Throw your contraception in the bin and your legs in the air! JS II

[frakkit]

The 'rules'

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday. Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended)

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at ever opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Resist the lure of ovulation predictor kits, Taking Control of Your Fertility and the dreaded First Repsonse. Knowing where you are in your cycle is entirely permissible though!

Going to the doctor is permitted if you've had a stupidly long cycle but beware of the dildo-cam-scan.

Keep acronmyage to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

................................

The list (if you haven't posted since the last one you've been scrubbed - you're welcome to come back though)

Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Frakkit ? JS
BrassicaBabe - JS
takethatlady - JS
vallinnapod - JS
Gormers ? JS
Pipistrello - JS
MrsWajs - JS
RedNinaBlue ? JS
alien82 - JS
takingtheplunge - JS
almostknockedupgirl - JS
cowboylover - JS
swizzlestar - JS
HarderToKidnap - JS
Miffles - JS
milanomum - JS
fyimate - JS
lovemylulu - JS
haplesshippy - JS
Halliegirl - JS
Williamsmummy1986 - JS
ljg72 - JS
30andMerkin - JS
trixie123 - JS
bringbackwham - JS

I'm sorry if I missed you - please add yourself!

hugs to brassica - feckity feck.

welcome newbies! Prepared to lose all reason?!

vallina i'm starting to think (just think) about cutting out booze a bit. Supposedly (can't remember where i read it) it's one of the major factors affecting fertility, alongside how many pets you have and what colour of socks you wear, of course. Depressing if you think you can't even have a wee drink occasionally. I didn't drink with DD until i was 7 months gone, then i had an occasional glass of wine (anti-oxidants, right?. Maybe I'll stop drinking around ov to start with ;)

nervous can't believe that about the car!!

or maybe i could just go out and get rotten drunk once every so often... :o

Hi,

I can OFFICIALLY join this thread now - DH and I started unprotected JSing last night! Bought it forward a few days from our 1st September start date, but as I should be ovulating this weekend he agreed to go for it a few days early. Will JS every day over the bank holiday.

Unfortunately I do seem to have become addicted to OPKs, no idea why. My receptacle is the tooth brush holder although I do give it a good rinse before and after.

Toothbrush holder!!!! LOL!
welcome HardertoKidnap - love your name!

This article www.aim-digest.com/gateway/pages/women/articles/Fecundity.htm might give hope to us wine lovers!

Wowzers, I leave this thread for 5 minutes and there are newbies all over it. Welcome one and all, not that I'm a hard core JSer myself but it feels like home so quickly!

Nelly bloody shitter about the car. I've had mine nearly 2 years now and we moved to London just after picking it up. Within 4 weeks it had been broken into (glass everywhere, nothing nicked, I was livid), towed away (by accident - blood boiling) and keyed down both sides along with 5 neighbours' cars ( so I cannot claim any vehicular luck whatsoever. Especially as my previous MGTF pride and joy car was stolen off our drive when we lived in Birmingham.

Josie glad to hear the pooch is doing well, resilient little creature he must be

NoMore get yourself and a group of pals down to the pub ASAP young lady

Brassica with you all the way on PMT, totally over the top, only thing for it is to get utterly sloshed and JS for England (insert name of relevant country for all non-UK MNs)

I have to say the cutting down on alcohol thing, whilst making logical sense to me, is absolutely not going to happen. I think my DH would massively struggle and if were drunk and I stone cold sober, there would be minimal chance of any kind of baby making action going on in our house I can tell you!

P.S. Am adding Dover Sole to the fish slapping list, I think it would make a satisfying slapping noise and make maximum facial contact.

Jessie - sorry about 'Jessica-ing' you. Clearly I have lost the ability to read...

Milano for all my bravado on the booze front I did cut it out completely on the Clomid, until it didn't work so got drunk to commiserate...! I have cut down massively too. No more binging :( Truff - TMI but tried JS-ing when sober and DH drunk as was during Clomid and the window was right and it was really horrible :( worse so knowing there would have been no WAY I would have done it had I not thought I were ovulating and DH didn't even, eh-hem, deliver :( Just not worth it.

Harder - does DH know about the toothbrush holder ;)

My fish of choice for you all would be a red mullet - nice and firm ;)

Just thought I'd weigh in on the alcoholic front ...

Both the last two months I have been pissed as a fart on ovulation day. The first time (I think I told you about it on here), DH picked me up and on the way into our house I was wiggling my bum. He said 'nice bum', and I waited until we got inside and yelled 'if you want my bum come and get it' and ran upstairs trying to strip off. Technically the offer of a bum was not quite correct, but hey ho.

