Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[rowingboat]

Hello world!

Rowing, best of luck for the scan tomorrow. Hope you're feeling a bit perkier soon.

Hippy, what news of DH's job?

Alba, are you saying that there's still the possibility that you may not be going skiing?

Frosticle, I have two half sisters who I think of as full sisters - we grew up together and are very close, and I feel incredibly blessed to have them in my life.

Italian, sending you massaging fingers for that tension headache - hope the stress lessens.

One of my main inspirations during TTC - and you all know how up and down that is and has been! - were the chillies dh and ds planted. They have been producing plump, gorgeous chillies for nearly a year now, due in part to dh's careful husbandry, pollinating the plants every few days with a cotton bud, even though the plants themselves are looking pretty much past their use-by dates. And I thought, if those chillies can bear fruit, SO CAN I! I've put a pic of my inspirational (if somewhat tatty) chillies on my profile.

Hope that doesn't make me sound too much like a fruitloop!

Just popping in to say hello. Still no news here, but at least I am having really nice dreams about being pregnant. I see this as a good sign.
Frosty, I really believe a non-biological sibling will be a sibling just the same.Your DD will love her sibling just as much. I hope whatever you decide you will have another bub.

I read this great hopeful thread on another site if you are interestedwww.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1208008.
As I am 43, I am hopeful it isn't over for me yet. My gradmother had her last baby at 43, but with DS still BF I worry I am leaving my run too late. That same old chestnut yet again: maybe I should wean him? My Dh is starting his two week break at easter so I might consider doing something about the night time feeding and waking. I dunno, as soon as I get tired I lose the will!

Hippy,that's exciting news about your DH's job interview.I imagine living on the IOW would be very romantic and sea-changey?I love the idea of living on an island, being surrounded by the sea.Lovely.

Rowing, can't wait to hear how it goes at the Drs on Tues.

Alba, will you test again? Do you know for sure when you ovulated? Apparently, if you know for sure when you Oed, 19 days post O without AF = pregnancy.

ILGH your scan sounded great.I am so happy and excited for you.

Well, the autumn weather is warm, warm, warm today, so we are heading to the beach with a friend for a picnic. Bye for now...

Hippy you can unhide things you just go into Customise. But I should not really tell you that!

Rowing all the best, yes, I don?t think kids realise how hurtful they can be and I never want to get into a standoff with them so I just demand an apology rather than waiting until they feel ready to give one (which might be never!).

Kiwi, you loveable fruit loop.

Gumblossom only you know when you are ready to wean. It might be worth seeing how much that would increase your chances. I weaned DD at just under a year and although not pregnant I don?t regret it but that was me, she was pretty ready to wean.

Just a quick post as am as usual running late...

Just to say Frosticle, I know someone with a teenager from her first husband, and after a couple of miscarriages and passing years with her second, has already had one child with donor eggs and is pg with another.

Before I knew her well enough to know all the details I remarked how physically alike (and emotionally close) her 2 children were (there is no biological link)..... there is a theory I think (is it epigenics or epigenetics?) about the impact and influence of the womb through the gestation period.

What am I saying? "Family" means different things to everyone anyway. Good luck x

Wave to all x

just a quickie for frosticle as also running late.

I am adopted and was brought up with my brother who was also adopted but from another family. We have no blood ties , but are as much brother and sister as any family I have evr met. We love each other imensely and can wind each other up like no-one else ever could, we share many characteristics and even look like our (adopted) mum if not much like each other. In all I truely believe it doesn't matter a jot about biology, your family is who you grow up with and who care for you and love you.

wave to all

Hi all,
thank you for your encouraging word everyone, you are all fab!

So it looks like the 2 cysts from last time have gone, but have been replaced by a different cyst - not the kind that can be drained. It's not a worry as far as the doctor was concerned, she would be happy to continue with the treatment and ignore the cyst.
The doctor I saw today is a bit of a foot in mouth, kind of 'no beside manner' doctor.
She announced that, because of the irregular bleed, that I would HAVE to have a medicated cycle now, no point hanging around.
I did point out that we had paid for a year's storage of the embryos so couldn't we have treatment at anytime within that period. At this point she kind of coughed and the nurse piped up that of course we didn't need to rush into treatment, and that we did have plenty of time.
SO they reckoned, from the scan that AF is due this weekend, based on the thickness of the lining.
I now have the option to either start the medicated treatment next week or wait another month or two for my cycle to regulate.
So I'm having a think this weekend, but might just go for the medicated. Not sure yet.
So that's it.
We are having the most grotty weather, that lovely cold wind and rain combo.
What's it like where you guys are?

