30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

I'm sure you can show up as a couple; what are they going to do about it?! I went in a couple of times with DS1 for stuff about breastfeeding when I wasn't sure if the problem was him or me...

I'd say then go in yourself next week, get as much detail as you can, if they won't give it you get CH to ring up and ask for it then talk to nice GP on 27th about it all - including referral to urology if appropriate.

It's now raining here. I don't care, the meat is going on the BBQ in an hour!!!

We are heading back home after a lovely weekend. My bank holiday Monday will be quiet due to massive overindulgence the rest of the weekend.

Definitely ask for results in writing Fairy. They'll do that for you and it'll be good to have on hand.

Ah, Casserole. Interestingly like me. Cannot summon the courage to POAS in case it's negative. You know the compulsive pissers on sticks? I am a compulsive non-pisser.

Day 29 in the Aries house. Aries has interesting nauseous sensations. But at the same time those regular and tell-tale stabs of rage at the most insignificant things. I actually had to go and sleep in the spare room last night because DH's breathing was annoying me so much . I am thinking nothing. Nothing at all. Until three more days down the line.

Snogs to you Tinkerbell (Fairy...Tinkerbell...get it? Might call you Wendy or Michael next time). Glad some others turned up your thread who knew more than me.

Gah, you two and your self control, it's spoiling the fun for the rest of us!

OK so in reality I'm just jealous as I suspect to pee or not to pee isn't a question I'm going to face in the near future. Temp dropped this morning despite only being 6DPO (if ff is to be believed and I'm not entirely convinced) so although I'm still analysing the soreness of my boobs and wondering why I'm feeling so knackered (oh, and having really weird dreams) it's in vain hope rather than expectation.

So, what's everyone else up to this bank holiday? I've thus far managed to combine working with a trip to Tesco, then promptly forgot I'd been shopping and left everything in the car for an hour. Fortunately there wasn't that much frozen stuff but still.....

Due to the lack of POAS action I am baking a chocolate cake. What else can you do on a bank holiday?

mmmmm, chocolate cake

Maybe I shall share it. Although it is MrM's belated birthday cake.

We had a very lovely weekend away, with much boozing. We also got to have a little heart to heart in the pub on the Friday night. Where I got to do my "it's so fucking unfair" bit and he got to as well. I am firmly in the angry mode again about all the crapness. And seeing so many lovely folk here go through crapness makes me even more angry. It's just so unfair!

Then we drank lots more wine until it all went away. And David Walliams was in our hotel on Saturday night for an art show.

Well, I had my BBQ, despite the rain and HAIL! We ate indoors but the food was lovely. Went out for a nice walk along the canal by our house in the afternoon as sun came out; then had to shelter under a bridge during another hailstorm.

No sign of droid. A bit of backache. Very little in the pantsnot arena to bore you with today. Who can say. If nothing will POAS in the morning.

Me want chocolate cake.

Hail? Bloody hell! Has been beautiful here all day . Apart from the screaming northerly gale that is. What shall I have for tea? I'm a shit cook and don't feel at all like food at the moment.

Sossidges. I am having sossidges for tea. And cake.

hola chiquitas, here is my questionnaire - I hope it's everything you hoped it would be

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   I?m a sucker for G&T?s, the husband won my heart with his way with Tanqueray.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   A proper cougar ? snatched my man up at the age of 19, I was 24, it was hot. Sort of.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   Haha, according to some people you do some strange kind of ritual called a baby dance (like a rain dance per chance?) and then sprinkle yourself with babydust and hope for the best. Or else you kidnap a stork. And sacrifice it at the alter of the god of baybee giving.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   a for sure. What the fuck is babydust ? ground up babies? Sounds gross.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   or c) C3PO?s bitch.

6. what colour are your walls?
   Generic neutral mud coloured

7. Number of pets?
   Just the mould in the veg drawer- I?m pretty sure it?s alive.

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Jon Snow- clever and funny socks, winning combo. Billy Joel ? please don?t ask me why.

