Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome (Part2)

[Magic8ballhastheanswers]

Nice clean thread for us - may there be many a BFP on here

Hi ladies! Feel much better today!

Pretty how are you doing today???????????????

Wow Muser what a story! I was really quite choked up reading that.

Aly you know what..... I think sometimes we can get so caught up in this ttc web that you forget about life outside your calendar, when what we really need is to let our hair down - I certainly let mine down this weekend and I feel so much better for it!

Bag any bargins Littlemiss?

Welcome with open arms wildsheep x

about the stranger Digi!

Big hugs Viv here when you need hun to listen, I am dreading that week too - we will hold hands together xxx

Big wave to anyone I have missed off - hope you are having an ok afternoon - anyone for an Mr Kips Angel Slice?

x

PS Good move Lucy

Magic8, I absolutely agree! TTC gets way too consuming and stressful, and the occasional distraction is much needed.

I just had a way awkward moment. I work in a big building. I was on a crowded elevator and saw an acquaintance I hadn't seen for awhile. She's just returned to work from maternity leave. There were also familiar faces on the elevator. I asked about the baby and how she felt about being back. She replied that she's finding it easier than she had expected. I mentioned that it is always a relief to me to hear this. She of course asked if I was pregnant. I said "no, we're trying, but I just lost one." She was very apologetic about having asked in such a public place. I was apologetic (and embarassed) for responding so bluntly in such a public place. A man I know, who was standing between us, expressed his sympathies. It was so awkward.

I think I just wanted recognition that we're not just trying, but we're REALLY trying and that I was pregnant for awhile. I'm open about ttc and have been about the miscarriage as well. However, I kind of wish I hadn't announced it there. She was so nice though. She really said the things most don't and recognized how hard it must have been. We're going to have lunch together Friday.

Digitalgirl very funny!

Any news PrettyV? Lucy, get nice and comfy on the grads list, I think you'll be there for a good stay!

Viv, I'm sorry about the black cloud. I hope this week passes relatively quickly and you're able to make it as managable as possible. Good things will happen soon.

I was totally bad the last few days and SWI'd multiple times. I had pos opk, bitchiness and cramps. I just couldn't control myself. I'm like a ttc addict. Now, I'm all worn out but still waiting on the temp rise.

Ok, now I HAVE to actually get back to the work I'm taking a break from. So easy to distract myself.

Thanks magic and aly. Also good luck and lots of baby dust on the start of the angst-ridden TWW and for everyone else coming up to the SWI-fest or TWW.

I just wanted to say to others who are thinking it's never going to happen, that I really really felt that way this month too. My partner and I had had a big chat and decided we'd try one more month then use our savings for IVF. This is mainly cos of my age (39). I know it's not dead old, but for a first baby, it was beginning to feel worryingly ancient, and that it might never happen.

I know that it's very early days for me, but if the constant queasiness is anything to go by (I didn't have this at all last time), then maybe (fx) it's planning to stick around.

I know that everyone on this thread, apart from the lovely ladies currently WTTC, goes through every emotion possible each month - hope, possibility, then the damn disappointment, frustration and envy and anger.

But I think, hope, pray, keep fx that everyone here is going to get the little baba they so desperately want this month or, if not, in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or maybe 6 months' time.

Love and baby dust xxx

Congrats on your positive step Lucy

Hello to the new ladies.

I got a bit of a curve ball from my dd on Saturday. She hasn't said anything about the mc since we got back from the holiday when it happened (she's 3 and I assumed she had kind of forgotten about it). We were in the car and she said "Mummy, your baby died, didn't it?" We had been quite frank with her at the time to avoid confusion, but coming out of the blue like that it was a bit of a stunner.

