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Run out of toilet roll what can I use?

135 replies

Starbuck8419 · 14/03/2020 16:52

Someone suggested a sock.

OP posts:

HappyHammy · 14/03/2020 17:56

you need a squirty bottle filled with warm water, crouch over the loo and squirt said water up your bot.


BiologyIsReal · 14/03/2020 17:56

When my late husband and I had a new bathroom suite he insisted on having a bidet. I was Hmm. Now I think he was genius.


spiderlight · 14/03/2020 17:58

Amazon have plenty of this in stock: Boris toilet paper


Jenasaurus · 14/03/2020 17:58

If its imminent this wont work, but if you arent standing there with your knickers round your ankles as you post, I know local shops, like my one on the corner still has loo roll so did Londis, its the newsagent type ones that have a bit of everything that may have some


PieceOfMaria · 14/03/2020 17:59

Face cloths or bits of old towel cut up to a similar size, and warm water. Keep a lidded bucket/bin by the loo and then boil wash them when you've got enough to make it worthwhile.


vingt · 14/03/2020 18:00

Shower and soap, tissues, kitchen towel. Flannels and wash on a boil wash.


spiderlight · 14/03/2020 18:00

And there's a matching loo brush to complete the set


Bananasandchocolatecustard · 14/03/2020 18:00

Cut up newspaper ( like the olden days).


PieceOfMaria · 14/03/2020 18:01

If you are going to use kitchen towel please do not flush it. You will cause all sorts of havoc and right now that's all we need.


Jenasaurus · 14/03/2020 18:02

I have IBS and go up to 12 times a day so really need something


cloud1183 · 14/03/2020 18:03

I’ve had to by tissues


wasgoingmadinthecountry · 14/03/2020 18:05

This has caused me an injury. I have a cold sore on my lip which is really dry. Do you have a cat? made me laugh so much it split.

I do have a lovely little cat btw before I'm accused of animal cruelty [cat]


Onemorehitandillcrumble · 14/03/2020 18:06

Cut up newspaper ( like the olden days)
Had an old dear say this was what they used in the old days, wonder if the ink will stick?


longcoffee · 14/03/2020 18:06

Get to wickes or b&q - there's huge rolls of blue roll piles up in the decorating aisle!


BodiesMakeForGoodFertiliser · 14/03/2020 18:07


Also some brands colour things blue


Muffinbutton · 14/03/2020 18:07

I thought my husband was mad for wanting a Japanese style toilet fitted a couple of months ago..... now I'm considering charging the neighbours for a go 🤣


Shopkinsdoll · 14/03/2020 18:07

Kitchen roll, baby wipes, but don’t flush them down the toilet though.


fourquenelles · 14/03/2020 18:08

My old gran used to ask the greengrocer for the purple tissue that oranges used to come wrapped in. A step up from newspaper even if it made your bum go purple.


LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 14/03/2020 18:10

Your left hand. It's what is done in some countries. Cue my dad still refusing to accept anything if it's given with left hand.


FreshFancyFrogglette · 14/03/2020 18:10

Normal paper, newspaper, if you're really stuck spare sanctuary towels (expensive way of doing it though). I've been in the situation before, due to poverty not panic buying though. Shops around here got loads, some am not too bothered (yet!!)...


BahHumbygge · 14/03/2020 18:12

The neck of a well-downed goose, held betwixt your legs, according to Rabelais:

“'I have', answered Gargantua, 'by a long and curious experience found out a means to wipe my bum. The most lordly, the most excellent, the most convenient that was ever seen. I have wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a Montero, with a falconer's lure. But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all the torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.'"


LilyPond2 · 14/03/2020 18:12

Another one piling in here to say Do not flush kitchen roll down the loo! I saw a programme about this once and this is at high risk of causing blockages. If (when) it does get really bad with lots of people seriously ill, the last thing we want is people unable to maintain basic hygiene because their plumbing is blocked (with massive delays in sorting the problem because one fifth of the workforc is off sick, and those whose job is to clear blockages are massively overworked due to a load of idiots who have all flushed kitchen roll down the toilet)/


FabulouslyElegantTits · 14/03/2020 18:13

Plenty of options Karen. Plenty!

4cats2kids · 14/03/2020 18:14

In days of old
When knights were bold
And toilet paper was not invented
They used blades of grass
To wipe their ass
And they were quite contented


idontlike789 · 14/03/2020 18:14

lol GrinGrin

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