Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[rowingboat]

Hello world!

gumblossom I was 19 when pregnant with DD. DS1 is technically DH's from first marriage.

linda I will have to look for that thread, can do with a laugh sometimes!

rowingboat Yes, I was absolutely relieved to avoid the early menopause. Not sure how I managed it, as 2 out of my 3 sisters had it. Fingers crossed as well for your cycle.

curlylox I have hair that is rather similar - can be very curly - I do everytyhing I can to reduce the curl. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't want to cut it too short or I'll look like Shirley Temple. But too long is a hassle as well.

diege lol - I think my DH is definitely aware that he gets more when we are ttc'ing - and then it's like a week of doing it constantly, then nothing for 3 weeks as we're either exhausted, on AF, or saving up energy for O time.

Well, we've made it through O without any injury (DH actually pulled a muscle once during and had to make up something at work for why he couldn't lift stuff as he has a physical job ).

warning - rant ahead

Does anyone else have a HV that is driving them mad?? DS3 is 9 months. Our HV sent a notice that we received on a Saturday saying she was coming for his 9 month health check on the Monday (2 days from then!). So I called her office and told her no it was not convenient and to cancel. She called me on Monday, badgering me to reschedule so she could come to our home and do the check. I told her I was not happy to have her come into our home (due to DH's work schedule he sleeps during the day) and because DS2 is in preschool 1/2 days so I'm constantly running to pick him up or drop him off. I said I'd plan a time later to bring him in to the surgery to have it done. She was very pushy but finally realised I wasn't budging on it. Yesterday, she showed up at our door at 9.30 with no warning or anything, saying she wanted to do the baby's health check. DH told her it was an inconvenient time and that she needed to leave (politely I might add). I've already TOLD the surgery I do not want the HV coming out to our house, as she is extremely pushy and also rather ill-informed (long story, trust me, but she is an unbelievable alarmist over developmental issues and she just does my head in!). What in God's name do I need to do to get this woman to back off?!?!

(ok, sorry for the rant, but am hoping someone will have some good ideas on this!)

Triggles I would be mightily pissed off it that were my HV . All checks are voluntary, and not only has she given you pretty much no notice, but has blatently ignored your opinions/very valid reasons for wanting to attend surgery instead. What did she say when you told her she wasn't welcome? (BTW, dind't realise there was a 9mth check - my nearly 11 mth son must have missed that one )I think it must be something they put in hv's tea that causes them to be so alarmist...my lot have been referred for possible deafness after not turning when she whispered behind them, developmental lag re: walking (started crusing/walking before the appointment came through, albeit at 22 months ), and delayed speech (same, now can't shut her up). Last time we saw our HV with ds1 was at 10 weeks

Just a quicky cos i'm at work. Found the quote and am clinging on to it and hugging it to me as you read .

Am feeling sooo much better now - those darn hormones!

One of the ladies who is preg at work is wearing a tight top and talking about her bump a lot which is making me want to go arrrgghhh - but i know she has had 3 MC's in the past so i am being very gracious and allowing her this time to rejoice - she does deserve it .

I am not going to use the cream this month and see if i am less loopy.

My Dh moans that we only do 'it' around ovulation time and then we stop but to be fair i have such short cycles that I usually only stop cos AF has turned up. He's only moaning cos it was his birthday whilst AF was here and he has yet to have his birthday sh*g. Mental note to self - make sure hubbie doesn't feel like a sperm bank .

Love to all - gotta go - anyone could be reading this over my shoulder - (open plan office!)

Diege I did tell her the baby was in for immunisations recently and I had no concerns over his development, and discussed where he was at with the nurses, and they seemed fine with it. HV's response? "Nurses aren't qualified to do 9 month checks." This is the same HV who told me that DS2 was alarmingly developmentally delayed as he wasn't talking much (can't stop him talking now!!) and didn't "point" at things to tell me what he wanted. She gave me a 10 minute speech about how pointing was a form of communication and if he wasn't doing it, then there were HUUUUGE alarm bells ringing for her and he needed to followed up. This woman seems to be absolutely frothing at the mouth to come into our home, and god only knows why. Nothing abnormal going on here, but I think because I have told her I don't want a home visit, she thinks we're "suspicious"... when really I can't tell her the truth - that she irritates me to death and I don't want to speak to her.

