Run out of toilet roll what can I use?

[Starbuck8419]

Someone suggested a sock.

[Uptheshard]

Leaves .....my 9 year son suggests

[Starbuck8419]

Anus beaker will be my new insult for people

[ElGuardiandenoche]

[4cats2kids]

Anus beaker 😂

[FlakeyLurker]

Has noone suggested yet?? A penis beaker!

[greathat]

Buy it on amazon?

[Starbuck8419]

Pahahaha poop covered snails

[ChardonnaysPetDragon]

Leaves from the garden.

It's quite safe, nettles aren't out yet, Just check for snails, otherwise you'll get done for animal cruelty.

[Jigsawpuzzle]

Get a pedal bin and line with a plastic bag (sorry) Use wipes and kitchen roll and put in bin. We fortunately have a bidet and shower

[Icecreamdiva]

In January I switched from paper loo roll to reusable flannel baby wipes for weeing so I’m ok there.

If the situation gets really desperate I will try and emulate the excellent bum guns you get in Asia and use a water sprayer to rinse off after poos and then dry off with my reusable wipes.

[Starbuck8419]

True

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Any swans knocking about?

[EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall]

I've been eyeing up the very fluffy cat who always follows me to the loo 👀👀👀

[timetest]

Both my grandmothers used to cut up newspapers into neat squares and hang them on a hook in the loo. They would have been amazed that people spend good money on something to wipe their arse with.

[RingPiece]

Shower the shit away

[Starbuck8419]

@SnoozyLou which cat will be the guest ‘towel.’ Ooooh this could be an interesting fight to the death 😂

[PureAlchemy]

I heard a bit on the radio the other day where they were talking about using leaves as an alternative.
Can’t remember which they said were best, but they advised avoiding nettles, thistles and other thorny plants - as if the stings and prickles when you were picking them wouldn’t be warning enough!

But just to reiterate pps, if you’re using anything like kitchen roll, baby wipes, newspapers, leafs, bag it and bin it rather than trying to flush it down the toilet.

[SnoozyLou]

actually have two!!!! 😂😂

That solves it. One for you, one for visitors

[SnoozyLou]

Guys, it’s a light hearted thread. I’m not at the stage I need to cut up clothes or drag my arse along the floor like a dog. It was meant to make people smile. But thanks anyway!

😆

[LargeGinOnTap]

In the olden days my dad and his family used newspaper. It was one of his chores to cut the paper up into useable squares

[TheFairyCaravan]

There's still plenty of toilet roll on the shelves here. It's a bit thin on the ground in Tesco tbf, but you can stock pile buy it from Wilkos, QD, Lidl, Aldi and the Co-Op.

[dingit]

Someone on my fb feed said shower your arse while singing happy birthday to Boris

[Starbuck8419]

This was still a light hearted joke

[Darbs76]

Message a friend or drive round for some