Throw your contraception in the bin and your legs in the air! JS II

[frakkit]

The 'rules'

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday. Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended)

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at ever opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Resist the lure of ovulation predictor kits, Taking Control of Your Fertility and the dreaded First Repsonse. Knowing where you are in your cycle is entirely permissible though!

Going to the doctor is permitted if you've had a stupidly long cycle but beware of the dildo-cam-scan.

Keep acronmyage to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

................................

The list (if you haven't posted since the last one you've been scrubbed - you're welcome to come back though)

Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Frakkit ? JS
BrassicaBabe - JS
takethatlady - JS
vallinnapod - JS
Gormers ? JS
Pipistrello - JS
MrsWajs - JS
RedNinaBlue ? JS
alien82 - JS
takingtheplunge - JS
almostknockedupgirl - JS
cowboylover - JS
swizzlestar - JS
HarderToKidnap - JS
Miffles - JS
milanomum - JS
fyimate - JS
lovemylulu - JS
haplesshippy - JS
Halliegirl - JS
Williamsmummy1986 - JS
ljg72 - JS
30andMerkin - JS
trixie123 - JS
bringbackwham - JS

I'm sorry if I missed you - please add yourself!

Lulu yippee! Congratulations! Keep checking in here to tell us how you're doing (as long as you're shagging, or even if you're too tired to shag but remember your JSing days fondly). Very glad to hear you had those glasses of wine before you got your BFP. Only confirms to me that drinking is the way to get knocked up

Brassica sorry to hear you're at the start of a new cycle day, but bring on the shags. Vallinna, you are the QUEEN of JSing. They should put a red carpet out for you before dildo-cam II, and a minion should bring you snacks and drinks. Take heart from pipi Ladies, I'm temping too this month, and I have to say it's making me feel MUCH more sane than last month, when I went off the rails! Last month I didn't ovulate until I thought I was 3 days late, leading to all manner of craziness, so it's nice to keep an eye on it when you are a) wildly irregular and b) easily tempted to get disgustingly drunk...

Halliegirl that's annoying about your brother's gf, but 31 is young in my book and you'll be fine! Hello again mrswajs, I remember trying to recruit you from another thread! It's much more fun here. They don't have gorgeous shag capes, dildo premieres, and a penchant for dirty stories over there

Don't have dirty stories of my own atm. Been shagging a lot, but it's all very usual and it's only CD10, which means I've probably got weeks to go. It was my birthday on Sunday (28 ... 30 is looming) (and as opposed to my birthday party, which was the previous weekend), and DH spent the whole weekend surprising and treating me so he is very much in the good books, shag- and otherwise! My favourite present was the 'perfect pregnancy cookbook'

Going off to plot further, perhaps al fresco, shags (and green with envy at frakkit's Indian Ocean shagging. I could do with some exotic shagging break!)

Whoop, whoop! Congrats Lulu!! Fantabulous news!

Ladies, last night I went to the iTunes Festval and discovered our perfect uniform! The only pics I can find are on Getty Images (all one word) dot com - a hyper link is beyond me! Type in Paloma Faith to the search field and then take a gander at the first few images (from 7th July). DH just didn't get my excitement and amusement (obviously didn't fully explain the concept to him as outside this square computer frame we could sound slightly insane )

Hello again ladies!

Well - I discovered yesterday that I was ovulating (blood and pains, not everyone gets it, apparently I am odd) so 'JS'ed' last night but have done for the last few nights so hopefully I'll know in a couple of weeks!

Well done lulu

Vallin is this what you mean? www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/102694537/Getty-Images-Entertainment
You should totally turn up for dildocam in this get up!

Congratulations to lulu

And hello to takethatlady how are things with you?

I think I'm gonna keep up with both threads and will def be following the rules for here this month but have to admit I'm a closet temp taker normally although not this month due to the dreaded nightshift

Currently on cycle 11 - the final one before a visit to my GP!

Hi ladies, I'm on a couple of other threads too, but I have just thrown my temping kit and ovulation sticks in the bin! On CD1, month 5 of ttc. Hoping to enjoy plenty of wine for a few days before getting back to JSing. Do I qualify for this thread?! xx

Definitely, baby2b , particularly if you shortly creep back to the bin, retrieve your temp taking kit and hide it in your wardrobe just in case. And extra particularly if you carry on with the wine!

Fabulous t shirt vallina! Did you buy??

Ooh - think I was looking at the wrong one, as have just checked out that link instead f searching for myself.

I don't get it!

Hey wajs! I'm good thanks, except for the fact I just looked in my shag cabinet and realised I've run out of shags [weeps in the corner]. Shagged five times since Saturday just for the heck of it but still the fertile window is closed and DH is off to China today for eight days ...

Gotta run as i'm taking him to the airport. But vallinna that is the best shag cape, and certainly the best shag pants, I have EVER seen! Much better than that Wonderwoman get-up!

pips it was Paloma Faith's insanely sparkly, flesh coloured catsuit WITH 6ft balloons attached to the shoulders!

So....dildo-cam II. Highlights: the sonographer running about 10 mins late so my bladder practically explodes. I run into the room and don't even say 'hi', just "can we do the first bit as I. AM. BUSTING". Other highlight was her putting a condom on the internal probe thing. Made a joke about how it probably wasn't necessary...blank response. Still better than the plastic bag type thing at my last one!