Oh BUBonnet thats so sad and sweet at the same time. My DS was 2.9 when had thrid mc which was late enough he knew about the baby and he also realised and said ' Mummys baby gone" while rubbing my tummy, he followed up with 'thats sad, but mummy and daddy can make another one' - they understand so much its terrifying\very brave Lucy good on you

aly i know what you mean about the work thing and having people understand, i had a whole thing where people at work knew we were trying and i wanted them to know about the mc because i wanted them to know I am getting pregnant, just not staying pregnant!! I think it is abit of a shocker for people because noone talks about miscarriage but I am totally open about it now and find thats just easier for me

viv love to you my honey

magic glad you have found a positive frame of mind to roll with, its good when you go through high phases, life feels so much better and goals seem much more achievable - even ttc goals

right i have been a fatty today and eaten a whole bag of those fird chilli flavour rice snacks and a tub of banoffee pudding desert, time to pay for those calories with a workout - got these 10minute solutions DVDs which have 5 10 min sections - I just do all 5 so its 50 minutes - got 4 so rotate to avoid boredom - they are actually very good!! - trying to counter my eating banoffee pud means they need to be!!

Viv you're in for a tough week, I hope you muddle through alright. I'm sure you've gots lots of support from your DH, friends and family - and us of course when you need us. Thinking of you, and 8s too, during this month with your milestones.

LucyT good stuff on making the move and I liked your thinking on us all getting there eventually. Glad to hear you are feeling chronically sick!

Aly I totally understand wanting people to know. I think its about acknowledging the loss the same way people would for a bereavement. I told afew people at work but the main reason I didn't tell more was because i couldn't talk about what happened without crying. Just do what you need to, if that means telling people do just that.

MrsPrettyG - where are you? What's the news?

Welcome back Freezing sorry you're literally freezing your arse off. We're going on a break to one of the western isles at the end of the week and i bet its going to be baltic!

BUBonnet and Cheepz your words from your wee ones are so poignant, little souls. We hadn't told our DD, who was 2 months shy of 3 at the time. We were all set to tell her the day we found out it wasn't to be at the 12 week scan. I was really excited about telling her because she has been telling us she would like a sister (not a brother mind!). I really hope I get to that point again and can deliver for her, a sibling if not another little girl to play with.

Had a good day today with DD and my friend who is due same time i was. Wasn't as hard seeing her today for some reason, even when I had to explain to DD why her tummy is so big - which is a first. When I told her there was a baby in there, and that she came from my tummy, she said 'that's mysterious!'. I explained about babies growing in there, like the plants we planted, until they are big enough to come and she inevitably followed up with 'how did the baby get in there?'.........

Hello to all the others and welcome to WildSheep, you've had a terrible time of it x

muser thanks for that link, I do find it helps to hear these positive outcomes even when the stories are so sad.

littlemiss have you planned what you're going to buy or are you just going to see whether inspiration strikes? Lucky thing going on holiday...I LOVE holiday - I'm much better at it than being at work at the moment

PrettyV your silence is a little worrying - hope things are ok?

Viv I don't know what to say, just wanted to let you know we're here for all the hand-holding and shoulder-leaning that you may need in the next week. Please don't worry about 'going on' - say what you need as much as you need.

Freezing I hope you enjoy having a bit more time now that you're easing off the freelance work. I did some rough calculations just the other day trying to work out what I'd need to invoice each month if I were to go freelance and reduce DS's childcare time. It's do-able but would mean a pretty major life-shift for me...it's appealing but I'm not totally sure, am going to continue to mull it over for a while. Have you always been freelance? How did you make that decision?

digitalgirl, yeah I know, I'm just lazy and in denial about my eating. I need to give myself a good kick up the bottom and take a bit more care of my diet.

aly I sometimes think that part of what makes miscarriage so hard to cope with is the silence in society about it. It's definitely getting more talked about, at least in the media, but amongst 'real life' people it's still something that very few people openly discuss - which I think just makes it harder when it happens to you. I totally get the feeling of wanting it acknowledged - I think that's why I told a not-so-close friend the other week, we were talking about ttc and for me, ttc and mc just go together, unfortunately.

