Hi.
I'm 21 and feel exactly the same as you do about having a baby, and I have done from quite a young age.
I've never been pregnant and therefore I can never understand what it must feel like to lose a baby, and I hope that it is something I never will have to experience. Knowing how I feel about wanting to have a baby without having to have dealt with what you have makes me appreciate how much harder it must be for you.
I came onto this site because I was looking for similar advice to what you were, and after reading all the comments given by the other posters I can say that everyone has given really good advice. The only thing is when you're in a position like this it makes it very easy to think 'well it's alright for you to think that, you've already got what I want'.
You sound like you've got quite a lot sorted for yourself, house, car, money, and now what you want to complete that is a baby. Unfortunately I'm not as organised as that, I have a car and a job but not a place of my own - yet.
The thing is I could quite easily go out and get pregnant if I wanted to, or find my self in a similar situation to the one you're in with your ex and the result would be that I would be pregnant, but there is a major thing that is stopping me.
I don't want to bring a child into the world under circumstances like that. There is a whole lot more to having a child than just fulfilling our own personal desire. We might feel emotionally ready but is our 'baby' emotionally ready to handle us?
What I mean by that is, I know sexual attitudes have changed and not many people believe in the old fashioned concept of love, then marriage and then the children, but for a child that is the best way to be brought up. Even though you and your ex would love your child it should not be passed from one parent to the other because you realised that as a couple you didn't work out.
I've seen lots of relationships break up around me and the kids passed from one to the other at weekends and holidays etc and the parents discover there is something missing from their lives.
What if you have this baby and fulfil that longing but then discover later down the line that there is something else missing from your life - the love of a good man.
So really what I'm trying to say is that, I know how you feel about desperately wanting to have a baby, but give absolutely everything some serious thought.
Sometimes my obsession with having a baby gets so bad that I could quite happily jump the next guy who got on the bus! But when it comes to having a baby we have to think about what is best for them, even before they are in existence, and we have to make the most selfless choice we will probably ever have to make and wait until the time is right, when the circumstances are right, and when they are right you'll know, and when we do know, we will not need to ask the question should I have a baby?
I know most people, if not all, will read this and prolly role their eyes and think its a load of tosh, but speaking as someone in this kind of position, this is the best kind of advice I can give and I hope it helps.