Throw your contraception in the bin and your legs in the air! JS II

[frakkit]

The 'rules'

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday. Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended)

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at ever opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Resist the lure of ovulation predictor kits, Taking Control of Your Fertility and the dreaded First Repsonse. Knowing where you are in your cycle is entirely permissible though!

Going to the doctor is permitted if you've had a stupidly long cycle but beware of the dildo-cam-scan.

Keep acronmyage to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

................................

The list (if you haven't posted since the last one you've been scrubbed - you're welcome to come back though)

Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Frakkit ? JS
BrassicaBabe - JS
takethatlady - JS
vallinnapod - JS
Gormers ? JS
Pipistrello - JS
MrsWajs - JS
RedNinaBlue ? JS
alien82 - JS
takingtheplunge - JS
almostknockedupgirl - JS
cowboylover - JS
swizzlestar - JS
HarderToKidnap - JS
Miffles - JS
milanomum - JS
fyimate - JS
lovemylulu - JS
haplesshippy - JS
Halliegirl - JS
Williamsmummy1986 - JS
ljg72 - JS
30andMerkin - JS
trixie123 - JS
bringbackwham - JS

I'm sorry if I missed you - please add yourself!

Morning everyone. Haven?t been on all weekend so trying to catch up. There?s a lot of posts!

It?s been a bit of a miserable weekend for me this one. After finding out my best mate at work is leaving in November (not only is she leaving work she?s leaving the country!), mates horse has been put down, and not pg, it all got to me a bit and left me crying into my dishes on Friday night! How ridiculous did I feel when DH came in and I was blubbering in my marigolds!

Anyway, went to a bbq on sat and just couldn?t bring myself to be sociable! Awful I know but I just wanted to be able to say that I couldn?t drink as I was pg, but I couldn?t. Didn?t drink anyway and made an excuse to leave after about an hour and a half! I emailed my friend and apologised though. My best mate was there and she knows all about what?s going on so she understood why I wasn?t myself and she?s been looking out for me, making sure I?m not too miserable!

DH has made a good effort to cheer me up too and it was working until I?m not back in work and face to face with the mate who?s leaving!

I blame it all on the hormones!

Here's to JSing like rabbits!

Morning all

Another set of day 22 blood tests for me today. These tests were ordered by the consultant prior to starting the clomid next cylce/week.

Feel weird. CD22/9DPO. Just not expecting to be pg at all this cycle. I've got to have more blood tests on CD1, start taking the clomid on CD2, then a session of JS finally more CD22 blood tests.

I think I'll be disappointed when AF arrives, but not surprised.

Hello ladies

God, where does time go when you're working too blardy hard having fun? Have even missed celebrity Masterchef, and I LOVE celebrity MAsterchef (life? pah!).

However a big, sloppy, but not remotely lesbionic snog to milanomum for saying she missed me, nicest thing anyone's ever said to me on here....

Although frankly if my DH is anything like typical, a bit of lesbionic kissing would probably be more effective than a turbo-Nimbus-3000-GTI shag cape. But maybe that's just him.

And big non-MN-style hug to takethat, vallinna and anyone else to whom Mother Nature is being a bit of a cow to.

LOL! Glad to see you're back 30 (in a non-lesbionic kind of way).

takethat love the Shwagon!

Brassica fingers crossed for you - you aren't going to feel too weak for shagging after having all that blood removed, are you?

Josie - big hug - hormones are fu*ked up aren't they? I find a good old weepy film sorts me out rightly.

Back to work soon after lying about for 2 months keeping busy over school hols. Need new shoes.

Welcome back 30

Well, I gave them 3 viles of gin blood. Seem no worse off for it And managed to get into and out of the hospital without being spotted. (It's a very small world around here ) I am absolutely certain I don't want anyone knowing we're TTC. Nosey gits

God, I know what you mean Brassica - I've taken to bulk-ordering folic acid and First Response online to save trying to hide it under a cauliflower in the local Tescos!

And then DH and I were out for dinner he other day, and a lovely lady who we know not paricularly well, bounced up and asked how we were.... and whether we were going to start a family... WHEN did that become acceptable acquaintance conversation??

'Hello people I vaguely know, because you're married and in your 30s may I just enquire as to whehter you're having unprotected sex at the moment?'

