Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome (Part2)

[Magic8ballhastheanswers]

Nice clean thread for us - may there be many a BFP on here

Afternoon Ladies, some moving posts over the last couple of days.

Linda take care, I wish you all the very best. x

Hairy I'm so sorry you really have been through the mill. Don't be to hard on yourself right now, I hope you have plenty of support in the real world. ((HIUGS))

Hi to the rest of you, sorry I'm not doing much name checking today. I'm having the most terrible RTD Still piled hi with DP boxes who's just annouced he's off to Monaco Sunday..that leave me unpacking the dam things!

The bed is here however still unmade..it's a good job he's booked that holiday or he'd be out on his ear

Still no word on the job.. be nice to go on holiday knowing mind!

Happy Friday all x x x

Lindalinda, sorry to see you go, I'll miss you. What a heart wrenching decision for you to make- but it sounds as if you are doing it with all the information and knowledge you can get, so you can at least know that it is an informed decision you are making. Not that that will make the grief any less but I hope that after the pain of coming to terms with it you will find peace in having made a choice for yourself and your family. I know you might not want to stay on this thread as reading about others TTC might be too hard, but it is still not very long since your m/c so post on here if you need to rant/cry/talk to someone about it. x x

wow. lots of catching up to do on the thread as have been snowed for the last couple of days.

still waiting for new job offer to come in writing so i can resign!! seems very wierd at work talking about what the team needs to be doing and to my boss about what my team is going to deliver this year knowing full well come monday or tuesday i will be resigning! houise sale is progressing, am still going crazy fretting about how we will manage new childcare arrangements - i think we will need a nanny but have no idea where to start on that

am feeling pretty good about not TTC again this cycle just because there is so much going on already. i want to at least know timescales for the move both on the house and job front before i get pregnant so it just makes sense, although some days its so hectic with just 1 DS I am beginning to question whether another is what we really want or whether it is what i think we should have, certainly I am allowing myself the space to really consider the alternative to having more children, which feels much more healthy for me emotionally

linda such a hard decision but well thought through and as you say you have so much to enjoy the risks of throwing that all into turmoil are high, such a brave decision to make, you may find having made a decision you start to feel more relaxed about life pretty quickly!

jolls hang in there with the waiting my DS will be 3 in June so I know what you mean about where you thought you would be, hoping the accupuncture works out

viv don't know if i passed comment since you got back - I am sure I must have! Shocker, would love to see you on the grads list

prettyG good for you for standing up for yourself - sometimes you just have to be really pushy to get the attention you deserve - and you don't strike me as a shrinking violet type

mof you are having abit of a shit time of it lately, hope things brighten up in your world soon

littlemiss everything crossed for you on the job front - its been really exciting for me and feels like a new lease of life - fresh start and all that which is so important when you are stuck in the TTC hamster wheel

muser any day now you will be back on the top list - must be tough having an imposed wait - its ok when its self imposed but when you have to - much respect

right DS is destroying the hosue must go!

Lots to catch up on today, but may struggle as stayed up to 5.30am, had breakfast, had 2 hours kip and managed a full day at work (on budgets no less)! Clearly I am superwoman and geering myself up for this pregnancy lark when it finally happens as I hear sleep deprivation is a major thing; however, I am wilting a bit now....

Cheepz Hope you hear about the job soon and that your DS did not do anything too bad?! Best wishes to Linda - always sad to see people go from our little thread. Are you going to Monaco with DP, Littlemiss - sounds glam if you are! Muser stop feeling gloomy - there must be a decent chance of a normal pg next time. Congrats on your anniversary Magic - it's our 10th this year and we have just booked a 3 week holiday to France doing a road trip thing so that's what we're officially getting each other, but I'm sure I'll see some form of accessory I desire (go a bit bonkers over accessories actually , but never mind! What with Dorcas's sex with strangers and all the other filthy talk led by Viv, I might have got thinking about SWI with DH tonight, but alas I am too tired!

Pretty glad to hear you pushed your weight (not literally) around re your appointments. Hope Pauline and LAF are doing OK - you will be strong in time.

