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Conception

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30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

995 replies

Scorpette · 23/04/2010 10:13

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

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Ariesgirl · 08/05/2010 21:11

In that case, I should have no cramps at all, being out in the cunnrysoide. Dunno about that theory, Mountie . My mum's here at the moment and the cramps have been fucking unbelievable this evening. Labour will be a doddle after this. No, it really will She has been surprisingly sympathetic. Would usually be bellowing "What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER?" but this time, has cooked tea and looked at me in concern. Painkillers (paracetamol and nurofen - must be bad) have just kicked in though. Aaaaah! Washed down with rose wine - hopefully I won't fall into a coma.

Ariesgirl · 08/05/2010 21:13

As for four ibuprofen in a month being bad, I've just taken 6 in 24 hours plus 6 paracetamol. Is that bad?

MountTheFairy · 08/05/2010 21:40

Ouch, I guess my cramps are not bad at all! Ehm, are you meant to take paracetamol and ibuprofen together? As for the rose, tried and tested - I am sure you are fine there. Good mama Arial.

What are you having for tea? I fancy something nice. Had the most dissapointing take away for lunch... and I think I am just starting the most boring chat in da world. I blame all the other BESHes for having a life.

Where in da countryside are ya Ari?

ginhag · 08/05/2010 21:50

Past 48 hours: 6 ibuprofen, 12 paracetomol/codeine, 12 soluble asprin.

Where's my prize?

ginhag · 08/05/2010 21:52

Sorry droid is being so shit Aries. Was bad enough the fucking rustbucket dared to turn up...

ginhag · 08/05/2010 22:01

and just realised I actually meant past 36 hours.

and I can't remember the last time I managed to write just one post...

MountTheFairy · 08/05/2010 22:06

Ouch. I am starting to feel bad about my little whiny crampy moaning. What's the plan with the evil tooth GinGin?

Ariesgirl · 08/05/2010 22:16

Am in deepest Kernow Mountie maid. And had macaroni cheese for tea. Just about managed to eat between groans. Woe is me! Actually feel better now. But will no doubt strike me down at about 4am, as per normal. Moan moan moan.

My mum, who's a nurse, says you can take ibuprofen and paracetamol at the same time no prob. As did the doc when I had pneumonia. Anyone remember Jonny Briggs, the kids' TV prog? There was a little girl on it who always used to say in a Yorkshire accent "My mum, who's a nurse,..."

Fuck, Ginnie, you definitely win prize for most painkiller usage .

Scorpette · 08/05/2010 22:41

Gin, you are a double-hard bastard all right Even the mildest toothache is a mutha, so you have my deepest simpaffiez. So much so, I'll stick to groping you instead of snogging Hope you get the git whipped out ASAP.

Aries, you are threatening my current title of Queen of Period Pain I've mentioned it on here before, but I have a three-pronged attack on cramps that does work. If they're super-mental it doesn't take them all away (well, it doesn't with my mental ones), but it stops me from being an incoherent, writhing mass of semi-conscious, vomiting agony, unable to speak, eat, walk or stop shaking: paracetamol, Buscopan and a stick-on hot pad.

Buscopan can be bought from any supermarket or chemist from the IBS shelves (name is 'Buscopan IBS') - it's a strong anti-spasmodic that works on the whole area below the navel, so don't be put off by the IBS tag. In Germany, the no. 1 treatment for period pain is a combined Paracetamol & Buscopan tablet.

I also swear by those pads you stick on your clothes over your wombular area; tis like being able to carry a hot water bottle about all day. I just wear leggings and stick on of those on 'em, then wear a dress/skirt over and all is cool.

Needles Lady also commended me on using hot pads, as warmth is essential to womb health (or summat).

Hope this is not patronising - dunno if you've heard me going on about my cramps before, but as most people on here know, I have to be hospitalised at least once a year for mine, so do know what I'm talking about solutions-wise

Have been blubbing like a twat on and off all day. Have realised that I always get very teary and pessimistic on D3 of cycle - this is when FH is kicking in, so maybe this is the effect it has on me. At least now I see this pattern I can take a step back and not get so taken over by feelings of helplessness. I hope.

