Resentment building up at work re parents / non parents

[alltoomuchrightnow]

In my work place, the parents with no emergency childcare have been sent home . Obviously they have no choice on this as can't bring their kids to work.
The childless (me included - or those with older kids) are to stay and work unless we display any symptoms or are firmly in the at risk category.
As far as we know, all the parents and kids so far are fine - healthy and isolating. (so called, as FB says different for some!)
The resentment amongst my co workers is huge. The parents are at home on full pay. We are having to do some really crappy jobs (extra jobs) with a limited work force. We are all having to do jobs completely outside our normal remit. Things we have no training for , no experience in.
The atmosphere is awful. I am in no way resentful to my co workers who are parents as we know this is a crazy situation, but none of us working feel valued. My boss also knows I have an underlying health condition but as I don't display any worrying symptoms she said they need me to be there 'because the parents cannot be'. I actually want to work. I couldn't stand being at home, and want to keep busy (we are no longer working with the public...we stopped that). But it's so toxic. My co workers are moaning all day. Whereas I was accepting of the situation I'm now feeling very negative. My employers have made us feel we are doing a 'special' job to support the parents, but in fact this has been the case my entire working life. (nearly 3 decades) in terms of parents always had priority, in whatever job I had. Of course this is a situation no one could ever have foreseen.
All i want to do is just go in each day and do my job, go home. I know everyone has a right to moan and be pissed off but morale is so low. Don't know how to switch off from it especially when my colleagues don't understand why I WANT to be there. They say it's unfair the others are being paid to be at home watching Disney with the kids while we are doing horrible work in a stressful situation. That the parents can go shopping when they want, they have an advantage over us, etc. Can walk the dog etc while we are working anti social hours. And will all be doing extra hours in the weeks or months to come. (I've already been doing mainly 7 days a week for months, and am exhausted)
If I carry on listening to it all I'm going to start feeling resentful too and I don't want that. It's not me and I want to keep our team going as best we can.
Not really asking for a solution here as don't see one! just needed to vent a bit

@ChrissieKeller61 thank you. Getting a bit stressed here as DH has an underlying condition so there's as extra layer of worry.

Highly unfair to treat the parents and childless different.

Of course it isn’t. It’s absolutely necessary to keep businesses running and children looked after.

So much for all being in this together.

Why not offer to swap with the parents and you can go and try to homeschool their children for 8 hours a day whilst they do your job. Then we’ll see who is getting the shitty end of the stick.

Sounds like you are doing an amazing job OP and your company is very lucky to have you. It’s so hard re the infertility as that adds an extra pang to the situation. Life is terribly unfair sometimes. Sounds like you are not a key worker, as your colleagues are at home with their kids rather than them being at school, however you and your colleagues are keeping the economy ticking over as best you can and we are going to need great companies after this is all over to rebuild the economy. Hope the atmosphere improves soon and in the meantime maybe look at ‘up-managing’ techniques to try to manage your bosses? 💐

@MintyMabelbut they aren’t her children?! Plus that is also rather tactless. Do you talk to homeless people about your house only having 3 bedrooms

I am still intrigued about all colleagues being off, they can’t all be single parents or have partners who are key workers. Logically speaking they must be or some would be at work. I’m not querying OP’s honesty, more her colleagues

What your management doing is shit. It's easy to blame parents but it's actually the management. I'm infertile too and have been treated like crap over the years for not having children as well so I get it. It doesn't help, when you're working so hard doing things you don't know how to do properly in a toxic atmosphere to then be dismissed as moaning and whinging and - worse, childish. We are all allowed to moan about our circumstances- there are already loads of threads on here by parent doing just that. How about a bit of understanding and kindness for the OP and people like her? After all her working is allowing parents to stay home so really they should be thanking her.