Last 'month' (they're 7 weeks long for me at the mo) we went to a party at my mum's house and at 2 o'clock in the morning I was doing Beyonce's 'Ego' on the karaoke machine ('it's too big, it's too wide, it's too strong, it won't fit ... he's got a huge ego, I love his huge ego ... he walks like this 'cos he can back it up' etc). Had to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning to drive home to give a lecture to some American summer school students. Forced him to shag me in the spare room, and then once it was over I just pushed him straight off and snored all night . That time it got me preggo (though not for long :()

So I have successful drinking/ovulation experiences to report! Having said that, I'm now cutting down because I don't want to reduce my fertility and I don't want the 'did I have a mc because I was drinking' bullshit running round my head. I don't really think that, but it would be nice if it didn't have to cross my mind.

Still, I've got a nice glass of red in my hand as I type!...

I am not sure if there will even be a chance this month as had EWCM for the first time on Tuesday so does that mean then I ovulated or did the next day? Didnt get to see my DH till Thursday so does that mean we missed our chance?

I dont know anyway or dont care I just know im going to make the most of my DH anyway

Like your thinking Cowboy!

When I concieved DS I was drinking like a fish much to much and working 60+ hours a week on split shifts. He's healthy and wonderful. Last time I concieved I'd been off the alcohol for 6 weeks in an attempt to be healthy. I got a horrible virus and lost it after 2 and a half weeks. Go figure.

Think I might have to have a ribena with vodka for luck!

Evening everyone

Been horrendously busy at work today hence no posting. I will be JSing like mad mon to fri next week as that's ov time apparently. DH doesn't know this yet but I'm sure he wont ojbect much! .

On the drinking front - I don't drink, hardly ever! Just not a big drinker, don't know why, maybe because when i was 16 I lived away at college and drank enough to last an entire lifetime then and now it's out of my system?!

Anyway, just popped in to see what was going on, better nip back out again as going to watch a film with D, then maybe jump him .

Kerrr-ist viroids, you lot can chat Right what have I missed...

Firstly, thanks for your sympathies on my car :). Am feeling a little less angry today, and really as it was all my own fault I can't be too indignant about the whole thing ...Oh and all your horror stories about what other inconsiderate bastards slightly less than careful members of society have done to your cars, makes me glad that it was only me that "hurt" it. Hmmm I do love my car :)

Jessie and harder welcome to the madhouse most sensible thread on MN . But toothbrush holder - eeeuuuwwwwwwww

takethat you do make me laugh! I remember your story from earlier in the thread, it made me LOL that time, trying not to let OH know what I was laughing at (MN is our guilty little secret, right?)

The semi-good news on the ERTD front is it's not quite officially started yet; which means at most it's a day earlier than expected - which in turn helps for "no period on holiday". Of course, in reality my mad early-holiday crazy shagging will mean that ACTUALLY I'll be PG by the end of the holiday anyway, so no ERTD for me - nothing like positive thinking eh?

So, on the basis I'm as of tommorrow going to be officially not yet pregnant, am drinking lots of red wine! Which, it has to be said, will be continuing for the forseeable future. You have wayyy more willpower than me if you are planning on giving up whilst trying. I think 9 months is MORE than enough for one lifetime personally.

Don the shag-capes and enjoy the weekend ladies

Vallinna you are talking my language - I knew it was a good idea to join this thread. Now that I have your permission not to be neurotically sober whilst TTC I'm a much happier bunny! Now I just have to work out what the kippers are about...

Gawd Jessie I feel like the bad devil on your shoulder. I hope no hardcore MNetters stumble across this, I'd be burnt at the stake! And right now I'd go up pretty quick as a have a couple a glasses of red wine in me ;)

Last nighht DH told me on no uncertain terms am I allowed a drink as I might be pg. I was sitting there just thinking, if I am it hasn't even had time to implant yet so I'm not pg so I can drink if I want to. I have to remember though that he isn't allowed to drink and he feels left out and he's just been told he has to cut back his caffine intake so I guess I can manage to be a little boring with him. Roll on a bottle of Sav Blanc should AF arrive next week though!

Right off to enjoy some sunshine and not think about what's giong on inside my belly.

Have a shagtastic W/E all

Jessie, think the Monty Python . It's for when a viriod needs a good slapping.

Lifting head out of pit of gloom for a bit anyway. I reserve the right to head back down again and mope at any moment . Sat catching up with stuff, planning shopping list and meals for the week, MNing and watching odd programme about women wanting natural births.