Group hug for campaign against the rude nosey bizzy-bodies!

I think TTC is the most private thing in the world and I can't bare the thought of people watching my every move, every alcoholic drink or runny fecking egg! And if we don't have kids it will be no business of theirs!

Do they realise they are basically asking how often we shag and if I've had my period??!!

Ranting because I'm surrounded in the village by DH parents and their friends etc etc and people who have no life career and can't think that a woman would do anything else in life other than procreate!

Ooooh, it makes me cross.

Oooh ladies I'm SO with you on this one. Extremely sick of my parents ringing me up and asking me if I've got any news. I've actually explained to my mum that I'm only ovulating every 7 weeks at the moment but it took her ages to believe that ovulation even exists or that you can only get pregnant certain days a month (she has her own axe to grind with this as she apparently suffered from hyperfertility and had four unwanted pregnancies during her life when on various methods of contraception, and wants to believe pregnancy can occur at any moment...)
Anyway, they should wait until I tell them for news! Way to ruin a surprise! I'm not bloody telling them til 12 weeks next time, despite the fact that my mum has actually made me promise that I'll tell her immediately. She can feck off...

And don't get me started on people asking me if I should be drinking! Or my dad, who said he was worried that it was taking so long! I got pregnant on my 3rd cycle after coming off the pill!

Grrrrrr for the busybodies. Grrr Grrrr Grrrr...

Hope the tests reveal what you want them to brassica, or better yet, that you get a BFP before they come back!

Oh my 30 I could so easily have written that post about bloody annoyinglu nosey do gooding gits people asking you when you are 'starting a family'

When it's DH's Aunts I get an urge to respond with something like, "well we do have great sex all the time but nothing seems to have happened in the baby-making arena for us yet, do you think there might be something wrong with DH's swimmers?" just to see the look of horror on their face. Of course, this could massively backfire if they happily joined in with a conversation about their recommended positions for conceiving................

We haven't told anyone that we're even contemplating TTC (apart from that drunken time when we accidentally mentioned it to DH's also drunken brother so are hoping he's forgotten) and want to keep it that way if possible. I suppose it will depend on how long we're at it and whether I need to rant anywhere other than on MN!

Have strength and unite against the bizzy bodies!

PS, while we're on this, ahem, fertile topic, a lady at the checkout in Asda ID-ed DH and I the other day (we are 28) and when she realised our age she asked if we were married (we are) and for how long (six years) and if we had children (we don't) and why not (errr, don't know! why do you work in Asda? why didn't you learn any tact when you were growing up?!).

I'm going to start saying to people, 'to be honest, we're not quite ready to give up on all the filthy sex we've been having. We basically shag every moment we're left alone - even in other people's houses if we have to [just to really scare them] - and we're worried if we have kids we'll be too tired, and my bits will be too mangled, to keep up the pace'. And if they've got kids, I'll ad, 'Actually, you might be able to help. How do you manage it?' That should shut them up

TakeThat that's exactly what I'm talking about! Anymore suggestions for comebacks you wish you could get away with?

Morning everyone.

I am in much better fettle today, well, I am not as miserable but one of DH's work colleagues annoyed me this morning by texting him at 7.30am asking what shift she was on tomorrow! So I'm in a fettle but a different kind!

Have been reading about the nosy busybodies you all seem to know! Thank goodness the only peron I know like that is my best mate, who I don't mind asking all the time (the dirty comments wouldn't put her off in the slightest ). We haven't really told anyone else but my Mam keeps hinting seeing as we told her we were thinking about it.

Ohh you're all so lucky that people want you to have children. I'm very scared of what the in-laws reaction will be when we manage to get pg and have to tell them. They're of the opinion that there are to many people in the world and we should stop breeding so much (it's not helped that step-MIL has no kids of her own), and we can't afford another child anyway.

Hmm that came out a bit rantish.

Operation get knocked up is progressing well. The special underwear I bought at the weekend definately helped things along [ahem]

He he nomorechoc rants are always allowed . If they're not I need to be kicked off this thread pronto! Your in-laws sound likea barrel of laughs . You're right, people like that are much worse - sure you could try to some dirty comebacks on them, too! (Of the, to be honest, your son is such a dirty shag machine I can barely stop him humping me, and so it was bound to happen sooner or later ...)