I think you should tell her Triggles what a nightmare of a woman . And what's all that stuff about pointing? I have 4 Los and thinking back I certainly don't remember them pointing at things
Hippy glad you're feeling better. LOL at 'birthday shag' . My dh has (his own invention, natch) a 'week of birthday celebrations' - if he's lucky he gets it once then. I do agree that we should at least maybe give a dud s*ag say a day or 2 before af due, to make them feel we are less, shall we say 'utilitarian' in our desires

hippy yes, I had to giggle at birthday shag as well - mainly because it's DH's birthday today, and to be honest after all we've done this week because of it being "the big O week", the LAST thing he would want is that! I think he's still recuperating! We gave him cash for a new tattoo (he wants one with DS3's name as he has all the others done as well) and a DVD set he's been wanting for ages. And then a nice curry on Saturday evening (and if you think for a moment that any fooling around is going on after he has a meal of beer and spicy lamb curry you're made of stronger stuff than me! ). We are definitely low key for birthdays here.

diege oh it's so tempting to just blurt it out. I have checked the guidelines online for 9 months, and DS3 is just where he should be, I don't need her to tell me this. DS2 never had a 9 month check, and he seems to be doing fine, despite the trauma of missing it. I told DH the other day that the temptation to simply tell her to piss off was getting unbearable!

Whenever I'm MIA for a bit so much happens on this thread. Alba I'm so pleased at your news, lovely to hear after what you had just been through. Hairy too, so pleased it was just a bleed. You must be so relieved.

Sorry you are having a rough time Hippy its horrible how things hit you sort of unexpectedly, just when you think you're doing ok. I'm with you too on the symptom spotting, so disappointing but impossible to avoid too.

Ghengis so sorry to see you've been disappointed too, hope someone in RL is taking proper care of you.

Waves to everyone else and apologies for anything important I've missed - its lovely when the thread is so busy but its a bit much for my hormone addled brai to keep up with it all

Ooh Rowing, nearly forgot to say good luck with the next stage in your journey, hope your cycle carries on doing all the right things.

OK quick update from over here in hormone havoc, last month 36 day cycle, this month 44 days two bfns and loads of odd assorted symptoms that of course I could not help but imagine might mean I was pg.

Have done the move back to blighty, started new job and so far (I think) avoided anyone discovering that I'm not half so clever as I'm cracked up to be (job interviews, don't you just love em).

Am trying to convince myself that weird cycle stuff could all be caused by stress and bad diet (i.e. eating cake like it was going out of fashion).

Anyway shock of being back in UK for real has finally hit home and I realised this is a great place to come back to but not necessarily to live. Now I can go into M&S anytime I like its not a treat anymore (says she sounding like such a spoiled brat)!

So now I'm plotting with old boss to go back (I know completely ridiculous, but you have to at least try to be happy, I reckon anyway). So I've got the summer to try and find out if there's any chance I can get pg again.

Sorry for the super long post, I just wanted to catch up cause even when I don't get on MN for ages I do miss everybody

Just updating - levels today down to 55.5 - was taken at hospital.

so... a MC after all.

Has been a real rollercoaster, on, then off, then on then off again.

I had a pelvic exam (yuck plastic thingy) and my cervix is closed, and all seems fine and dandy in my nether regions, so just got to wait til hormones disperse and will try again straight away!

Have another blood test Saturday morning to make sure that the hormones continue to disperse.

We've had a good cry - my OH is very upset, but he's so very supportive it's a blessing.

and next time I'll test later, I think, cos the worst part was not knowing if HCG was low because it was early or something was wrong

Thank you all and consider me TTC again!

hairy xxxxx

Hairy saw your news earlier on the MC board what a horrid experience for you, one minute up then down again Hugs to you, we'll be on our ttc journey together I think..
I've had my acupunceture today, actually lifted my spirits as was having a real downer (like the 4 days post birth am wondering if the hormone drop is the same post MC) this morning. He's still convinced I am healthy enough and my cycles are regular enough to conceive, so MC just a coincidence & nothing to do with my age..need Floradix tho to top me up from the blood loss then back to TTC next month.
GPS hellooo & thanks . Where have you moved back to?
Hi to all, off to watch alternative election on C4 - v funny so far, come dine with me on now my fave!!

Oh Hairy I am so sorry You must feel wretched after having your hopes raised and then dashed You sound very positive though and good that you are able to look forward to the future xx
Genghis watching alternative election night here too (love the Peep show and see that the 2 from there are on). Fancy watching the results programme but just know that a very late night and a 6am start don't mix!