And that I think is everyone - sorry if I missed you off. I am going to sort out takeaway and will probably fall into a comatosed slumber.......

Hi all
linda what a moving post - you are a very strong woman and I wish you all the best for the future

moo sorry to hear about your friend's mum, I'm sure she is lucky to have a friend like you. I too am prone to killing plants so didn't get anything for the garden, chose a charm necklace with our initials and a star for the little one.

cheepz march in there and get them to write the letter in front of you!!!!

muser I think you're in for a baybee this time - it's only right and proper

MrsPV you go gurrrlfriend - woop woop! fantastic result well done - brill you don't have to wait all that time.

jolls I am quite tempted to wait another month - the break this month has actually been really good for me. A bit scared of the madness that is about to ensure. Day 9 and counting....

littlemiss leave the boxes....

big waves to everyone else, just popped on while DS's supper is cooked - will be cold now oops.
must go to Waitrose to pick up my OB!!

Hello ladies

You seem like a lovely lot.Have spoken to some on various other threads - I've been reading your thread on and off and today since I got my period (never been so pleased to see it turn up) I thought I would take the plunge and join you.

Had an ERPC on 8 April after a missed mc. Emotionally i've been a bit of a mess, especially in the last week. It was stupid but when I had the operation, I worked out that the general election was 4 weeks away and I told myself that I'd love to get my period by then. So last night, with no show on the period, I was very I really need to stop setting mental deadlines for my body that I have no control over meeting.

I still keep thinking about the number of weeks I should be, hating pregnant celebs and staring at families of three in the street obsessively and enviously. So not over it at all and want desperately now to be pregnant again.

Anyway hello everyone and I hope that there are lots of BFP from amongst us.

xx

Hello all and thankyou for kind comments.
Pretty vacant hello! Have you ever know anyone choose a second medical mc because i NEVER would - home alone naturally was bearable and erpc easy but medical (shudder) ?

Westyorkshiregirl you do sound like superwoman - what city are you near ?

Been hobbling round today - stayed up much too late last night as love politics but maybe should have been more sensible. Then got asked out to lunch and had to go look round a friends new mansion house whilst her not knowing what i had been through...

I never tell people i am ttc and so have to be a bit alone in mc - hence mumsnet

Lindalinda - so sorry you have had to do all the soul searching. Oddly today I said to dh 'all i want is to be pg but today i am not and feel better than in weeks' its because i was so terrified of it not working i did not enjoy or relax for one minute of the short pg.
I too looked at my dcs and thought how lucky i am to have them - i too am older and will maybe try once more but mc hurts and for me it impacts on everyone and soon i may need to 'move on' if not in the direction i had dreamed off for so long

thought with you tonight

Grapenuts i have definitely been on threads with you before if not under this name hello and hope you are feeling brighter

please note minor alteration in my name !

Hello ladies, Pretty, I am having a difficult day. I took a pt hoping I might be pg but it came back negative. I dread having my period start. I must sound like a total head case. I cried in the car tonight on our way to get fish and chips tonight. I've tried to be so strong since the m/c. I went on a conference call 2 hours after it happened and have tried not to look back since then but it's catching up to me.

I like your idea Dorcas of having something specific to remember my bean. Maybe it would help. November was also my time too.

Thanks everyone for your wishes - its been an awful week for me but the tip of the iceberg compared to how my mate and her family are feeling. Some perspective too, that no matter how bad things seem there is always someone going through something worse. 8s - I have been saying that to my mate since the weekend, that I have a feeling she'll get pregnant now. With her Mum looking out for her, and her Mum's iron will, I'm really hopeful she will get that wee miracle baby.

Dorcas that's such a nice idea about the pendant, it would be comforting to have that. My baby was due in July, which is the same month as my birthday, so I might look into that. I had thought about a tatoo, which I've never had before. Just something little and discreet where no one else can see but I couldn't think what to get or where. Clare I systematically kill all houseplants but had hoped a little tree might fare better. Muser I sponsor a little boy in Sierra Leone, I'm so glad I did it. We write letters to each other too. He is only 7, and I get some photos seeing him grow. Its great to actually build a relationship and see where the money is going.