Glad you're feeling better Josie - was it because your namesake won Big Brother lastnight? [hides self in shame for having watched hours and hours of utter trash for the past 11 weeks, and enjoyed it ...]

Morning ladies! Loving the rants about busy bodies .

I got a bfn on Monday and another to be sure this morning, so it is time to stop feeling sorry for myself and don the shagtastic cape once again! CD7, not that I am counting, so debating if I should pee on opks this month?! Either way, booked this long weekend to Bath in a fab hotel. Love jsing weekends. Though I really need to do some waxing first . Anyone else doing anything exciting this weekend?

Hope the 2ww is going by quickly.

p.s. Josie glad you're in better fettle :)

Agreed, we need a list of witty comebacks for the busy bodies!

I'm tempted by the 'Yes, we were trying earlier... right about in that sofa where you're sitting actually....'.

DH and I have only ever slept with each other (not for religious or any other reasons - we just happened to stick ) so I could say, 'to be honest, we've been trying for ages, but neither of us is totally sure we're doing it right' .

I have got a very spotty chin today. I had that last month a few days before ovulation and until a couple of days after.

But it's only CD8, I'm getting used to 47-50 day cycles, and it's only really CD8 if you count first day of early mc as first day of period, so it seems unlikely I'm about to ovulate - but then again, perhaps my body's gone mad? It seems plausible ... Makes me feel better about the pimple party going on on my face, anyway...

Takethat I get pimples too and always seemed to be if I'd missed a pill but now it looks like it's hormonal so will happen whether I'm on the bloody pill or not!

NoMoreChoc I felt like you but have been planting a seed and now Mam is quite excited about the prospect. She used to say she hoped I never have kids as I'd make a terrible mother . I just bit the bullet and said we were thinking about it in the next year (didn't tell her next month if it goes to plan ). Seeing as we got married last June she was sort of expecting it so softened the blow a bit. I haven't said anything to Dad, think would pass out if I rang and said I was pg! In laws would be over the moon, they're more family orientated than my family are

Heh heh at the comebacks
what about "well, we're dealing with our porn addiction right now. One thing at a time"

takethat i get spotty chin/neckline a few days before ovulation too - maybe you should start considering from day 8 as fertile period, right through to day 20. You'll be knackered, but at least you'll know you've given it a good chance! ;)
I'm on day 6 actually so we'll be... erm... getting down to it doing the 2 week wait around the same time :o

(makes mental note to buy new fancy underwear. and shoes.)

Loving the porn addiction milanomum. What are the shoes for? What kind of shoes?!

Nothing exciting or kinky Just new ones. Back to work soon so need nice- but-sensible shoes and boots. need to go shopping before gas bill hits...

30 love the sofa comment, might try something along those lines at the weekend if I get chance. We're heading back home for the weekend and staying with the outlaws for a couple of nights. To be fair my MIL doesn't really say anything , it's more the Aunts and cousins who say things like 'when are you going to provide some lovely grandchildren for MIL then?'

Will get practising with my most revolting and depraved replies in the hope it will scare them off asking again - mwahaha

Nomore that sounds like a difficult situation you've got going on but the other way round! I think my Mom might possibly have a minor fainting fit when we tell her we're un the duff as I've always been so anti-kids and we've not been open about trying now. Don't think there's anyone who would be displeased though.

Nooo, milano, a lady in your conditions needs FMBs. Or at least FMHs.

I suggest you abandon your work wardrobe and consider these:

understated items

or these

if you've got the pins and budget for it

Plus matching shag cape. obviously.

Christ. You can get a
matching shag cape

And i was joking..

Thanks viriods! Feeling better reading this (as usual). Takethat, LOVE your suggestion (wicked laugh hehe). I'm sure once it happens they'll be okay, but last time I mentioned anything to (S)MIL she made some comment about how bad life will be in 20 yrs time. Fecking heck!!

Have finally sat down for the first time in 2 days (had a friend staying) and let my body talk to me, and as predicted I'll be doning the shag cape and jumping DH during the ad breaks of Ugly Betty.

Had a dream that and I had another DS and he looked like a miniture version of DS.