Throw your contraception in the bin and your legs in the air! JS II

[frakkit]

The 'rules'

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday. Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended)

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at ever opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Resist the lure of ovulation predictor kits, Taking Control of Your Fertility and the dreaded First Repsonse. Knowing where you are in your cycle is entirely permissible though!

Going to the doctor is permitted if you've had a stupidly long cycle but beware of the dildo-cam-scan.

Keep acronmyage to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

................................

The list (if you haven't posted since the last one you've been scrubbed - you're welcome to come back though)

Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Frakkit ? JS
BrassicaBabe - JS
takethatlady - JS
vallinnapod - JS
Gormers ? JS
Pipistrello - JS
MrsWajs - JS
RedNinaBlue ? JS
alien82 - JS
takingtheplunge - JS
almostknockedupgirl - JS
cowboylover - JS
swizzlestar - JS
HarderToKidnap - JS
Miffles - JS
milanomum - JS
fyimate - JS
lovemylulu - JS
haplesshippy - JS
Halliegirl - JS
Williamsmummy1986 - JS
ljg72 - JS
30andMerkin - JS
trixie123 - JS
bringbackwham - JS

I'm sorry if I missed you - please add yourself!

Nomorechoc and frak sounds hopeful! Let us know as soon as you POAS! Sorry yours was BFN brassica. I'm with you on the 69 - it's okay, but it's hard to concentrate on both ends at once! As an aperitif though I'm there ...

Not today though. Caz, I'm having your day yesterday today. Had a party at my mum's house (in Kent), ended up karaoke-ing in the garden until 2, drank about a thousand glasses of Pimms and a bottle of wine, and had to get up at 5.30 to get back to where I live (two hour drive) and give a lecture. Had to keep stopping to gulp down water like a beast.

Also had a hell day on Saturday - DH and I were driving down to where our parents all live for his mum's 50th on Saturday. We were going for a picnic with his family and we had made the whole thing - brownies, jellies, smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels, cheese and ham rolls, home-made pesto and salmon, etc - and then DH put unleaded in our diesel car by mistake. So we left at 7.30 for a 2-hour drive and ended up £300 poorer and only arrived seven hours later. Got stuck in massive jam on M25 too. Wanted to hang myself. Poor DH - he was really upset. But then we all went for a Chinese and a drunk man groped and snogged the face of this woman, fell off his chair in the restaurant, and then fell fast asleep on a table and couldn't be woken for the taxi - which the restaurant owners had to pay for because he'd run out of cash. So that cheered us up!

JSing a lot, pant snot running out now.

Sorr about your crap day takethat. Sounds like a hard day.

I am now feeling really sick. I'm having to remind myself it really was a lot of pork scratchings

Takethat next time you cater a picnic, don't forget to invite me, cause that sounds more than yum!!!

poas result is ... BFN. Boo. Still no AF, though think it's on the way. Keep hoping it's just this virus though. At least I bought cheapie tests from bodycare rather than clearblue digi from boots, so if Af doesn't arrive I won't fell guilty having another poas tomorrow (and every day til it does arrive ).
Frak all hope rests with you now

I really need to go eat something, cause all this talk of food is making me salivate.

Howdy lovelies,

Only one drunken day this weekend (if you don't count Thursday ) so feel very virtuous.

Shiteous nights sleep last night. It was my third reflexology session that morning and I had the same issue last week. Odd when it is meant to make you sleep better!

Fertility clinic appt tomorrow so probably slightly anxious about that!

Takethat I LOVE dinner theatre The best we had was going to a posh restaurant for DH's birthday and the guy on the table next to us proposed to his girlf and got a 'no' response! It was so obvious we were hanging on every word as we realised we hadn't said a word to each other for about 30 mins!! Just lots of eyebrow raising and open mouthed staring! Poor guy!

"dinner theatre" love that.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow vallinna Waiting around is enough to drive you bonkers I'm sure.

I'm still feeling pukey. Surely it can't still be the 9.30 pork scratchings?! Slaps own face with wet kipper for evening entertaining a pg idea! Idiot!