That's a tough milestone Jollster, its only natural to think what should be. Hope you're battering into some OB as we speak.

Linda sorry you're leaving us but respect the tough decision you have made. If you know its the right thing to do, which may save you more heartache, then I totally understand where you're coming from. All the best for the future pal x

Its exciting that you're coming to the end of the 3 month wait Muser. After what you've been through no wonder you are terrified. This time round will be a happy healthy baby, keep faith x

Cheepster I have been thinking about DC2 also being tricky. Speaking to a friend this week who had her 2nd in Feb, and who's DS is same age as my DD, and she is struggling to cope with the logistics. Visited another friend with 3 DCs under 6 a few days ago and it was bedlam! We got about 15 mins of chat and 20 unfinished conversations during the 3 hours. Even DD had her fingers in her ears at one point! We still would love a sibling for DD but I think i may have been under estimating how hard it will be to juggle - especially as I work full time. Glad your non-TTC is chilling you out

Welcome to the thread Grapenuts. I had an ERPC after a MMC too, you're still in very early days so be kind to yourself. I hear you on the deadlines, my biggie being needing to be pg by my due date. They really don't help, as you say, we have no control over what our bodies will do. Also hear you on the celebs - I'm sure Danni Minogue is due when I was so I avoid looking at her. I think we all obssess about being pregnant again early doors, what you're feeling is totally natural. Take care and well done for posting.

LAF sorry you're having a hard time today. All I can say is that it does get easier - although I couldn't imagine it ever would. It still hurts like hell but your spells of feeling ok and more positive get longer inbetween those dark days. Although you dread your period, and its is a vicious reminder that you're no longer pg, in a way its good to get back to some sense of normalcy. Take care hen x

Hello WYG, Aly, Littlemiss and anyone else who is about.

Lindalinda it sounds like you've made the right choice for you, best of luck with everything going forward.

Hugs to hairy, sorry you've had such a crap time of it.

I'm quite pleased to have made it to day 8 in my cycle without it seeming to drag forever, I hate the first part of the cycle, so dull.

I'm contemplating buying a CBFM, anyone tried them? I used to know exactly when I ovulated, but not so much any more, no major EWCM or anything like that. We tend to just go for a week r more of lots of SWI, but I;m wondering whether I should try and be a little bit more scientific about things...

Have got my first proper 24 hour break from parenting today, after 19 months! DP haas taken DS to visit the grandparents, and they're not coming back till tomorrow morning. I am completely overwhelmed with all the FREE TIME and am achieving nothing, naturally

Hi All
welcome aboard grapenuts I also had an erpc after mmc in jan. For me, ERPC was definitely the best option, but I think it took a while for my hormones to catch up with what had happened. remember horrendous PMT for about a week before first RTD (red tide of doom. Take care x

hairy hope you are feeling ok today - so sad for you.

Hopefully CBFM def helped me as I am pretty sure I didn't ovulate for first 2 cycles, so was delighted when I did last month. DH hates it though, so I might not use it this month.... he feels like a stud pony (he should be so lucky!)
Enjoy your day of freedom!

big waves to everyone else - sorry if you're having a crap day - at least it's a weekend eh?

Hi ladies, feeling a bit more human today and even managed a workout at the gym!

Welcome grapenuts I'm with you on the hating front.. If I read one more story about that Natalie Cassidy and how she just so happened to fall pregnant I'll scream I know it doesn't seem fair sometimes but our time will come! x

Big waves to moon you just quoted my smashing mother there. Always someone worse off and your so right.

Enjoy the free time today Hopefully do nothing if you feel the need who cares!

Hey WYG I have been to Monacoa couple of times with DP, when it suits and the sun shines Lovely place however all a bit false when you scratch the surface.

Hi to everyone else, hope your all having a wonderful weekend despite the weather.