Hi ladies, just popping on to say that hubbie didn't get the job .

They gave very positive feedback and said he was right for the company but just not that particular role. We are hoping that they will remember him if something else comes up. They are paying his expenses and did seem to be genuinly considering him.

We are a bit gutted but hoping this is not the end for him and that company. At least we have a bit more time to get the house ready for sale.

And he wont have to post a sp*rm sample to me every month!!!!

Hippy hugs for everyone.

So sorry to hear that hippy - I saw you'd posted and got all excited that it was going to be good news . Have snaffled some of the wine and chocolate from the other thread for you in hopes it'll help a bit.

rowing am in awe of you (and italian and kiwi) with your assisted conception. Wishing you very best of luck whichever route you decide on next cycle. The weather grotty here, by the way -- absolutely bucketing down, lovely only for ducks...

Italian, not long now?

As for relationships between DCs, for what it's worth, my three DSC all refer to DS as their brother, plain and simple, and completely adore him (as he does them).

I'm still waiting for AF, still negative tests, tried the tempting fate bit by booking ski holiday yesterday, but to no avail. Pretty sure I'm not pg, just want my body to get on with it now so we can have a new cycle and try again (and appreciate how lucky I am to be able to say that given the processes some of you are having to go through).
We're going to the French Alps, by train as I hate waiting around in airports and long tedious coach transfers, not to mention it's better for the environment... so now I'm watching snow reports and crossing my fingers there'll still be some... gives me something else to obsess about, will forget a bit about the TTC lark for a while.

Hello all....? This is a test as this is the third time over the days since the new thread launched that I have tried to post! Not sure what I've been doing wrong. Thought maybe I'd upset someone or was barred!!

Woo- hoo! That one seemed to stay on the thread so perhaps I can try again to say alba - ((((hugs)))) and I'm glad you found your way to the wine and chocolates and a ski holiday sounds fab!!

Sorry Hippie about the job in the IOW. My first husband and I once gave up our rented flat and moved into a holiday chalet on the verge of emmigrating (expenses paid) to the States. Then a phone call at 2am changed all that and the company decided it was too hard to get him over. But it's good to have dreams and who knows where the next opportunity will take you. Well done to your dp for making such a good impression. Something good will come from that.

I'm on my first 2WW. Three tests down . Lots of cramping yesterday and then no AF...?? I'm exhausted and went for a nap this afternoon. Dreamt I was on a long coach ride to Greece then woke up when I thought my period was suddenly here. I tell ya - this ttc can drive you potty. It's only the first month and with all the statistics you'd think I'd be big enough and old enough to CALM down about it eh??

Instead I bought another pack of tests and will try again at the weekend if AF not here. I'm not always that regular, but CD1 was 1st March so something should be occuring shortly.

ooh laura, are you me? lots of cramping, no AF, lots of tests (although my first one was positive, but all the rest weren't) and CD1 was 1st March too.... haven't dreamt of coach ride to Greece though. Really thought my period was starting all day, and having been chilled about it till now I'm now starting to climb the walls...

Alba Spooky!! Yes, the waiting is agony. I keep fantasising about gin and tonic and I so want to down a big glass with ice and a slice.

Hippy pants on the job - but better for TTC . Will keep the coolbox primed though
Alba have a tippity top hols.

Hope everyone else doing ok. Feel shattered tonight, so off to bed early. Signing DS up for nursery tomorrow (just one day a week)... milestone in our family life. Had originally planned this so that I could take #2 swimming and to music class etc.... (also great for DS also of course as he's shortly to be two). But no #2 here or indeed on the way. Arsicles

Rowing sorry about the cysts, hope all will be OK soon.

Hippy Sorry about the job.

Laurasmiles you are definitely not barred! You?ve made it, you?ve posted.

I've decided to go off radar for a few days until I know what is happening. So I will keep reading but will probably not post until I can report everything to you guys.

Hippy sorry about the job. At least it means plenty of shagging and another bfp around the corner hopefully!

Can't stop for long, my DH is dishing up dinner as we speak...

Rowing I hope the cysts aren't going to be an issue. I think I may have already told you that I had one when I fell pregnant with Charlie - found out at my first scan around 9 weeks.