9. Lesbian crush?
   That chick off Total Wipeout ? H.O.T. hot ? and a bit mean ? perfect.

10. What are your views on camping?
    Only with lots and lots of booze. And sedatives. And a hotel. Or if SH forces me (shudders)

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing stick

Much too much, much too young. Still not had a positive OPK ? think I got ripped off. Stoopid internet crap. Resisting buying more - not sure how long I can hold out...

I'm sure there was another question somewhere. Are you a) ginger and b) anal about punctuation? I would add spelling too but for the gentile incident last night.

Muse that sounds very healthy and delicious. I think I'll have the same.

I like the newb Georgecarey

I second the proposal for sausages. Had em at lunch in my Xtreme BBQ (TM) and now contemplating leftover ones in a toastie with more mozarella. Oh yes indeedy.

OK, so I thought I might have been ostracised following my unwise admission about Neil Kinnock , but I'm going to give this one last go. Following POAS action yesterday, I am apparently now updiffed (if that is the right terminology), so am I allowed to stay in here? Or do I get kicked out to somewhere more twee? I may not be a BESH any more, but I'm still an ESH...

You're diffed???????????????????????????! You dark, dark horse. Congratulations!

is that the shortest move from questionnaire to diffment evah? You belong in the Deli over on ante-natal grumps. Look for the PESH.

And congratulations.

I think this calls for more POAS action tomorrow. Aren't these meant to come in threes?

Yay Eeyore, congratulations! That was definitely fast BESHwork. So who's POASing next? Aries and Cass? - could make the three.... (not forgetting Polly, just conveniently ignoring her temporarily to try and get as many diffments as poss. Because of course that's how it works).

Oh and I had sausages for tea too.

Thank you all . Hope my shockingly fast diffment rubs off on all of you. Personally, I'm feeling a bit grumpy about it all, as had hoped to stay here a bit longer, not to mention all the lost opportunities to swill gin like the crazed harridan that I am.

Ocarina: hope the sausages have some sort of symbolically phallic effect

How odd. As it turned out, I too had sausages.

Well, I had pasta. And icecream. But could do with sausages and chocolate cake now. Wasn't there a newbie in here I could get to fetch me some o' those? Welcome whoareyou. Come down here with that grub and we can both play with Mitchell. And don't you come in here teasing us just to go and get updiffed like that grumpy one o'er there.

Congrats grumpy, ne'er even mechoo. They come, they go and we stay heartbroken.

Forgivez, had a bit of wine. Seriosuly: great news! I hear of an infamous PESH thread somewhere but I really don't think I should be checking it out anytime soon. Any symptoms yet?

Very tired - feel as if I've been hit with a sledgehammer. Also, I don't know if this is what people mean by 'sore boobs', but my nips are on fire. The lad made a grab for them a couple of days ago and I leapt four feet in the air, squealing girlishly - a bit like Babs Windsor being surprised by Sid James in a Carry On film. Nothing apart from that, though - sorry! And so far, I've been Doing It All Wrong. I've drunk beer, eaten lots of oily fish (at an eel festival...) and been for a 10-mile bike ride (specifically prohibited by the NHS because the naughty ickle woman might suddenly lose all physical coordination and fall off her nasty bikey-wikey). So I'd like to think I'm keeping up BESH standards even while diffed...

morning BESHs, Hope all had a good Bank Hol. Just been catching up on the thread. Welcome newbies and congrats grumpy. Please come over to the PESH deli - it's the right place if you want to chat firey nipples and other post diffment bodily shiz. Such funz. Just be prepared for a lot of talk about shit. (literally).

Hags, I hope you do get another run of success and not just by newbs (no offence newbs, but I'm sure you know what I mean). Sounds like there's a phallic shaped meat munching theme going on here. Maybe there's something in it...

Morning all.

Day 32 in the droidwatch house

Well, no droid, no baybee, apparently. POAS this morning and nothing. But no sign of droid, either. Presumably by now (3 days late) even pissing on a normal stick off a tree would have detected something so I guess I can assume have not won this month and have instead just stumped upon some sort of mutant cycle sent to confuse me (easily done). Just want droid now so know where I am. Roll on attempt No.9 I guess.

Well done all on the sausages.

ps link to PESH deli for Grumps, best of luck