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careylouwho · 08/05/2010 23:33

Hey there cramp sufferers, just thought I'd add in my top tip for kicking cramps' ass. Years ago when I was a young, care-free slip of a thing living in my far away homeland, I suffered from crippling agony every month (this improved vastly during my brazen-hussy-on-the-pill years, proof that chastity is over-rated). My doctor prescribed Naproxen which is an anti-inflammatory and is AMAZING. It's sold here as Feminax Ultra, which I think only came out a year or two ago. Honestly, they work better than anything else I've ever tried. I swear I don't work for the drug company.I don't even own shares. Really, I don't, I promise

Scorps So agree about the stick on heat pads-so much relief and better than walking aaround with a hot water bottle down your pants!

I've been lurking for a few days - feeling quite menkul at the moment as think I'm 12dpo. Can't stop testing. Not getting desired result. Think I'll be breaking out the Feminax Ultra myself very soon. Bugger.

Ariesgirl · 09/05/2010 10:20

Not patronising at all, and I don't think I'll ever wrest that title from your grasp, Scorps. Am grateful for the advice. I have had the same hot water bottle with its sheep cover (no Welsh jokes, right?) since I was a teenager and it's a member of the family. A combo of drugs is what I'm finding increasingly effective these days. It's funny - some months I think these days are behind me and then out of nowhere the sledgehammer strikes. Those pads sound like the biznzz - there have been many occasions when I have gone to work with a hot water bottle stuffed down my trousers.

Maybe this month's episode was sort and sharp though - am fine now, though have the horrid, wiped out yucky sticky feeling. Or shall I just hop in the shower?!

MountTheFairy · 09/05/2010 11:02

Sorry carex. All body parts crossed for you. Say, where is your far away homeland?

I am out on the cramp advice. Turns out I am a wimp with mild pains. I can discuss migraine if anyone fancies?

In da library on Sunday? Can anyone talk Mitchell, groping, etc? I kinda need to cheer up. And coffee not allowed in da librarie. Have any / all of you hags given up the evil kofee in the TTC efforts? Apparently I have way too much (2 caps a day).

Muser · 09/05/2010 11:32

I have given up nothing in this TTC business Mounts. I'm not really a coffee drinker, but I make up for it with tea and diet coke. Still drink booze, still eat too much. I takes my folic acid like a good girl now. But I was even rubbish at remembering that until the ectopic, it's only because of the drugz side effects that I've got good.

PerfectDromedary · 09/05/2010 11:40

Morning peeps. gin hope your teefs are feeling better, scorps I second your buscopan advice. At least the needles eased some discomfort, even if it didn't last - think how much better it will be next month.

I've had parentals here this weekend, while having the worst cold I've had in ages. Poor loves, all I really did was sit on the sofa and blow my nose dolefully.

All those who are hearing oncoming droid bleeps: it is a fuckbastard. Time for near-criminal amounts of self-indulgence, I spect.

Still confuzzled about the election, but v happy about the BNP losses. London now has more Labour councils than before, which makes NO sense, but feels like A Good Thing.

PerfectDromedary · 09/05/2010 11:43

Oooh! I gave up everything immediately after diagnosis, but is impossible to sustain. Am now allowing self occasional boozes (waves at Cho) and occasional caffeine. Will probably regret this when IVF fails, but whatevs

Scorpette · 09/05/2010 11:53

I hate coffee and tea and am allergic to caffeine, so you may polish my halo as we chill in the library this avo

BTW, did anyone read this in the Family section of the Grauniad? Bloke's super-unlucky wife has a miscarriage, then has left ovary removed due to severe endo an' shiz, then has to have right tube removed due to an ectopic! IVF keeps failing but miraculously, she fell pg naturally!!! Apparently, in rare cases, a single tube will 'lasso' the opposite ovary! From super-unlucky to super-lucky! They now have a lovely daughter. If that's not inspiring, I dunno what is! Is also a touching article about a man's feelings about coping with the agony of baby-fail, etc.