Cheers ghengis and Diege

I've made us both little memorial bead keyring danglys - an aquamarine bead to remember our little poppett that never was, surrounded by two orange beads for conception

Hairy x

Hi all,

Hairy I'm so sorry about things not working out, especially visits to hospital. On the plus side your health people seem very attentive and helpful. Take it easy and try to indulge yourself for a while.
Memorial keyrings sound very poigniant (is that how you spell that???). I think that sounds like a lovely idea and a fitting way to mark the little passing.

Deige good luck with the election night TV. Don't get sucked in or you will be starting work with matchsticks propping up your eyelids.

Triggles HV horrors! Can you complain about her to somebody. I know there must be a good, sympathetic HV out there somewhere, but the only ones I have met are psychotic.

GPS hoooooge wave and mwah, mwah! I can just picture you at work. Sitting with a glazed expression until one of your colleagues looks over and then suddenly looking very busy programming your schedule on your blackberry. You could get away with it for years.
Do you think you will chuck it in, or could it just be the shock of too many things happening at one time?

So day 28 and no AF so not much to report.

hairy so sorry about your loss. I think the memorial keyring is a wonderful idea - DH & I had 4 losses and we finally purchased a small tatty teddy (the one with the blanket that said sleep tight) and it's our "remembrance" for those lost babies. It's a small thing, but it helps for us. Hope you and OH are doing alright (as best as possible anyway).

Election night TV, of all the horrors. I had stuff recorded on our Virgin box for just this occasion, so I could watch that and avoid political junk tonight. We still had people stuffing political papers and knocking on doors this evening, for heaven's sake!!!

Hairy, so sorry to hear about the m/c. Very hard when your hopes were reignited. I love that you made a little memorial for your LO.

Triggles, sorry about the question earlier about your age - I meant to ask how old when you fell pregnant with your baby.I could probably work out the maths, but I'm not sure if you just turned 44 or are closer to 45? I also wanted to ask if you had any testing done? Did you do an amnio? I still don't know what I'll do, but need to get preggers first!

My silly PITA younger sister told me I was old today and better get pregnant soon. Gee, thanks for that lovey! I really don't want to hear anything negative at all. I saw my acupuncturist last night.I really needed the session and almost didn't go cos just dragging myself there felt insurmountable...anyway, glad I did because I have so much more energy today.It was really good to just lie there with needles stuck into me for half an hour. She seems to think it is very possible to get pregnant and the key is to relax.Hmmm, if I had a dollar for everyone who said that I'd be on a tropical island in the sun with a margarita,relaxing!

How's the election going? It is all over the news here (in Australia). We still feel very much a part of the Empire.

I'm sending virtual strawberry margaritas (so no need to worry about the alcohol).Enjoy!

Hi all,

Trig that is very sweet about the battered teddy. I do think it is a good thing, for your emotional well-being to mark these sadnesses, to show they were significant.

Gum I'm glad the acupuncture worked so well. I would probably go, but it's extortionate here and we are feeling the credit crunch having funded two IVFs.
I hear you about the daft comments about age. Usually made by the unitiated, this is the reason there are loads of over 40s getting pg, because they all think they are practically sterile. Nuts really. I have had similar comments and just shrug them off and smile secretly to myself.

So AF turned up early this morning, you know when you wake up wincing.

The election is not going well and it looks like we are going to have a hung parliament. Lots of politician will be arm wrestling behind closed doors in a bid to negotiate a bit of power.

So I'm just trying to get through to the clinic (engaged) to arrange a scan. I reckon they will get me in on Monday morning.
Not even thinking about it... Not going to get all hyper about it.

Hello, I have been lurking on this thread for a while and also on the assisted conception thread. Finding it difficult to keep up with everyones news as at work (open plan) hard to spend much time on MN.
Anyway firstly wanted to offer my condolences and support to all those people who have just MC'd and/or are experiencing sadness and congratulations to anyone who is pregnant.
My husband (just turned 40) and myself (the older woman just turned 44) have twin boys (4 years at the end of May) who were conceived via ICSI due to male fertility problems.
I long for another child (husband not so keen especially if it means fertility treatment again) almost as much now as I did before falling pregnant with the boys.
Although we are hoping for a miracle conception (2 x further attempts at IVF since boys have failed) we (or should I say I) are also thinking about egg/embryo donation and more likely adoption. From what I understand (correct me if Im wrong for those that know) if you already have children (natural or adoptive) then I believe we would only be able to adopt a younger child and that child would have to be atleast 2 years younger. I also understand that the availability (so to speak) or adoptive children 2 years old and younger is very scarce so Im not sure whether we should wait or try starting the adoptive process to see whether we might be approved atleast for adoption. What is the policy re age of prospective parents do you know and also would it count against us that we alraedy have two children?
I should probably be posting this re adoption on another thread but feel as if I know you all a bit here and you all seem to be very supportive and friendly.