BUnder, I'm constantly astounded at how much the little ones understand and remember. And Moo, just love 'that's mysterious' - it is, isn't it!

So ladies who temp, I've been charting for about three weeks and definitely saw a rise and have been hovering at the higher temperature for a while. This morning I dropped a bit, although not down to my lowest yet. I'm just wondering what normally happens at the end of a cycle temp-wise. Would I drop then a bit later get period, or would it coincide with drop? As you can probably guess, I'm impatient for my RTD...so am trying to predict what might happen next ('cos I couldn't just sit and see now, could I )

Just a quick response while switching off laptop Bee - yes, I would say RTD is on its way. My temp drops like that at the end of each cycle and RTD appears that day or the following day. Hope that happens for you too. Night all x

just popping in to say nun night and saw that you mentioned about other childrens reactions (BUnder & Cheepz aren't kids just so wonderful at getting you like that)......DD1 knew I was pg and said to me after I came out of hosp, that there was no baby anymore (she was also 2.9) but I couldn't go into details. We always kinda though we would wait until she asked....which the child bereavement trust suggested too. Occasionally she refers to me being pg but nothing else, but she did mention it to a teacher at nursery (they know the situation). I am a little concerned she might put the pieces of the puzzle together at our Tommys fundraising party........Help. Do you think I should tell her something briefly????

Moo I love what your DD said about the baby! What did you say to her? My DD is totally uninterested in anyone that is pg although my sis is duffed up so I wonder if she might take an interest now.

Lucy what lovely positive words, that made me a little emotional! xx

Aly that is nice that she said the right things - enjoy your lunch! x I don't hide it anymore..... it has been a very big and significant part of my life. I also think
if you are not sure if you can handle the answer don't ask the question!!!

pretty hope you are ok hun xx

Viv - will be here with tea and cake tomorrow? xx

Morning.

I'm fine, sorry for not coming on yesterday.
Feeling a little weird tbh.
BFN R2D2 d29? 9pm?
Body's fucking with me for some reason
Thanks for thinking of me x

I was shitting myself, but really disappointed when I POAS
We've not been SWI but not using anything either.
I had ben keeping check on OV signs and not doing what I'd like to do iyswim.

I suppose it's very stupid to play roulette every month but half of me thinks that we've had enough bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck that next time it has to be ok.

I hope I actually find something out tomorrow, I have a tendancy to overanalyze things and I'm now thinking that they must have the blood results, they already know it's not good so thats why they said I had to have a follow up app.

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

Charlie Brown

Sorry 'nuff of mememe.

Viv Huugggee bear hugs and virtual manic hair stroking.
Thinking of you mate,hope Tuesday is treating you better.

Welcome home Freezing warmed up yet?

BUnder Ahh, your DD sounds so sweet.
It's amazing how their little minds work.

Waves to everyone and I'll catch up properly later,Rellies are going home today and I have to go sit in their new car say goodbye and get ready for work.

Laters xx

Really sorry for the low profile recently and for not name-checking. I know there's been a lot of disappointment on here - Viv - thinking about you girl. PrettyV - hope you're ok. Aly - big hugs. Wildsheep - my heart goes out to you.

I've been feeling pretty low - was letting the WTF cycle get me down. Finally scored a + on an OPK test last Tuesday and, elated that my body actually seemed to be doing something, we did crazy amounts of SWI last week.

By Saturday night, when my OPK were even more positive (the 2nd line had grown increasingly darker during the week) I began to worry about the amount of LH in my body. By midnight I had convinced myself I had a tumour on my pituitary gland (high LH, no periods etc) and started panicking about calling my doctor.

Yesterday, yet another google search "Positive OPK for a week" resulted in the surprising news that OPKs can be used as HPTs. I didn't know this. Didn't have a clue and it certainly doesn't say so in the OPK instructions. More googling revealed that OPKs also detect HcG. Feeling like I'd been hit by a bus I took a pg test - got a BFP!