Determined not to POanotherfeckingS. Even an internet cheapie.

vallinna at your dinner and a show. People were taking pictures on their phones of this guy, and then 3 other diners had to try to lift him at the end. It was one haulage mission too far though! Just glad we made it to the picnic venue and out for dinner so we didn't miss out on too much. DH's family are absolutely brilliant, anyway, so they were fine about it.

brassica oooh your symptoms sound like more than a dodgy pork scratching could create. Didn't you have mouldy toast last week? You need to go on one of my picnics, clearly! Plus there are always al fresco JSing opportunities on a picnic

I had really bad stomach cramps yesterday and back pain (before the river of Pimms flowed straight down my throat) and thought perhaps AF imminent. No AF, but my nipples have been sticking out like coat pegs since Saturday and now my boobs are tingling like mad. This must be imaginary, since I reckon I'm only about 4 dpo, but still I POAS. BFN. Idiot.

Good luck for tomorrow vallinna - and I hope you start sleeping better. DH is lying next to me snoring like a pig

Not that you'd believe it, but I don't cook too badly when I put my mind to it! Clearly mouldy bread, cauli-curry and pork scratchings aren't the high lights of my culinary week!

oooh takethat maybe you got your snot-dates wrong?

Internet cheapie - BFN here too.

Turns out it's quite hard to aim onto one of those dip-in sticks

Got me on a whole trail of weird thoughts about how it would be much easier for men to wee on these sticks....

Clearly men designed the pee sticks swimming, forgetting that this would mean us weeing all over our hands . When DH and I were first together (we were teenagers) he actually thought that girls peed via the big V, and was confused that it must come out in torrents . That's sex ed for you!

Now I'm turning into a nutter again and google has revealed that pant snottiness can be an early preg symptom (along with basically all other symptoms in the whole entire universe). Also thinking the dent in the preg test that DH can't see is actually a line .... AF is bound to arrive tonight!

(whispers, I've developed lots of pant snot, but no AF)

I convienetly was given a little pot to put a sample in today. When said sample didn't happen (poas, AF arrives, go to Dr, poo becomes normal - yes TMI) I promptly realised the little container as just perfect POAS equipment.

NMCB - handy

I found a stack of party plastic cups in a kitchen drawer, so all i need to do is remember to take one up tonight.

Thinking maybe not re-usable, opinions?

I'm loving this! We're all going mental together!

Remember "Determined not to POanotherfeckingS"? Well, stopped off on my way home fro 2 packs of FR! [hmm[ Then used one in the supermarket loo as I was dying for a pee! Laughing at own mentalness BFfeckingN! I think I peed the whole can of diet coke I'd consumed in the preceeding half hour!

I use an old pate ramekin thingy for my POAS equipment. It's stored in the bathroom so there's no chance of it making its way into the household food chain.

No AF symptoms for me yet. Due tomorrow/Wednesday. My only glimmer of hope is that normally I would be in a hellish mood and a white sliced bread monster. So far I'm quite happy and low-carb!

Vallinna what time is your appt tomorrow? Do check in missus and let us know.

Pate ramekins, plastic cups - I need to get more creative with my pee capsules! I've got a glass in the bathroom so DH doesn't drink from it. I worry when guests come though - they might use it for mouthwash but I don't want to tell them what it is

Got abdominal pain again. Boobs have stopped feeling as if inside each one there's a little midget with a lot of pins trying to poke his way. All of this may be down to colossal hangover.

Trying not to pee on my last cheapie stick. I think I might pee on it. What the hell. I've just had a University Challenge competition with DH - my night needs some excitement!

Trying to poke his way out. It just sounds rude otherwise!

thinking i might upgrade once i've used up the plastic cups!!

Do you think the recycling people mind if i put it in there after POAS?

Does it have I've been full of BFN wee written on the side JKS? If not then I'm guessing you're okay with the recycling people.

Trying not to get poas container envy myself. Must remember that it a) has a rather pointless forthe activity in question lid and b) the fact I'm using it for poas means I didn't have to fill it with something far worse.

Good luck for tomorrow Vallina

I really am an idiot. AF for me, CD1.