Gotto run...

Hi all,
how spooky, I definitely composed a post yesterday, but it isn't on here. Must have forgotten to post it. Doh!
Laura we could be the victims of a selective screening policy on MN. Our Posts are clearly far too controversial.
Italian I'm dying to hear your news. I hope it is all systems go for you now.
Gum I agree cysts aren't a biggie when you are pg. The doc wasnt' bothered, it's the type of cyst that comes and goes in one cycle.
What was dinner?
Jollster you are going to have to think of something lovely to do for yourself on a Monday now. Go back to bed?
Hippy bad luck on the job, but you never know. My DP got a job when the person first chosen took a different job.
Alba any sign of AF yet?
It's the last day of term for nursery here, yippee, lie-in tomorrow!

Hi to all.

Rowing enjoy your lie in. Glad to hear the cysts arn't going to be a problem. You must have used some dreadful swear words in your other post - it was obviously just too rude for this old girls thread. Or as you say, you forgot to click 'post message'

italian hope it's all going well for you. come back soon and give us some fab news pleeeeaasse!

alba I'm hoping it's a good sign that you have no AF. At least you have something else to obsess about for a while - always a good idea.

Jollster as jolly as ever. I guess it's a bit chilly for our beach date at the mo anyway. Hope DH gets an even better job and well be back on for a nice picnic when summer finally comes.

Thanks to all for your kind remarks about the job - I'm sure well get there - by hook or by crook.

Sorry I can't name check everyone. Thinking of you pregnant ones and hoping all is going smoothly.

I had spotting yesterday and thought it meant that my cycle was all cocked up from the MC then I read in my Toni whatsername book that it is sign of high fertility.

It's when the eostrogen drops but the progesterone hasn't taken over yet (not sure why that is a sign of high fertility!).

Anyway I'm not gonna argue with the boss - if she says it's a good sign then whoop whoop.

It's stopped now which means it hopefully was just this fertile mis-cycle spotting thing. It ties in with my CM and the + opk so I'm a Happy Hippy.

We made sure the troops were in place and kept replenishing them (yes thank you Hippy we get the idea!). So i am feeling very positive about getting a positive .

Maybe it's true about being more fertile after an MC cos I've never had that kind of spotting before. Maybe it's all in my head but it makes me feel good so bring it on!!

Love to all.

Have a large chunk of my virtual easter egg - yum no calories.

Day 1. Thought it would be a relief but actually rather depressing. However, it will mean fertile time should coincide nicely with holiday.

Still at work, which adds to my grumpiness...

Will run away quickly before I drag down the mood and just say yay hippy on textbook cycle... Thud ending post on positive note

Oops, thumb typing... Thud=thus... Though thud is a nice grumpy word, suits me well this evening...

Waves to all

Happy April Fool?s Day, OK I could not stay away but I am posting about you guys and not me!

Hippy all best wishes for your attempts.

Alba all best wishes for your attempts.

Rowing what is the latest?

Gumblossom nice to see you other half is making the dinner.

laurasmiles, Haystack and Jollster Waves and hugs and chocolate to one and all. Happy Easter.

Hi all,
Alba, good news that you finally have AF and a new start - no more hanging around. I'm sure you will be pg in no time.

Italian I knew it! YOu just couldn't keep away. I saw you peeking round the corner, pretending you were reading the paper.

I'm tiiired, but have had a lovely day of complete sloth, loafing around. It's nice and sunny outside, but brass monkeys so quite nice to look at, but that's about it.
Trying to gird my loins to go and buy bloomin' easter eggs - groan. We have a 24 hour Asda down the road, so a spot of midnight egg shopping could be on the cards.
Hoping to avoid the hoooge queue at Thorntons, but it might be a bit late by now.

Hi All, not posted for a while so this slipped off my "I'm On".

Question for gum, how is Charlie's general behaviour right now? DS3 is being a total nightmare with his tantrums - if you say no or take him away from something (eg playing in the sink because it's dinner time), he goes berserk. He has a carpet burn on his forehead and a big bump on his lip. I have a bruised wrist as he thumped me with a plastic cup. And it's not for a minute, it's for around 20 minutes and sometimes seen him do an hour. What to do? He better get over it by October!

Alba, sorry you're feeling thuddy. It'll be better in a couple of days. This is a good overview from a chinese medicine point of view here.