Feeling a cocktail of joy, relief and shock (as I had no idea I had already ovulated) and a smidgen of guilt for knackering my poor DH last week. Today it's mostly disbelief mixed with terror. Not going to believe it (and definitely not 'graduate') until I get some serious symptoms. So I'm going to carry on hanging out here for a while if that's ok.

Love to you all on this rollercoaster ride.

xxxx

Ah big congrats redhead - that's lovely news x

PrettyV - sending you lots of love and hair strokage back! Hope today goes well - will be thinking of you x

Went to see the Doctor this morning to have the whole, "It's been a year since we started trying. What gives?" chat. She's a lovely lady and remembered me from January when I was concerned that there was still some bits and pieces left behind from the termination. Anyway, she's going to do the blood tests just to make sure I am ov'ing, but on the whole, suggested the minute we stop thinking about it, it will happen. Which we all know is easier said than done. Sigh.

Aside from that, thanks for all your lovely words. Especially to whoever said, "If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question" ... It's my niece's 2nd birthday party on Sunday and I'm dreading it as there are members of DH's family who will be there who I don't think know about our losses. Given one of them wrote in our wedding guest book something along the lines of, "Hurry up and have a baby!" I know that we'll get the inevitable questions. And as all this will be two days before Gracie's due date, I'm fucking terrified that I'm going to have a minor breakdown in a soft play centre.

(Do you think they'll let me smuggle a hipflask full of sauvignon blanc in, to help get me through in-law hell?)

Do it Viv You can hide in a corner of the ball pool or behind the big slide with cake in a tipsy stupor and claim you're helping the kids.

Hushed Woo-hoo for RHG made up for you!
Take it easy and here's hoping the next 8mnths are very boring for you.

Really must move, new car very nice ,very James Bond, lots of buttons to press = very worried look on Rellies face.
I likes messing I do!

I might go and hang around to see if they'd like to run me to the station

Congratulations RHG! What a great way to avoid the 2 week wait!

Good luck for tomorrow pretty. Fingers crossed for you.

Congrats Red, that was a nice surprise!

MrsPretty glad to hear you're ok - best of luck for tomorrow.

Viv do you need to go to the party? In terms of self-preservation I wouldn't think twice about blanking it. I watched my best mate go through a similar event days after they found out the first IVF hadn't worked and it tore her apart. Just see how you're feeling and if its too much don't go - be selfish if you need to be. Can't think of anything worse that well meaning idiotic comments like that. I'm sure your DH will totally understand.

8s I chickened out on answering straight. I copped out with 'that's just where babies grow' or something equally vague and got no further questions. Not so sure what you should tell DD before the event? Maybe wait until she actively asks as the experts suggest?

RHG that's fantastic, so pleased for you.
Sorry for everyone having a rough time at the moment. viv, how about your own tub of vodka jelly, they'll never know... I am definitely of the tell people school of thought. It feels like a denial that my baby was ever real to not say anything, which I personally find very hard. (Although I can see why some people might not want to talk about it). I like the 'don't ask if you can't handle the answer' philosophy too!

Good luck tomorrow pretty you are definitely due some good luck for a change.

I've just been to the doctors for my smear test- the nurse asked me if I was pregnant and I broke down sobbing. Stupid NHS with their inability to communicate with each other, I had no idea that I had to call my GP to update them myself. She was so lovely though, this nurse, she could not have been kinder or more gentle and the smear test was not too bad. She took a blood sample to check my ruebella immunity too. To be honest I think it was just being back in a medical setting that just brought it all back. I'd been feeling so much better as well, so was a bit shocked when I suddenly started crying. Anyway, I bought myself some flowers and a slice of cake on the way home to cheer myself up. Still feel a bit wobbly though- it's strange how these things just suddenly get you.

