The very stubborn elderly

[Jocasta2018]

How on earth are we going to get the stubborn elderly to self-isolate?
I know one couple, one has had a massive stroke leading to partial paralysis 15 years ago, various TIAs since then plus a heart attack and smokes like a chimney.
The other, again a heavy smoker, gets every chest infection going round, requiring antibiotics, and has had pneumonia twice in the last 3 years.
Both are 79.
And yet they refuse to change their ways. Out every day, doing the shopping, going to the local towns, having days out.
They have children nearby that can bring them shopping.
They seem to think that if affected, they will get the sort of treatment they received when the major stroke happened 15 years ago. If treatment is going to be rationed, with their problems, I can imagine they'll be last on the list.
I don't know if it's bravado or whether they just don't understand the situation.
Any ideas or do we just let them get on with it?

they are adults, they have access to the facts they can make their own choices and deal with the consequences thereof!

They have free will (still, just about, not quite China where folk get beaten up for violating quarantine).

I half wonder if we might get a protest movement of oldies stamping their feet & refusing to trash the economy merely to 'save' them. Friend joked we tax payers could thank self-sacrificing oldies by paying for them go off & have a grand few days of amazing hols in best hotels, best restaurants in northern Italy.

Bonnevacance, we have not been told to stay indoors yet. If these elderly people get symptoms they are unlikely to feel well enough to gallivant around town so probably will isolate at the point they are contagious. The point of this thread is that younger people are trying to get the elderly to protect themselves by restricting what they do, but most elderly people I know are not to bothered whether they catch this or not.

I'm seeing this somewhat with my parents. They were children during the war and have seen real hardship. We discussed the panic buying of toilet paper on the phone the other day and my Dad seemed to think that all of these stockpilers should just do as they used to do during the war and rip up newspaper to use instead. My guess is that that would probably block drains and sewers, so probably not to be recommended.

Both have chronic underlying health issues (COPD for one and severe osteoporosis for the other).

They are not big socialisers, though they don't particularly want to self-isolate. I can understand it as they just want to enjoy the time they have left as much as possible and don't want to end it in isolation. It is ironic that the measures many of us are now taking are designed to try and protect people like them as far as possible.

I don't live near them. They don't like accepting help or even admitting that they need it until there really is no other choice. They don't do computers at all so can't order stuff online. I think the day might come eventually when my sister and I have to do that for them, but for now they want to keep going out to do their supermarket shopping, go to the library to change their books etc.

I see their point of view. I guess it balances out somewhat though. They are home bodies anyway.

Well that's just lovely that all these old folk are happy to take the chance of catching and passing on covid-19 to other people in their community. How the fuck did they get through two world wars with that selfish attitude?

Pesky old folk going about their business and not doing what the young folk (who are also happy to take the chance of catching and passing on covid-19 to other people in their community, by using public transport, going to shops etc), tell them. Anybody would think that they didn't want to be in isolation.
The elderly do have minds of their own and the majority of them are perfectly capable of making their own decisions. I assume you will now be self-isolating indefinitely so as not to risk passing anything on to other people in your community?

My parents called me and idiot and I’m thinking of wrist case scenario. I said I don’t want them to die. They still didn’t listen.

but most elderly people I know are not to bothered whether they catch this or not
why should we all be staying in then??

It's not just the elderly (I am one). I have been trying to make a person I know understand the dangers and it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. She is in her 50s and has more than one serious health condition. Won't read a newspaper, won't watch the news - she persists in going to the supermarket every Saturday and even though I've told her the death rate she is simply uninterested. I've given up at her utter stupidity.

With my health issues I know I am at risk and am not leaving the house unless I have to. The supermarket delivery man came today. He asked me if I had the virus. He didn't come into the house as usual, everything was transferred from his boxes into bags at the doorstep. I was not asked to sign his machine, he did it and showed me. This seems really sensible.

I assume you will now be self-isolating indefinitely so as not to risk passing anything on to other people in your community?

Actually yes. Indefinitely. Because DD has been immunosupressed and isolated for 4 years. So I don't have a lot of time for anyone whinging about the hardships of self isolating tbh. Because she's been doing it since she got ill and now is terrified of leaving the house at all because of selfish people who only think of themselves.

Meanwhile though her dad is expected to look after other people's children and provide childcare in schools to create herd immunity to protect old people who don't actually give a shit about protecting themselves, and/or enable parents with more important jobs to go to work.

@BonnesVacances, can you answer my question above, please? How would my staying at home help your daughter?

Perhaps by staying at home and not exposing yourself to the virus, you'll be less at risk of catching it and unknowingly passing it onto someone else to do exactly the same. And you'll be less at risk of catching it and ending up in hospital, increasing the burden on NHS and the need for teachers to have to look after healthcare workers so they can look after people in hospital.

*healthcare workers' children

If I get it the last place I’ll be going is hospital.

We are social distancing and have been for 2 weeks. Dh has been home from work for over 6 months due to illness .
His mother booked a coach holiday months ago which would enable her to come this way , stay in a hotel , and for us to collect her , and obviously spend the day entertaining her via going out and about with lots of cafe visits thrown in before taking her back to hotel for her meal and evening entertainment .
I keep hoping they will cancel these types of coach holidays where it is mainly elderly people going on them.
Last night my husband phoned his mum and said to her with everything changing she might find they cancel the holiday but we are self isolating anyway. She will not accept this and is adamant She is still coming . I'm in despair that this will end up as a huge falling out, and she has said it's ok for us because their is 2 of us and she certainly isn't staying at home.

We would have to do this for 3 days .

Older people aren't more likely to catch it (assuming good hygiene etc) they are just more likely to die if they get it - their choice. They will not be spreading the disease more than anyone else. I'm 65 and in good health, I'm taking precautions and if I have to stay in I will, but not yet. I'm more worried about my daughter who is immuno compromised and I worry about not being able to help her.

Im pleasently surprised that my 86 yr old dad with pulmonary fibosis has let my sister order an online shop for them and he has stopped going to church. he is normally very proud and very stubborn and Im so relieved he is being sensible.

Just been to see my granny who said she isn't too bothered if she gets it. She's 89 and what else has she got to do with her life?

I do kind of see her point but I told her that she could maybe transfer it on to someone else and then they die so she should still be careful.
She told me her friend who has just recovered from cancer is still going to Crete because she goes every year, she's 87 and she's just recovered from cancer.

They really don't give two hoots!

I think they are being selfish if they don’t care if they get ill others do.

We don’t live our life for other people. Those who love us are going to be upset, whenever we die.

I'm 70 with underlying health conditions. I'm self isolating as far as I can, hand hygiene etc.

I'm also a very strong believer in quality over quantity. However, I've also experienced breathing problems. I have asthma, copd and have part of one lung removed. Breathing difficulties are very very scary. I'm ok with the thought of dieing. I'm NOT ok with drowning ( because that is what it feels like when you cannot get your breath) it's v v scary mostly for the person experiencing it, but also for family watching you struggle for every breath.at

I neither want to experience that feeling agsin, and I certainly don't want my DD to watch that happen to me.

So, if I have to stay home for three montgs, so be it. Bored is better than dieing a terrible death

I hope I'd cope with prolonged isolation, but I'd be lost without MN for company. I'd have to resort to gardening. I don't like gardening.

That really made me laugh Xing. It sounds like an Aldi ad.

My ILs, in their 80s one with cancer , seem to think it’s all a bit of a joke (apart from the stock market). “You aren’t worried are you” “when are you coming to see us” they went to a lunch party today.