30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Salad, am jealous that your GP tested your prolactin! Maybe I will change GP (probably not to yours; that would be weird).

FSH is follicle stimulating hormone, it makes an egg develop into a ripe follicle. LH is luteinising hormone, which makes the egg pop out of the ovary. Ideally, you want them both to be low - low means that it is no effort at all for your body to pop those buggers out, a great thwack of hormones is not required. I'm getting this from the back of my head so sorry if not exactly right.

BESH = barren, evil, selfish hags

hahaha, LOVE it. thanks for ALL those acronym explanations!

my GP didnt, she just did the 3 and 21 day tests. the FC have given me the one for all the other hormones which i need to do at the same time as my next 21. but she was really lovely, i was having some weird mid cycle bleeding which freaked me right out and she was very cool about that and then got on the case quick smart with the hormone blood tests and the referral. Quite weird as turns out she went to med school with the registrar i saw today.

thats another thing: is it normal to have an appointment with a consultant but actually see a registrar instead. i am imagining said consultant off delivering a baby by cesarean in a broken lift in a burning building but have probably been watching to much private practice (guilty pleasure ) he was probably off playing golf.

GoddesLyra is the fountain of all knowledge. She can quote NICE guidelines all over the place including ones about skinny people! I love her.

Thanks for visiting my humble thread BESHes and offering your wisdom. Duly noted and digested.

Some women do spot when ovulating. Is cuz they is delicate flowers, innit. And why are you waiting for 9 wks for test results (unless I've read the situation wrong)? I got my D3 and D21 results less than a week after each lot were taken. Remember the Scorpio motto: hassle the fuckers relentlessly till you get what you want/need. There'll be plenny time to apologise for being aggro once the baybee arrives

Thanks GoddessLyra (btw Newbs, Lyra is actually our living deity) for the info on LH - after reading all my actual results earlier, I was worrying about about the LH being low - DURR!

Am off to find Ariel's fred now. Is it in Conception?

Yes tis. I would never dare post anywhere else after a few run ins with horrible, nasty women in Chat and AIBU. Have posted in Pets though. And Baby Names. And Good Housekeeping. Make that quite a lot then

just they told me my next appointment had to be 8 weeks time but they were all booked up so its 9 weeks, so i am guessing thats when i get results. my first round of D3 and D21 came back 'normal' so i'm not really TOO worried enuff to hassle them. I guess i could ring up a week after and get em over the phone. what i REALLY want is the results from DHs jizz count but have no idea who to hassle about that. all a bit of a mess cos he had to go to a diff clinic near where he works and they hadnt sent any of it thru yet. oh well, going to forget about it for tonight, off to watch alive in wonderland and eat some chocolate.

keep well xx

ps feel so honoured to have been conversing with a real live internet deity.

pps - there are nasty women in chat and AIBU? i thought this was all sweetness and light on mn?

2 candles lit here in brizzle. one for twink, one for salty.

at some point i will actually post properly. and read back to 'get to know' the fresh meat new recruits.

smooches, tequila, random violence to all.

Jizz results take a few weeks. Your GP should have all test results, so that's who to ring up. The receptionist wouldn't let me talk to a Doc about TYF's so I made her read the results out to me and I wrote them down and checked em online (confirmed em all proper-like later on with Doc)! She was all 'you're not a Doctor ' and 'but you won't be able to understand them' and I was all 'that's not your concern. If you won't let me speak to a Doctor then this is the only option. Please read them'.

Am I a cow?

PS I am available to hassle Docs and specialists on behalf on other BESHes. I charge Mates Rates too

Missed loads in the last 24 hours, but just want to say I'm relighting the flames here and sending love and strength to all in need, especially twinks and salt.

Missed an apostrophe there Scorps. Go and stand in the corner immediately.

evening all. Twinks and Salty - sending you nice thoughts, sounds like you need them.

Scorps does that mean things are a moving and a grooving for you then? I know the AC route isn't what you wanted to do but at least the IUI is a gentle start. Feel free to towel whip me if that's not the case!!