Yep, they wouldn't forgive me. DN's birthday is actually on Gracie's due date, so rather than see her on that day (which I really couldn't face), the compromise is that we go to the party on the Sunday instead. It's going to be a grin and bear it job.

Actually, Viv I just read Moofold's post and want to say ignore my stupid vodka jelly joke, I agree with her- just don't go if it feels like it will be too much. You have to look after yourself first and it does sound like it will be quite an ordeal, which you don't need. It is already a tough enough time for you with Gracie's due date coming up- you don't need anything else making it harder.

Oops, cross posted with you Viv. Honestly love, please don't feel you have to grin and bear it. If other people get angry at you and don't understand than that really is their problem- they aren't the ones who have to cope with what you are going through. I'm sure they'll get over it, but I don't see why you should do this to yourself to keep them happy.

morning lovelies.......will be back later to read all and name check properly.....DD1 has come out in chicken pox this morn................Great!

magic8 can i bring DS round for a pox party - he is 3 next month and I am desparate for him to have it while hes a wee one

RHG quietly wooting for you!

MrsPV thats sucks - its alwasy so disappointing when you think you might but youre not sure and then youre not!! I know what you mean about trying not to but not being careful and then not knowing whats what - although I am playing it so safe that DH must feel like he is in a barren wasteland of shaglessness since I have been totally avoiding any contact since mc - just not felt like it - we are going to need to get our groove back! Not now though currently CD12 and CBFM is showing High so hes not coming anywhere near me.

viv i hear you on feeling like you must go - but seriously I think that this is a time to put yourself first - and see how you feel. If its really feeling too hard then I say stay home, if you get there and can't handle it - leave. People just don't ge thte gravity of it all sometimes. Its super crapola.

Right need to work today hard to focus when you are basically waiting to resign!!

Cheepz bring him round to mine. We're stuck at home with suspected pox - but if the pox doesn't come out by tonight then it'll just have been a normal bug. He got exposed 10 days ago. He's very chirpy and the only possible sign is a rash on his back. I'm desperately trying to do work in between entertaining him!!!

Woop, have made it to CD11 without getting stressed about TTC! And so we enter a week or more of relentless SWI. DP will be so heartbroken . Didn't end up buying an OPK, but if there's no BFP this month I definitely will.

Congratulations RHG! What a lovely shock.

Pretty good luck tomorrow I hope you get some answers x

I am chuffed to see another BFP!!!!!! Yay RHG! Viv I agree with Moo Dorcas & Cheepz if you can make your excuses, do. Don't feel under pressure to go, I am sure people will understand. But if you do go, deep breaths babe and just tell the truth if you can or just say something along the lines of Mother Bitch Mother Nature hasn't been kind to us in that department (which I have used before when I don't want to go into detail) but as I said if they ask it they should be prepared for any answer.......! Will be thinking of you (((((((BIGSQUISH))))))) Glad Drs are gonna do some blood tests thats good. xxxxx

Moo thanks, I was thinking about waiting until she asks , she will probably be too excited with the cakes balloons and disco to ask - thank god the pox came out now and not in 2 weeks!

Hope the cake and flowers have perked you up Dorcas xxxx

Well done not stressin Hopefully! Tigger has DS got spots? DD has been a little under the weather for about 2 weeks - constant crusty nose , clingy and tired. She vomed on sat & had temp but Drs said ear infection yesterday. She hasn't had a rash but has a few blister spots on her tum and back of her neck......a mummy friend popped in and said the spots are def CP. You would never know she has been painting and singing and playing all morning......IF my luck was in this month this is seriously pants timing (although I had CP as a kid and remember it being horrible so I am not panicking......but I am feeling well itchy!!!)

Well on day 23 I think - shall I update the list? Not symptom spotting as have no symptoms and any that I think I have I am probably making up!

Right off for another pox spot check and I'll be back to do the list!!