Love to all x x x

Saturday's List

Urd TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD50
Redheadgal TTC#1 UCL 28-30 cycle WTF CD45
LucyT66 TTC#1 UCL33-34 cycle 4 CD43
JulesAbs TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 2 CD40
slimyak TTC#2 UCL26 cycle 4 CD38
dirtgirl TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD31
Scotchontherocks TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD27
Gonnabe TTC#1 UCL28 Cycle 2 C24
westyorkshiregirl TTC#1 UCL37 cycle 3 CD24
Magic8ballhastheanswers TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 3 CD20
Mummy3610 TTC#4 UCL 26-30 cycle 2 CD19
Pollyanna TTC#6 UCL27 cycle3 CD16
Curlylox TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 3 CD16
Dorcas11 TTC 1, UCL29, cycle 1, CD16
Moofold TTC#2 UCL~33 cycle3 CD14
Clareanna TTC#2 UCL35 cycle 3 CD10
LucySnowe TTC#2 UCL 40+ cycle 3 CD8
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 6 CD8
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD7
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL26-9 cycle 12 CD7
Littlemiss72 TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD3
BUnderthebonnet TTC#2 UCL 28-36 CD??

WTTC
Muser TTC#1 EP 18/02/10 Month 3 of 3 month wait
Cheepz TTC#2 MMC 26/3/10 2nd cycle post ERPC self imposed TTC amnesty
Jollster TTC#2 MMC 26/2/10 couple of cycles wait on acupuncturist advice
ElmMum TTC#2 MC 28/2-17/3/10 UCL 28/29 on cycle 1 of (self-imposed) 2 or 3 cycle wait
Freezing TTC#2 MC 28/3/10 on cycle 1 of 2 or 3 cycle wait
LadyBee TTC#2 ERPC 08/04/10
Digitalgirl TTC#2 MC 11/04/10
NBelle TTC#1 MC 09/04/10
MrsG/PrettyV Enjoying the view and the great company.

GRADUATES
amyboo - baby boy - Matthew
totally - baby girl - Faith
hoops997 BFP 11 July 2009 - baby boy - Benjamin
Memorylapse - Baby girl - Olivia
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
LeeWT BFP 21st January 2010
TFLS BFP 22nd January 2010
Louisesh BFP 22nd January 2010
MrsRigby BFP 27th January 2010
TheKurgan BFP 30th January 2010
effilump BFP 8th February 2010
Sarahlou8 BFP 10th February 2010
samanthab123 BFP 10th February 2010
redandyellowandpinkandgreen BFP 6th March 2010
floweringcurrant BFP 8th March 2010
HappyGirl1 BFP 23rd March 2010
Unbuffy BFP 28th March 2010
Zayja BFP 2nd April 2010
Barrenbrook BFP 6th April 2010
Goodluckbear BFP 10th April 2010
Malteser1981 BFP 11th April 2010
Gilda BFP 19th April 2010
AlbaDeTamble BFP 25th April 2010
sparklyrainbow BFP 25th April 2010
BunnyBaby BFP 27th April 2010
Margie32 BFP 26th April

Thanks for the welcome everyone.

Hopefully the CBFM sound brilliant. I am holding back though due to the ridiculous price tag. Have bought lots of the ovulation sticks from some cheapy place on the internet. I am not sure that they always work but they did do the trick last time even if the outcome wasn't what we wanted.

Right off to bake cakes. Am making a tea for family tomorrow. Think it will be scones and chocolate brownies. Not sure how much will be left by the time any guests actually arrive. Willpower is not my strong point.

Enjoy the weekend - weather crap but the TV is fun watching all the politicians kiss eachother's bottoms trying to do deals...

PS. One question. Everyone always says that it is early days for me since my mc. When exactly did you find that things got better for you? ie you were not jealous of pregnant people/did not think back to the mc and re-live the nightmare in your head etc.

gah grapenuts it gets more bearable. It's been nearly 4 months for me now.I think I stopped thinking about it all the time after about 8 weeks, but I still think about it a hell of a lot. I find pregnant tums fine, they give me hope. But what I still find quite tough is that I'm surrounded by friends who are all having or have had their second child, so I can't avoid a constant reminder that my little family is being left behind a bit. Just got back from a birthday party for a friend's little girl and 3 mums were there that I knew when I was on mat leave, haven't seen them since, they all had newborns in tow and asked me if I was thinking about having another.
If this was your first Pg it must be equally as hard. I think my mc is part of my life now, and I'll never forget it, but time will hopefully make it a sad memory in a life filled with happiness iykwim?