Am going stir-crazy not being able to have sex (still 9 days to go!). Whatever ishoos me and TYF might have TTC, a good sex life isn't one of them. Whassapoint in having a delectable toyboy if you can't molest him incessantly? And he keeps on wearing those skinny jeans, the flaunting man-whore!

Also, am v confused by letter from dildocam department of hospital - says I'm booked in for a transvaginal scan and a transabdominal scan. And then it tells me I have to simultanteously have a pint and 1/2 of liquid inside me for the latter but an empty bladder for the second! I guess they let you rush off to piss like a racehorse between the two? But I'm meant to be having a pelvic ultrasound and my Zita West bible book says a pelvic ultrasound is different from a transvaginal scan, and that the ultrasound is vastly superior. Will have to ring 'em up to ask wha' gw'aan tomorrow

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PerfectDromedary · 09/05/2010 12:08

Ultrasound stuff is deeply confusing. I have no idea what they want you to do. What is difference between pelvic ultrasound and transvaginal ultrasound, pliz?

Loved miracle baby article.

Ariesgirl · 09/05/2010 12:14

Scorps, that's really weird. Because I have been reading that literally this minute and was about to post to that effect. It was very touching wasn't it and he seems like a lovely man. Their daughter is beautiful too. That is definitely the "luckiest" case of natural conception I've heard of.

As an aside you believe that my mother has been buying the Guardian for years and didn't realise it was left wing?

Re the different scans, yes phoning and asking does sound like the best course of action .

I gave up caffeine and alcohol for about a week until I realised I'd become even more of an awful grouch. Now drink about 8-10 units a week and 2-3 cups of tea a day. Which according to likes of Zita is probably v bad.

I'm still in my dressing gown

This post is a bit trail of consciousness isn't it?

Traa la la la la

Ariesgirl · 09/05/2010 12:21

Mean "can you believe" of course.

One more cringeworthy admission to add to the dressing gown. This morning I searched for Nick Clegg on Google images! This is getting out of hand, especially seeing as he's turning into a Tory-loving bastard before our very eyes. But maybe it's all to get Vince as Chancellor ? Can just see Osborne going for that.

Scorpette · 09/05/2010 12:25

Thanks for encouraging cramps pep talk, lovely Drombeat I don't think I know the difference between the 2 dildocam types. Am having nagging feeling that they're possibly the same thing and I'm confuzzled by the slightly differing names and am thinking of summat else when saying they're different. Will Google 'em now. All I know is that I have to get me rat aaht!

Incidentally, some yoofs in a car shouted 'Get yer rat ahht!' to me just the other day. I declined.

Aries, aren't most posts trails of consciousness? Don't worry about it

And Camelina, the IVF will not fail. I personally will not allow such an option. Do you hear me, IVF Gods???

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Scorpette · 09/05/2010 12:34

I heart Vince Cable (even if he looks and sounds like a Vampire accountant). Wonder if the Lib Dems would've done better with him as leader? Although people seem obsessed with having relatively young politicians as party leaders nowadays

Have been thick about the pelvic scan wording - pelvic ultrasound and transvaginal scan are the same and I must've been thinking about summat else (not due to me reading far too many scary books about TTC and fertility, ahem ). And yep, you have the outer one first, do a massive wee, then return for dildocam funtime. At last, we will discover the final resting place of Shergar (please add own traditional jokes about what they find with internal scans here)!

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PerfectDromedary · 09/05/2010 13:51

When are you having dildocam, spiky?

Scorpette · 09/05/2010 14:00

Wed. 19th, Humpy.

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Muser · 09/05/2010 14:32

Poor horny Scorps. But 9 days! You're nearly there. Weirdly in 9 days I get to shag without a condom. Woot! Not that it will result in any baybees until next cycle, but ditching the rubber is a lovely thought.

Headbanger · 09/05/2010 14:36

funny

Some of the questions, also, are funny.

Anyone else fucking sick of BBC News 24 and yet unable to stop watching?

Am too hungover to type much (that answers an earlier question about what folk have given up when TTC) but have read all and deliver tender pinches to the upper arm all round.

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