Resentment building up at work re parents / non parents

[alltoomuchrightnow]

In my work place, the parents with no emergency childcare have been sent home . Obviously they have no choice on this as can't bring their kids to work.
The childless (me included - or those with older kids) are to stay and work unless we display any symptoms or are firmly in the at risk category.
As far as we know, all the parents and kids so far are fine - healthy and isolating. (so called, as FB says different for some!)
The resentment amongst my co workers is huge. The parents are at home on full pay. We are having to do some really crappy jobs (extra jobs) with a limited work force. We are all having to do jobs completely outside our normal remit. Things we have no training for , no experience in.
The atmosphere is awful. I am in no way resentful to my co workers who are parents as we know this is a crazy situation, but none of us working feel valued. My boss also knows I have an underlying health condition but as I don't display any worrying symptoms she said they need me to be there 'because the parents cannot be'. I actually want to work. I couldn't stand being at home, and want to keep busy (we are no longer working with the public...we stopped that). But it's so toxic. My co workers are moaning all day. Whereas I was accepting of the situation I'm now feeling very negative. My employers have made us feel we are doing a 'special' job to support the parents, but in fact this has been the case my entire working life. (nearly 3 decades) in terms of parents always had priority, in whatever job I had. Of course this is a situation no one could ever have foreseen.
All i want to do is just go in each day and do my job, go home. I know everyone has a right to moan and be pissed off but morale is so low. Don't know how to switch off from it especially when my colleagues don't understand why I WANT to be there. They say it's unfair the others are being paid to be at home watching Disney with the kids while we are doing horrible work in a stressful situation. That the parents can go shopping when they want, they have an advantage over us, etc. Can walk the dog etc while we are working anti social hours. And will all be doing extra hours in the weeks or months to come. (I've already been doing mainly 7 days a week for months, and am exhausted)
If I carry on listening to it all I'm going to start feeling resentful too and I don't want that. It's not me and I want to keep our team going as best we can.
Not really asking for a solution here as don't see one! just needed to vent a bit

I became a parent only recently and I can see both sides - how it may seem unfair to those without children and how parents are not given an 'easy way out'. As others pointed out - what are the alternatives? Have parents work and leave kids (including infants and toddlers) alone at home? Or stop paying the parents (how are they going to feed the children and put a roof over their heads)?

The idea up-thread about allocating some work (if possible) to parents to work from home is good. Both my DH and I work from home full time -- true, it is a bit easier for us as our child is only a baby so no massive entertaining/learning involved, but I am sure if work is not strictly on-site that it is doable for others as well.

In terms of atmosphere - perhaps point out that there is really no third option but to let parents stay at home and propose giving them some work to do from home?

It's not that child free 'dont count', it's that logistically their children can't look after themselves. If it makes you feel better about them getting full pay to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads; thousands (if not millions?) of parents are having to take unpaid leave, for a situation out of their control.

Fuck me, how selfish is this?! You have a job!. Thousands of people almost literally overnight, if they work in hospitality, do not have a job.

You and your colleagues need to grow up.

AxisOfDick

You’ve totally misunderstood the OP.

I feel that OP. I’ll be in school on Monday but with a fantastic team. If they were acting like your colleagues I’d feel the same as you do.

I WILL have to stamp down on my feelings about parents who take the piss though of which I already know of some.

this is a world wide pandemic.
i work with people who are increasingly worried they will have no work to do,
people will have to change roles for some time.

try not to engage op with the negative comments from your co workers. try and find some positive news to focus on

The parents it must be said are not chillaxing watching disney films all day, jesus christ, it is extremely hard work keeping children occupied cooped up inside all day and not able to go out or see friends - for what will be for months and months. I am sure they would rather not be in that position, and would almost certainly find it easier working as you are!!

You need to change your own mindset on this. They are NOT, I repeat having a paid holiday, within a week they will be stretched to breaking point at times, and will be alone in coping with all that comes with children unable to function normally. They may face having very sick children, or being ill themselves with CV. I would try just for a minute to imagine how hard this is going to be for them - rather than just complaining that it is unfair.

It is unfair we are all having our lives turned upside down, but being negative will not help. It will only make things worse.

Celebrate the fact you have some normality in your life, you are going to work as normal, living your life, seeing other people. Many/most of us do not have that anymore. Everything is disjointed and dislocated. I speak from experience, I am on day 8 of isolation, it is not bloody holiday I can tell you!

So have a word with your line manager, they/you all need to buck up and get on with it, no more moaning. This needs to be a team effort, and yes we are all going to feel crap about some aspect of it, but fgs be grateful you are not ill, nor dying in some random hospital all alone, and be glad you are able to live some kind of normal life for the foreseeable.

