Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[rowingboat]

Hello world!

so this is where I am at..

No period yet, was bfn yesterday, have held off today, didn't really see the point as neg but a normal 26 day cycle would give me tomorrow, yesterday would have been the 24 of the last 2 cycles. (keep up ladies. )

Today have had some shoulder tip pain, has only happened twice but am now worried about ectopic, (and have started a thread but noone wants to talk to me, ) Do you always get a pos with an ectopic, have some left sided aches too but this is fairly normal.

have only got cheapies left now but am veering from thinking it's about to arrive and feeling bit icky and thinking i'm preg.

aagghh, we'll see I guess. Could have been late implantation or could be a long cycle, As an old fogey, I guess my body could start playing silly buggers.

Will keep you informed.

jolls any news?

lunatic what's happeneing to us???

Thanks for the offer for Caz, if she comes back, I will tell her the support is there. It' a horrible horrible time that noone should ever have to go through. I'm very sorry about your dd, I'm guessing it's still painful for you too, coming up to a year. You also know where we are if you need to chat. My email is lctwalters at sky dot com. We lost my beautiful great niece born sleeping at 31 wks,

So where are you in this cycle? (sorry about abrubt change, never quite know how to end those conversations. Never will I don't think.

lia - shoulder tip pain does not happen until tube is bursting and is after 5 weeks at the earliest, so I suspect that you are fine. But I am please it is sounding hopeful for you this month in terms of possible preggo.

hippy - far too early to be talking blighted ovum, I think it is time for you to visit the misdiagnosed m/c website !! Helps me to find hope when I need it after horrible scans.

I'm afraid I haven't been on this thread for ages (thank you to the two people who asked after me).

I am 45 now and slowly trying to come to terms with the fact it isn't going to happen I don't think.

Saw a fertility specialist this week who prescribed Clomifine (sp?) - not because I am not ovulating, but to ripen and flush out any eggs going.

Period arrived this evening though so another month has gone .

Good luck to everyone else - I hope there is lots of success this month.

PS: anyone else been successful with Clomifine (is that the same as Clomid?) at my age?

This is a really quick post. Sorry, it is late....

Hippy Thinking of you, hope it will be OK.

AlbaDeTamble how are things going?

Gum any news?

Rowing good to hear from you.

jollster intrigued to hear how DP got you so wound up, I thought mine had cornered the market in that one!

liahgen66, rainbowdays, LunaticFringe, Diege, and thefatladyscreams, thinking of you all.

I am mostly lurching from being OK to a mess these days! I started evening primrose oil tablets and Agnus Castus to help with my moods. They really are related to my hormones!

Things are OK although my DH is TERRIBLE about talking about anything. So I have to be the one to bring it up. And often there is a reason he can't talk - driving, eating, breathing - any old excuse! I am finally feeling better about the whole idea of adoption.

Started telling DD today about maybe having a child and not a baby. She went and got her old toys and started saying how she would help and even showed me how she would use her Walkman quietly so as not to wake the child up, she said she would put it on a quiet setting for them, and showed me how to work the volume - she was so cute. She almost always calls 'it' (the baby/child) 'she' and that is cute as DH and I both have a preference for another girl.

Thinking of you all.

Prayers that we will all come through these very tough times.

Love to all ..... and ? as we say on the assisted conception thread - chocolate boobs to all

Hippy so sorry to read that the scan was less than reassuring. I have everything crossed for you that it's simply too early.

Just a quick update from me : GP has given me antibiotics as he said the continued bleeding (30 days now) could be due to mild infection. Felt so glad he took me seriously, the 'specialists' at the epu haven't batted an eyelid and have just noted down that I am still bleeding like mad!

