Resentment building up at work re parents / non parents

[alltoomuchrightnow]

In my work place, the parents with no emergency childcare have been sent home . Obviously they have no choice on this as can't bring their kids to work.
The childless (me included - or those with older kids) are to stay and work unless we display any symptoms or are firmly in the at risk category.
As far as we know, all the parents and kids so far are fine - healthy and isolating. (so called, as FB says different for some!)
The resentment amongst my co workers is huge. The parents are at home on full pay. We are having to do some really crappy jobs (extra jobs) with a limited work force. We are all having to do jobs completely outside our normal remit. Things we have no training for , no experience in.
The atmosphere is awful. I am in no way resentful to my co workers who are parents as we know this is a crazy situation, but none of us working feel valued. My boss also knows I have an underlying health condition but as I don't display any worrying symptoms she said they need me to be there 'because the parents cannot be'. I actually want to work. I couldn't stand being at home, and want to keep busy (we are no longer working with the public...we stopped that). But it's so toxic. My co workers are moaning all day. Whereas I was accepting of the situation I'm now feeling very negative. My employers have made us feel we are doing a 'special' job to support the parents, but in fact this has been the case my entire working life. (nearly 3 decades) in terms of parents always had priority, in whatever job I had. Of course this is a situation no one could ever have foreseen.
All i want to do is just go in each day and do my job, go home. I know everyone has a right to moan and be pissed off but morale is so low. Don't know how to switch off from it especially when my colleagues don't understand why I WANT to be there. They say it's unfair the others are being paid to be at home watching Disney with the kids while we are doing horrible work in a stressful situation. That the parents can go shopping when they want, they have an advantage over us, etc. Can walk the dog etc while we are working anti social hours. And will all be doing extra hours in the weeks or months to come. (I've already been doing mainly 7 days a week for months, and am exhausted)
If I carry on listening to it all I'm going to start feeling resentful too and I don't want that. It's not me and I want to keep our team going as best we can.
Not really asking for a solution here as don't see one! just needed to vent a bit

I wonder whether any of those who have lectured the OP about how hard parenting is right now, have noticed that she has also said that she is infertile and therefore childless and not by choice? There are some very callous responses on here when OP asked for help in dealing with her colleagues and morale at work.

I am sure this growing resentment will spread. Some workers will be doing nothing from home (but still getting paid) whereas others will be working extra hard for their money.

It's not fair but life seldom is...I know that's not a solution though.

we are all in a dreadful situation and the selfishness displayed by some is shocking and has put all of this 'be kind' drive on the back foot. Prior to CV there were regular posts arguing about some selfish parents always getting first dibs on holiday slots including bank holidays etc. There is no solution

When will people realise there is a PANDEMIC going on. Everyone will have to do things differently. There is no one to look after these children.
ps I don't need childcare either and I'm doing extra shifts (36 hours this week) but I'm just getting on with it and realising it will be over at some point.

Its crap for morale when people feel they're treated differently. Your management must not damage your health through overwork or stress, whether by taking on temps or by giving work from home parents a limited amount of work if they can. But a bigger part of their role is to get everyone to buy in and feel appreciated by acknowledging the extra work different people are doing, that goes a long way.

I have a bunch of colleagues who bitch and moan about every perceived difference or slight. It is completely toxic and was making me hate the job. I've felt a lot happier since I disengaged from them.

@AxisOfDick
What a load is self pitying crap.
Op, you have to suck it up
You have a job
You have no kids to worry about
Like others you do not have months ahead of home education when you have paid out fees

Spiteful, much?
And a lack of reading comprehension.

It is the OP's work colleagues who are moaning. So she isn't being self-pitying
The OP isn't childless by choice so your comment was beyond nasty

And I really don't think there will be that much pity out there for those who have paid fees and will now have to 'home-educate' like everyone else. That's a pretty teeny-tiny worry.

Of course, one solution would be for those workers who are diligently continuing to work to be paid a bonus at the end of all of this. But then those who've been paid during this period to do nothing would still complain.

OP, is your underlying condition one of the ones listed in the government guidance? If so, you should push your employer more to accept that you need to stay at home.

Your whinging colleagues sound annoying though. Is the job that you are doing something that people fee is important in this current crisis? It’s obviously not in the keyworker realm or childcare would be available, but is there anyway to motivate people by having a think about how great it is that the company does have the ability to keep going and provide whatever product or service you make to the public right now?

@FallonSwift agreed!

Whingeing people should stfu. Tiresome twats. I think I’d be buying myself a pair of ear mufflers and telling people not to get within 2 metres of me .

