Resentment building up at work re parents / non parents

[alltoomuchrightnow]

In my work place, the parents with no emergency childcare have been sent home . Obviously they have no choice on this as can't bring their kids to work.
The childless (me included - or those with older kids) are to stay and work unless we display any symptoms or are firmly in the at risk category.
As far as we know, all the parents and kids so far are fine - healthy and isolating. (so called, as FB says different for some!)
The resentment amongst my co workers is huge. The parents are at home on full pay. We are having to do some really crappy jobs (extra jobs) with a limited work force. We are all having to do jobs completely outside our normal remit. Things we have no training for , no experience in.
The atmosphere is awful. I am in no way resentful to my co workers who are parents as we know this is a crazy situation, but none of us working feel valued. My boss also knows I have an underlying health condition but as I don't display any worrying symptoms she said they need me to be there 'because the parents cannot be'. I actually want to work. I couldn't stand being at home, and want to keep busy (we are no longer working with the public...we stopped that). But it's so toxic. My co workers are moaning all day. Whereas I was accepting of the situation I'm now feeling very negative. My employers have made us feel we are doing a 'special' job to support the parents, but in fact this has been the case my entire working life. (nearly 3 decades) in terms of parents always had priority, in whatever job I had. Of course this is a situation no one could ever have foreseen.
All i want to do is just go in each day and do my job, go home. I know everyone has a right to moan and be pissed off but morale is so low. Don't know how to switch off from it especially when my colleagues don't understand why I WANT to be there. They say it's unfair the others are being paid to be at home watching Disney with the kids while we are doing horrible work in a stressful situation. That the parents can go shopping when they want, they have an advantage over us, etc. Can walk the dog etc while we are working anti social hours. And will all be doing extra hours in the weeks or months to come. (I've already been doing mainly 7 days a week for months, and am exhausted)
If I carry on listening to it all I'm going to start feeling resentful too and I don't want that. It's not me and I want to keep our team going as best we can.
Not really asking for a solution here as don't see one! just needed to vent a bit

Or perhaps you suggest that they offer to look after the children for coworkers while they work. I suspect 8 hours with children on lockdown will make them realise that working is by far the better option.

Like others said nobody finds this fair
We all have to suck it up.
I have friends who are still having to pay full time childcare whilst entertaining toddlers and working from home.
I am paying four sets of private school fees whilst home educating
The lack of social contact will be awful and I would rather go to work
I am shocked at what you describe in your workplace as in mine I was overwhelmed with how supportive everyone is to each other, regardless of their circumstances. You need to get your senior management team to sort the resentment out and give some pep talks.

Op I think you need to look at the wider picture here, these are extremely difficult and extraordinary times most people just want their normal lives back

Why don't you turn it into a joke next time someone complains, in a shared way? This is a dreadful time for everyone and moaning is only making it worse. People really have to lighten up

Low moral is to be expected at this time due to stress and worry. It also infectious (forgive the pun). Is there anyway you can buddy up with someone and come up with some ideas to raise it, this can be infectious too.

Have the radio on if you don't normally, have more short breaks and do something daft during them. Get a takeaway delivery in. Basically all support each other through this instead of bringing each other down.

I don't think OP's employer has helped the situation by making it so easy for the parents to have this time off, effectively meaning its company takes the hit for all the childcare, where many children will have another parent working elsewhere who doesn't have to chip in and help at home.

My employer has made it clear that if we are in sole charge of a small child we cannot be working. DH is a key worker so he must work. He and I are looking at how we split the week, work different days, work different parts of the day to do the best for our employers and clients, and our children.

This situation reminds me of when it is always the ae parent who takes time off when a child is sick. Ome company struggles and the other has no impact.

People are always a bit envious of any perceived injustice.

At my work people doing my level of work have been told to wfh. Which we often do/did before all this anyway. I have no reason to be in my office unless for a face to face meeting and they’re all cancelled.

The admin staff have kicked off. So now we’ve been told to come and work in the building as it’s not fair we work at home of admin staff are coming in. To be honest the admin staff can do their jobs from home as well! But rather than go that way, they tell us to come In.