The only "up" is that the appointment at the fertility clinic I got while I was having mid-cycle bleeding and have re-booked twice hoping that I'd get pg without needing it is now booked for next Wednesday 11th.

Fingers crossed for takethat, NMCB and JKS

Sorry for you Brassica.

My boobs really hurt when I went for a run yesterday. I mean REALLY hurt!! However, I don't think it sgnifies anything other than the fact that I've put on weight and the first place it always sticks is up top. Stupidly, since starting ttc I've put on 10lbs!!! I think every time I'm in the 2WW I decide to eat loads and stop exercising 'just in case'. Officially mental!!

So, going to draw that line and stop being a crazy person (?) & get back to exercising and eating properly.

You never know, maybe as soon as I start loosing weight again, sod's law may denote a bfp!!

Sorry Brassica

Gormers - i have this plan to lose that extra half a stone i'm carrying then i think oh why bother i'll be pg soon anyway!

BFN cheapie again today - yes i am having a mental week of everyday testing just cos i can

(though i remembered my cup to pee in today!)

Me too, another cheapie BFN. Sort of starting to feel pg though, so as the 2WW drags into week 3 I'm in limbo. (If I am pg though, it'll be due the week after DHs next Bday. That's his pressie sorted)

Boo for you Brassica hopefully they'll get you sorted out next week.

Hi ladies.

Sorry about the BFN's girls. Next time eh?

That Chinese restaurant sounds like a riot, takethat !

Finally over Sunday's vile hangover, currently watching Lilo and Stitch with DS. Knackered from staying up late watching rubbish tv.

Trying VERY hard with diet. Have had 2x rice cakes with low fat spread and teeny bit of cheese, with 2 coffees. STARVING

Have realised something this weekend... I don't think I actually GET EWCM. What does that mean? I mean, every now and again, p'raps about every 4 months or so, I get a bit, but no way do I get it every month. Advice?
Should I be temp taking instead?

Am going to attempt some JS'ing later, even though the 'disolvable' stitches are STILL in situ. Fucking things!!

Anybody doing anything exciting today?

Afternoon ladies!

Love the pee pots! I had loads of those containers you are meant to put lotions and potions in so airport security don't think you are going to mix a bomb which I use (for POAS purposes...not bomb making )

So.....just swallowed first clomid. Stupidly nervous and intensely proud of myself. Idiot!

At the appointment DH met the consultant who told him he might as well cup up the goods couldn't do it on the spot though as you have to 'store it up' for 3 days and like a good JShagger (first time for everything!) we'd got down and dirty last night

Had to have ANOTHER dildocam to make sure my endometrial (sp?) lining was still thin and shezam...Clomid prescription.

5 days of this, back for scan on Monday then, if follicles do what they are meant to I get to POAS (ovualtion ones) and demand DH perform when required

The relief at moving forward it huge! Don't get me wrong...love a good shag but when you are hoping it has a productive end but your body won't play it gets VERY annoying

Careful sleepy! We don't want to see any more injuries!

Vallinna - good luck with the clomid!

So, I missed a train on the way home and had to wait on the station for 30 mins. So, what do I do? As a crazy 2 week waiter?! I walk to the local chemist and buy 4 poas tests!! And it's 7 days til my period's due!!!!

Needless to say, I've now done one - BFN! Quel surprise! I fear for how crazy I'll go if I ever get pregnancy brain!!

Hey what has been going on here?! Can't believe you're all possessed enough to line the pockets of the manufacturers of the pregnancy tests!! Step away until you're at least a few days late to save yourselves from the mentalness. Not easy, I know.

Willing you all on with BFPs. This thread is the only one I like and I want you all to make it over to the other side where mentalness and acronyms abound.

As for me, 14 weeks now. Still can't really believe it. Look like a proper porker rather than pregnant.

Glad things are moving vallinna Although a slow start things seem to be moving at a nice fast pace now.

Any POAS news takethat, NMCB, JKS?

Nice to see you loopey

I've crawled out of my pit of despair that was yesterday. I am such an idiot for even entertaining the pg idea!

So onwards to fetility clinic appointment next Wednesday. I don't quite know what to expect. Probably just questions about how much we drink and how often we JS! Bring on the dildocam eh?!