This is not the moment to be a poor me.

It's shit when staff are treated differently but I think in this case we all have to try and muddle along as best we can, it's strange times. Although I do think this Coronavirus situation has shown just how selfish some people are at our workplace.

I'm having my emails redirected to my phone in case we have to self isolate, we ship worldwide so if there's people out there not effected or working from home I want to be able to at least answer them, it's not much but anything I can do to make sure we have a company to come back too.

I understand that it is frustrating.

Your attitude speaks as if you have no role in this. Everyone has their own part to play to be positive, show dry humour and maintain some wartime spirit! You can influence your co workers. You can put things into perspective for them and you and them.

In life, in quarantine, things are unfair. People have better deals. We carry other people’s loads. Now is absolutely not the time for complaining about it.

Op, I can understand why your colleagues are moaning and it must be miserable but please don’t imagine that working from home is any fun.
I’m a single mum, I work full time for a tech co, am now wfh. Every day last week I did 11 hours working flat out in isolation to meet a govt order. No one to moan at, no-one to say hi to. Now I will be a full time teacher of a fractious 11yo as well - and dinner lady and tech support. I would love to go back to work.

My sister who is a retired nurse, has just received her recall letter.

It’ll take time but we all need to get our heads around this.

Can you wear headphones and listen to music whilst working?

We need to stop asking ourselves “Is this fair?”

The questions that matter for the next few months are

“How will this affect spread?”
“What will be the impact on our health service?”
“Do we really need this?”
and possibly
“Is this too much to ask of anyone?”

I imagine that all non keyworkers will be told to stop work within a week anyway.

Why are they on full pay?
Nhs staff who have to go off if no childcare provision are on no pay

I agree re @nellodee.

@Helspopje that depends on the employer

I feel for you OP. Having to work extra hard and cover for people who can’t be there is probably inevitable at the moment. The lack of morale and feeling unappreciated isn’t inevitable though. That’s a management problem.

My DS works for a massive corporation and currently everyone from the London offices are WFH. They have established compulsory 45 minute group conference calls every day where the teams don’t discuss work but chat, share jokes and photos, play games and generally let off steam. It’s the long distance equivalent of chatting around the water cooler. I thought it was silly and a bit fake when DS first mentioned it but he seems to enjoy it and is definitely less tense and anxious when it finishes and it’s preventing the sort of toxic ‘us and them’ culture you are describing.

You need to talk to your Manager so she or he can stop those moaners, it's starting to affect you.

Also @Helspopje there's likely more childcare available for key workers.

My childminder has closed for my son.

And if you are in a non essential job and have underlying conditions, please do everything you can to stay home. Not just for yourself but so that you do not end up using a precious intensive care bed when you didn’t need to leave the house at all.

I’m not blaming you and I know bosses can be absolute shits, but you must stand your ground as much as possible.

I know you would rather work OP but you must really not if you have an underlying condition. It is not an option as if you get ill you are likely to require an intensive care bed and as there is a shortage, you won't get one. Look around the world at the reports as you see even in countries with much more beds than the UK they are rationing them.

If your employer refuses to understand this put it to them in financial terms - all employers by law have to have various insurances to protect their workforce. If they make an employee work when the government states they are in a category who shouldn't be and that employee dies, then their insurer will cause them problems and they may find they can't afford their insurance so will go out of business.

I get single mums can't work, but those with two parents could share the load, even if one works early and one does late where possible?

Grow up OP. No one wants to be in this situation but we are all doing the best we can

I am a nurse with children, I have asthma, I am just about to go to work.
I know it is going to be hard for everyone, staying at home with children for months will be no picnic either.
We all have to try and make the very best of it, we have no choice.

The resentment amongst my co workers is huge. The parents are at home on full pay. We are having to do some really crappy jobs (extra jobs) with a limited work force. We are all having to do jobs completely outside our normal remit. Things we have no training for , no experience in.
The atmosphere is awful. I am in no way resentful to my co workers who are parents as we know this is a crazy situation, but none of us working feel valued...it's so toxic. My co workers are moaning all day. Whereas I was accepting of the situation I'm now feeling very negative. My employers have made us feel we are doing a 'special' job to support the parents, but in fact this has been the case my entire working life. (nearly 3 decades) in terms of parents always had priority, in whatever job I had.

Y'all need to get over yourselves.

Seriously.

Tell your co-workers to STFU.

Millions of people are not going to have any jobs at all by the end of the month.