Morning . Cd 3 here too Lunatic so cycle buddies (have a 26 day cycle). I have to say SWI is very far from my mind at present, but think I'll just get away with it before I'm away with work for a couple of days. You're right that af seems far easier when you're gearing yourself up for a bfn anyway.
Italian, your dd sounds very sweet That must be hard about getting your dh to talk - hard enough when they are receptive to it! Oh and totally unrelated, but on gender preference just be careful what you say to the social worker when applying. I work with a social work team and it's a big no-no (my sister nearly wasn't accepted due to saying they'd prefer a boy). I'm sure you wouldn't have dreamt of saying anything, but just thought I'd prewarn in case it slipped out Hope I haven;t offended you if I've said anything inappriate/tactless.
Lia good luck,and Jollster too; any news?
Rainbow How are things?
Hi Pink don't think we've 'met' (I'm a relative newbie) but wanted to say hi, and hope others might be more help with clomifine question).

hello all. hippy sorry your scan wasn't conclusive. I know the waiting is horrible.

liah I never tested positive until my period was a few days late - have you tested again yet?

I looked on the August thread - such sad news. I keep that thread hidden (was on it under a different name), there did seem to be a lot of sad news on there, I'm not sure if that is the case, or just because I was on there.

Any news jolls and gum? lunatic and liah my cycles which used to be 27-8 days have been all over the place recently - sometimes only 22 days and sometimes 31 days. makes symptom spotting all the more traumatic really.
Hello pinkpanettone, sorry no experience on clomid, but lots of luck to you.
hairy I had lotads of bleeding too afer my mc, the EPU were rubbish. I went and had acupuncture and whether it was coincidence I don't know, but my bleeding stopped and went back to more normal levels (and my ying and yang were balanced too )

As for me (and I'm sure I'm tempting fate by writing this), my pre-af spotting didnt develop into a full blown period. This has happened to me before in te last couple of months, and then af has turned up on day 31, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up, and have only googled implanation bleeding once! Temp did drop too, for one day, and then came back up again. V strange. But am not testing (honest).

pollyanna and liah have all crossed for you... keep us posted.

Italian really good to hear from you.

Here in the Jollster house, it's CD27 and day 3 of very light spotting, which had been confusing me. Then I had a bit of a lightbulb moment and googled (dangerous I know). I have been using progesterone cream this cycle.... (just in case it contributed to my MMCs previously, and though my day21 was ok and in normal range it could have been higher)... it seems prog cream can delay your period (with totally makes sense as one of its main uses is to prevent early MC, as in delay RTD whilst implantation has a chance to "take").

So my new strategy is wait til Tuesday if still spotting and POAS. If BFN (which I highly suspect) stop cream and await the joy of RTD... Arsicles. If BFP (about as much chance as me kissing the pontiff) so begins the next stage of anxiety and obsession .

Am now pessimistic that I have got pg this cycle which means there is no chance I will give birth to another child before my 43rd birthday. It's all starting to feel a bit shit frankly!

Hope everyone ok x

Jollster Now filled with an image of you kissing the pontiff! I do hope that that comes about, if you see what I mean!

Hairy so sorry to hear you are still bleeding. I really hope it will be sorted out soon. Have they scanned you again to see if they can see any reason? I am sorry if I have missed all the ins and outs of the situation. I am sure you have been scanned a lot but I just wanted to ask. All the best to you and may this difficult situation be sorted out very soon. When I had my missed miscarriage over 4 years ago, when I did not realise I was pregnant, I bled for weeks and my GP thought it was because I had given up breast feeding! It was old brown blood, just a bit, and it was not until I had a scan they found out why. Then afterwards they delayed scanning me for a couple of days, so were not aware it had not all been sorted (it had not all come away). So for a few days I was not sure what was happening but yours has been a month so it must be incredibly frustrating they are not making some headway in sorting it out. Do you need to compensate for your loss of iron by taking some supplements and drinking more? I am sure you have thought of all this but I do hope your doc will start to take it more seriously.

Hippy Thinking of you.

pinkpanettone all the best on Clomed. I was on it for 6 months but no luck but my friend got pregnant at almost 40 after she took it for 6 months, I think.

Pollyanna Hope it will be good news.