Which brings me to the result, which she told me prior to my meeting with the consultant again on Monday. PCOS....I was immediately furious that I had been told the NHS scan had showed nothing. The sonographer this time was very diplomatic but by saying nothing really implied the last one hadn't been carried out or interpreted properly. On the other hand, at least we are now in explanation territory and being able to address the problem.

So, mixed emotions!

Back from dropping DH off (only had to take him to school, not airport - doh!)

Vallinna what a mixed bag of news. Bloody lucky you went for that second dildo-cam I say - definitely pause for thought should any of us end up having our own, ahem, internal screenings. But PCOS, though tricksy, has got to be better than mysterious infertility (at least in the long run), and at least it's nothing more serious. You've got to think you're one step further along the road to getting well and truly knocked up!

PMSL at the potential bladder disaster and the condom joke! Misery guts nurse . When I went for my smear test last year the nurse turned away when the metal dildo was inside me and suddenly I felt my muscles contract, and the dildo shot out of me and across the room and rolled across the floor. The nurse had to go and pick it up. I said 'at least I've strong pelvic floor muscles! I'll try and hang onto them' (not very funny, I know, but I was desperate!), and she just looked at me, slightly disgusted .

I reckon these moments of indignity are just preparation for birth .

Well done you for getting to the bottom of it. Now you just need to get fixed and get shagging!

Dildo cam and getting to the bottom of it. It's far to early in the morning for me to take that bit seriously.

NMCB pulls mind out of gutter and is happy Vannilla finally had a diagnosis. You'll be on the preggie threads before you know it I'm sure.

Hmm do you think they make a maternity version of Paloma's shag suit?

AF due Sunday.....no signs so far...

NMCB didn't Jordan wear something like that when she sang at Eurovision...far less classy of course

sitting slightly uncomfortably at the thought of your dildocam comment

takingtheplunge - all extremities crossed!

pmsl takethatlady, I can't believe she didn't even find that a little bit funny. x

can i join please?
quick background..........
Am 31, have 2 children already aged 10 and 4. not used contraception for 3 years but a year ago i had a scan which showed i was not ovulating so basically i was offered clomid if Dh had a sperm test but we have spent the last year deciding what to do. Had basically thrown myself into my job and started studying for a degree. 3 months ago dh said he actually does want another baby (dd is starting school in sept!) so i started tracking my peiods etc on my iphone lol
periods are very regular, every 28 days for 4 days. all symptoms match with ovulating on day 14 and have been doing the deed in accordance! LOL
am currently 2 days late, had sore boobs 3 days ago and have nausea this morning BUT have a mate visiting this weekend for a planned and much needed weekend of induglence and inevitably alcohol! DILEMMA......do i test today (3 days late) or wait till monday and have a good weekend???????

Ha ha nomorechoc! How did I not notice that?! You see, penchant for saying wrong thing at wrong moment

PS [whispers very very quietly so frakkit can't hear] ... CD11 for me, been taking not-so-secret temps. Most days they're 97.18 exactly, with one 97.4 on Sunday, though I had had a couple of drinks the night before. Today, 96.6! There's no room for that on my chart. I did do it 35 minutes before I normally do it.

JSed last night, DH on a plane to China, hoping that this is the dip before ovulation and that I might just have caught it.

[slaps own head with gigantic kipper]

bonkerz you have come to the right place. Don't test, go bonkerz (sorry, couldn't resist), and look forward to your possible BFP on Monday morning!

Yay Lulu!!!! huge congrats, nice one lady (still doesn't know what POAS means....don't tell me, it's anti-JS)

Vanilla must be a mixed bag of emotions, but agree it's good some answers are finally forthcoming, though I will miss the dildo-cam stories

takethatlady that's amazing, what a bloody boring woman though, cheer the hell up love!

SO we managed JS twice in one night last night....nice session before books and bed, then woke in the middle of the night to find half-asleep DH mounting me, in the spirit of JS thought 'what the hell' and went for it, rolled over and back to sleep. Romance eh?!

Congrats Lulu! How fantastic!

Aloha MrsWajS! Lovely to see you here! I don't think I can keep up with the 2 threads (and may decamp to just this one permanently. Shhh... Don't mention it to anyone else.)

My period, which I've been increasingly expecting over the last couple of days, is here to greet me. Which means LOTS of Pimms & wine & sushi in the sunshine this weekend, and another month of fabulous sex. Hurrah for that!

Hope everyone has lovely plans in place for the positively tropical weekend. I'd better be nut brown by the end of it!

Just wee'd on a stick ( a fucking expense stick at that!) and NOT up the duff. So, seeing as it's Friday I'll be cracking open the wine and listening to the open air Cuban music concert drifting over from the park behind my house. Quite looking forward to another month's shagging actually.

Aww, damn the lure of those sticks. I have spent a fortune on them!

My other half is away on a lads weekend. Just remembered I have a ton of drink left over from a bbq last weekend, so I will be joining you takingtheplunge with a glass of rose wine...

Cheers everyone to more JSing

Definitely enjoying the cold white wine from the fridge this weekend, there are real advantages to getting AF

And i realised just now that not only can i drink guilt-free during AF, but also for the week or so after AF, woohoo !!!!

Turns out my plan to cut out alcohol calories to lose weight before getting pg may not be so well thought out after all, hmm......

CD3 here

OH and baby2b & others, i bought some pg tests dipsticks from a website and they sent me some free OV test sticks, free postage too

From here