30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Help. I'm SO glum and depressed today. For no real reason apart from work stress and uncertainty about the future and that sort of crap. Am also suddenly convinced that I'll never have a baybee, and even if I do, I won't deserve one because I'll be so rubbish. The thought of even summoning the will to smile makes me feel even glummer. Crack open the anti depressants someone. Can you get them in Tesco's?

try slugging down some of this here gin starsigngirl. Sorry about the glums.

Can I add my voice to both the calls for ginhag to let us know she's ok, and for a Midlands BESHfest.(If I'm allowed...)

Is anyone else crazy enough to be out driving in the Bank Holiday traffic hell? Thank the wee man for my laptop and dongle

Hello lyra Hope your dad is improving
And sorry laurie. That is truly wank

Hello ladeez, just back from a few days in thatLondon. I'm sorry to hear Lorry has been beeped. Can anyone update me on thread activities for the last few days?

Yo yo fuckin' yo.

Am here,in a generally alive sort of state. Sorry for causing any concern,have been ok but just not able to think about ttc without getting all properly mental with tears and snot and such.

Far too much to catch up on but thanks all you lovelies for,well,being...lovely...

lorry that is a cunting pile of arsewank.

muse I think you can have a proper gin-the-fishwife styleeee swearaliffic yell at the unfairness of the pissbollocks droid.

cam I have been thinking of you and am sorry it's all dragging on.

ead I have no idea if you should retrain,or keep training at what you is doing or what. Mostly because everyone round here is so bastard secretive about their real lives. Well,except me and...well,just me really.

Lyra have also been thinking about you and your family A Lot. Smooches to ya.

scorps c'mere and have a nice mud wrestle. It's been a while.

And Every Other Wonderful BESH... Have a pint of wine on me.

Lately I have mostly been trying to write children's stories. Anyone with 'connections' in the land of books n shiz feel free to hook me up. Tho nowt is finished. And you can all take this as proof that even those of us with 'proper' and sort of successful careers (even if found by accident) are still often not actually doing the magical and elusive thing that is the one true thing that will make us super happy and fulfilled for like evaaah.....

Fuck me I'm gonna have to lie down now.

Oh oh oh and YES to beshfest #2. I want all the bands I said last time,plus the xx and toots and the maytals.

Aries that fing wot you just wrote sounds a lot like me. Old skool beshes have heard me say bout not deserving the lovely small one due to my rubbishness on many occasions.

However for some reason he seems to think I'm great. And oh bloody hell I nearly made myself cry typing that

am double hard bastard innit

I dunno,I come back and you all sod off somewhere....

I'm here!

I'm here now! You deserve your gorgeous small because you are fabulous. Fab-u-lous, do you hear me? And I bet your kids' books will be fab too - you are v creative and thoughtful, so it sounds a winner to me. What about your company doing the pics? I'd like to see the adventures of the weemees!

Medee, whaa g'waaan with you? Care to be the filling in a Scorpy-Gin sarnie?

I'm popping in sneakily. Am in Brighton in v nice hotel. Have drunk champagne and eaten fish n chips, dead classy. First hotel I've been in that has vibrators in the mini bar. Now off to find more booze. Chinese burns to all.

Also. Am the Queen of Menkul. Period v late so am worried an diffed. Even though we had sex once last month and used a condom. Menkul! This is what being diffed twice without ever missing the droid does to you.

vibrators in a mini-bar? But how do you know they are clean?

Muser - That must we so aaaargh-making and confusing. Only advice is to try and ignore and enjoy Brighton and see what's occurin' upon your return I can't begin to imagine the headfuck of it all

Medee, I was also thinking that. But my tightfisted eye for a freebie won!

(Can you have a tightfisted eye? Well, tough!)

I managed not to think much about TTCing while away, as the hotel room was too hot to be worth taking my temp and had left the CBFM at home (wrong time of month anyway) so apart from occasional cute kids, especially the ones paddling in the water at the V+A, I was not menkul at all.

Vibrators come sealed in a packet...sometimes in an 'intimacy kit' (fnaar) so all brand spanking new.

muse I would try n just go 'fukkit' and do booze n shagging.

scorps thanks. Heart ya

And I know it didn't occur to you once to steal one

That was to Meds about the kiddiwinks, not you about the vibrators, gin! And you're welcome, my little pocket rocket

'Intimacy kit', eh? Eeeeeh, them there Southerners know how to live. It's another world.

Actually the 'intimacy kit' I came across (FNAAAR!) most recently (when in That London at upit'sownarsenicehotel) contained...2 fancy condoms, some lube and some antiseptic wipes. For a tenner. How classy. Who said romance is dead?

I'm trying to work out whether the hotels you lot stay in are more exciting or more worrying than any I've ever been in!

Congratulations on the lack of menkul M'dear, what's the secret?

Just seen another birth announcement on FB, and while I'm delighted for them, I'm wondering why someone needed to comment about them now having 'a full set' - 1+2 were girls, this is a boy (and they chose not to know before the birth). What would they have been saying if no. 3 had been a girl too?

just being away from home, and not having the tools to menkul. There were no vibrators in the minibar in my hotel though.

Gin! You're back! I missed you!

I haz had many booze with the super-amaze Cho and her very beautiful jacket. Cheered me up enormously.

Glad you two had a fab time, Perfick. Did you find each other by throwing the traditional BESH hand symbols? I wish there were pics for me to nose at

Vibrators are indeed shrink wrapped. Also v expensive for what looks like a rubbish kind.

I also meant to say droid is LIGHT not LATE. It is very much on time, just a bit pathetic. Stoopid iPhone makes typing hard

Are you sure it's not the typing one-handed that's affecting things?