Welcome harder Not sure about the toothbrush holder though

Loving the alocohol chat! My DH is less relaxed about it. He thinks I ought to cut down. But if he thinks I'm a crazy bitch mad now then he really should see me "dry"!! Yesterday a friend popped round so we had our Friday afternoon glass of wine in a coffee mug just in case we got spotted We can be the only alcohol-loving-ttc thread!!

The toothbrush holder is ming, isn't it....the problem is I just can't get myself organised to get a decent receptacle up to the bathroom. Plus then I would leave it there and then my mum would visit and charge down the stairs frantically waving a ramekin and screaming "WHY is this in your bathroom??? WHY??!?? Have you been PEEING IN IT?? WHY?? ARE YOU PREGNANT?????" because she is uncanny like that.

JSed last two nights. Massive TMI question - how do you deal with leakage? I put my legs in the air for ten minutes last night and it was really boring. Then I lay flat not wanting to move because I didn't want all the stuff to come out, IYSWIM. Plus I have just bought new 800 thread count sheets and I was feeling paranoid about crusty wet bits on them. Immediately after sex, what do you do?

Harder you could get a Gu ramekin and put a tea light candle in it, as a disguise.

I deal with leakage by trying to get it on DH's side, he deals with it by trying to push me onto myside of the bed before it happens and whether it happens or not I have to run off to the loo before I go to sleep. This method has seen my up the duff twice so enough is going where it should. [Hmm] TMI? absolutely

Ohh jealous emoticon at your nice new sheets!

Loving your wine-ina-mug Brassica

Have taken to having my knickers in a drawer next to my bed so I can put them on immediately post-coital and catch the drips. Only just realised how absolutely disgusting that is, but I'm afraid of letting good sperm go to waste

I am a disgusting human being.

In fact, this is a disgusting thread. We have pee in our toothbrush holders, jizz in our pants, and a glass of wine in our hands at all times.

We should be ashamed of ourselves

I just go to the toilet and wipe. I think there's enough up there inside IYSWIM?

Just had some really good news IRL about a family member's health which makes getting pg any time soon much less worrying. sorry that's a bit cryptic, but don't want to out myself.

Fertile period coming up but DH will be working long hours from Monday so don't know how much JSing there'll be.

My desperate attempt at a ramekin last month was the toilet brush holder washed out before and after. Is that really sick?

"We have pee in our toothbrush holders, jizz in our pants, and a glass of wine in our hands at all times" Title for next thread takethat??!!

Ok, we have a loo roll by the bed. When we've done the deed, I grab 2 runs of tissue and we both, ahem, wipe. In fact, if that wasn't TMI already, we don't, double ahem, "separate" until I've grabbed the tissue so there are no drips.

Cleaver idea on the ramekin/candle front nomore

After a bout of (veeeery good, I must say ) JSing this afternoon, I managed to make one of those really embarrassing noises on standing up to go and wipe. Can I even say it? A fanny fart . OMG I nearly died laughing, as did DH. No shame in our house.

"We have pee in our toothbrush holders, jizz in our pants, and a glass of wine in our hands at all times"
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! Love it! sums us up rightly.
Especially love the mug-of-wine brassica

I am SO glad someone mentioned the drips - i do the toilet-roll-knickers combo. Try to keep it all in there.

takingtheplunge :o

P.S. Just wanted to clarify that I am not at all anti-drinking when ttc or pregnant. Just in case anyone thought i was mental misunderstood. I didn't drink when i was preggers with DD until i was 7 months gone and then i thought "well, most of the development's done now, a few glasses won't hurt..." but if when i get pregnant this time round i'll have no probs with a glass of wine every evening now and again. Sure, the Italians swear by it!

Evening girls

Brassica glad you've surfaced from the pit! I am concerned by your alcoholism impressed by your clever Wine-in-Mug disguise

Harder - I can totally picture what you mean about your Mum, mine would be the same. She's not subtle at the best of times! Re the spillage - I too just bought some very fancy sheets and get a bit precious about it! The bonus of condoms (admittedly, the only one) was no wet patch. It did make TTC that bit harder though. Honestly, how anyone manages to get pregnant, by accident, as a result of a burst condom is a mystery to me . Now I just put my fluffy PJs sexy slip back on pretty quickly.

takingtheplunge I am in awe of your afternoon JSing. We only ever do that on holiday. The important question for you though, is whether your toilet brush holder is up the duff

Now all this talk of drinking reminded me of a question. My folic acid tub says "take with liquid". I'm using wine to wash it down with but wondered why it said this? Is it cos they are the size of horse tranquilisers, or something rather more scientific about absorption or summat

PS - meant to say earlier Milanomum - how many pets you have affects fertility??? sooo - do I need more, or less??? I have 4 (plus DP). So should I nip out and get a couple of labradors asap