I've only just returned to this post, as I've been working flat out and am exhausted. Some disappointing replies... some of you need to re read my post. As I said I am not resentful to my co workers without childcare. However some of my co workers are (resentful) and it makes for a bad atmosphere. So please don't tell me to grow up when as i said, I just want to go in and do my job. Thanks for the helpful replies

(that some of you , at least, sent)

El, not all are off, some are single parents who share with their exes. A fair amount of parents are still here (and some of those are resentful too, it's not just the childless)

If I’m at home I don’t get paid it’s hard to imagine different

Still going to work as I’m early years and can’t afford not to

It's non essential retail, most cannot work from home. Some are posting on FB re jollies at the seaside, that's what is getting backs up with some people

They are on full pay at home. My company prides itself on being a family one

Axis, I haven't been whinging and moaning. I'm happy to support others and have been going to work in a negative atmosphere with a positive one... not easy when morale is low. My post is about others whinging.
I don't have children to worry about?? Well, no. But being infertile isn't exactly a barrel of laughs either! I've been suicidal in the past over it.

Some people really need to read before commenting

It's shit for parents, too. My DH is doing his best to work from home, whilst having to look after our adopted DDs with attachment issues, DD1 will be having her 11th birthday next Saturday, but emotionally she's much younger and she has SEN and gets hyper.

Oh, and I have what's almost certainly COVID-19, and have been very ill, though it hasn't been diagnosed and would be considered a moderate rather than severe episode, as I haven't been in hospital. So I've been staying away from them for obvious reasons.

So tell me, what else can he do? Thankfully, he works for the LCC and they are supposed to work from home if they can. But it irritates me that his colleagues would think he's just having fun. Believe me, he would far rather be at work.

Scabby, I'm not a fool, as can see the bigger picture and am helping all I can. As I said, it's not me complaining...
However, your looking after chicken has given me a much needed laugh!

Thankyou. Scmabel, and to everyone that actually bothered to read my OP and not make spiteful or uncalled for comments. Yes it does feel like a 'punishment' as times as have had 3 decades of having the last dibs on holidays, working all the Christmas, bank hols, weekends etc. However I have always sucked it up. So please,, don't ask me to suck it up (as someone said)..I always have... and have not been resentful, just accepting with a resigned sigh... that's just how it is. (and usually not even a resigned sigh..it's just the norm in my working life... I've also offered to help out parents, many many times... )
I have also called out certain co workers in the last few days re moaning about those at home. Although it's hard to say that to the parents working. They do see it as 'Disney holiday'.

They are on full pay for up to a month, as are asthmatics and others who are v much at risk. It's up to the individual company.

Manager is off for a month (not because of childcare)

I would tell your boss that you don’t feel well, have underlying health issues and won’t be working more than 5 days per week from now on.
It’s far too stressful op and you don’t now how long they will try and get to work extra hours.
If you are working 7 days, why aren’t those not working working weekends?
Of course there might be childcare issues, but anyone who isn’t single can work around their oh working pattern.
What do these parents usually do come 3pm, who has their children then?
Could they go into work at 6pm and do some hours then is that possible ?
Can they work a few hours each day?
I’m still working full time those with childcare issues have been asked if they can alter their work pattern even if it’s to do less hours than then usually do.

I'm so sorry OP💐
It's just wall-to-wall 24/7 devil and the deep blue sea ☹️😳

@EL8888

Children are a lifestyle choice

Yes, that's true, and my DH and I chose to apply to adopt our DDs. But they would ordinarily be in school at the moment as it isn't the school holidays. This isn't the school holidays.

We're in a pandemic. Nobody chose to be where we are. I can tell how stressful this is for my DH, trying to work whilst entertaining our DDs, because I'm not well.

Children are a lifestyle choice, but going down with COVID-19 isn't. My DH didn't sign up for this either. In fact, no one signed up for this, we're just coping the best we can with these shitty circumstances.

Just read your update. Your boss is off!!!!!
Then stop do any extra hours.
What an absolute CFer!!!!
As for not getting your desired holidays no, stop being a doormat.

Argumentative, they know about my underlying condition. It's not a contagious thing. It affects my whole body mentally and physically . My manager said they know I've been unwell recently (had test results that tell me things have got worse... medication has changed and I'm due to be re tested now to see if improvement but obviously doctors are closed, and I'd be keeping away anyway as I'm not urgent) but that they need me to work and can I be flexible and do extra hours if needed. But if I display any symptoms of covid I don't come in and alert them immediately, and isolate for 14 days

Yes my boss is off as a chainsmoking asthmatic

You have as much right to have summer holidays as anyone else, although tbf now my dc are older I really don’t want time off on school holidays.