A colleague pointed out Boris has said work from home if possible, etc and got short shrift from manager. I’m pretending I haven’t seen the email!

In my job 3 out of the 5 went on holiday very recently despite warnings. All 3 are childless. All 3 are now isolating and it is left to me and another to pick up the pace despite now having all 5 at home. I'm not even thinking about it. Just have to get on with it.

I'm worried about this myself. I wfh but I am a single parent and will be allowed to take extra breaks as my child will be at home . I'm worried my colleagues will think I'm getting special treatment but what can I do ?? I would much rather he was in school of course!

I think it would be more than fair to talk to your boss and say that the morale and moaning is depressing you. They need to give a better pep talk about being positive. Or how about next time someone is moaning just tell them bluntly that their negativity is not welcome. If the atmosphere was better it wouldn’t be as bad?

I'm sorry op everyone has they're struggles through this crisis

Bad timing to moan at present but can say practically every job I've had parents get priority over non parents always leaving non parents with the shit deal.

If those at home are getting 80% pay could you be paid an extra 20% to compensate? Suggest that because you are right it’s not fair

Anyone staying home is helping this crisis hugely.
Your colleagues are absolute dick heads.
We all have worried in this situation and it won’t be easy for anyone.
I’m in isolation with my kids for 14 days as I’m following the advice.
I’ve never had a day off sick at work.
I’ve now been told I’m a key worker and I really don’t want much children in schools risking catching this virus.
I feel sorry for the teachers and the overworked NHS staff and carers and I feel desperately sorry for the vulnerable who contract this virus because of muppets who can’t follow simple advice.

I don’t feel sorry for idiots who manage to feel envy or hard done by in this situation because some parents had to go home to look after their chicken.

You’re a fool if you can’t see the bigger picture.

This is a wartime like situation. We just have to pull together
I'm NHS my child has grown up and left home and I live alone. Therefore I know I'm going to get the risky stuff and be working longer hours than others. I just see it as a job that needs to be done. It will be over soon. I miss my cat though and she misses me on these long days.

Chicken?? Children!

YANBU

Extremely unfair. You should be paid more to compensate for the extra work you are doing. You are funding their childcare.

I am a single parent and I am paying for a childminder atm.

I have never asked to receive special treatment for having kids as it is my personal life. I’m always so irritated when my colleagues cite children as an excuse to do less at work - particularly when they have two incomes or a stay at home partner ... children are a personal lifestyle choice.

What about the families with another parent? Are they doing half of the load? Just wondering if all your co-workers are being fair or taking advantage.

Have you actually said to the people in work that you feel the constant chat about it is affecting morale and maybe you should all try and not talk about it.

My goodness your work colleagues sound a shocking bunch.

Social distancing as much as possible is to keep you all safe, limiting numbers and work and contact with people with children who are spreaders will help everyone including your co-workers.

Those children who are being looked after now will be the ones paying taxes in the future which will pay your co-workers pensions and health service costs when they are in their old age. Perhaps you could point out that the workers who have children are needed for everyone’s future.

Can you where earphones and listen to some music??

I am a single parent and I am paying for a childminder atm

And what happens when that CM has to self isolate or is told by her regulator that she cannot offer the service currently?

Amazing how different people are in different companies. I had a lovely text from a colleague yesterday offering his and his teams help if I need any support on my projects as I'll be working from home with a DD off school.

I was very touched.

This is a shitty situation for EVERYONE, no one is having the easier ride. Overnight I have become a full time SAHM and still expected to be a full time working parent, expected to still work full time from home, whilst looking after my two young children. The advice I've been told is I am expected to do all my work when the children are asleep?! We could all gripe, or we could all look at the bigger picture and instead of winging at one another basically get on with it.

Schools are shut. What the fuck else are they supposed to do? Don't blame the parents, ffs. Whinge whinge whinge. Your colleagues are twats.

For households with two parents at home, they should be sharing childcare so working part time, that's what's happening at our office.

Lots of nasty replies further upthread from saintlike people who haven't read the OP properly. It's a shame their utter benignity doesn't extend to a poster who's only trying to get on with things in a frustrating situation.