30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Thank you Humpy, that makes sense. I guess clomid might help to shift the eggs out? Yes, referral just to gynae at local hospital - should I be asking to go somewhere more specialised (although not sure whether there is anywhere in particular in Manchester)?

Wouldn't have thought you need anyone more specialised at this point. Poor you, though, you must be thoroughly sick of the sight of hospitals.

I forgot to take TNB to our first appointment (it wasn't specified in the referral letter that I was supposed to turn up with my partner). The consultant took a history (when did you first have a period? How long is your cycle? etc etc) and referred me for a bunch of tests: bloods/ultrasound/hsg. Is just the first stage - nothing to worry about.

Try not to drop your keks, though, they probably don't need you to get your rat out that early...

Good tip, I will try not to get me rat out then

I did see same gynae last summer, before we started trying, because of having PCOS - so she took all of the history then and told us to go away and give it a go. I know no-one wants to start down the road of investigations and drugs that might not be necessary, but what a waste of 8 months that turned out to be.

I guess she will arrange ultrasound/HSG this time, but it drives me mad that I've waited 3 months for an appointment at which she will book me in for tests for which I will probably have to wait another 3 months. 6 wasted eggs in the meantime is no joke

HO isn't coming with me as can't easily get time off work - does it matter? He accompanied me last time and then had a SA - morphology was borderline so I know he needs to do it again - can't she just give me a cup for him to wank into?!

And, erm, sorry for the mememe

Oh, lyra We need to do the fucking NHS dance again, don't we?

Yep, and they haven't even done anything wrong yet!! I'm just getting stressed in preparation. Do you think I should tell HO he really needs to come with? It seems such a minor thing for his school to have to arrange teaching cover for.

Lyra that all sounds so ridiculously frustrating. Dealings with the medical folks never seem to run smoothly or particularly efficiently with the BESHes. Worrying methinks.

What, pliz to tell, is the NHS dance as I too have an appointment with Gynae folk this month? Was hoping to have to call and say 'soz, can't make it as am mucho preggo with triplets...' but, alas, droid has literally just arrived in the Decaff camp. I am stoopidly upset this month (and so is DH as i idiotically got his hopes up too - just makes it so much arsing worse). Really need to sort my head out.

Aries you have a will of steel m'love! I am going to adopt that attitude in future months .

Lyra, I don't have much experience in the kecks dropping, but would probably refrain unless strictly necessary. Good luck, hun dear BESH (as have previously stated, in my opinion anyone using the word "hun" needs euthanizing. AIBU?)

Decaff, not a will of steel. Just not. Just don't want to see a -ive. Would rather droid tiptoed up. But that's just me.

I can understand that Aries. The POAS early thing is just avoidable (and expensive) torture really.

And, YANBU.

I have a quezzie too: it's been 8 months now, and that's 8 months of proper ov testing and shagging at least every other day and often every day during the appointed time (with miltary precision). I'm 32 but we've managed it once before.

Is it time to go GP-ward, do you think? I don't know what the rules are.....

Still no sign of droid. A little bit of yellow pantsnot,only a little bit. Bit into a baguette at lunchtime and my gums POURED forth with blood in a way they have only done before... when? oh yes, when I were diffed. So of course you get your hopes up, when in reality I probably just need to floss more...

I think I have managed, all told, prob an hour of Not Menkulling since waking up at 7 this morning.

In between clients so have just inhaled some chocolate and tea to help those happy hormones delude me through the afternoon.

Aries when would you normally expect the droidal one?

Chittychitty I'm liking the new legal plan

Decaff get thee to the chocolate station now, have just dispatched you one thousand Twirls to get you through the afternoon. So sorry.

Num num num num on the Twirls front! One of my V favourite chocco bars you clever BESH you.

When did you last POAS CasseRollos? My friend in RL didn't get a +ve until 2 weeks after droid was due. How overdue are ya?

Congrats grumpy

(I'm grumpy because I'm not updiffed & now I have to eat fecking grapefruit to help. Tis the work of the devil & vile).

Grapefruit? Wtf? Are you listening to the crazy people helpful ladies that say that grapefuit juice makes more CM? Would have thought that eating something you hate probably makes you less likely to want to bonk.

