't be irresponsible, I would go. Especially if you struggle without company. Some ground rules re space, do help around the house and it will be fine.

amiapropermum · 20/03/2020 06:57

How will MIL and SIL cope with night wakings? My son is a great sleeper now but wasn't for the first 18 months. When my dad was in hospital last year I stayed with my mother for two weeks (she has a health condition and can't stay alone) but she hated being woken during the night and early in the morning.

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 07:11

@chillimum im worried if I'm alone I will become obsessed with watching the news and reading online what's happening and I really think my MH would go downhill! Yes I will help around the house and do mines and DSs washing and stuff just like I do at home.. MIL is going to give me her room at the front off the house so they shouldn't hear DS and they are generally up really early anyway due to SILs work

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littlebillie · 20/03/2020 07:14

I would go, great for you and your child. You may not get on all of the time but it is being part of family we will fall out some of the time.

The main thing is that if you are ill or your baby you have spare hands to help.

meredithgrey1 · 20/03/2020 07:19

I would go.
We're going to stay with my PIL for the whole of next week at least. All four of us are working from home and they've offered (practically insisted actually, but in a nice way) that we come and then we can split caring for DD (9 months) between us so neither DH or I have to take any unpaid leave. They are both under 60 and healthy.

Seventyone72seventy3 · 20/03/2020 07:26

From what you've written here I would definitely go.

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 07:27

Yeah I'm going to go will start getting stuff organized today and get ready to go.. will stay at home until lockdown is announced then will head straight to her house..

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SnowsInWater · 20/03/2020 07:30

Glad to hear you are going, I think that’s a sensible decision. Much better to have people around you who can support each other.

Tiredmumssquad · 20/03/2020 07:34

Thanks everybody for your help I was up most of last night worrying what to do for the best

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Blondewolf · 20/03/2020 07:34

Go.

I'm also scared about being the only adult and obsessing and it all being weird 🥺. If I had a really young child I'd definitely go in a household with more adults.

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