Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

1001 replies

Scorpette · 06/07/2010 18:31

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 14/07/2010 15:41

All the above makes me puzzle further about how a relation of mine managed to inspire himself to study and get a PhD in bovine nutrition.

Headbanger · 14/07/2010 15:46

Har, really?! what is he like?

The odder someone is, the more likely they are to complete it.

Ariesgirl · 14/07/2010 15:49

He's a lovely, normal, blokey, footie-loving, ale-guzzling, grey-haired uncle! That's what's weird.

Headbanger · 14/07/2010 15:49

well that's just downright BONKERS!

Ocarina · 14/07/2010 15:55

Bovine nutrition? Takes all sorts I guess....

Headgirl PhDs definitely extend to fill the time allowed so 2 year extension almost certainly = 2 years longer to do it, as you've realised. I do indeed have one (but didn't get to wear a silly hat and am still slightly bitter about that - things you should check before deciding which university to study at). My subject was human genetics, so a very different experience to yours I suspect - I have huge amounts of admiration for the self motivation needed to do research in a more wordsy subject. I had a lab to go to and colleagues to bitch towork with and test tubes to play with, and funding which enabled me to live whilst doing it all.

I was funded for 4 years, the 1st of which we got to spend playing around in 3 different labs to find one we got on with (great way of doing it, have seen plenty of disastrous supervisor-student combinations over the years), then 3 years to do the thing. I then had to submit within a year of the funding ending (university limit of 4 years to do a full time PhD) and managed it with about a fortnight to spare (having gone off to study other things elsewhere in the meantime which is not a recommended course of action....)

The feeling of achievement when you finally hand the bloody thing in is immense, although quickly followed by collapsing in an exhausted heap. And you seem to've managed what I didn't and are studying something you actually want to carry on doing things with afterwards! (I decided academia wasn't for me, I'm not cleverer enough for starters and couldn't face all the short term contracts for post docs, so ran far far away).

MountTheFairy · 14/07/2010 16:01

Oh Bangy I do know what you mean for the most part, and yes, am familiar with it. I think the obsessivness is what scares me, especially come sprog. Even in this year of MSc I have grown sick of not having proper weekends and holidays because the obsession is relentless and I always feel I should be working.

On the other hand, I do have The Passion, and as you say, I do feel 'hollow' if I do not do it. Or, to explain it better, I think being an architect, I understand the creative competitivness. It took me a while to get over it even at undergrad level: everyone wants to be a famous architect and to build great buildings with their name on it. As you can imagine, that ain't easy to get. I have since looked deep into my heart and realised, I really do not NEED to be famous. (Which also involves sleepless and endless nights of doing competition... much like writing, I imagine, where you do not know how well received the product will be...) BUT architecture is my passion, and I get a lot of meaning for myself from just thinking and writing about it. It's almost like writing innovative stuff is the next best thing from building. Although I have gone down the route of urban sociology / geography, which could lead to a more academic career, but it's all essentially the same theory, the same thinkers, etc...

BUT, I get the competition, and to be honest, I seem to have done better with competition in a workplace. Stupidly ran away from a good job, because I thought I was too young to commit to corporate life. I did sometimes feel shallow doing it. And, shame on me, maybe it is, now ingrained, competitiveness that makes me feel like I would be a looser if I went corporate: if I do not purseue at least an 'intellectual' side of architecture even if I am not famous. What do you reckon Daily Hell would make of this conversation?

Thank you though for all your experience sharing! It is very helpfull in that it confirms my fears . What are your plans for after? Actually, the interesting question is whether it is the success in writing you are pursuing, and whether you would be happy with 'just' an academic career? Or do the two go hand in hand? I came to realise that I could be happy with 'just' an academic career. But will I get it?

In a way, I am slowly deciding for a crapshoot: apply for Phd's and jobs and see which one happens. It's all shite at the moment, as you say. It does, however, seem like a stupid way to decide one's career. I would also need funding, which would make it even more difficult to get a Phd. As for jobs, ALL jobs in my field are non-existant!!

Sorry to have bored you and the rest of the thread! But thank you for your very candid answer. Oooh, one final question, could you have survived a Phd had you had a baybee 2, 3 years ago?

Thank you!

MountTheFairy · 14/07/2010 16:05

Arial that just made me laugh out loud!

What are you up to now, OccieDokie? I think you are right about a lab being easier to deal with on a daily basis, but share the same fears about me own cleverness...

Ocarina · 14/07/2010 16:23

I'm keeping quiet about exactly what I do now because I realised just how identifiable I am given what you know about my location (which isn't all that much). Not that I'm paranoid or anything..... Suffice to say it's nothing whatsoever to do with either science or academia!

StinkyWizzleteats · 14/07/2010 16:27

Thanks for the lovely welcomes ? I had to do some work so couldn?t go on the internet. Can you believe it? So veering off the academical debate one moment...