Hello, i'm a new member and dont know how all this works I hope someone may be able to help me, I am 47 and trying to conceive no. 4, after a 17 yr gap. Before going down the IVF lines we're trying to do it ourselves, I had my IUD removed 8 weeks ago had 1 period and should have had my 2nd period last weekend but hava a no show, am now on day 9, 2 negative tests but I have symptoms ie constant peeing, feeling sick, nipples so painful as if they have been razored, I have put on 2lbs since sunday and can't get into my clothes! Has this happened to anyone else, could I be showing negative when i'm positive? i'm very confused. I am having acupuncture for fertility and am now being treated as if pregnant just incase. sorry to make my 1st post so long, I wont be so greedy next time!

Just wanted so say sorry hairy you really have been on a rollercoaster, sending big hugs your way.

lots happening on here - almost as hard to follow as the election results...

welcome all newbies - always lovely to hear of more 40+ quests.

hairy so sorry you have had such a rollercoaster (cliche but true) - hope you are doing ok.

hippy more tidying than you would believe... shaved all the cats and put DS in a straitjacket... . Emotionally wasn't ready to sell the house when the offer came in SOOOO quickly, but have recovered and run around like a loon this week getting solicitor set up and all wheels in motion to exchange ASAP (and certainly before the first budget when everyone realises the interest rates will go up and mortgages will soar and noone will be able to afford to do anything....!).

Hi to all - off to lounge on sofa with a book as DS in nursery this afternoon, arranged so I could blitz house for open day tomorrow, that doesn't need to happen cos sold already - HOOOOOOORARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

x

Linda you are so brave (the tears are rolling down my face) and so very strong. I wish all the very best for the future, a huge hug from me ((((((())))))))).......and I'm struck by your courage that words fail me

Linda I wish I could give you big hug you are so very brave, and wise. Take it easy x

Hi all,

Linda it is sad that you feel this is the end for TTC. I can see why you wouldn't want to risk your health when you have children depending on you. I don't think I appreciated how important health and well-being were until passed 40. Do you think you may continue the journey to add to your family by other means or will you focus on your family and other things?

Holey welcome to the thread, you seem to have quite a few irons in the fire. It you are still TTC you will love it on here, join the crazed symptom spotting.
After our second, failed IVF we are about to return for our frozen embryos so I do understand something of what you have been through. We have 7 frosties, but if they don't take we are considering embryo adoption abroad, it's less expensive than here.
I think your understanding about adoption is quite accurate. Definitely check out the adoption threads for more information and support. One of our lovely ladies: Italian Greyhound is also heading down the adoption route.

MrsF welcome to the thread. I'm not sure about your symptoms, but I have heard of women waiting quite a long time to get a positive on a test. If nothing shows up soon it might be worth going to your GP for a check up. Could you be experiencing side effects from the removal of the IUD?

Jollster that sounds heavenly, the lovely, peaceful afternoon. I hope you enjoyed your book.
Hi Hairy, Hippy, Curly, Trig, Lia, GPS and everyone

My news is that I got through to the nurses and am scheduled to go for a scan and blood tests on Monday. They want to see where I am so to speak then nothing until CD10.
Still didn't manage run number 2, too busy and PMS. Think I will just do one run tomorrow and start afresh next week.
The dance class on Wednesday is quite strenuous and I can't see myself running the same day so not sure how I'm going to fit in the mid-week run without feeling completely pooped.
What about the election then? Good grief! Not a surprise though.

Good morning feisty and fabulous ladies, hope you are all good this morning and have a gret weekend!

I am now back to TTC

Morning . Hairy good to hear you sounding so positive and back on the ttc wagon. I'm sure things will happen again for you very soon x
Rowing my goodness you sound very fit Good that tests are kicking off next week, though I imagine you feel a little nervous/excited about it all? And I think Good Grief sums up the election result very well . Wearing my heart on my sleeve I'll admit to being a life long Socialist, and while quite a way away from that these days did vote Labour. It's a bit of a busman's holiday for me, being a politic's lecturer, so haven't wanted to watch too much, but will be interested to see what happens these next few weeks. Hell, it's hard enough for the students to understand straight forward results from elections, let along this mess
Hope everyone is well and feeling ok. It's cd 11 for me, so time to do the deed tonight I think though a cup of tea and cream egg would do me just as well if it wasn;t 'the time'