Cass I know how you feel my lovely. I'm the same position. On the one hand I feel like I should count my blessings and on the other I feel so down about the whole business. All of the people I met when I was PG are now on their second and the longest they took to conceive was 2 months!!! They all now have beautiful bumps and everytime we meet I am the only one sans bump/baby. I dread being told 'ooh you next', 'when are you going to join us' etc. At work too, a colleague has a daughter 3 months older than mini orchid and she is about to drop again. You can imagine how the conversation goes there...Even my health visitor commented that it was about time we went for a second. RAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Mr O had his white goods test this morning. Apparently it went well - whatever that means . We now have to wait two weeks for the results to be posted to us. Was amused to hear that they had 'reading' material on offer. Driod due tomorrow or Sat and the PMT is pretty much at fever pitch here. May resort to munching on pollys twirls if there are any left? (that sounds wrong doesn't it?)

And yes, of course you're a cow! But in a good way

God I must get off the computer and go and get a life.

ramgal that rings so many bells - half the time I weep Real Tears over teeny tiny babygros, the other half of the time I think I might actually be quite relieved, in ten years, that I didn't throw a baby into the chaos of an already chaotic life. I like sleeping. I like two-seater cars. I like having my brain for my own personal use, 100% of the time. And yet I still cry bitterly when someone tells me they're pregnant again.

Totally agree with Cass's feeling of failing, too - failing to do something everyone else seems to do easily is really painful. I find it hard not to let it feel like some kind of Fate judgement on my relationship. It can seem like rest of the world's judgey enough - "ooh, look at them, been together years, no kids. Either they're not having sex, or she's too selfish, or he's not making enough money, there must be a REASON..." My fear is that maybe there IS some subconscious reason I'm not more devastated about the absence of babyfigs, and to be honest, it's sparked some uncomfortable soul-searching for me over the past year or so. Jeez. As if killing your sex life with a thermometer wasn't bad enough...

I stick mainly to the Pets boards too. I may be a BESH but I am an EXCELLENT dogmother.

See you there Figgie. Do you have any cats?

Dur, sorry, took so long with the memememememe that I missed loads of posts. Keeping my lovely hyacinth candle alight for salty and twinks, general wafty vibes for everyone else.

Am I the only one here whose babydaddy hasn't had a white goods test (love that - hee)? Because am starting to think that might be A Clue.

FIIIIIIIIIGGGGGG you picture of elegant beauty, you!

Thought I'd missed you the other day!

No cats, alas - I have two dogs. In fact, I acquired one of them while on this thread, so I suppose that counts as a sort of... birth? While snivelling on the phone to my mum today - my uncle is critically ill, we were having a Moment - I sobbed that I didn't want her and my dad to die before I had children, and she said, 'But FigDog and FigPup are my grandchildren too!' and I howled.

I think she thought she was making me feel better. Actually, she wasn't.

mine hasn't. but we knew that the fridge wasn't broken, as it were.

GGGGGGIIIIIIINNNNNNNN It's so lovely to see you. Hurray for you. I lit my MOST CHIC CANDLE, could you tell?!

diptique, darling?

sorry for sadness xx

I really, really love it when the gin palace takes a metaphor, runs with it, chucks it around, forgets what it originally meant, and somehow it ends up on the MN acronym list.

Fridges away!

Actually I've just been in Pets and am now sobbing over a glass of wine at the tales of poorly and missing moggies and pooches. I'm not surprised that made you howl, Figster - my mum calls my cat her grandkitten in a resigned kind of way and buys her ridiculous presents at Christmas.

God, I'm so over-tired.

Are you two old bosom buddies on about White Goods?

I have lit Guerlain Pamplelune candle for salty and twinks. Yes, Gin, I know you only got tealights, but I didn't mention that they were in Georg Jensen holders, so no need to get jealous.

Figgy, it's fab to see you posting more than once per thread . Have you had lady tests? If so then yes, it's the norm to have jizz tests, as statistically men are responsible for equal amount of babyfail.

Am also with you and Rie and Stew on the confusion about whether I am suffering barren-sadness or general failure-sadness. Is ver, ver confusing. I started SWI before I was really ready (because I finally realised that I would never be really ready), and terrifying though that was, I was perversely pleased when I was disappointed that the droid had arrived. I thought that meant that I actually wanted a child - but of course it could equally mean that I don't like achieving something I have put my mind to. I don't think that there is any way of knowing for sure until a baby arrives (if it ever does) - and perhaps not even then!

yup aries. the Big Fridge Test.