Anyone else teary tonight

[StealthPolarBear]

It's not like me. It's just hit me.

I feel very frightened tonight. I am a coper, But it has hit me today. I have food (for a few days), a DH, I can wfh and get paid, no kids to worry about - but suddenly I am scared. Why isn't there a lock down? Why aren't they doing something about the panic buying? I am usually quite a pragmatic person but I just feel despair at the moment. Those elderly people faced with empty shelves, the NHS workers not properly protected and people are still going to pubs and thinking they can do what they want. I worry about those people who have lost their jobs, how will they manage. The Unknown's - timescales, will I get it, will my loved ones, will there be a second wave, if we get it under control what if other countries don't and they visit here and it will start over again....

This situation will have repercussions for years. It will bring out the best in some people, but mainly it is bringing out the worse. The societal ramifications are huge. I worry there will be social unrest.

All those businesses that will go under. Meanwhile we are told to use the corner shops where there is a lot of profiteering going on, £30 for 9 toilet rolls anyone. Let's hope they get their comeuppance.

My real fear is Boris. Where is the leadership. God knows I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now, but how on earth have we ended up in this position. And then Trump. And will this happen again around BREXIT? So many worries. Want to throw duvet over my head and block it all out.

Thanks for listening. My DH has gone full fingers in his ears and has been burying his head in the sand for weeks....he is snoring now. Not bothered, although he wobbled a bit when he couldn't buy any beer tonight......

I'm really trying to hold it together for my husband and children, but inside I'm terrified. I'm so scared I'm going to lose many people that I love. And I feel so terrible for all those who have less than I do. Those who couldn't 'stockpile' and are now faced with empty shelves. Those who have nobody to look out for them.
I am much, MUCH more frightened of my fellow humans than I am of covid-19; this outbreak is showing just how many terribly selfish, greedy people we have among us and it's horrifying

I'm so sorry for all your worries.

I don't want to go to bed for the first time ever. Because tomorrow will come sooner.

The older ones are staying on at their uni digs (for now). The youngest I've pulled out of school today. We've been prepping (big shout out to the Preppers - a million thanks from this lurker) so will need just fruit and veg, milk and bread going forward.

I've delivered cash to elderly rellies today (they will get deliveries from their village community but will need to pay).

My mum's dementia nursing home closed to visitors last week, like others on here I doubt she will remember us after 12 weeks or longer. I sent a MD card, anyway.

Husband is sleeping. He's cool and calm, wfh is okay. I am between jobs atm, money isn't too tight (yet).

Anyhoo. Mild ramble ^.

TL:DR version - nope haven't cried yet mostly because frozen with fear.

/end

Ive been crying on and off since Saturday.
Just the massive scale of this situation is weighing down on me so heavily, the realisation that our lives have changed.
Im lucky that i will still be getting paid something but i still have to go to work serving fuckwits.
I dont think my anxiety will allow me to work and i dont know where that leaves me money wise.
My son is an angel, ive kept him home from school today because if i do have to work he will be going to my ex and i dont know when I'll see him again after i drop him off.
Hes worried and scared but so good, hes done maths work today, reading, and helped me around the house as he always does. Im scared my mental health means i won't be able to give him what he needs over the coming weeks and months.
Hes been asking for a MacDonalds since last week and now i wish id just taken him for one.
Reading threads about pictures and letters for nhs staff and old people got me thinking about writing a letter to my grandad, hes only 5 minutes away but the thought of never seeing him again is just breaking my heart.
The thought of all the things i would write to him in a letter, all the thanks and love i want to give him, just seems so hard and so small compared to everything he has done for me in my life. I will write it but i dont think ill be strong enough for a couple of days.
I want lock down, at least it will give some certainty and routine and my mental health could begin to recover.
All this not knowing is killing me.

Same. I was holding them back because I felt a bit stupid but now know it's quite normal so thanks x

I wonder how many marriages will survive social isolation

I'm worried about how many wives in abusive relationships will survive.

I cried last night too. We are in the midst of house refurbishment and most of our kitchen is removed except the cooker. Floors all up and dust and bags of stuff everywhere. Bathrooms are just finished but last night I told husband that I can’t carry on. We have different workmen booked over the next 8 weeks, elections, floor fitters and then the kitchen. Been saving for years for it all.

With the kids now off and trying to WFH I just want to shut the door and try and stay calm. We are postponing the rest of the work and will tell everyone today. Letting people down is awful as will affect their income too.

I look at the dusty floors and exposed pipes and cables and it just doesn’t matter, we are safe and well and incredibly lucky right now.

Thank you so much to everyone who can’t WFH and out working and holding stuff together.

I had to tell my two children by video call this evening I don't know when I'll be seeing them in person again. They live with their dad, whole other story, and I see them 4 days a week usually. I'm a home carer and their dads a TA so he's off from tomorrow. My partner works in the hospitality industry so will be losing his job anytime. I need to be able to work to support us. I knew last weekend this decision was likely to become a reality and had spoken to the kids about the possibility. But actually having to tell them I don't know when I'll be able to hug them again is heartbreaking. I know there'll be other people going through the same or similar and that helps a bit. But there were tears last night, more as I type this and more to come x

It’s a really horrible time, but it will pass, every day of isolation is one day less to go, handhold to everyone suffering, look after yourself & the elderly & vunerable, we will get through this.