Hippy, sorry about IOW job but maybe next time?

Good luck laura.

Anyhoo, off to check my pork casserole. Am trying to eat well and get over this constant nausea.

Hi ILoveGregoryHouse I know your request was directed at Gum and my dd is five, maybe a bit older than your son, but my DD is a bit naughty at the moment - so maybe I know some of what you are going through? My hubby, DD's dad, is really great but not the most comunicative person and I am a talker and today, after a display of naughty table manners (from DD not DH!) she said something like "Why isn't anyone talking to me!"

So we talked to her a bit more and she was better.

I have found time out helps and I give a warning before-hand. What time out actually does is break the tension of will there be a punishment or not and she often gets upset but feels better and behaves better afterwards!

Could it be that your DS is feeling a bit pushed out because of the new baby, (unconciously on your part of course)? A friend of mine is having problems with her DS and his aggressive behaviour and I think it is important to clamp down on it, but I know people who know me would say I was not tough enough! It is much easier to advise other people and to boss around other people's kids! Today I looked after a friend's little boy who did EVERYTHING I said almost straight away (with a running comentry about his toys!).

Waves to all and enjoy your break for Easter one and all.

I've had a really happy thought! Even if this treatment does not work for me it may not be the end! Last time we had the drugs it kick started my system and my periods started again! Any friend got pregnant after using Clomed not during it. So maybe even if it does not work, I may get a boost from it to my naturally (low) fertility! Or am I deluded!

Can't seem to get my spell-check to get work, sorry if this is all gobbledygook!

to all.

There's a funfair this weekend, and ds knows that he'll be going on rides IF he's good. I am milking it to the extreme ....

Hi all,
Italian there you go, that's the way to It think! It makes sense to me, kind of like the MC effect with the raised levels of HCG.
It took a while for the IVF hormones to wear off with me the second time, AF took a few months to get back to normal so there must be a hang-over afterwards.
I'm such a gloomy old lump at the moment. Last time I did IVF I did affirmations, which I think did help my overall attitude.
This time I'm absolutely convinced this will not work, don't want to get my hopes up.
How do you stay so cheery?

ILGH you mentioned your DS being very hard work. So I thought I would write you and essay in a bid to be helpful. Sorry, bit long-winded...
I still use an approach called gentle discipline (no smacking)and have since DS was around 18 months.

If you don't know about it, the approach varies dependent on age and ability to comprehend/reason. There are lots of different techniques, but these are the main approaches I have used:

Redirection/distraction - 'I think there's a gorilla in the sitting room' by the time we got there he had forgotten what I said or I would pretend I had confused his toy bus with a gorilla.

Find the need - the idea is to try to discover the basic need which underlies the behaviour and then trying to find a more acceptable way of addressing the need. SO if the child is bashing your TV screen you find them something less valuable/breakable to bash.

Removal from situation and the chillout -
Taking away from the source of problem and going down to explain simply what was 'wrong' using basic terms that I knew he grasped like 'hit','hurt', 'happy', 'sad'.
The chillout was for indoors, when reason wasn't working it involved lifting him up and taking him to a darkened bedroom with no stimulation (sometimes classical music). The idea is to stand, in the room, out of arms reach until the child calms down tantrums themself out. I would tell DS he could get off the bed and go and play again when he had finished shouting and hitting.
I can't remember if staying on the bed is essential, but it was my take on the approach, seemed softer.

Restraint - in dangerous situations (by roadside) reins, pram or similar. Mainly for under 2's.

Reason - 'why are you crying'? 'What do you want?' He used to stop to think when he was little, so kind of an extension to distraction
Removal of self - The chillout worked for a while, but when he got bigger and was being violent, I started to remove myself from the situation, by going into the bathroom and locking the door.
He would bang the door, but very quickly calm down and apologise and ask me to come out.

Positive phrasing - the idea is to start the sentence with a positive like 'you can' rather than saying 'stop' or 'you can't'.
e.g. 'You can have a cup of milk, when you have stopped shouting'

I don't think there is anything wrong with explaining when you are upset or angry and saying when you don't want to talk or play because you are feeling sad or cross.
I think children (and some adults )do need to know their actions affect others and I would prefer it to be me explaining this than another angry child.
I found using gentle discipline techniques helpful partially because they forced me to think of my phrasing, approach in order to use the various approaches. It kind of diffused my anger slightly when I had to think reasonably.