Its nearly 5 months since my MC and I still have total meltdowns - but much longer spells of being alright. I think Clare's right, about 8 weeks after I thought 'you know what, I am actually going to be ok'. I'm still surprised though by the intensity of feeling when it catches up with you again.

On pregnant tums, I'm still a bit off around my friends. Not intentionally but I find I can't act naturally and have to think out how I should be acting and what I should be saying.

Clare I remember you talking about how fond you are of your friend/ neighbour's bump. I'm not there yet but am meeting my friend who is due a few weeks before I was next week. This is her first pregnancy and I feel like I've been a terrible friend, totally avoiding her since the start of the year. Must make amends.

On the CBFM - I'm on month two with mine and so far so good, except for getting pregnant I guess! Can't remember who was asking about CM a few days back but I definitely get my most fertile looking a few days before I get my peak on the monitor. I think someone else has also said this in the past?

Weather is gorgeous up here for a change! Have had a lovely day with DD and some wine may be in order later.........

Clareanna and Moofold that is really helpful re: the time it takes to start getting over things. I feel guilty being so down about the mc as I already have 2 DC. I should be satisfied with my lot but I have always really wanted a third. That is why my unpleasant envy is now pointed at people with 3 children. I have a friend ready to have her third and I completely relate to what clareanna says about having to think about how I am acting. It is hard work. I am happy for her - just so

hi ladies, welcome grapenuts sorry you find yourself here!

on when did you get over it i guess for me it was after 2nd mc which was 6 cycles after 1st! There were phases in the 6 cycles where i felt ok, and the abject misery stopped after 2 or 3 cycles, after that it was just disappointment, misery and desparation everytime the RTD appeared. But after 2nd mc felt relieved I could get pg - had begun to wonder and mc very early so then just thought well lets try again. most recent mc i was actually over the worst by the time was home from ERPC I was feeling emotionally fine .. I think you get stronger, and you get used to it. That being said i know I would find it much harder if I didn't have DS as I would be wanting a child rather than another one and I think there is a difference in the pressure of that situation - the pressures for another are all about age gap and friends with kids the same age and everyone asking you when you will have another one and I have found the age gap is no longer and issue and whether i have a second at the same time as my ante natal friends also, but the pressure to have the first is different as once you know you really want to you just want it for yourself so much - that might not make any sense to anyone but me - not sure i artculated that well at all!!

On CBFM I hide mine, but of the four cycles I had at end 09 beginning 10 I got pregnant in cycles 3 and 4 (early mc and late mc but timing was bang on) and what it showed me was that my EWCM was peaking 3 days before my peak ovulation on the monitor so we had been swi abit early. I def recommend. I am using now and has just gone high for this cycle so no shagging at all for me and DH until we are post peak due to ttc amnesty.

he knows i have it - i just hide it so he doesn't have to see it - DH that is - it puts him off his stride!!

hello all and looking forward to being on the ttc list
hairy hope you are ok

feeling absolutely wiped out today - total exhaustion dh says its the GA but worse than yesterday oddly

really odd too - just light spotting and NO cramps at all since erpc is this normal?

have already done a pg test to see if it was lighter but of course not it looked nice and strong and i appear to have put on weight all to make me feel great

am having perspective on it though as lucky to have dcs but am rubbish at not crying over the pg neighbour etc - reckon i am just too selfish

Waves back to grapenuts

Bumped into dh of friend who's pg with #2. He said you do know she's preggars. I said yes and asked how she was as she was the one worried about mc-ing. He said she was suffering badly with ms. I said that's good, which threw him. I meant good as in strong hormones (so it's a safe pg). Realised afterwards I should have said congratulations and made sympathetic noises about ms.

Am already annoyed with ds as it's been 3 days since our last swi and I think I'm fertile (although i prob won't ovulate till after the first period). Don't know why I want to be pg again when I'm actually enjoying not being pg - not having to rush to the loo every hour to check if I've started spotting. Not worrying about every twinge and cramp.