Watching dd year 6 realising all the things that won’t happen for her and her quietly sobbing. Just utter shit.

I've been fine and positive through this but yesterday at work watching the class of 5 year olds whooping with joy in the sunshine at a simple outdoor game I had to hold back tears... most of these children have chaotic home lives and school is their safe haven where they are guaranteed a hot meal, structure and safety. After being spoken to by HT who explained school will close, one little boy ran off sobbing. We don't know what provision will be made for these kids yet

Also very teary here. Life feels so damned fragile. I'm a single parent and it looks like I'm going to have to continue to go out to work. I know I'm lucky that my job is secure. Can't control my fears and been having lots of panic attacks. I just want to go to sleep and for it all to be over. I'm honestly not sure I can get through this. Feels like there will be no help though as medical facilities will all be directed towards The Virus. Struggling.

Sorry everyone. I was trying to reply to individuals but for you all.

One reassurance I hopefully can provide, people have mentioned missing colleagues and the fun thet have at work. We all wfh more often than not and you do build up t that, remotely. I have one colleague I call up and have a laugh with (as well as discussing work related stuff) and another where we share chats and rants on messenger. We also discuss personal stuff and support one another. It might not be the same but it's already my new normal and it's great.

I thought I was doing ok until I went shopping after work last night. There was nothing on the shelves, and although we have food in I needed things for DS2 who is autistic and when he’s stressed (like now!) his diet becomes very restricted, as in mostly bread products. There was nothing, not even flour or yeast to make my own. I’m worried about him as it is since he’s really not coping, so the thought of not being able to give him his go to foods was upsetting; I had a moment in the car before I set off home. I’m an HCP so I will be continuing to work throughout and if DHs work closes he’ll be at home with the kids and not able to take them to the shops early enough as DS2 does not cope well in supermarkets. I just wish people would calm down with all the panic buying, I mean how much bread and stuff can you possible eat before it goes off? How full are their freezers now?

I cried on the way to work yesterday and that’s not like me at all. I’m a midwife and the whole uncertainty of what’s going to happen is scary, I could be redeployed anywhere at anytime. Also my 23 yo DS has decided to remain in London as he has health anxiety and is safer where he is. His uni is closed and he and his flat mate are self isolating so he figures he’s less likely to catch it there than here where he’d be sharing a flat with a frontline NHS worker and a child attending school alongside the children of other NHS workers. Catching the virus scares him more than ‘lockdown’ so he’s staying out. Logically I think he’s right but he’s my baby and I’d prefer him here where I can see he’s ok

Sending my year 6 dc off today with her not knowing it's her final day in her primary uniform. Only 8 kids are attending in her class, her teacher already off sick. She's excited about choosing the colour of her leavers hoodie and asked if she could wear it to the leavers assembly. I will plait her hair for the last time as a year 6 today and will tell her to thank all the teachers and office staff and dinner staff. She has no idea it's the end of an era for her and she won't see any of her friends in the classroom again. I'm hoping and praying school reopens in July, even if it's a week. We've been going to that primary for decades, all my dc went there. We know all the staff and have made friends. I'm thankful and grateful for everything in my life I really am, but the sadness just feels overwhelming right now.

Crying again this morning as my year 6 goes off to school with his friends, all together for one last time
And I need to cry, i don't want to hear or read one more fucking "stay positive" platitude, I need to cry and howl and rage at the totally shittiness of the situation and get it out of my system.
Sorry....

I feel sad today. I suppose its the not knowing. My daughter left for school & I thought of all the mornings like this, all the afternoons she’d come back with friends, shouting and laughing, playing awful music and emptying the fridge; I thought of how pleased my son was in his year out job, and the flat share. How we took it all for granted, whether it will ever be the same again and will I see my son again. Maudlin I know, but I am in the vulnerable group.

the thought of not being able to give him his go to foods was upsetting;

I feel your pain witch, I thought I'd made a good job of the shopping under the circumstances, but my ASD teens were less than impressed and I've had to explain to them that they will have to adjust their taste buds and adapt to the food that's available as that's all there is.

to everyone looking after an SEN person through all of this - it's a nightmare and there's so little support.

We over here in Australia feel your pain and cry your tears. We are going through a few hurdles of our own, our schools are still open. Our national exams are cancelled. Our supermarkets are struggling. Our government is hoping we are good at spatial maths 1 person for 4x4m per 100 people. I am a teacher and today I cried and laughed due to Naplan (sats) being cancelled. Just to let you know that we are in this together. An Aussie black country girl sending you lots of love x

Now I’m crying. - being told this is just so we can by stealth kill of the elderly. Yes that’s why we work flat out on minimum pay to care for them. Buying stuff out of our owns pockets for them, because there isn’t enough money in the budget or they don’t have family. ....... but we are using this to kill them off. Ffs - crying with anger.

Yes, I’m feeling low. My husband and I have been apart for over a week. His dad has just been diagnosed with bone cancer and is in hospital waiting for a hospice bed. DH is completely alone, his brother doing fuck all to help.

Annejeanne - hugs. I’m so sorry.

I'm worried about how many wives in abusive relationships will survive.

That too.

And children at risk.