Thanks Diege interesting point about the gender preference. To be honest, we have mentioned that we have a preference for a girl as we feel it would fit into our family better but we have said we are open to a boy or girl. In our area they seem to be quite open to us expressing our preferences. I think the fact we already have a child makes it a bit easier because we are trying to see who would fit into our family best - not just for us on our own but for the sake of the child too. If you see what I mean, if the family doesn't fit together then the adoption might not work and that would not be good for any of us at all including the child mostly. I think we just feel that as there will a big age between the children it would make bonding easier if they were both girls. But we do want to be open to whatever is right and we will take advice. It is only feeling, not a definite choice and it is to do with our family make-up and not thinking girls are better than boys of anything like that. I think we will take your advice and not make a big thing of it. If we had had a child naturally it could have been a boy or girl or twins and we would have been over the moon so please don't think we have anything against boys.

Had a chat to DH today. I was in the bath so DH sat on the loo (on it not using it!) and I had my back to him (because of the hot tap being near my feet rather than at my back). It was good as I could say what was on my heart and DH got to look at my fabulous body! Lucky that NONE of you know what I look like or you would be laughing right now! Tee hee! I just told DH I needed him to be really behind the adoption thing with me as I did not want to be the driving force as I usually am!

Just finished watching 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' with Keanu Reeves, just glad the world is not being destroyed by some sort of nanobot fly!

Enough of me, I feel very relaxed now.

Hope you are all enjoying the weekend.

Hi everyone.
So sad to read about Caz on the August thread. How heartbreaking.
One of my dear close friends lost her little girl at 40 weeks. She has since had another little girl. The pregnancy was very difficult emotionally, but her perfect little girl made it worthwhile.

Jollster it is a bit crap, waiting to get pregnant and at our age it feels like another month passing is another month closer to losing our dream, but try not to worry.Women our age do get pregnant, usually it is just a matter of time if everything else is okay.I hope this cycle is the one for you!

I had a similar experience using prog cream.At the time I hadn't had a post partum period, but had a temp rise, so thought I'd ovulated, hence using the cream, only to have a tonne of symptoms and then a false positive on a blue dye test (stay away from those little buggers), and basically the prog cream just made things drag out. I never got a period, and ended up having a blood test to rule out pregnancy.
How long is your cycle usually? I would have thought at cd27 you might get a + preg test? Or is it too early for you?

Nothing much to report here. I think I'm about 4 dpo and am not going to symptom spot this time!"I must not symptom spot, I must not symptom spot..." Not holding out too much hope,thanks to lousy SWI timing, but of course googled how long sperm live and it isn't unheard of to get pregnant when the sperm have survived for 3 - 4 days. So, not a total wash-out. However, I am not a young fertile thing anymore, so unlikely.My first pregnancy, the sperm must have hung around for ages, or I ovulated early(in those days I had no idea) because the only time we'd had sex that month was just after my period had stopped, about day 7, and I wound up preggers. When the Dr told me that's why I'd been feeling unwell, I refused to believe him! I had a hard time coming to terms with that as I wasn't ttc.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on...

Lia, did you test again??

Hi guys. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news on Father's day but i wanted to let you all know.

I've been bleeding and cramping since yesterday, it looks like I'm having an MC.

I'm disappointed but not really surprised - I think I've been preparing myself for this for the last week.

I'm just wondering now if perhaps my eggs are just no good now. Is there a test I can have? I have never even had my FSH levels checked at 3 days and I have googled about and found that a very high FSH can mean love quantity or poor quality reserves.

I have an appointment for tomorrow morning to see my GP and will discuss with her.(I made the appointment last week cos I just had a feeling this was gonna happen).

I still have my lovely DH and my boys and I honest don't feel too bad - just sad and maybe a little scared about how much more bleeding and pain there s gonna be.

Thanks to you all of you for your positivity and care.
xx

hippy - sorry that you are going through this. I hope the pain and bleeding don't get too bad for you. FSH levels are something that can be checked but don't really mean alot, I have seen people with high levels get pregnant and have a healthy baby, whilst those with low levels have problems. It is one of those tests that can bring more discouragement than help and there is nothing that can be done supposedly to alter the levels anyway (although some peoples seem to fluctuate). But anyway, I hope that you get the support you need from your gp tomorrow, and that today your boys look after you.