I think Wizard?s Sleeve is very appropriate ? before starting all this Fertility clinic lark I never would have known there were so many exciting contraptions to put up your vag. Cameras, and balloons and dyes and metal widgets ? I?m sure I could host a bizarre new gameshow up there. They would have to clear the cobwebs/rusting penny farthings/rotting hulk of the Mary Rose away first obviously.

Questionaire eh? (Licks pencil tip and squints to fill in form):

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
    Yes ? although as a West Cuntree Gal I does like a good zider.

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Meow ? just a small cougar, he?s a year younger. I do have 50x the amount of grey hair he has though, even grey eyebrows nowadays.

  1. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Hah! Trick question, it?s obviously none of the above! It?s e) You stab yourself daily with a pointy needle, get a nice lady to peer up your vag with a dildo a couple of times, get your man to wank in a little pot and then turkey baste it where it?s needed.

  1. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

c). In real life: Laugh in a bitter twisted way as I know they are bound to get pregnant within one month of ?not really trying? as they weren?t stressed about it and ?relaxed? about it all. Unless you are a BESH of course ? and then I assume punching and bellowing is prescribed.

  1. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

c) The catamite of a twisted gold robot.

  1. what colour are your walls?
    Half bare plaster falling off in chunks/half cream.

  2. Number of pets?
    One small overweight cat with a bad attitude.

  3. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
    Jeremy Brett (RIP) you know ? he used to play Sherlock Holmes.

  4. Lesbian crush? It would be fun trying to snap Cheryl Cole.

  5. What are your views on camping?

I like it I?m afraid, but it's alright - I have been introduced to luxury self catering cottages and I?m not sure I can ever go back.

  1. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Ebay. Each time I think this will be my last batch I buy. Ha ha ha! Sorry for the smudges and crossings out, I was a bit woozy from my chocolate brownies. Am I allowed to stay? I'll wear a gimp mask for the first week if I'm borderline, but it might be difficult to talk with the rubber ball in my mouth.

MountTheFairy · 14/07/2010 16:47

Ehm, Occie I have no clue how I could even begin to guess your identity! Am I missing something? I probably gave too much info, but am vaguely hoping it would still be very far-fetched to begin to identify me. Or am I missing something again? Please do warn me!

StinkyTit I likes your kind, though I think we really, really need to think about the c*ping malarchy. Hmm. Ok, perhaps you can stay if you never, ever mention it.

Sorry to hear about your bad experience so far. Thanks for the 'special' brownie though. So, IUI in a couple of weeks? How are the white goods?

StinkyWizzleteats · 14/07/2010 16:59

OK MounttheMavisCruet will promise never to mention the C word again. It's a small price to pay for hanging out in here. Yep got my big induction thing to IUI in a couple of weeks, droid started yesterday so hopefully I will be good to go next cycle. Unless I can pull a Chocho or PerfickDrom who I see pulled it out the bag last second stylee.
White goods are very good, it's me who's somehow pissed on my own baby parade. Some of my hormone levels are slightly raised (FSH) but otherwise no problems have been found.

Anyway, I've got to go home now but hopefully the rest of the BESH's will score my questionaire and I'll be allowed a temporary contract to stay. Will try to check in later or see you tomorrow. (C U Next Thursday).

Ocarina · 14/07/2010 17:08

oooh, zider is good. Haven't had any proper west country stuff for ages so if you bring some you can stay! Sorry to hear you're having to head down the IUI route, but hope it brings success.

Mountaintop I'm not worried about you knowing who I am, just paranoid about real life people figuring it out (no-one knows we're ttc and I want to keep it that way). Of course the whole world is reading MN just to find me and so all such precautions are necessary . There's not all that many people do the specific job I do in the area I live in, and none of the others are women of child bearing age so if you knew the setup you'd very soon figure it out. Like I say, me, paranoid?

MountTheFairy · 14/07/2010 17:21

like me nickname.

Are you showing off your knowledge of the BESHes, Pongy? A+ so far!

Fair enough Oc. I am hoping in my case there are plenty of architects in London!

I am also going to stop wasting time and do some work...

Scorpette · 14/07/2010 17:34

Oh yes, WitchesTit, we never mention the evil, ovary-shrivelling c*ping word. Or Tnts. We BESHes will take the long route to a destination rather than go past a Millets (or is that only me? I like your style, Lady. Particularly your suspiciously overeager offers to get bondage-d up, despite us not even having got around to demand it of you yet May I ask how old you are, exactly? We range from Young Crones ("Two things, my Lord, must ye know about the wise woman", etc.) to Wizened Hags (like me). Or MumRa, as I am now calling myself, thanks to you

Bangers, I know exactly what you mean about The Writing being the One Ring. I even hate anyone reading anything of mine, lest they besmirch its sanctity and holy perfection. It'd be like letting a tramp shit on a baby (it's that kind of imagery that will win me the Man Booker fo sho). I realise that this might pose a slight hindrance to my dream of being a top novellist (of literary fiction, of course), but I have to actually write my Novel That Changed A Generation first. Or, indeed, any book at all.