Your colleagues sound pathetic. This is a global pandemic, a (hopefully) once in a lifetime crisis. We all have to act quickly and work together, not bitch about who’s doing what.

And anyone who thinks being at home with their kids think again. Our office is closing this week but a skeleton staff is required to remain. I have begged my boss to let me come in!

Of course, one solution would be for those workers who are diligently continuing to work to be paid a bonus at the end of all of this. But then those who've been paid during this period to do nothing would still complain

Yep. And have first dibs at holidays and so on.

I'd rather be at home with kids than putting myself at risk each day and I bet most parents on this site would also - hence defending a completely unfair scheme.

Parents shouls split childcare 50/50 (bet it's mainly women staying home) and another option could be to mind each others kids and come in on a rota system. Bet they won't do that though - too nice, comfy and safe at home while others do all the work and take all the risks.

Well, they could be entitled to nothing if they were self employed, or like us and both working shifts around each other full time AND being teacher to our kids too. Or they could be frontline workers who not only have to face the increased risk of infection, but also risk their kids getting infected and bringing it home from school.

I get the risk of being in an office. I don't agree with that, but it could be worse too. I think what this boils down to is your employer not being flexible.

YetAnotherSpartacus - the large numbers of parents who are asking schools to look after their kids because only one of them is a keyworker suggests to me that there are plenty of people who would rather be out working and risking their health, their children’s health and the community’s health, than staying at home. People are scared and confused and acting in simultaneously irrational and self-centred ways. Humans aren’t very good at reacting sensibly to a looming crisis until hit in the face with it - ie until it’s too late to avoid it, or they’ve been forced to comply with instructions rather than asked to follow advice.

People will always complain.

You can't change them - all you have control over is how you respond.

If it's possible to wear ear buds at work then I would plug into some music and ignore them.

Hopefully most people are following advice now, though - and I think more people will over time as they get used to the new reality.

Work shouldn't be expecting you to work out of your skill set and surely they should give people training if they are doing new tasks / roles?
I suppose l have been quite spoilt where l have worked so far and people with children aren't given preferential treatment e.g. wanting first choice of annual leave etc. But l have worked at places with robust grievance procedures
Why is everyone with children not at work? They can't all be single parents or have partners who are key workers surely? Management needs to figure out what work the people at home, can do at home

My work are arranging for my desktop computer and 2 massive monitors to be brought home so I can work from home and look after a boisterous 4 year old.

I am lucky to have that option but slightly worried how I will work at full capacity and keep my DS busy

My workplace are asking parents to do as much work from home as possible. They recognise they will not be 100% productive and may be working outside core hours but expect them to do what they can.

This means no free ride except for those who genuinely can't do any work at all from home due to thei r role. And they may be asked to do tasks outside their usual role.

Haven't read the whole thing. Too many posts complaining about the difficulties of having children to an op who has infertility. Got kids? Your choice. Yes, it's not always sunshine and roses, perhaps even burdensome on occasion, and yes, you're allowed to complain, but don't complain whilst telling someone else they're not allowed to. And whilst it's difficult to juggle working and parenthood, often, a person's decision to be a parent inevitably affects colleagues (non parents covering for parents due to child-related reasons, priority given to parents for holiday requests etc.).

Just wanted to offer some compassion. Yes the situation is mostly unavoidable and many people are having to step up, but that doesn't mean you arent allowed to vent about a situation that sucks for you. Yes of course there are people worse off, but no matter what you're going through in life, it could literally always be worse, so comparisons are unhelpful.

I'm pregnant after suffering years of infertility. If I were in your shoes, OP, I would feel very sorry myself. I would see staying at home with kids as a perk (even if difficult to manage - I'm a teacher so I understand this aspect all too well). Already feeling hard done by for not being able to have kids, I would feel further punished. I wouldn't want to feel so bitter and sorry for myself, but infertility is a very unfair and difficult situation and resentment is something that needs to be actively resisted.

Wel said, Shmabel!

I’d be pissed off too. A child is like a get out of ‘jail’ free card these days with ‘jail’ being any obligation they don’t want to undertake!

I'm currently caring for DH who, it seems increasingly likely, has CV, trying to keep DS educated and occupied doing all the housework/cleaning that I consider absolutely necessary while also working from home (I'd like to still have a job when this is over) and having symptoms, albeit mild, myself. So yes, I'm clearly shirking any responsibilities I don't fancy doing

@Shmabel l completely agree with what you say. Children are a lifestyle choice. Like OP l am infertile so l can relate to what she is saying

@NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite

I have read the post, thank you very much. And stand by my post.

@GrolliffetheDragon hope he recovers swiftly