Hippy, I'm so, so sorry. Big unMN hug. I'm sure it must be awful to go through again

hippy am so sorry - you sound very brave and strong about it (if what you suspect is true). Thinking of you and can only echo the thoughts on the egg thing. Obviously it's tougher at our age to catch that good one. But it CAN be done. BUT it's also totally understandable to say "that's it, am not putting myself and family through this".

Whatever you decide, you'll know we are here to listen. Big squeeze from Brighton x

Oh Bollox hippy I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope you have lots of rl support.

I got results of my fsh yesterday and it is 23.4 so really high and indicates reduced ovarian reserves. Am completely gutted, I feel sick and panicked. Have to see gp to discuss but no ivf would touch you with levels that high as they say there's no chance of sucess, 12/14 is cut off point.

I know reduced levels are not totally gone but the chances of getting pregnant now are so low, I think i'm gonna take a break from Mn and see if I can work out how to come to terms with it and move on with my life. My mind is all over the place, I want another child so much, It never really occured to me that my choice would be taken away, just thought it would take a bit longer.

Period arrived bang on time for 26 days yesterday so obviously periods are becoming irratic too, all signs of perimenopause.

On the plus side, Have been at dance show rehearsals all day today with 3 of my dc, dd 15, dd 5 and ds 6 and this is littlest dd's first show, she was sooo cute in her pink fairy tutu and knew all her moves. My 15 yr dd has come on so much since last year when she was too afraid to go to school with bullies, watching her come out of her shell is amazing and I am so proud of her and my 6 yr ds is awesome, he's in about 7 numbers and is doing tap and ballet with the seniors, he's so little but so focused.

How sit going jolls ?

sorry jolls i missed you r post somehow.

Thanks guys (you are my favorite thread - but don't tell the others).

I am defo beyond reasurrance - i am pretty sure this could not end well. At the moment it's been like a heavy period (no clots or anything unbearable). Paracetamol and hot water bottle has seen me through but I do get bad period pains due to the endo so i am used to it. I guess I'm just scared that I'm thinking I can deal with it but actually the worst hasn't started yet - IYSWIM.

I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time and see. It was only a very small sac so maybe it wont be too bad (hopeful face).

I think I'll get my FSH levels checked and if they are very high I will call it a day.

I know some people are strong enough to go through this multiple times (like our own dear rainbow - who is incredible). But I'm not sure that's for me.

I haven't even had a good old cry yet cos 1) the boys don't know and 2) I just feel numb and disappointed.

Sorry, I'll sod off now and leave you alone - perhaps I'll make DH's life a misery instead .

Not really - he's been fab and I know he's disappointed too but he just keeps saying, "I wish i could take the hurt away from your pretty face!"

Did I mention he's short sighted too.

Liah am sorry to read your post.

MN has been enlightening to me in that before I would not have understood that need in someone already a mother of 5 to have another. I would have thought she had her hands full, she's already been blessed etc etc.

I now understand that however many children you have if YOU feel your family is not complete, then it's a desire that aches.

I really wanted 3. Now I'd be delighted with 2. But if it's not meant to be and I only have my gorgeous boy, then that's what I will have to deal.

Don't know what I'm saying really. Just that what you describe about your day sounds like a great family day that so many would envy. I know you'll find comfort in what you have, even when the ache for another is still there.

Does your job make it easier or harder?

Sorry lia crossed posts with you again - we always seem to do that.

So sorry to hear about your FSH levels. I'm glad to see that you are truelly enjoying the DC's you have.

I've been thinking about that alot today and thinking if it turns out that my FSH levels are high I will probably stop too.

God, it's all so crap isn't it matey.

I want to enjoy my boys to the full and not be pre-occupied with all this other stuff.

I hope you get a chance to really think about it. Please stay in touch on this thread though. I do feel that we all have a friendship (albeit a virtual one) and there is more that links us than just the TTC bit.

Let us know how you're doing.

hippy big hugs for you. I just feel empty and sad, I expect you feel the same way. Maybe Mother nature is calling time, I'm not ready yet.

You need to cry, It's ll I do at the moment, not in front of anyone, noone in rl knows how this affects me at all, not even dh really. P;lease feel free to moan as much as you like o n here, thats what friends are for eh? (((()))

Did I mention that I hate Mother Nature btw.