This is my fifth year of being shafted on PhD funding. For the last 2 yrs, the decision has been between me and someone else and they've based the decision on BA results (so unfucking fair - esp. as they said my proposal was one of the best they'd ever seen. That would be a boast if it actually counted for anything). I missed out on a BA 1st by only a few percent and was seriously ill, in and out of hospital, for the 2nd and 4rd years, so it's infuriating that I a) didn't get a first when I would've done had I been well (or offered a cunting Viva - that oversight still smarts after FOURTEEN years) and b) it's now deterring me from getting funding when I know I can bloody do it.
And if one more fucker tells me how 'vibrant' and 'unique' and 'essential' to the canon of Feminist Critical Theory my topic is, but there's no cash for me I will end up getting my Doctorate in prison where I'll be doing time for murder.

I'm depressed now, because I've just realised that not only have I said this before on here, I've said it before a loooong time ago and still have no baybee

Even when I was a kid, I was pleased that I was a born writer, as I thought 'that'll be the perfect job to do when I'm a Mummy'. And it would be, too. I can't have been given a maternal, homebody personality (albeit misanthropic and with a foul mouth) for nuffink, surely?

BlahblahblahMeMeMe

PS Headcase, I got your msg and am insanely You're friends with Jackie Collins? Wow!

OP posts:
Scorpette · 14/07/2010 17:37

PS How do you stretch out 'Cows eat grass' into a whole PhD?

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 14/07/2010 18:02

Mavis Cruet! Mavis Cruet! I loves you already I does Smellie

Casserole · 14/07/2010 18:20

How lovely you all are. I am sitting right next to FIL so this will be quick as they don't know we're ttc!! But just to say thanks for all being so lovely. We've not made any decisions, that's the truth. We'll def try this month, so I'm not going anywhere just yet! And, like gin says, I can't imagine us using contraception, so I don't really know what not trying would look like.

Anyway. I don't know.

ILs staying to Friday (funeral tomorrow) so will be back on over the weekend.

Ginfizzes for all!

TwinkleToes76 · 14/07/2010 19:02

Hello again. I'm feeling remarkably upbeat today which is probably a bit silly and setting myself up for a crash when it possibly goes belly up in the next few weeks. I've taken your advice and booked a private scan for next week (much as it pains me to go private!) as EPU are refusing to scan me before I go away - apparently too soon to show enough growth to take a view on viability. But I don't want that, I just want to know if there is still a heartbeat before I go away. In really exciting news though we have today exchanged on our own little house in Hackney! Hoorah! Just need an ickle baybee to fill our spare room now...

Cass hope tomorrow goes ok.

And hello to Smelly and hello to Choos!

RunLyraRun · 14/07/2010 19:02

Hey Cass - just to say I would be gutted to see you go too - but I don't mind if you have a wee break! Very good of me, I know. I had December off for the boozes and cheeses. And the menkul.

Stinky, that is by far the best opening post I have ever seen on this thread. Welcome. I have but two questions

  1. How long did it take you to craft it?
  2. Were you coached? (I suspect FESH fiddling)
Ariesgirl · 14/07/2010 19:13

Hark at Stinky being dead popular already! Took me ages to be accepted

Hello LyraSilvertongue How are you doing?

Headbanger · 14/07/2010 19:15

Oh fucking GREAT Scorps I was supposed to be having champagne tea with Jacks at the Ritz tomorrow, and now you've splurted our speshul relashunship all over MN she'll sulk for weeks, and I'll have to sell the furs she gave me to pay the gas bill

Headbanger · 14/07/2010 19:16

PS. I am officially in love with StinkyBum. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. The heart wants what it wants

RunLyraRun · 14/07/2010 19:39

IIRC (and I usually do) Aries, both you and HB were clasped immediately and eagerly to our respective buzwams, and yet you kept banging on about being newbies until I told you off. You silly, silly girls. So stick that in your pout and flounce it.

saltyair · 14/07/2010 19:39

Ola chicas!

Hello Pongo - you have had a horrid time of it haven't you? Think you may have found your spiritual home dans la Palais, n'est pas?

TwinkleTwinkleLittleStar Glad you are staying chirpy - fabulatastic news about your new house!! Muchos exciting!

When is private scan? Am crossing everything for you

Scorpette · 14/07/2010 19:40

Who said you've been accepted, RieRie?

Give it up, Bangers. La Collins is never going to write a bonkbuster about a busty, flaxen-haired Academic who will fight down and dirty - with the emphasis on dirty - to get to the top, etc., etc.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.