CassetteTape I am officially a Big Liar and therefore might have been a burden on the NHS - you're supposed to wait to see your GP until you have been trying for a year if you're under 35. I pretended we'd been trying for a year when in reality it had been 10 months. As it turns out, that was quite a good call.

Having said that, the fact you have a child possibly means that they'll tell you to go away and try harder. Haz you been doing the every-other-day-throughout-the-month bonkage? Apparently is best for chances, rather than relying on pee sticks and temping.

Decaff The fucking NHS dance is a bit like this.

Cass, the "rules" say that if you are under 35, and have no known fertility ishoos, your GP will offer to test you/refer you on after 12 months of trying. As you already have your little girl I assume no known ishoos.

But if you're concerned (I think menkulling counts!) then I would say no harm in visiting your GP sooner - they may refer you on for assessment, in which case you're already "in the system" if you do hit the 12 month mark, or they may just reassure you and tell you to come back in a few months - in which case at least it's already marked in your notes as a concern.

sympathies with the grapefruit, it is indeed vile. Can it be followed by chocolate to take the taste away?

Laurie i haz never been in the pit. Think I'll slither down with you this month.

I will bring my huge quantities of Twirls a la Casserole and also my tendency to aggression and violence when things aren't going my way (like now). Also bags and bags and bags of sugar (and a crucifix) to combat the evil-making grapefruit

Well hello...

X-post, Humpyone

Grapefruit - quite nice. Chocolate - very nice. Chocolate after grapefruit - wrong wrong wrong bleurgh.

I haven't been doing anything right, apart from taking FA - no grapefruit, no cough medicine, too much booze, and not enough SWI (only every other day from 9-18, at the VERY most). Tis all my own fault I'm not getting anywhere.

Perfect that is farking hilarious! Oddly, reminds me of me after too much vino. Colour included.

Pardon my ignorance (there is a lot to pardon) but do we do this to summon some NHS God or to improve our chances of having the medical types do what they're supposed to??

Yes, Lyra, you are a very naughty girl. I have been on the wagon (mostly - occasional lapses for BESH boozes), eating only organic food, having acupuncture and taking any herbal supplement that stays still long enough to go into my mouth (as well as the sweet FA, natch) and look how pregnant I am...oh. Oh, dear. Whoops.

Lyra both my 'successful' months of getting diffed involved 1 episode of SWI and lots of drinking, banned foods and lifting Heavy Objects as well as forgetting to take FA quite a lot.

SWI every second day is just too much like hard work for me - i honestly don't think i could manage that. Do you all do that? My poor, poor husband obviously has a frigid and lazy ass wife.

I am rubbish at SWI as well. We do it a couple of times in a hopeful fashion. I do think it's more luck than judgment. Which is fucking unfair and why don't we all have baybees yet?

Decaff - when I said "every other day from 9-18, at the VERY most", I prolly should have said "we SWId every other day from 9-18 ONCE, but usually only manage it 2 or 3 times around the middle of my ludicrously irregular cycle". So am similarly lazy/frigid.

But yes, some BESHes do manage to do it every other day, or even every day. I'm not sure whether that is ov-focused though: the guidelines say you should do it every second day right through your cycle - imagine that. They do say that the most common cause of subfertility is not shagging enough...or putting it in wrong orifice.

Extreme used to do it several times per day which made her and her H very tired and sad, not recommended

Hmmm, if chocolate's no good for taking away the taste of grapefruit what is? Just in case I ever feel I ought to be eating the evil things....

We've been managing SWI every other day (ish) for the middle bit of each cycle, but this is cycle number 5 and I'm not sure how long it'll last. If I trusted my body to tell me when I'm ovulating it would help. Certainly wouldn't manage SWI every day through the whole cycle .

If SWI was as easy as popping an FA tablet, I could manage it every day. Perhaps I could invent a shag-tab, thus: man wanks into pot, Lyra employs her patented spunk-pessary creation technique (details a little fuzzy at the moment, will fill that in later), pessaries stay fresh for up to 30 days, BESH inserts pessary each morning, and out pops a baybee: no tiresome shagging required.

Anyone want to finance my R&D costs?

I meant every other day, every day would be even more