Sorry for no name checking am on phone.

Hi Grapenuts - did you say you've just got your period? We had our ERPCs at the same time iirc, and I've been feeling period-y for the last week or so but still no sign. I'm just hoping it comes soon.
I'm all set up with my CBFM and sticks - got both from sellers on ebay for much less than high street prices.
I had a small meltdown this morning - after sex for the first time after MC with DH. Poor thing, having his DW dissolve into tears while cuddling after was probably a bit alarming but he understood. I was a bit surprised as had been feeling very 'fine' and distanced from the whole thing and had been itching to get back into the swing of things (so to speak), but it all just came flooding back - and the prospect of SWI was so depressing.

It's so cold and grim. I'm going to have to take DS off to toddlersworld tomorrow he needs to run off some steam or we're all going to start screaming at each other.

LadyBee yeah, you're right - we had the ERPC on the same day. Got my period yesterday. Hope that you get yours soon too. When I had the operation they said it should be around 4-6 weeks. Mine might have been on the lower end of that as i usually have really short cycles. Re: the prospect of SWI - completely agree about it being a depressing prospect. I just found the pressure so tiresome last time.

I'm still in WTF cycle, but it seems I'm ovulating bang on my normal cd 23 (counting from the day I used the cytotec and bled). I'm excited to know it's all good and working again, but it has put me in a funk about starting to ttc again. It is such a stressful and desperate time and I hate the way it makes me feel/act. I'm already obsessing about how we may have missed the window this month(and I'm not even supposed to be trying).

Good news is that I can now blame last night's raging bitchiness on hormones. I got very naggy about everything last night. DH was not my biggest fan by the end of the night.

Yesterday, my pregnant co-worker started complaining to me about gaining weight. I reacted very badly by basically telling her to get over it, and that she should just be happy to be pregnant. I felt bad and could tell that I had hurt her feelings, but I decided not to apologize. It's the second time in as many days that she has started to bitch about things associated with her pregnancy. I know she doesn't mean to do this, but it makes me crazy!

Moofold, I do find the necklace very comforting to have- so far I have two little silver charms on it, I've yet to find something with the birthstone to hang on it, so not complete yet, but already I am finding it a big help. I think that it is because it is easy to feel like everyone else has forgotten and life is just moving on and it is a little declaration to myself that I haven't and won't ever forget, nor would I want to. I feel like I have a part of my little one close to me. It has been more comforting than I imagined and has given me a bit of a lift.
Aly323, does your pregnant co-worker know that you lost a baby? If so she sounds very insensitive to me. I'm sure she doesn't mean to hurt your feelings but honestly, moaning about being pregnant to someone that has not been as lucky as her is just not on. Good for you for not apologizing, maybe she'll think twice before opening her mouth next time. If anything good can come out of my m/c I hope that if (no, when) I am lucky enough to be pregnant again, I will have a lot more compassion and understanding for anyone who might be struggling to be round pregnant women.
Ladybee I hope you are feeling better- I felt very vulnerable the first time we had sex after the m/c. And the thought of starting all over again with conceiving is a hard one- my last pregnancy wasn't planned, although it was very much wanted, so the idea of TTC still feels very strange. Perhaps if we had decided to TTC having not had a m/c I would feel more relaxed about letting it happen, but instead I desperately want to get back to being pregnant and it feels unbearable not being pregnant.
Morning everyone else, sorry not to namecheck but need to eat my toast and get in the shower- I've got a much needed hair appointment! x x

Hi all

So a bit of a slowdown after the rash of wonderful BFPs - viv, I am so sorry that all the symptoms came to nothing. I swear my body is lying to me as well, both times recently just before RTD I got massively sore boobs. And sometimes even now I get a twinge or feel a bit sick or something and reflexively think 'ooh, pregnant' and then I remember I'm on CD 8 and there's no way it can be that. It's horrid.

Otherwise this cycle is looking good - temps are right and RTD is just tailing off. Fingers crossed for everyone over the next few days.